#pnwitch thoughts

For the first time in... Months? Years? It was my first day doing rideshare work, and I was buzzing with pent up energy from the day. My body is used to moving all day, not sitting, and my brain is used to having leisure time all day, not being in On Customer Service Mode.

So to release that pent up energy, I went for a run. As soon as I saw the full moon peering through the trees, I realized why it was running that I felt I needed to do.

When I was an angsty teen, I would often sneak out of my room at night and just go running. I had a lot of frustration and anger from an unstable home life, and I would just run as hard as I could, pumping all my anger and frustration and energy into my legs, to carry me as fast and as far as they could.

Yesterday, I ran like that. Through an unlit, forested park, with no lights and no people around, I ran. I ran until the leftover energy built up within me from each client throughout the day sloughed off. I ran through tall towering trees, through darkness. Spots of moonlight illuminated the otherwise pitch black path. Only the sound of gravel crunching under my feet, and an instinctual knowledge of the land kept me on the path, even in the darkest areas of the park.

I had a weird moment the other morning, and I'm wondering if other witchy/sensitive folks have had similar experiences.

I was heading to work earlier this week, having just come off a 3 day vacation during which I went camping. I'd been wearing my camp hoodie to work, bc it smelled good and bc I couldn't find my regular hoodie.

Found my work hoodie one morning, and it had some of my work stuff in the pockets. Switched into it, and was IMMEDIATELY overcome with a huge shift in mood and mind state. I'd been feeling relatively relaxed and ready to start my day, but I put on that hoodie and was suddenly anxious and on edge.

The last day at work before I started the vacation, was incredibly stressful and an incident occured which required HR intervention. I'd been fuming over this at work (also, having been off my ssri for 3 days made me extra on edge about the situation) but I'd been able to let go during the camp trip. After putting that hoodie on, all those feelings came f l o o d i n g back

I took off the hoodie and haven't put it on since. It feels like I need to wash it first. Cleanse it, literally.

I'm starting to slowly become aware and concious of invisible energy and the mood surrounding myself and others. I've always been a little sensitive and a little intuitive, but actively engaging with these parts of myself is making these feelings seem more solid and noticible. Having things like this jump out at me so strongly is new and unfamiliar.

Anyone else deal with "energy storage" type of things, or store energy in items unintentionally? Hoodies have always been a comfort item for me, but I've never noticed a thing hold onto energy like that?

When you can transform it into something better

Yesterday while my partner was away at a Dungeons and Dragons game I was meditating on energy, intent, and influence of these things. I decide to play with it, and mentally projected a certainty that my partner would not only roll a nat 20 during his game, but that he would max his damage roll as well.

I don't talk to my partner about spirituality at all. He doesn't know about this blog or much of my studying.

I didn't let my mind entertain any doubt of my intents working, only certainty, and let me tell y'all it paid off. Apparently it worked, and my partner did roll a nat 20 and then roll max damage - on the end boss of the whole session. Wrapped up the days game nice and on time instead of running way over, even. When my partner told me this story, I was brimming with energy and excitement at the confirmation of my working, but could not express it for I am still after all, in the broomcloset.

And then TODAY, I'm driving around for rideshare and end up about 45-an hour from home. I put it out there - I wish, I project, that I'll get an Airport ride from where I'm at - it's a long drive, and the airport is close to home. Lo and behold, 5 minutes later I get an airport ride, and my fare tipped well to boot.

Yesterday I finally found the energy to do this baking. I'd been meaning to make cookies for weeks but have not been able to find the time or energy.

I also tried baking bread for the first time, and it turned out wonderfully. It was a tad undercooked so I threw it back in for a few, but for my first time ever making bread it went incredibly well!