#plus!size reader

John Carter doesn't mess around about several things: his job, his Gamma, several of his coworkers, and, for the last six months, you. It's not like Carter was looking for anything. Actually, it was quite the opposite. After a particularly interesting string of women who had ended up as meaningless flings instead of romantic partners, Carol had suggested that he take some time for himself.

So one Saturday morning, he found himself wandering into a branch of the Chicago Public Library. He picked up a few books and made himself comfortable in a cozy seating area near the circulation desk and near you, the pretty librarian. The pretty librarian, who is smart, funny, kind, and gives excellent recommendations. The pretty librarian who, when Carter gets called in on Saturday or oversleeps, or forgets to call to renew the latest medical journal, will just go ahead and do it for him (even though he would pay the overdue fine, no questions asked, especially if it was you taking the payment).

In taking time for himself, he just happened to get to know you. On especially slow mornings, you two could often be found chatting about anything and everything. Carter thought it was obvious that he had a crush on you, but you didn't see that. Why would you? Why would the tall, lanky, hot, funny doctor working at County General be interested in you? You are fat and no matter how pretty, smart, funny, interesting, kind, put together you are, in your experience, men like John Carter didn't crush on you. They are nice and polite to your face at the very best. You didn't want to think about the very worst.

It took you aback, on that chilly fall Saturday, as you were saying goodbye to your coworkers, he stopped you, all nervous and flustered.

"I am sure you are probably busy, and this is probably a long shot cause I would be stupid to think you are single, but if you aren't and not in a hurry, maybe you would want to join me for lunch today, or or or we could plan something for tomorrow or even next weekend if you would rather? I just really like you and I would be stupid not to try to take you out." He wrung his hands before running them over the upper part of his jeans. You had never seen Carter like this - all nervous energy oozing out of him.

"This is very sweet, John, but you don't have to do this." His big doe eyes looked confused. It was endearing.

"Do what?"

"Pretend to be interested in me, you know, like wanting to take me on a date." It was Carter's turn to be confused. Of course, he was interested in you and absolutely wanted to take you on a date. More than one if you would let him. And he would bring flowers every time he saw you because you mentioned that no one other than your family had ever brought you flowers and he would make sure that with those flowers to bring you your favorite snacks, so you never ran out and he would always be waiting to pick you up, so you didn't have to walk in the terrible cold or the blistering heat in his blue jeep that you that off handedly mentioned you thought was a really pretty color.

"I am not pretending. Really, truly honest to god, I have been working up the courage to ask you out since you smiled and said hi to me the first time I was in here." Now it was your turn to ooze nervous energy. You shifted your purse from one shoulder to the other and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to shrink out of his sincere stare.

"Seriously, if you don't believe me, I can call at least seven of my coworkers who will verify that I don't stop talking about you; how smart, funny, pretty, kind, intell-"

"Okay, John." Your coworkers softly giggled behind you. Carter's heart was racing at a thousand miles a minute. "There is a diner around the corner that has an amazing soup and sandwich special on Saturdays, so you are lucky I'm willing to share my secret spot with you." You let your shoulder brush his as you gently push past him toward the main doors.  Quickly, he spun on his heels, rushing to catch up to you, only to almost trip on a corner of a pretty rug near another cozy sitting area. He felt like a stray dog getting the chance to be taken in. He would follow you to the end of the earth, which, if that would impress you enough for a second date, then so be it.

"Can I ask something?" he sputtered while opening the passenger door of his pretty blue jeep.

"Of course." This was it. The moment when he got you away from people to finally do or say something shitty. You braced yourself.

"My family really only calls me John. Please call me Carter." Sheepishly, he looked down at his shoes and the concrete beneath them. John sounds like music leaving your lips. He had wondered what Carter would sound like.

You let a deep breath you hadn't realized you had been holding out.

"That isn't a problem, Carter." His heart melted right out of his chest. How are you single? How is he this lucky? How is he going to survive your first date?

Survive he did; both of you did. Six months of regular Saturday dates, surprise flowers, showing up at the hospital with fresh-baked cookies (and a packed meal for Carter so he would actually be able to eat real food), late-night phone calls when you two couldn't meet up after a long shift, and lots of conversations.

Carter, not wanting to scare you, was open about his addiction, his recovery, and how that often impacted people's opinion of him. No matter what he told you, he was still your sweet, sweet boyfriend; your lovey.  You spoke about your journey with your body. How growing up a fat kid, then a fat teen, and now a fat adult really screws with a person. How you sometimes still wonder how he can be at all attracted to you? How can he be oblivious to the looks and remarks people make about your relationship? But even with all that, you loved your body, and all that it had, would, and could do for you. Being fat didn't make you any less hot (your mantra). Carter, absolutely smitten and trying to be worthy of you, started paying extra attention.

You and Carter had a hot date at The Field Museum- some fundraiser thing his Gamma had been invited to for making a sizeable donation. She thought it would be nice for John to take you and go in her stead. You got gussied up; hair pinned up strategically in a sexy, messy, but appropriate way. Make-up done, classy and a tad smoky. The dress was a splurge. It was a secret you had been keeping from Carter. Long, black mermaid, with faux ostrich feather detailing around the bust and skirt bottom. You found some high-quality costume jewelry (second-hand) that brought the whole look together. Your very sweet friend, who had helped you get ready, promised you that "Carter is going to cream his pants when he sees you!" Unfortunately, you had to meet at the hospital.

Carter hadn't wanted to meet at the hospital. He had wanted to get ready together; be able to watch as you got ready, help zip your dress so he could pull you into him by your hips, allowing him to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your perfume. He wanted to help you with your necklace, especially so he could place gentle kisses on your shoulder and neck.

Instead, he was called in, promised he would be out on time, and could use the on-call room to get ready. Gamma was sending a car to your place and then stopping at County General to pick him up. He told Carol that you would be coming in and to let him know when you arrived. Fingers crossed, praying to the hospital gods that all went according to plan, because you deserved a very nice night out.

