#plp2016b

He squeezed his hand, leading Dan to give him a lazy smile.

Phil's heather grey sweatshirt sleeves were slightly too long and had been endearingly cuffed to not interfere in hand holding.

"You know," Dan murmured, teasing already evident in his tone. "If you were a much more romantic boyfriend, right now, we'd be in the bed of a pickup truck filled with rose petals." He finished his musings with a grin.

Phil laughed, a twinkling sound. Dan always thought that Phil's laugh reminded him of bells. He'd always heard laughter to be described as such, but never thought he'd say something so sappy himself.

"Oh? Is that so? Where are we going to get that?" He joked with a poke to Dan's side.

"You'd find a way. I also think, that if you were a much more romantic boyfriend that we'd be in the middle of a starry desert." Dan continued.

"Oh, shut up. You're lucky we have anyplace to come stargaze. If it wasn't for Melanie working as a waitress during the night shift, we'd get kicked out in a heartbeat because they'd figure we're doing gross things." He pointed out with a chuckle. "Come on." Phil added, voice going softer, deepening.

Phil grabbed the two cups of coffee he'd bought from the diner so Melanie's manager wouldn't yell at her then left his side of the car. After this he opened the car door for Dan. This, of course, prompted an eye roll and a tease of, "Wow, what a gentleman."

The two laid on top of the hood of the dented, scratched up cobalt blue Ford.

Dan hesitantly reached for Phil's hand, his heart still fluttering when their hands met. He turned to look into his eyes and felt his body flare into what felt like television static. Dan swore he could uncover the secrets of life itself in Phil's eyes. He'd never felt this way about anybody before, and honestly, he couldn't say that it didn't scare him. Dan knew that he was far too gone in his eyes to ever pull away, but he knew that, eventually their relationship would fade away in the same way summer did. Dan squeezed his eyes shut.

"Tell me about the stars. You know tons of shit about the stars. You know all the constellations and stuff nobody should remember." Dan laughed, trying to regain the composure he'd momentarily lost.

"Well, that one-" Phil directed his attention to a particularly bright, white star.

"That one tells me that you suck at video games." He teased.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Dan whined, grinning. "This is your time to show off all your astronomical expertise, and yet, you choose to make fun of your poor boyfriend." He pouted.

"Hush, according to you, I'm not nearly romantic enough of a boyfriend anyways. Coming from the one who makes me come all the way to the second floor right wing's bathroom whenever I want to see you at school." Phil retorted.

Dan laughed it off, but his previously twinkling heart was melting into a tar that coated the entirety of his stomach.

He knew Phil had been disappointed when he'd hesitantly told him how he wasn't completely comfortable being publically out yet. It almost annoyed him how foreign of a concept to be scared to hold a boy's hand in the halls was to Phil. Dan felt twinges of guilt constantly. This, after all, was Phil's last year in their school. It wasn't as if there weren't boys who had escaped the closet awhile ago who Phil could better be spending time with. Dan often tried reminding himself that he didn't owe anything to him, though this was poorly sufficient at best.

Their bubble had seemed to have been popped as the air between them had slowly drifted into an uncomfortable haze. Dan felt suddenly hyperaware of the chilly October air in which he'd chosen to wear an old Radiohead t-shirt. He hadn't taken the time to straighten his hair in a last attempt to savor the weekend. If it were anybody else, he would've. Phil put him at a certain ease he couldn't quite describe.

"Hey," Phil's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "You look chilly. Do you want to borrow my spare sweatshirt in the car?" He asked.

"No." Dan said softly, a tinge of pink at his oversight in sneaking to his cheeks. "I want you to tell me all about the stars." He murmured, snuggling into Phil's side.

Their relationship frightened Dan, but Dan was scared of many things. A soft spoken boy with a love for space and plants seemed like the least of his worries. He wanted to believe this was true.

do you believe in love at first sight?

in falling for a stranger’s eyes?

Dan sank into his chair, sighing in frustration. Sat in front of him was his MacBook, where an empty Word Document had been opened. Dan had long drifted off though, staring at the blinking cursor on screen. His mind was completely drained of ideas to write about. Finally giving up, he shut his laptop. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day for writing.

