#pocket rambles

I have SOOOOOO many thoughts about Scratch.

Abstraction is irreversible and since there is no cure for abstraction, Caine places any newly obstructed character in the Cellar, cut off from the rest of the circus. Malignant tumors can invade nearby tissue and spread (metastasize) but sometimes a cancer can be cured when it is cut out.

Tumors (especially cancerous ones) form when cells stop obeying normal regulatory signals and begin dividing uncontrollably.

Abstractions are shown as bodies losing their defined shape and becoming a chaotic, expanding mass of spikes and shifting matter.

Healthy cells have specific roles; tumor cells often lose specialization and behave abnormally and tumors themselves can cause those with them to act abnormally. In TADC, abstraction seems to erase a character’s personality and identity, turning them into something unrecognizable (although we have had evidence of them temporarily being able to be soothed via Queenie though this was in the early stages).

Both represent a breakdown of normal structure and organization.

Unfortunately, Scratch had a brain tumor which likely would have killed him.

But I absolutely think that Scratch was partially leading the programming in order to find some kind of way to put himself into a digital space to immortalize himself. He had a tumor, likely didn’t have much time left, and didn’t want to die so he made a way for himself to live forever.

Like…

“He was trying to make something. What was it?” and “His ideas were ABSTRACT”.

If you were a programmer on deaths door and facing the horror of your body actively fighting against itself and had the ability to develop a way to store you consciousness elsewhere...why wouldn't you at least try?

While abstraction is definitely more psychological (no this does not mean that everyone in the circus has a brain tumor) it is curious how there are similarities between the two.

Especially since Scratch was the FIRST abstraction.

He was staying with his mom at my neighbor's. They needed someplace cheap and safe and temporary. I didn't ask questions, and honestly I don't think 19 year old me cared enough to connect the dots. But I always had a lot of toys growing up. Like an absurd amount. Like enough Barbie™ dolls to give one to every classmate in first grade, not just the boys. And I had enough toy cars to almost fill three of those thin, clear tackle boxes that would layer get remarketed to sewers and hobby moms. They were perfect for cars with the modular dividers.

He didn't have any toys. He was sweet but shy and he didn't have any toys because there wasn't enough time to pack them I guess. Sometimes parents don't understand a kid's emotions, their attachments. Don't blame her, she had bigger things to focus on. Like safety and a limited window of opportunity.

I am the very model of a modern Warrior of Light

I’ve had to unite many sides; from dragonflight to socialite.

I’ve gone to different worlds and defeated Primal’s left and right

Ultima Thule was different, though, Endsinger gave me quite the fright.

But I challenged Zenos at the end and fist-fought him with all my might

The bad guy’s gone and once again my friends and I have won the fight

So let’s celebrate and take a break it’s time to settle down they said,

But if I’m not there to save the day then everyone could wind up dead…

All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYONE COULD WIND UP DEAD All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYONE COULD WIND UP DEAD All: IF THEY’RE NOT THERE TO SAVE THE DAY THEN EVERYBODY'S GONNA WIND UP DEAD.

I‘m very good at pushing past my limits when I take damage

In combat I’m unmatched my job-stones give me quite the advantage

Tangent below, don't feel like you need to read it lol.

But talking with my therapist, she pointed out how I'm constantly obsessing about things I "have to do"...that I don't actually have to do lol. She said I should take more breaks, but talking with my partner, I said I felt like all I do is take breaks lol.

But then my partner pointed out how often when I'm "taking a break" it's usually still doing something else...like my art queue.

So...

Here's another picture done from my art queue lol.

All jokes aside, don't forget to take some time for yourself to do things you want to do...or nothing at all! It's okay!

My mother always said (and I find myself saying this all too much), "I'll rest when I'm dead." That is a horrible mentality. Don't do that! Take care of you, so you can take care of other obligations. <33

You deserve rest and to do things that are enjoyable to you. Even if checking things off your 'to do list' is enjoyable, rest is always a necessity<33