Surprisingly, you were feeling good - sexy even! Couldn't wait to show Carter. You hadn't had many reasons to get all gussied up like this ever really. The driver pulled up to let you out, saying he would be right there, waiting for you and Dr. Carter.

"What did Carter do to deserve you?" Carol looked stunned. You were hoping to elicit a similar reaction from Carter.

"It isn't too much?"

"Oh no! I am telling Carter that he needs to start finding more reasons for you to look this fancy."

"She looks like something." You heard it from somewhere around the hub but couldn't pinpoint the voice.

"The car is out front. Carter told me to pop in," You looked around, "Is he ready?" Carol mentioned that he was wrapping up in the on-call room and she would let him know you were here.

"A car brought her? More like a boat for a whale. Didn't know they made dresses big enough." You hear the voice again. The hub had cleared out a bit, but you couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

You caught your reflection in the glass of one of the rooms. You had thought you looked good, but now you weren't sure.  You were noticing the slight stretch marks on the top of your breasts, extra noticeable with your cleavage all pushed up. It wasn't cold by any means and a shawl wouldn't go with this dress, but the pudge of your arms was extra noticeable. You had decided on shapewear (as uncomfortable as it was), but you still saw your belly, hips, thighs, ass...

"Surprised she is with Dr. Carter."

"Right? He normally goes for babes and smoke shows."

"Probably a pity date."

You spun and caught them. Two med students are sitting, charting, huddled together. They made eye contact with you and began laughing. One quietly mooed, causing them to laugh hard. Tears formed in your waterline. You felt stupid, silly, and embarrassed. How could you have possibly thought this was a good idea? Putting yourself out there like this? Trusting Carter? Trusting that if he saw you as worthy of his time, attention, and love, others would too. You started walking away, toward the door. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could call a cab, be home in your pjs, and curled up in bed in just a few minutes.

"Hey! Hey, wait!" Carol came up next to you.

"Carter is just finishing his hair and he will be - oh no, what happened?"

"Nothing, nothing happened. I just - I umm - I am going to go home. Tell Carter to enjoy his night and that I am sorry."

"Would you look at that. Cow got cold feet." You heard them. Carol heard them. It was written on her face. No denying it.

"Is it them?"

"Carol, really, I a-"

"Sorry! I am so sorry. I was having trouble with my cuff links, and then my hair wasn't lying right." Carter came bounding over. Handsome as ever. Black suit, white shirt, silver cuff links to match your jewelry, and the pretty bowtie you picked out for him. He looked like a movie star.

"What's wrong, pretty lady?" He was confused and sincere. Unsure what had transpired since you had gotten here. This was supposed to be a good night, a fun night, a romantic night. Had he already screwed it up so badly to make you cry?

"Carter, the interns ju-"

"I am just not feeling the best, Carter," Carter, not lovey, not honey, or baby, or sweetheart. His heart broke. Whatever was wrong, he could fix it; would fix it.

"Okay, we can go back to my place and I can take care of you. Nurse you back to health with cuddles, kisses, and soup."

"Carter, I really think you should -" Carol tried to rat out those two men. Again overlooked.

"No, John," he winced. You hadn't called him that since your first date, "I am not ruining your good time like I have ruined your image. Go. Go enjoy yourself. I will just bring the evening down."

"Oh, for the love of god," Carol was not going to be ignored this time.  "The two interns made a horrible comment about her. From what I can tell, probably a few." She grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. A sob racked through your body.

"My makeup is probably ruined." Carol pulled you in for a hug, promising that it wasn't, it could be fixed, and she would help fix it if you promised to go with Carter.

"Honey, we don't have to go, but what did they say?" Carol stepped back so Carter could step closer. He had been paying attention for a while now, picking up more on the comments, the looks, the reaction people had to you; to both of you together.

You spilled the beans to both of them about what the two had said.

"You look beautiful, honey. You're a vision! I mean, you always look beautiful, but I really need to find more excuses to get you all dolled up."

Carol made eye contact with you, an I told you so, acknowledging her earlier statement. You gave a little laugh.

"You are hot! A babe, a bombshell, a smoke show, a total hottie. My hottie." Carter kissed the top of your head, being gentle to not disrupt the perfection that was your updo.

"As for you two," Carter yelled, pulling away.

"Don't worry, lovey," you tried to grab his hand as he walked past.

"No, this is important. Hot shots," the ER froze watching his every move, except the two interns in their own little world, snickering to themselves, totally unaware of what was about to be unleashed on them.

You watched as Carter grabbed a file and whacked the two young men in one swift motion.

"Oh, he is mad mad," Carol whispered to you.

"I have never seen him mad mad." You whispered back.

"You don't want to be on the receiving end."

"No, but I wouldn't mind witnessing it a little more." A blush crept across your cheeks, down your neck, and onto your chest. Angry Carter was kind of hot.

"Dirty bird." Carol giggled. You gave a gentle nudge to her. Two ouches echoed out.

"What the - Dr. Carter."

"What makes you think you can disrespect my girlfriend?" Crickets.

"Oh, so you two have no problem running your mouths, insulting the woman I love, but don't have the gall to say it to me? Is this a habit we need to be concerned about with you two? Bullying? If staff have to worry about your questionable behavior toward a doctor's girlfriend, there is no world in which we should let you anywhere near patients.

"No, sir." One sputtered.

"Our bedside manner with patients is much better." The other one added.

"Doubt it. I really fucking doubt it. For the remainder of your time here, you don't speak unless spoken to, unless it is utterly necessary. If I hear anything that isn't work-related or could be misconstrued as anything other than professional, I will make sure you never work in the medical field. Understood?"

They barely squeak out a 'yes' before Carter takes off again.

"That woman whom you insulted is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time! She is so much more than her physical appearance. I am sorry you will be missing out on those things, because if you ever look at her, talk to her, or breathe in her direction, I will make your lives a nightmare."

