“Breakfast is ready!”, she giggles, and they both start jumping around on the bed while you still struggle to wake up. Stretching and yawning tiredly, you grab your two children all of a sudden and pull them into a loving and tight hug, which makes them laugh out loud. Only then do you notice how a pleasurable scent flows through the air, surrounding you.

“I will be right behind you”, you smile at your two darlings and attack them with a load of kisses before they can wriggle themselves out of your arms before disappearing through the bedroom door in the hallway. You listen and hear how they sprint down the stairs, which is followed by another fit of laughter.

Slowly, you sit up and look around, your gaze landing on the empty other half of the large bed. Still not fully awake, you frown in confusion before you lift up the warm duvet and sit on the edge of the bed. Another yawn escapes your mouth, much longer than the first, before you finally get up, throw on a dressing gown and follow your lovely children downstairs. With every step that you slide down the stairs, the delightful scent become more intense, and your mouth almost starts watering already.

However, as soon as you step over the doorstep into the light-flooded kitchen, your hold your breath. For a brief moment you feel like you are in an untruthful dream, because in front of you stands none other than Poe Dameron himself, leader of the Black Squadron, best pilot in the entire galaxy, with his – or rather your – children in his arms who cling to him lovingly. Shocked and stunned at the same time, you watch the scene in front of you and how tenderly he treats them, how he makes them giggle while he casually stands there at the stove, preparing breakfast.

Finally, your eyes meet, and you feel how your heart stops beating for a short moment before a big smile forms on his lips, reminding you to inhale deeply. Still unable to say a word, your children run up to you and hug your legs, just like they did with their father only seconds before. He comes up to you as well, very close, and gives you a gentle kiss as a greeting.

“Slept well?”, he asks with a mischievous grin and brushes one strand of your hair, which has come loose from your messy hairstyle due to your tossing and turning around while sleeping, behind your ear. Poe looks at you with so much love and affection in his eyes that you forget to breathe again before this peaceful moment is suddenly interrupted by multiple loud bangs.

“Y/N!”, you hear someone calling your name in the distance, probably at the front door, but you do not get to question it, because the unpleasant noise persists, getting louder from second to second. “Wake up!”

You need a moment to find your way back to reality. Outside you hear loud footsteps and many voices until the bang sounds again and you realize that it was Finn all along, pounding his fist against your door in order to wake you up.

Completely sleepy, you stumble out of bed and run over to the door, which opens with the push of a button, sliding to the side to reveal Finn. With half-open eyes and sleep dazed appearance, you must look anything but stunning right now, but you do not care since you would never forgive Finn for tearing you out of this wonderful dream.

A weird feeling suddenly strikes you as you realize, with huge disappointment, that in fact everything was just a dream and not reality at all. The leader of the Black Squadron and the best pilot in the galaxy, Poe Dameron, is by no means your husband. And those children, your children, do not exist either.

While you listen to Finn absently while being lost in your own thoughts, you do not understand one word of what he is saying and only find your way back to the present when he is suddenly no longer standing in front of you. Your heart beats faster in your chest, making you breathe in deeply. However, you do not know whether it is jumping like that because it is still stuck in your desired reality or because it actually hurts to know that it is not true and probably never will be.

If only one day this dream could become reality, you would give anything for it.

Your gaze switches to the time and you are quick to hurry back into your rom and get ready for the day. Even if you have been rudely torn away from your happy dreamworld, you still have a job to do. The Resistance needs you nonetheless and you cannot allow yourself to pay more attention to something as ridiculous as a dream than your work.

Quickly, you run through the corridors, slipping on your jacket while running until you finally reach the huge hangar, in which numerous members of the Resistance have already gathered, tinkering around with their spaceships. Here and there they talk to each other, tell each other about the latest news from the galaxy far far away, because after all there is a brutal war going on. A war that you try to forget about all too often in your dreams.