***

do you believe in a love so pure?

that your heart flutters when he’s at the door?

Dan heard the familiar ring of the doorbell as he stepped into the café. Laptop in hand, he sat down at a table and set his things up. As he had expected, his head was still empty from things to write about. Dan looked around himself, hoping to find inspiration in his surroundings. There were colourful flowers on window sills, the scent of coffee in the air and the sound of children giggling around him. But no matter how beautiful they were, none of these things seemed enough to inspire him.

Dan was so concentrated on his thoughts, he almost didn’t hear the barista speaking. “Is there anything you’d like?” he asked. Dan turned around to answer, but stopped in his tracks. The boy standing behind him was tall, with ashy black hair and shining blue eyes. All of his features were beautiful and everything about him was bright: his clothes, his eyes, his smile.

“Hello?” he asked. Even his voice was sunny in a way. “Oh, yeah. Could I have a latte, please?” he replied. Dan watched the barista as he nodded and walked away. He had spent almost everyday in this café, always working away on his laptop, but he had never seen this man. Dan turned back to his work, where the Word document was still empty. Write about something beautiful, Dan thought to himself.

From that day on, Dan had enjoyed visiting the café more than ever. Every day, he would go to the same barista (who he found out was named Phil), ordered coffee, and sat at a table with his MacBook. Every now and then, he would secretly look over at him, admiring the boy from afar. Even though the only thing the pair of them would ever say to each other was what coffee Dan wanted to order, he felt like there was a connection between them - although he knew it was a stupid thing to say about someone he had only known for a week and had never made proper conversation with.

On Thursday morning, Dan went into the café as usual. He got out his laptop and started typing onto the Word document, a grin spread across his face. He had almost finished.

a beautiful voice you hadn't heard before,

eyes as deep as the sea,

and a smile that brightens your whole day

His fingers were frantically jumping from key to key, and his tongue was slightly sticking out in concentration. It was hard to believe that a random blue-eyed boy had given him this much motivation.

After typing a few more lines out into his computer, Dan quickly read through his work once more and shoved his laptop into his bag. He was stupidly happy. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the fact that he had finally finished his poem, or because of the angel-like barista, Phil, but he didn’t really care. He felt like skipping all the way home.

could this be love at first sight?

***

Dan speed-walked over to the counter, starting to panic. “Excuse me?” he asked the woman behind it. “Have you seen a black backpack by any chance? I left it here yesterday.” Dan couldn’t believe how stupid he was. Fortunately, the woman seemed to know about it. “Phil! A man is here to claim his bag.”

Dan’s heart flipped over when he heard Phil’s name, even though he saw him almost everyday. Out the corner of his eye, Dan noticed the boy walking towards him, his backpack in hand. Dan was glad to see that someone had taken care of his laptop, but he couldn't deny that he was even happier to see Phil. “You should really watch where you leave your stuff,” Phil said, passing the bag to Dan. Dan unzipped it to check if his laptop was still inside and sighed in relief. “Thanks.”

As Dan was about to walk away, Phil spoke again. “Actually, I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of looked into your computer,” he said quietly, his eyes trailing to the floor. Oh god, Dan thought. This wasn’t good. What if Phil had seen the poem? What would he think if he found out he had been writing about him? “I saw you typing away at your table everyday and I was curious to see what you were writing. Sorry.”

“Did you read it?” Dan asked.

“No. I realised how rude it was to look at other people’s stuff.” Phew. “That’s okay then,” Dan told him with a smile. Phil smiled back, making Dan’s heart skip a beat. It was almost like a high school crush.

Dan hesitated. He had been admiring Phil for so long, what if he just -

“Umm, do you want to go out someday? To get coffee or something?” Phil asked nervously. Dan blinked at him in surprise. This was definitely not what he was expecting to happen. “It’s fine if you don’t want to, of c-”

“Sure!” Dan interrupted him. He grinned as Phil gleamed happily. “I’m Dan by the way.”

“Phil,” he replied, and Dan pretended that he hadn’t known this for weeks.

longing to play with his hair,

longing to hold his hand,

longing him

“If I’m going to be truthful, I did read your poem. It was pretty amazing,” Phil said, laughing. Dan blushed, but he too found it quite funny.