"Is it weird that I find him trying to threaten them in a professional manner cute?" Carol bites her lip to hold in a laugh.

"I am sorry that you two are so shallow, so childish that you can't appreciate the different forms of women's bodies. She is beautiful and incredibly sexy. If being obsessed with her "ruins" whatever image you two built in your heads about the kind of women I pursue, that is your fault. Sutures and bedpan duty for the rest of the night."

"Are you finished, Carter?"  Benton asks as he comes out of an exam room, arms crossed, presence looming.

"Yes, I am, and I will face any consequence you want give me."

"You and I will talk about this. I would hate for you to keep your beautiful girlfriend waiting any longer," the Carter gives a nod and quick turn on his heels. Benton smiles, giving a wink at you. You give a little smile back.

"As for you two, we need to discuss disciplinary action and professionalism. Come with me."

Carol quickly gives you a once-over and tells you that your makeup isn't ruined. A little touch-up powder under your eyes will do the trick. She gives Carter's arm a squeeze as she walks away. Carter takes both your hands, bringing them up to his lips, and placing sweet kisses on the back of them. He gently lets your left hand go, then raises your right hand for a twirl. Happily, you oblige.

Carter takes this moment to drink you in. The curve hugs your belly, and your butt makes his mouth water. He can picture the swing of your hips in this dress, and he nearly melts at the thought. With fluff at the top, only drawing more attention to your chest, he knows he will have to do the majority of his staring at them in the privacy of the car. He already has self-control issues around you. This outfit doesn't help. If he could, he would take you in the back of the car, but he doesn't want to further disrupt the effort you put in (on the way back to his place tonight is another story).

He pulls you close to his side, your hand wrapped securely around his bicep, leading out to the still waiting car. He opens the door like a gentleman, making sure everything and everyone is in their proper places before stepping inside. Once he is settled, you scooch into his side, taking his right hand into both of yours, giving you access to play with his steady hand.

"Lovey."

"Yes, sweetheart?" His eyes meet yours; you melt.

"No one has ever stood up for me like. You didn't have to do that. I am sorry if you get in trouble on Monday, but I want you to know that I really appreciate it. Truly."

"I am sorry that I am the first person to do this for you. I will always do it for you." He rests his cheek on your head, breathing in the scent of your shampoo mixed with hairspray. His heart aches that no one has stood up for you. You deserve better from people. Carter silently vows to change that for you because you deserve to be loved openly and honestly, and he doesn't mess around with the ones he loves.

I don't think that this is my best work but I hope you all enjoy it. I want to get into smut but the fluff has been hitting in the honey-nut feelios real hard recently

As always cuties, I adore you all! This is an orginal work. It has been several years since I have really written like this so thanks for sticking with me.

“Yeah, I know.” Your voice was quiet, thick with the lump in your throat. 

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” She laughed again. “I’ll catch you later, okay? I hope you feel better soon.”

“Hopefully.” You smiled tight-lipped. “Talk to you later.” You didn’t wait for her to respond before you hung up, setting your phone down on the desk. You looked up into the mirror on the wall, seeing Remus looking at you severely. You blinked hard, shaking your head before looking down at the desk and pretending to organize something. 

“How was work?” You asked, fake chipper. 

“Come here.” He ignored your question, patting the bed beside him. He snuffed his cigarette out, only half smoked, and covered the ash tray with a lid.

You inhaled deep and stood up, shamefacedly walking over to him. He reached for you the moment you were at arms-length, tugging you to sit when you didn’t of your own accord. He sighed and you grimaced, face burning again. You thought you could cry. 

“Are you gonna look at me, dovey?” He sounded painfully gentle. You forced yourself to meet his eyes, a fake smile 

“How was your day?” You tried again, hoping it would stick this time. 

“Don’t do that.” He shifted to sit more upright, grabbing your hand in both of his. You tried to look clueless, but it clearly wasn't sticking. He sighed again. “Look, okay. I’m not going to jump around this conversation.” You looked down again. “I just-” He sounded pained, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to respond. 

You hated that he had heard your conversation. Partially because he tended to be a bit critical of your friends, even if he didn’t express it. Remus was overly protective in nature, baring his teeth whenever he perceived someone as a threat to his loved ones. The larger insecurity though, was his possible agreement with your friend's statements. You knew your friend wasn’t always wrong in her observations, but it still hurt nonetheless. You also knew you were sensitive, but the things she said still felt slightly, cruel, for a lack of a better word. 

“No it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” If there was any other sound in the room it would’ve overtaken your voice. You felt him stiffen slightly before turning to face you more. 

“It would seem that I do.” If he was about to reprimand you, he didn't have to sound so gentle. “I never want to come between you and your friends, you know I think it’s important to have your own people you talk to, and all that matters is that you like them. But I- I can’t help but comment now.” His thumb was rubbing gently into the inside of your wrist, feeling the veins there. “I don’t think the way she talks to you is very kind or… healthy. And I know that you say I can be a bit… overprotective.” He said the word like it was poison. “But I just... really don’t like it.” 

“She’s just trying to help.” You weren’t sure why you were defending the friend who seemed so determined to slice your self confidence. 

“There’s helping, and then there’s being rude.” He couldn’t keep the ire from his tone. 

“It’s not rude if it’s correct.” You said, barely above a whisper. You squeezed your eyes shut in a pitiful attempt to not cry.

“It’s not correct though.” He sounded angry now, you cowered in on yourself. “Do you really think that meanly about yourself, lovely girl?” He ducked his head to try to meet your eyes, but you wouldn’t let him. 

“I’m not thinking any way about myself.” You argued. “I’m just thinking honestly.” You looked up at him. He looked like he was in pain himself. 

“No.” He said firmly. “You’re not going to entertain that anymore. She’s fucking wrong, okay? The way she talks down to you isn’t okay. You’re perfect.” You shook your head. He hooked a finger under your chin, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his fierce ones. “You’re perfect, dovey. I don’t give a shit what size you are or what any asshole thinks of it. The only thing I care about is you being happy and you knowing how fucking stunning I find you.” You tried to look down again but he didn’t let you. “Are we clear?” 