Your gaze wanders over the various ships and vehicles until it gets stuck on one specific black and orange X-Wing, not detaching itself from it after sighting it. Amazed you find that you neither see Poe nor his best friend BB-8 anywhere around. Usually at this time of the day he is always busy, lying under his beloved X-Wing and messing with it.

Just as you are about to turn around, you flinch when two strong arms wrap around your waist out of nowhere and you are tightly pressed to a warm body. You sigh in relief when you hear his voice very close to your ear, with incredible goose bumps spreading over your whole body.

“How often do I have to tell you not to sneak up on me from behind like that, Dameron!”, you rebuke him and cause him to chuckle before you feel how he relieves the pressure and gives you the opportunity to turn and face him. There he stands, just as handsome as in your dreams, the same mischievous grin playing around his lips, his dark locks tousled. Instead of your children, however, BB-8 is now rolling at his feet, making happy beeping sounds after seeing you.

“I assume you had a good night?”, Poe laughs and, just like in your dream, brushes a strand of hair off your face and behind your ear affectionately. Even this small gesture already turns you into a blushing mess and your heart beats a lot faster than before. To hide this, you playfully swat his hand away, his subsequent shocked expression satisfying you.

“Should you not be working on new tactics?”

“Should you not help me?”, he counters with raised eyebrows, his arms crossed over his chest. Again, he leaves you speechless, but this time in the real world, and before you even have the slightest chance to respond, he already put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him, messing up your hair as you go, causing you to yell at him.

“Dameron!”

You spend the whole day together, whether you stand by when he actually repairs his X-Wing or when you come up with next tactics, you do not leave each other’s side all day. Not that it is any different on any other day; one can always find you two glued to each other.

But especially today you notice that Poe searches for your touch or gets closer to you at every opportunity he gets. A closeness that feels closer than it should be for a “mere friendship” – as you always like to call it. Maybe it is your dream and the incredibly strong desire to make it come true that makes your next words slip off your tongue so easily.

“Why are you always so touchy around me?”

Apparently, this sudden question caught Poe off guard because he abruptly pauses in his movement and slowly turns around to you, ignoring the data he should be entering into his holopad. You cannot identify the emotion decorating his face and you quickly avert your gaze when he stands there just staring at you, his mouth open.

“I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Y/N”, he finally breaks the silence, a kind of insecurity in his voice that you have never heard from him before. Startled by his statement, you look at him again.

“N-No! That is not it, that is not what I meant-“

“I should have asked you for your consent, I am such an idiot. No, listen to me”, he says after you were about to interrupt him again. “It is just like this.. Ikindalikeyoualot.”

“What?”, you ask, puzzled, He mumbles the last few words so quickly that you could barely make them out, but something about his tensed stature tells you that he is fighting against an inner conflict.

“I like you.. like a lot”, he suddenly confesses and now you are the one who stands there speechless, eyes wide open. In an instant it feels like you are in your dream again, but with the huge difference that this no longer is a dream, but actually reality. With quick steps Poe crosses the distance between you two after have managed to produce a quiet ‘me too’, takes your face in his big, somewhat rough hands and kisses you lovingly and longingly.

There are so many emotions in the kiss that you need a moment before you return it. However, as you do, all tension in both of you is released immediately and you fully enjoy the moment.

As soon as he breaks the kiss, he leans his forehead against yours, looking deep into your eyes and whispering a soft ‘I love you’.

Leia had entrusted the four of you - Rey, Finn, Poe, and you - with this very important mission and sent you to Vandor to meet up with a spy in the ranks of the First Order who captured said plans. With these plans you could have foreseen their next steps and be prepared for them. You would have had a chance, but now that the plans are gone, the hopelessness keeps increasing.

After you went to Vandor and reached your destination, you were badly surprised on your way back to the base and had to make an emergency landing on Pasaana, a heavily populated desert planet. You immediately thought that something was not right, that something was suspicious since the Millennium Flacon was carefully checked on the basis of the Resistance beforehand and showed no signs of any damages or problems. You should have guessed that the First Order was behind this, chasing you down until they got their precious plans back. And unfortunately, that is exactly what they now succeeded in doing.

