The premise is that Pluto (the ruler of Scorpio) represents death and rebirth, the Underworld, what is dark, mysterious, yet addictive. In a sense Pluto represents death as the Tarot card Major arcana Death (XIII) that deals with change of a permanent nature, where things change, never to be same again, thus powerful fated transformations.

So, what happens when such a powerful energy is located or transits our 7th house of relationships or the 8th house of intimacy and hidden facets of ourselves?

Well, let’s start with the 7th house, traditionally the realm of Libra, ruled by beautiful Venus. What happens when dark Pluto steps in? We get Persephone being kidnapped by Hades? In a sense yes, although we would much rather associate Persephone with spring and abundance of an earthly nature so maybe more 2nd house energy? In any case, what we find is love afflicted by toxicity. Not pure innocent love (like 5th house) but romantic, marriage material love struck by additions, jealousy, obsession.

The simple example is starting a relationship or even marrying a person with obsessive tendencies. And this may manifest in many ways from addiction to video games to jealousy, and abuse. You know the hot guy that is kinda rough around the edges but he is different with you? He treats you so much better and you feel like the Beauty with the Beast? Well, that’s the poster boy for this transit. However, in the long run, you’re gonna find that he doesn’t treat you all that well either.

Pluto in 7th house can be a red flag for abusive relationships but in a deeper way, it is when the obsession in others reflects our own obsessions. We observe our partner being overly jealous and we think oh, I can give in to my obsessive behaviour too and try to control what he does, who he meets, because if I allow you your obsession, you must allow mine (Libra balance energy). And there it is, the back-and-forth Pluto-afflicted love. But why do we allow it, you ask? At the end of the day the love gets sour, the passion holds true for a while but the overall dynamic becomes ultimately exhausting.

It is the case that we believe that the person is powerful in some way or another, maybe they have a set of skills that we think we could never master, maybe they have money, street smarts, whatever is appealing to us, and we cannot seem to possess. At the same time, their jealousy, their obsession with us gives us a sense of power, a sense of power over the other, and possessive behaviour. Speaking of which, possessiveness is the key word for Pluto in 7th house.  So, how do we defeat the obsession that links us to another? We must take a good look at their power or what we perceive as such, and we should hold up a big mirror to ourselves. What is it in us that finds them so attractive and what is it in them that brings out the worst in us?

When we stop believing that their obsessive behavior indicates some sense of power within us and we start seeing them with compassion for the insecurity, the lack of control in the face of addictions we then realize that love is not supposed to be a power exchange game, and that is when we have completed the lesson of this transit. Since I do not have this in my natal chart, I can only assume when saying that this is a recurrent pattern in relationships when it is located in the natal chart. It is hard to find the love in the darkness of our own insecurities.

Dear Pluto,

In 2008 when you first entered the sign of Capricorn (structure, responsibility) I had no idea that planets were regularly entering signs at all. I knew I was a Leo, but not that it was my Sun sign. I picked up an astrology book once in the late 90’s and thought, “Ew, this is too hard.” I even looked up my chart once in 2001 and STILL didn’t understand a damn thing. Didn’t even try. I had no idea what a fucking transit was. I was just out in the wild driving my SATURN with no clue what was coming.

You rolled into my 5th House of love, creativity, and pleasure while the foundation of my 4th house of home, family, stability was on shaky ground. I was at the end of an almost 8 year relationship that I was afraid to end. I wanted it to end you see, but I was stuck. Back then, I always doubted myself about everything. Had I tried hard enough to make this work? After all, I have always heard that relationships take work. And I am no stranger to hard work, but maybe I didn’t try hard enough, I would say. But I was the only one in the relationship trying, and I would realize that soon enough. Little did I know you were there waiting to expose the cracks and uncover the truth.

Then one day, over 7 years in, he told me I was doing something in bed wrong and that I always had been. He said it with such disgust, told me to watch a documentary to get some tips. I was shocked. I wasn’t shy when it came to sex. I communicated, I checked in, and I was open to feedback. That all sounds very unsexy but what I’m trying to say is that this should have come up before. We had (mostly) had a great sex life. The only thing killing it at this point was that I despised him. He made it so easy. He wasn’t the person he used to be. And this claim of his? It was the beginning of the end.

And for the record when it ended he was the one always looking back and trying to chase the memory of something he used to have that he never really appreciated until it was gone.

But Pluto, there is so much you’ve forced me to acknowledge since that fateful conversation. I know your whole vibe is to tear things down that aren't working to force something better to be built, but I didn't know you then. I was scared. I refused to accept what was happening, and you dragged me to hell anyway until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to accept it all. I watched as my loves, friends, and even my job disintegrated. (Thank you for leaving my family) 

I know your whole vibe is to tear things down that aren't working to force something better to be built, but I didn't know you then. I was scared.

Do you remember what you said to me? “Just you. Don’t hide behind anything or anyone.” You forced me to sit with myself.

“I don’t want to be alone. I have to be in love again.” I said

“Well, I hope that you are one day,” you said, but remember, “You have to be okay even if you never have that again.” 

“That sounds like a nightmare,” I said, soaking that in. My god, was it possible that was true?

As I brought myself back from the edge, I kept whispering, “Just me. I have to be enough for me forever. I am my home.” This didn’t mean I was never going to try to love again, but it also meant I was committed to finding my life worth living even if I didn’t.

The reality of this possibility shuddered through my body and made me nauseous. “I don’t want to think about this.”

“Keep looking,” you said

I said it over and over—you have to be okay no matter what happens. You will enjoy life even if you sit alone in your apartment in your 70s watching The Office and eating dinner on a TV tray. You are your home, and you will always be okay because you have you.

But dear Pluto, I am still afraid so often. Especially when I look into the entryway of this new hellscape we appear to be entering. One I have no control over. And I know you want me to surrender and be brave. You helped me to be brave before. But am I still enough? Everyone is talking so much right now about building community in the future and relying on that as you move into Aquarius. You helped me get through some huge shifts in the past but this time I know who’s here with me in the dark talking me through it. And I hope that will make it easier my friend. I know I can stand on my own, but maybe this time I don’t have to.

Love,