“Yes.” You said quietly. He nodded, settling down for the moment. Though you know that he will be extra insistent with his affection and compliments for the foreseeable future. 

“Alright. Enough of that.” He let his hand fall to your shoulder, then down to your waist. You winced as he felt the curving flesh of your side, but he didn’t stop. “C’mere, baby dove.” He pulled you into his lap before you could stop him. 

“I’m gonna crush you.” You said flatly. 

At first it was just the way you smiled, it seemed like you had no interest in do such and it was laced with sadness. Kaz could see the look in your eyes at all times, they held such a small feeling inside them. Then it was when you went out with the crew you ordered nothing, or when you did you never finished a plate. “I’m full.” You charmed up and pushed the leftovers to Nina each time.

When your arms would wrap themselves around your belly and got a pout on your lips when you thought no one was looking. Kaz knew what it was like to be a outsider in his own body, he hated things about his body too. But you never made him feel guilty about the lack of touch he could make, instead you made him feel comfortable. Each day and second you were by his side to help him face himself, holding his hand literally and metaphorically.

Kaz knew you and he hated the demons you had to face, if he could he’d bash their heads in but, he had to take different methods. Just like him, the demons whispered things to you, about your body, about your worth. Kaz never understood why you didn’t listen to him when he worshipped you. Kaz was a man at heart and he was always staring at your curves, the squishy stomach underneath your dress and when it was night he would see the thighs.

He tried to let you know subtly that he was there, like wrapping a hand around your waist to show he liked to hold you. Then kissed your head softly and whisper how beautiful you were, then to your lips and held you close. You’d smile and thank him but inside you felt like he was lying. Everytime he touched you the demons told you he hated the feeling, that he was lying. You knew kaz was never the one to play games like this, if he wanted to he could leave you easily if he didn’t want you. But stayed, held you in his arms each night.

“I hate you.” You whisper to the woman in front of you in the mirror, tears falling from your cheeks as you roamed hands down your body. How could he sleep next to this every night? Why did he settle for you out of everyone else? He could have Inej, the beautiful wrath who was thin, why couldn’t you be more like her?

The silk gown draped down your body, was this what he saw every night? The gown was hanging off your body and it showed your stomach and each detail in full. “Ugly.” Another insult came from you. Whipping off your cheeks and grabbed a coat, you needed to leave before kaz got back. You couldn’t stay, it was too much to have him see you like this.

Each time he laid his eyes on you, half of you felt comfort but the other half just screamed at you. You grabbed your bag and got all the things you had lying around and huffed out in frustration. You were sad, angry at yourself for feeling this way. A figure lingered on the door frame and watches you with half laid eyes. It pained his heart more then ever. He could see the sight of you crying, packing a bag to go somewhere else.

“Put the bag down.” He spoke but no anger in his voice. Jumping around and stare at him wide eyed, the look of fear one your face tugged his heart strings. “I was just going for a walk, I need some air.” You mumbled like a defense. He raised a brow and walked into his room and closed the door behind him. You had no idea why his presence was so calm, or why it was scaring you.

“We need to talk.” He took of his coat and threw it over the chair, and he began to take off his vest. Your heart dropped and you clinched the fabric of silk into your hands. You knew what was going to happen next, it was over between the two of you. He couldn’t take the sight of you anymore, he couldn’t force himself to touch you anymore- You were too much for him.

A sob left your lips and your body trimmed as you fell to your knees covering your mouth. Kaz spun around as soon as the noise hit his ears, his eyes frowned and his heart stopped. He limped over to you but it froze when you moved back, “Don’t.” You chocked out the words.

“Darling, it’s okay. Just let me-” you cut him off by shouting, “Don’t look at me.” Lifting your head to him and your outbursts it surprised him. He wanted nothing more then to hold you close and calm you down, but you didn’t seem to want that at the moment. He didn’t give up, so he leaned down and sat on the floor, even if his body hurt doing so. He was going to take his time with you, he needed to be careful.

Taking a deep breath and relaxed his face. “Tell me what’s bothering you, I will listen. And I’ll close my eyes as you speak.” He flutter his eyes closed and put his gloves hands together in his lap. The kindness he was showing you made you more emotional. You sobbed out again and tried to calm yourself to let him in, tying to make the thoughts came to a stop.

He waited for you and patiently for when you were ready to talk to him. It was silent except for your cries and breaths. Finally you knew that you could tell him, you had to tell him your worries. He confided in you all those times and the least you could do was tell him the truth. Even if it ate you up inside.

“I hate my body.” You started and looked down at your lap. “I hate when you look at me because I know you can see me, I just feel like I’m not worthy of your love. I found myself ugly, too big-” you broke again and closed your eyes shut. “How could you love me?” You slammed your hands on the floor. “Why do you force yourself to love me?” Your voice went soft and raspy, closing itself again as you cried again.

Kaz opened his eyes at the least part, he heard and saw the blackness that once wrapped itself around him. “Y/n.” He called out your name and inched closer to see if you would move. He wasn’t even sure if you noticed or heard him, or if you lost yourself in that moment. So when he got next to you he placed a hand on your shoulder, a small touch.

You didn’t push him away. “Come here.” He pulled you close and into his chest, he closed his own eyes as he patted your head. Kaz wasn’t always good at words, in fact the emotional made him sometimes close off. But he knew he couldn’t turn away, not this time. You needed him and he was going to pull you out the the state you were in.

“I don’t force myself to love you, the feeling is on it’s own. The moment you first smiled at me that’s all I knew of, that I love you.” He leaned down and placed lips to your skin. “All of you.” Pulling your face away from his chest with his hands he moved the tears off your cheek. Wet eyes and eyelashes, the sorrow look in your eyes made his insides melt.