Pasaana is known for its colorful festivals and marketplaces and while you were looking for spare parts to repair the Falcon with, you were distracted. You were not paying attention, got distracted, and suddenly the plans were gone, stolen by a creature you would classify as a bounty hunter based on its appearance. They were shrewd and cunning and had probably worked out their deed diligently. One of them distracted you all, talked to you, got you involved in a conversation and offered you all sorts of things, just like a real trader. What none of you noticed, however, was how his companion sneaked up on you from behind and stole your bag with the plans.

The two of them ran away immediately and you followed them as quickly as possible. While doing so, you also drew the attention of a few patrols consisting of stormtroopers of the First Order on you, who are making the pursuit even more difficult now. Rey fends off their shots with her blue lightsaber, Finn shoots his blaster at your chasers in the middle of running, while Poe and you are closely following behind the bounty hunters.

The sand under your feet makes it strenuous for you to move forward quickly, but not only you are affected by it. The bounty hunters as well as the stormtroopers are struggling with it too and since you ran out of the actual city by now, you find yourself completely surrounded by sand.

However, you do not let it stop you and continue to pursue them in the hope of regaining the important plans with the information, not dooming your mission. Poe tries to hit them with his own blaster shots repeatedly, but terribly fails. In return for his attack, you are met with a small ball flying straight towards you; a bomb.

Within seconds, Poe throws himself protectively at you, pulling you to the side and away from the source of danger, ending up in the soft sand when the bomb goes off close to you. Poe shields the swirling sand from you with his body, his strong arms blocking your view.

“Are you alright?”, he asks you worried, his arms wrapped tightly around you, scanning his eyes over your face.

“Y-Yes. Thank you”, you stutter out. You have never been this close to him before as you are at this moment right now. His dark curls fall on his forehead, beautifully framing it, his stunning brown eyes look straight into yours. You lose yourself in the moment, wanting to control and stop the time to forever enjoy this moment. Poe, on the other hand, seems to be stunned as well. By you.

He has had these feelings for you for so long already, but he suppressed them. At first, he tried to deny the fact that he fell for you, but seeing you every day, seeing that gorgeous smile on your face that he wants to touch so bad every time, he accepted his feelings at some point, but was still not ready to confess them. How could he? In the midst of a war raging around you, he felt it was inappropriate and not the right time to put his feelings first. But right now, in this moment, he would like nothing more than to confess his love to you. Kiss you right on the spot, cup your face, softly touch you with his fingers, all that he wishes so dearly still seems so far away, even now when he can literally feel your raging heartbeat against his chest.

No longer able to withstand his loving gaze on you, you avert your gaze and Poe watches how your eyes suddenly widen.

“The plans!”, you shout in shock and bring you both back to the bitter reality. Getting up as fast as possible, Poe helping you, you stomp through the deep sand again, following the bounty hunters who have brought a great distance between you in the meantime.

“What are you two even doing!?”, you hear Rey’s voice behind you as she comes running after you both. Apparently, she and Finn successfully eliminated all stormtroopers.

“They are going to escape!”, Finn adds a little angry, the blaster still ready in his hands before another loud shot is suddenly fired.

Several Tie Fighters have now appeared above you, chasing and shooting you. You are abruptly forced to stop in your tracks when one of their fatal shots lands right in front of you, blocking your path with a violent explosion, whirling the sand through the air again.

“This way!”, Poe calls out, takes you by the hand and leads you into a crevice, closely followed by Rey and Finn. “Their footprints lead this way, come on!”

Not hesitating for long, you stay hunched between the rocks, walking more slowly than before with the Tie Fighters over your head, waiting like vultures for their prey. The footprints lead through the rocky landscape until you reach a large, deep cliff.

