Okay so we watched Troy on thursday in classical civ because it was our last classical civ lesson of the term and here are my thoughts so far:
This is Achilles PLATONIC HETEROSEXUAL STRAIGHT COUSIN WHO HE IS COUSINS WITH THEY ARE COUSINS AND ALSO STRAIGHT
Where is Cassandra?? Where is my girl Cassandra???
What Are they wearing
no seriously tho
Do you think the writers have ever like. seen a picture of an ancient greek person
PLATONIC COUSIN
Briseis deserves better.
Thereâs only like four people I like in this film and itâs Odysseus, Ajax, Briseis, and Hector
Also Briseis and Achilles falling in love makes me uncomfortable. Donât Like That
Also the scene where Ajax is trying to get to land quicker and just. Yeets a sailor off his seat and starts rowing in his place was straight up hilarious
The bit at the start where Achilles kills the other armyâs main guy was like. Not that impressive??? Like sure he killed him with only one stab but also. He wouldnât have been able to do that if the guy was wearing chest armour. Like I donât mean to victim blame but itâs a war put your tits away
ACHILLESâ STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUAL COUSIN
Ok but seriously the design for the entire thing was just. Atrocious. Like they Did Not Understand The Assignment
Troy also has the flaw that the Odyssey has; it fails to realise that in order for us to root for our protagonist, our protagonist must be likeable
Ok but this film has done more to make me like Odysseus than the Odyssey ever has
Also Iâve already said this but I cannot convey how shitty the fits are in this film. Like. Theyâre atrocious Iâm sorry
The film can be quite funny at times?? Not on purpose though. Well I think one time where this kid is like âI wouldnât want to fight a guy that bigâ and Achilles is like âThatâs why youâre forgettableâ
No but Seriously what are they wearing
