“You are perfect. When I look at you all I want to do is worship you. I don’t believe in saints but if they did happen to live,” He smiled softly. “They had a helping hand in making you.” You sniffed and placed your hands on his chest and on his button up shirt.

“I know you don’t see yourself like I do, and that’s okay. I’m here to make you see that you need to be comfortable in your own skin.” You smiled at him. “Promise?” You asked. He nodded and locked his hands with yours. “I will be there every step of the way. I will kiss your skin, I’ll carve it into your head.” His head leaned down closer to your face.

“Will you let me show you how beautiful you are?” You stared at him a little shocked and shyly. “Will you let me help you?” His lips hover over yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath. Nodding your head you gave him permission, he smirked and pulled you closer.

“ALPHA!” Steve happily makes his way toward you to wrap you in a hug. He tries to bury his face in your neck to inhale your scent, but you step away to place your bag on the ground and remove your coat. “How was your day? Did you get the promotion?”

“I already asked our alpha how their day was,” the brunette complains. He whines as Steve had the chance to scent you first. Bucky was antsy to show you the new table he built for your dining room and now, it seems that you ignore him.

“It was a long day,” you step toward Bucky to pat his chest. “My boss said he’ll tell me about their decision at the end of the week. I have a good chance to get the promotion, though.”

“You’ll get it, Y/N,” Bucky tries to scent you again, but you turn to walk toward the bedroom. “Alpha…”

“I’ll be right back. We can talk later,” making your way inside the bedroom, you yawn. You’re just too tired. “Just give me a minute.”

“Oh-okay,” the brunette sighs. He walks back toward the kitchen to check on the food he prepared for dinner. “Dinner will be ready soon, alpha.”

“Alpha,” Steve whines low in his throat. He wanted to show you the new picture he drew of you and Bucky. Now he doesn’t know if you even want to see it.

“Fuck, that’s good,” you enjoy the warm water, and the scented candles you lit. Your omegas bought them for you. Closing your eyes, you moan.

The warm water relaxes your sore muscles, and you are sure, you’ll be in a better mood when you leave the bathroom.

“Do you think alpha will like the food?” Bucky looks at the plates he placed on the table. Steve is busy lighting the candles as Bucky tries to hide he’s unsure about his place in your relationship at the moment.

“She will love it, Buck. You know how hungry our alpha gets after a hard day at work,” Steve sighs deeply. “I just hope she will like the dessert I made.”

“She’ll love it,” nodding to himself Bucky tries to assure Steve, and himself, that you love them. That you only had a bad day…

“How’s the food?” Bucky watches you poke the food he cooked for hours with your fork. You don’t feel well but try to at least eat a few bites. You know Bucky cooked all day and went for a grocery run only for you.

“Very good,” forcing a smile on your lips, you look at Bucky. He looks sad, but you’re a little dizzy, and so tired. Tonight, you are an awful alpha, and you know it.

“Bucky made it with love, only for you,” Steve scoots a little closer to nuzzle his nose in your hair. He purrs low in his throat, as Bucky mirrors his behavior. The brunette buries his face in your neck to inhale your scent deeply.

“Okay, that is enough,” you grumble. It’s hard to focus when your omegas try to get your attention. They are extra needy lately, clingy even. “I need some me-time. The food was good but I need sleep and all…”

“Alpha,” Bucky whimpers. His lower lip wobbles as you get up from the chair and leave your omegas in the dining room.

“Alpha,” Steve sniffles. He had hoped you’ll praise him for the dessert he made. And now, you didn’t even try it. “Bucky…”

“Stevie,” they get up from their chairs to soothe each other. Your omegas hug and try to scent each other. It’s not the same as scenting you, but I’ll do…for now.

“What if she doesn’t love us anymore?” Steve whispers.

“What if she never loved us?” Bucky sniffles. “I-I can’t Steve. I can’t lose her too. What if alpha rejects us?”

“Maybe we were bad omegas?” the blonde whispers. “What if we are not good enough for alpha?”

Over the next few days, you pulled away from your omegas. You’re stressed as you didn’t get the promotion. On top of all, you still feel sick, and their constant attention overwhelms you.

In the past, most of the men you met never showed interest.

Being a female alpha is not easy. Being a plus-sized female alpha is even worse.

“Alpha?” Steve and Bucky whine in front of your door once again. You locked yourself into your office to work in silence. Now your omegas whine for your attention and you cannot focus.

“I need to work, omegas,” you rub your tired eyes. “I’ll be there for you when I got more time. Just let me work. Maybe next time I’ll get the promotion.”

You can’t see the sad look in your omegas' eyes as they look at each other. That night, you will sleep at your office, too tired to go back to your shared bedroom.

Your omegas whine and whimper while holding each other in their arms.

Slowly they lost hope. If you don’t want them anymore. Where shall they go?

Who will love them? Who will make them feel like they belong in this world that isn’t theirs any longer? Only clinging to each other just isn’t enough to them...

“What a shitty day,” you plop down onto your plush sofa, huffing as silence greets you this time. “Steve? Bucky?”

“We are here,” his voice barely above a whisper Bucky walks into the living room. “I…no, we cooked. If you want some food. We will be in our rooms if you need us.”

“Bucky?” you frown as Steve only pokes his head in. “Stevie?”

“Uh-what Bucky said. We don’t want to bug you, alpha,” Steve swallows thickly as he turns to follow Bucky. They agreed on giving you time and space to think about your bond.

“Bug me…” you whisper as you must watch your omegas walk away from you. Your heart aches as you can hear them whine low in their throats. “No…fuck…”

“Bucky? Steve?” you silently open the door to Steve’s room. When you moved in together, you decided to make sure that all of you have your own room. Now your omegas are cuddling on Steve’s bed and you feel left out. “Omegas?”

“Alpha?” their heads immediately snap upward to look at you. “Y/N…alpha…”

“Why are you not in our room? I know I got home late again. Are you mad at me?”