Right when you reach it, the bounty hunters run over a narrow, unstable suspension bridge that leads over said gorge. Without thinking any further, Poe and you quickly follow them, the loose pieces of wood creaking dangerously under your feet. And on top of all of this, the Tie Fighters reappear, now that there is enough space above you to shoot at you again. A shot fired by Finn, who has stopped on the solid surface in front of the cliff, passes you, heading straight for the bounty hunters, but missing them by only a few inches. One of them aims his weapon directly at Poe and you on the loose bridge, fires a shot as well and actually lands a hit this time. Poe cries out in pain, whimpering, when his blaster is shot out of his hand with great impact, falling into the abyss.

As soon as the two bounty hunters reach the other safe side of the gorge, a disgusting laugh comes from their mouths as they suddenly start to cut the rotten ropes of the hanging bridge. Immediately the bridge begins to sway dangerously under your feet, nearly knocking you over when you try to keep your balance.

“Watch out!”, you hear Rey’s loud scream behind you, the last thing you hear right before one of the Tie Fighters shots fly through the air again, breaking the rope in half and causing you to fall into the deep depths, screaming.

At the very last moment you manage to hold on to a broken old rope, reach out your arm right away to catch Poe as well. His weight pulls hard on your arm, making you cry out in pain briefly, but you grab his hand as tightly as you can, not letting go of him. You hang helplessly in the air over the gorge, which leads several meters down, not even being able to see the ground from up here. A cold breeze floats through the gorge and not only makes you sway, but also the almost completely destroyed suspension bridge above you.

“Poe! Poe, hold on tight, okay? I got this!”, you scream loudly, hoping to give him and also yourself the strength to get through this, but when you look up to where the bridge was a few seconds ago, another part of it breaks and you fall a few meters deeper. Holding on to the one puny rope with your bare physical strength, tears are already stinging your eyes, the situation seeming hopeless. The rope, which now resembles a thin thread, will not be able to hold you for much longer.

“Y/N. It will not hold us both”, Poe states, his shaky voice full of fear and sadness, saying out loud what you thought.

“No, it will hold us both. It will, I know it will!”, you reply with an equal shaky voice, looking down at him and the infinite depth below him. Bloods runs down his arm, caused by the injury on his hand due to the shot, turning his light brown shirt a deep red. Tears well up in your eyes when you notice the helplessness in his eyes. Shortly after your words, the rope starts to tear a little more and your arms turn sorer every second.

“I should have told you this much earlier, Y/N. But I want you to know that, before we die, I truly love you”, Poe confesses out of nowhere, causing the tears to flow down your cheeks, your hand clasping even more around his wrist.

“I love you too, Poe. With all my heart”, you sob and see a gentle smile on Poe’s lips, which disappears again quickly as his whole facial expression changes after his gaze fell on the thread which is the only thing still saving you from death. “We will not die, do you hear me? We will make it out of here!”

“Y/N. I am sorry”, he whispers and suddenly loosens his grip on your hand. Screaming bitterly, you try to grab him, to hold him, but his hand slips away, and Poe falls down into the abyss, margining with the deep black while you can only scream after him.

“NO!”, you cry out loudly, your hand still outstretched, warm and covered in blood where your hands were still touching seconds before. “POE!”

You are about to let go as well, your grip on the rope, that is currently still rescuing you from the same fatal fate as Poe, is already loosening when you suddenly feel how the gravity gets reversed and you begin to float in the air. Slowly, you slide up out of the deep gorge, still holding the rope in your hand, your gaze fixed on the black below you as you get rescued through the Force by Rey. As soon as you feel solid ground under your feet again, you rush back to the dangerous edge, fall on your knees in front of it while tears flow down your cheeks in streams.

With beeping ears and a throbbing heart, you feel how Rey and Finn put their arms around you, how they talk to you and try to comfort you. But nothing could. Nothing in this universe could relieve you from the absolute pain you are in.