DOCUMENTING THIS ONE POST FROM IM’S BC IT’S IMPORTANT AND I WANT TO SAVE IT
It's just BULLSHIT. My alts blame me for everything! Goldie and Day get mad at me for being scared of them. Because they were so close to their Jacks. And I KNOW they suffered too, I'm not contesting that, but I was FORCED to admit that I'm scared of them sometimes and they got angry at me for it.
And I used to be so close to Day. But since Goldie came along, he's just moved away from me. And Goldie and I were never CLOSE exactly but there was a time when we flirted a lot for shits and giggles which was endearing to ME.
And I was really close to Red for a while before he dropped off the face of the planet. And I got close to Aeron while Red was gone! But then when Red got back he and Aeron and you were together and I don't blame any of you for being happy together but I felt like I didn't matter anymore. I had feelings for both of them but by the time I was ready to admit it to them they were happy with other people and I couldn't ruin that.
And they're both so timid I shouldn't have been around them anyway. I know I act assertive sometimes and I've always been scared of hurting them by reminding them of Jack.
But none of them even TRY to understand. Nobody tries to understand WHY I'm scared. Nobody tries to understand WHY I'm angry. Don't I have a right to be scared of Jack? Don't I have a right to be ANGRY because of Jack? He RUINED. My LIFE. He ruineed my  head and my body and m ysoul and I'll neve  r be okay again beacuse of him
But I'm not allowed to be aangry. I'm not allowed to be scared or hurt. Nobody cares about h ow I feel unless I feel exactl y the same wa they do. I'm not ALLOWED to react to my truama with anger or fear because THEY don'tr eac t wthat way
I tried so logn and os hard to be close to evry single one of them but I always end up psuhed aside fro others who are exactl y like them. Who feel exactly like them. I don't matter. How I feel doesn't matter because I'm ahorrble person no matter what I do