“We thought you don’t want us anymore,” Bucky sniffles. “Stevie and I thought we should give you space. If we are not enough, please tell us so.”

“Oh my god!” whining you look at your omegas. “I-I’m just not to used to being in the middle of attention. You’re so affectionate and I got a little overwhelmed.”

“Alpha,” your omegas get up from the bed to crowd you. Bucky whimpers next to you. He needs to touch and scent you. Steve is no better. He longingly looks at you, hoping you’ll invite them to your bedroom.

“Can we go to our room?” you softly ask. “I was a terrible alpha lately. I was stressed and didn’t feel well. Please forgive me.”

“Alpha,” Bucky immediately picks you up in bridal style to run toward the bedroom with you in his arms. “My alpha.”

“Hey…wait!” Steve chases after Bucky. He doesn’t want to miss the chance to touch and scent you too…

“Much better,” you lie in the middle of your bed, watching your omegas sleep peacefully next to you. Steve lies to your left, and Bucky to your right.

You did more than scenting and cuddling. Tonight, you let your omegas take over control and worship their alpha in any way.  

Smiling you watch over them. You’re tired, but you don’t want to miss seeing your omegas so relaxed and sated. “Good night. I love you. Both of you…”

Eddie’s voice is loud, booming, you can hear him as soon as you enter the university cafeteria. Your eyes scan the room for your best friend, Juliette. She’s perched in her chair next to Eddie, her boyfriend who doesn’t attend here. He’ll leave their apartment each day to meet for lunch— and she’s looking at him like he’s hung the moon and each of the stars in the sky. Julie brings her sandwich to her lips, eating quietly as her eyes meet yours and she’s quick to shoot up from her seat, dragging her boyfriend’s attention. She waves at you, a grin on her face. “Over here!”

You wave back, smiling. You had moved back to Hawkins halfway through your senior year of high school, after having spent a majority of your highschool experience in New York City, and each day was hard to say the least. But now that you’ve graduated and gotten yourself enrolled into the same college as Julie, you’re living in Indianapolis— sharing an apartment with your best friends. You all have definitely been making the best of it. You fit right in with Julie’s friends. Last year, you made quick work on a friendship with Eddie once she had mentioned how serious things actually were with him. He waves when he sees you as well, hair bouncing over his shoulders. You pull your bag closer to your hip, beginning your trek across the cafeteria. And then you hear Michael Duncan’s voice, someone who had moved to Indianapolis from Michigan. You were in a biology class with him— thankfully whatever insult that was hurled your way is lost in the crowd, nothing more than a mutter of incoherence through the hum of hungry young adults trying to stuff themselves before they’re late for their next classes. But Eddie’s face falls for just a moment, having heard it himself. He stands to give you his seat next to Julie, deciding to sit across the table— blocking you and Julie from their view.

“We’re so glad you decided to eat here today instead of heading home.” Julie’s smiling brightly, pushing over the second sandwich she had packed. “I brought your favorite.” She’s shrugging, the way she’s smiling as Eddie talks makes you want to fall in love just like they had. Find someone that loves you for every single flaw, for every weird habit. You probably know more about Eddie now that Julie’s smitten, than Eddie would’ve ever wanted you to know. And just as he’s telling her about his campaign, there’s a ting against his lunchbox. There’s now two baby carrots sitting on your table in front of you.

“for the pig!” Michael shouts, smirk on his face followed by the most ridiculous snorting he can muster. Beside him, Donna Johnson erupts into a fit of giggles. You recognized her from Julie’s math class.

“What’s your fucking problem?” Eddie’s voice is sharp as he whips around in his seat. Julie just diverts her eyes and sighs heavily. She’s used to the torment, Eddie’s used to it too. Their entire high school experience was built around it— and Julie had hoped this would be different. And just because they’re used to it, it doesn’t mean they want you to grow comfortable in it. Hawkins never was this brutal. She’s giving your knee a loving squeeze.

“Don’t listen to them.” Julie says softly, knowing better than to stop Eddie now that he’s started. “Michael’s the worst. Doesn’t know how to shut his mouth.” She rolls her eyes and smiles as Eddie starts to quiet down, sitting back down at the table.

“Oh, it’s alright… Think Ed’s got it handled.” Your eyes gaze behind Eddie, falling on Michael’s arm thrown over Donna’s shoulder as her chair is pulled close to his. He’s talking to Steve. You— and just about every other person in this damn school— think he’s about as handsome as they come. He’s got a charm that not a single person can resist. He was from Hawkins. Eddie even laments about it How did he get accepted here? He’s laughing at something Michael says, your sights cross for just a moment as he turns his head, eating his lunch. Do you see a hint of red on his cheeks?

Steve’s got a crush, one that struck him out of nowhere. And his crush on objectively the worst person to have a crush with any indication from Michael and Donna’s teasing. He doesn’t know where it came from, he had shared so many days with you his senior year and never once was he so bent out of shape. But, once he saw you sitting in the cafeteria— school hoodie covering your chest waiting on Julie and Eddie for the first time, he’s been hooked.You’re sitting with the freak that followed his little girlfriend to the city, Munson, and his friends. His eyes meet yours quickly before he’s diverting them down to his tray. You’ve been looking at him. He smiles internally as his entire body feels hot. Michael nudges him, “What’s got you so happy?” He’s always reminded him so much of Tommy.

Steve rolls his eyes, sitting back in the chair with a content sigh. “Got that party tonight.” He shrugs. He’s planning on getting laid by whoever he’d be able to get the attention of that night. If it kept his mind off of you— he’s absolutely fine with that. Michael laughs, hand hitting the top of the table, remnants of the carrots he’d been hurling your way bouncing with a thud. Steve stands, lunch tray in his hand. He’s gotta find someway to get his mind off of you, literally on anything else. He walks past your table, looking down at you with a knowing chuckle.

You begin to feel embarrassed, like your own crush would soon be found out. Julie nudges your side, knocking you from your trance. “You’re coming with us tonight, right?” she asks softly.

