#pnwbmf

So...tldr version, I liked the ending. If you don’t want to strangle, yell or otherwise throw things at me, feel free to keep reading. (Yeah, it’s kinda long.)

In the last several episodes we’ve had boatloads of angst. I’ve seen people comment that they didn’t like the show after Episode 12. That’s fine. I get why some in the audience would dislike the last several episodes. Mom was horrible. Jin Ah was keeping secrets. Lots of stuff to find enraging about the characters. Everyone has their own opinion and, as we’ve established in other discussions here, that’s just groovy.

Here there be spoilers...

The other thing that upset everyone was the breakup and three year time jump. Now, I’d been spoiled on that awhile back so I saw it coming although I was still bummed to see it happen. But many were very upset. “How could they be apart for three years and not speak to each other?” “These people are adults, and should have worked it out.”

Here’s where I view Jin Ah a bit differently and why I actually liked the ending - including the time jump. (Granted, it didn’t need to be three years, but some space was good).

For Jin Ah’s entire life, she existed to please others. Her parents, her coworkers, and her boyfriend (the first one, not Joon Hee). As a 35 year old woman, she had not yet developed the ability to say no. To push back. To set boundaries and value herself and her well being first. As a woman who is probably ancient by Tumblr standards, I’ve lived that. I get not being able to stand up for yourself until you finally reach a breaking point.

Joon Hee had his sister, but that wasn’t a tie for him to remain in Korea. He did as he pleased. He lived in the US and had a level of freedom that Jin Ah simply never had or understood.

So, when Jin Ah and Joon Hee started a relationship, she began to value herself. For the first time, someone put her needs first. She finally understood that she was worth something. As she gained small measures of success - standing up to her superiors in the company, enjoying a relationship with Joon Hee, breaking up with Gyu Min - she became a whole person. Someone who finally put her well being first. This is not a bad thing and, again, something I didn’t comprehend until I was much older.

When Joon Hee decided to run away to the US, he wanted to take Jin Ah and escape from the pressures of her family. But, if she’d done that, all she would have accomplished is, yet again, conforming to someone else’s wishes for her.

So after three years, Jin Ah became independent. But she still conformed to her mother’s wishes by dating ABD (Annoying Business Dude) mostly because, again, she doesn’t see her own needs as important. Joon Hee helped her understand her worth and once he leaves, she feels adrift. Once she sees Joon Hee again, it hits her full force that she is someone of value and dumps ABD. Then, she leaves her family entirely and goes to JeJu Island by herself. This is important. She can be her own person and is now ready to be in a healthy relationship with someone.

Joon Hee also needed time to realize that their relationship wasn’t just him fulfilling his fantasy of her. If his love was real and lasting, he would be able to accept her for who she was and who she is now.

Now, I didn’t like her lying to him on several occasions. But I understood why she did it. She’d been subjected to Gyu Min’s controlling behavior and didn’t have the confidence to be honest. Even her confession of love to him was recorded on his phone. Jin Ah finally expresses her feelings openly during the confrontations with Joon Hee in Episode 16. Three years prior, she couldn’t verbalize how she felt.

So, all in all, I’m very content with the end. I think they needed time (again, not three years, though!) to be apart in order to come together and be honest with each other. I’m glad they are together and are able to move forward as adults in a relationship that’s more healthy than when they met three years ago.

Still one of my top ten shows.

kdrama ost: Pretty Noona Who Buys Me Food