“I’m sorry?” You look at her confused. Going where?

“Eddie’s got a few things to take care of tonight.” She shrugs and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Selling weed to a bunch of people at a frat party is all we’re doing. Won’t be there for more than twenty minutes.” He keeps an eye on Steve and Michael as their lunch trays are cleared. Donna is following shortly behind them. Eddie’s picking at the sleeve of his jacket. He doesn’t need them getting any closer to you right now. There’s enough you have to deal with. “Jules, you two don’t even need to go.”

“And?” Her voice is perky, smiling over at him and Eddie melts in his tracks— just shaking his head.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” You nod at the two friends in front of you. “Need to meet some more people here anyway, I suppose.” Eddie rolls his eyes and starts to speak before you cut him off, “for when you two are busy, you know? I need some more friends here in the city.”

And that’s how you end up in the back of Eddie’s van with Julie on your way to the little section of town where the fraternities have taken residency, doing your makeup in your compacts as Eddie just shakes his head. “Juliette.” His voice is stern as he parks the van along the side of the street. “We aren’t staying long, I don’t understand why you wanted to drag her out to this.”

“Because it’s a party! And we’re wanting to have fun.” Julie just rolled her eyes and held your hand tightly. “He’ll stay as long as we wanna be here.” She says to you softly, smiling. She knows she’s got her boyfriend wrapped around her finger, luckily enough for you. She wants you to meet someone, have a nice night out. It’s everything you deserve after the hard few weeks you’ve been experiencing as your transition to Indianapolis. You didn’t think it would be this difficult, you were living in New York City, for crying out loud! But the people here? They’re not like the ones in Hawkins, or even NYC for that matter. She wants you to let loose. Julie crawls out of the back of the van, using her boyfriend’s hand as leverage to propel herself out. She turns towards you with a smile on her face as Eddie lets go of her hand and holds it out for you. You take his hand, hopping down out of the van just as enthusiastically as Julie had moments before.

Julie leads you to the front door. Her hand in yours as Eddie wanders off to the fenced in side yard. “He’ll be around, always is. He’ll keep an eye on us.” Julie reassures you as you let yourselves in. Music loud enough to rumble your chests— Your peers of all ages with cups in their hands, dancing and laughing. Smiles on all of their faces.

You think about turning back, “I dunno about this, Julie.” Your voice is timid, she can’t even hear you as she pulls you forward. You trip over your feet as she does, her hand still on your arm to steady you. “Thanks.”

Julie just nods, happy to see you out for the first time. “I'll get us a few drinks, yeah? you find a spot to relax.” she says happily, squeezing your arm before she’s trotting off into the crowd. She fits in so naturally, no one even notices her. But you feel hyper aware of the space you’re taking up as you fight your way through too small spaces towards the back of the room. There’s a few benches there where you settle in, smiling at Julie as she returns two cups in her hands. “Eds is outside, we’ve got about twenty minutes before he comes looking for us.”

You're nodding, drinking your drink. It burns as you down it fully, making a face. “Jesus, what’s in this?” You exclaim, looking over at your friend who’s leg is bouncing next to yours. You follow her own eyes and see where they have fallen on Eddie through the window. You want to have someone looking at you the way she looks at Eddie. She’s in a crowded party, could pull any drunken man in here and she’s still looking at Eddie. Your head starts spinning, that little bit of alcohol pulsing through you. You need another. “I’m going to go grab another drink.” You say to Julie who just nods, not really paying attention. You begin to make your way through the crowd, staying close to the wall. Finding the kitchen, you trip again, but this time you’re falling over someone’s leg barely catching yourself on the ledge of the island counter.

“Who let the cow in?” You hear Michael’s voice, loud, sharp, hurtful. Donna’s laugh is piercing through your ears. Your eyes are scanning everywhere for Julie, for Eddie, for anyone. But you’re alone with them, the ones who’ve made your life hell for weeks. “You come with that freak?”

Your throat is dry. You can’t even make a sound. And then you see him, Steve standing against the doorway of the kitchen, sunglasses on and a smirk on his face. And he’s never been more thankful for the shades over his eyes. He really gets to look at you. The swell of your ass, thighs, hips. Your dress hugging the roll of your tummy so seductively, he might bust if he doesn’t look away. His eyes fall over your tits, perky and pushed up, the pendant from your necklace laying delicately between them. He spots the way tears are beginning to prick the corners of your eyes and he knows your exterior is starting to crumble. His eyes dart over to Michael and Donna, fucking assholes. Tommy and Carol weren’t even this bad and he couldn’t stand them now. But, like fate, he’s fallen into the wrong crowd of people yet again. Michael has that stupid fucking grin on his face.

You don’t respond as you push through the kitchen, to the stairs. You heard someone mention that there’s a bathroom up there. You could hide until the tears dissipate. And you’re lucky the door is standing wide open, letting yourself in and you kick the door shut. Letting out the breath that has kept you from crying, and the tears start to fall. There’s only so many times you can ignore the commenting. Only so many times you can avoid Michael Duncan. But you remember Steve just standing there staring at you. What was his problem? He had never said anything to you, but definitely never stopped Michael and Donna’s antics.

Steve watches as you leave the kitchen, he’s had a little too much to drink and maybe he feels sorry for the way they treat you. The way he never stands up for you. He’s got some girl named Lori talking in his ear, pointing out the red cups Donna and Michael are filling up, again. He’s excusing himself from her with an excuse to use the bathroom. He’s pushing off of the door frame while Michael and Donna are too hung up on their drinks and he slips off to the bathroom. If he doesn’t take care of the semi that’s been building since he caught a glimpse of your tits in that dress, he’ll start to explode. He opens the bathroom door, startled when he sees you leaning against the counter. Your makeup is running and he stands there instead of backing down. “Oh…” He’s quick to realize he and his friends' actions have caused this. He bites the inside of his cheek as he looks at you. “Are you okay?”

Your head whips up when you hear his voice. Steve Harrington. He’s got those sunglasses pushed up to the top of his head, holding stray stands of his hair. Brown eyes seemingly peering straight through you. “Oh… yeah, I’m fine.” You wipe tears away from your cheeks with the back of your hand, breathing out heavily. You’re focused on the way Steve is still standing in the doorway as you straighten yourself up. He’s got liquid courage coursing through his veins— and maybe he’s misinterpreting the way you’re looking at him, but he pushes the door closed as he steps into the room with you. He turns the lock. Your eyes drifting down to the click.

“I’m sorry about them.” Steve admits. “They shouldn’t treat you the way that they do.” He shrugs just that little bit, taking just two strides before he’s standing right in front of you. Your heart is starting to race, face still red and splotchy from the moment your resolve had faltered. “They’re too focused on how unhappy they are, try to make everyone else feel that way too.”

You can see the way he’s looking down at you, hungry for something. Brown eyes blown wide with liquor and lust. He searches your face for any restraint. He doesn’t want to scare you off. But when he finds nothing but interest, he closes that small space between the two of you. Your lips touch, the taste of beer and cheap vodka lingering between you. His hands are coming up to cradle your face, hips pressing flush against your front. He’s tall and lean, perfect for the basketball team, you’d bet anything that’s how he got in here anyway. His muscles are flexing in all the right places. His tongue is warm as he pries into your mouth. His thumb brushes against your cheekbone before he’s pulling away, looking down at you. You’re at a loss for words, unsure of how to even respond to his kiss. He must know how caught off guard you are, because the smile on his lips begins to grow.

His hands are still cradling your face, thumb pressed against your cheek. “This okay?” He asks softly. He can feel the way your body is pressed against him. Your tits are almost busting out of the top of your dress. You nod, the only response you can muster up for him and he kisses you again. His knee shoving your legs apart to settle right up against your fabric clad cunt. Steve’s had a crush for seemingly so long and now he’s finally getting to act on it. Michael and Donna aren’t here to make you feel any worse, he just gets to make you feel better. He’s got alcohol coursing through his veins, keeping him loose and able to not give a single shit about wanting you in the bathroom of this party. His hands are roaming your thighs. They’re grazing over the fat of your stomach before settling on your tits. Squeezing and kneading, knocking the breath right out of your chest. There’s a gasp against his lips and he’s pulling back, eyeing that little pendant that’s nestled right in the valley of your breasts. He’s careful when he lifts your leg— pressing you up against the counter. “Are you still okay?” He checks in, which you find endearing.

You just nod again, fingers twitching with want. You want to reach out and touch him, run your fingers through that hair of his. But, he’s dropping to his knees in front of you and your eyes are going wide. He presses kisses along your thigh, starting at your knee and working his way upward. He sees the way your panties are soaked. Just for him. Maybe he looks up at you for just a second. You bite your lip gently, “you don’t have to…” It’s a quiet protest, but Steve just shakes his head. Both of you know neither would be stopping anytime soon. Steve’s fingers are hooking into your panties, tugging them down your thighs. He settles your ankle on his shoulder and pushes your other leg gently. He’s spreading you open, just for him.

Your panties lay on the floor next to him as he leans in, burying his face under your dress. The counter is cold against your skin and his lips are warm when they finally make contact with your throbbing pussy. Your head tips back just a bit, no one had ever done this before.

And Steve knows it. He holds your thighs open harshly, reaches up to spread your labia as his tongue dips over all of your folds. When he finds your clit, hooking his lips over it— your body jerks just a little from surprise. His hand is leaving your thigh, to guide your hand into his hair, letting you guide him as he then submerged two of his thick fingers into your waiting cunt. His tongue swirls around your clit, working that bundle of knots in your tummy tighter and tighter and tighter. His fingers spread you wide, he adds a third.

You’re not sure if you can take it much longer. The way he’s eating you out feels heavenly— sinful more like it. You grip his hair, flashes of hot lightning running in waves over your body as you feel your orgasm start to build. You’re so close to falling over the edge when Steve’s tongue joins his fingers licking you up and down. He’s plunging it into your pussy like his life depends on it, nose brushing against the pearl of your clit. And that’s all it takes to send you over the edge, body shaking and holding Steve’s head tightly where it was. You can feel the smirk on his face as he continues to eat you out through your orgasm, doubling up once you’ve come down just a bit.

Your breathing is heavy as you hear a knock on the door. Your name comes from Julie’s gentle voice on the other side. She had heard from someone downstairs that you had been crying and she just thought for a minute she would find you and reassure you. Eddie would take you guys for milkshakes and fries and you’d go home and watch movies together on the couch or in her room while she sent Eds back to their room. Girl’s Night. Steve smiles as he stands, helping you step back into your panties and secure them under your dress after helping you off the counter. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and digs in his pocket for a little swatch of paper. “uhm… I’ve wanted to give this to you for a little while now, just didn’t know the right time.” He shrugs a bit, handing the paper over before he’s walking to the door. When he opens it, he reveals a startled Julie in the doorway, and right past her stands Eddie Munson at the top of the stairs.

Eddie’s confused voice comments, “Harrington?” The confusion stirred on when Steve isn’t even phased by Julie and Eddie catching him with their best friend.

You open the small piece of paper, seeing Steve Harrington’s home number scribbled across it. Julie blinks, turning to look at the way Steve’s hair is just a little bit disheveled as he nods at Eddie, bouncing down the stairs. You begin to feel hot in your cheeks, embarrassment flooding your body. Julie takes in your breathing pattern and your smudged lipstick and just smiles knowingly. “You wanna go to Steve’s party next weekend?”

As the three of you descend the stairs, Steve’s standing with Michael and Donna again— and he lifts his sunglasses just to wink at you before you close the front door. Steve Harrington liked you and you were okay with that. Especially when you’ve deduced that the King of Hawkins High is definitely still King Steve, but he isn't a selfish lover.