A/N: Guys, I am so sorry for my absence. I've hadn't time two write in two weeks because we are renovating our whole house and I've had to, besides my work and dog to care, do 80% of the shit my mother was up to. But now I am almost finished with it and can say that I came back to my usual routine where I can write more frequently. Thank you for staying with my blog ♥

---

You woke up to different voices, all of which moved around you and discussed quietly to themselves. Like a thick fog around your brain, you heard everything but all information evaporated like a strong wind into nothing.

The attempt to open your heavy eyelids and perceive the world around you failed. Your body also thwarted your plans; it was numb and completely unable to obey your commands. Your dry and chapped lips formed a sentence but your vocal cords failed and only let out a scratchy groan.

"I think she's finally waking up!" remarked someone next to you who held their hand on your head and slowly ran their thumb over your hair. You only realized in retrospect which perfume this person wore and that it was Spencer before you let your head fall closer to her side and she let out a small laugh. "Emily will go crazy when she hears you woke up and she wasn't here."

A light and weak smile came over your lips and you moved even closer to the warm body next to you. The brunette had meanwhile sat down with half of her body on your bed to show you that she was there for you and put an arm protectively over your hip; careful not to hit your wounds and cause you pain.

Your eyes slowly began to adjust to the bright light when it turned into a color that you could stand. You looked around and realized that you were in the hospital. The bare grey walls and the smell of disinfectant that you had previously blocked out, crept into your nose and made it wrinkle.

"Where's Emily? Is she okay?" you asked raspy and looked at Hanna who was sitting on the end of the bed and was stroking your lower legs. She looked down at the duvet before smiling up and nodding. "Calm down, she is okay. You saved her."

"We're so glad you're okay, babygirl." Spencer chimed in and gave you a kiss on your hair before she rested her cheek on the side of your head.

At the perfect moment the door was opened with full force and a totally dissolved and completely finished Emily came running through the door, followed by Aria who had some food and coffee in her hand and all three of you were startled, the brunette behind her was also shocked by your sisters action.

Emily's shiny eyes were red and dull, her perfect complexion was totally ruined by the salty tears that adorned her skin and she looked as if she hadn't slept for nights and, according to the force with which she had opened the door, more Coffee in her system as Spencer in a week.

"Sorry. I- had no idea - ah intention." she stumbled over her own words as she quickly ran to the closet in your room and threw her jacket in to the others. "Em.." tried Aria to get her out of her totally confused situation when she noticed that you were no longer lying unconscious in your bed.

Your sister had apparently not yet noticed that you were already awake and you were watching every movement she made with your tired eyes. "I saved your life and you treat me like air?" you coughed in a harsh and low voice. Hanna was immediately at your side and poured you a glass of water while Emily stopped moving, her back turned to you and still standing at the open closet. "Where is my 'hey sister' and a 'thank you for saving my ass'?"

The older Fields was afraid to turn around. She was afraid of it and that it was all just a hallucination she was in due to sleep deprivation. It was the internal strife between good and bad that kept her from turning to your bed.

The brunette gripped the closet door and wall unit with her hands so tightly that even the blood escaped from them and made her skin look white. She shook her head barely noticeably, but that didn't help either - Emily had to turn around to confirm for herself whether this was just a dream or reality. "Emmy?"

With a deep breath she turned and looked into your tired eyes. Your skin was pale - almost grey from the loss of blood and dark circles formed under your eyes. Your powerless body hung on machines and at this sight her hair on the back of her neck stood up.

In this moment, her mind brought her back to the moment you stopped breathing in front of her eyes. Tears started to form and stung in her eyes, mixing with the view in front of her as she slowly began to walk towards you.

"Y/N." she sobbed while she pressed a strand of hair behind her ear and stopped in front of your bed. Struggling, she raised her shaky hand and gently placed it on top of yours, tapping it fearfully a few times before your hand drew hers into yours.

Your warmth, which trembled into her body through this touch alone, brought relief with it. Like a house of cards, Emily collapsed and fell around your neck. Her tears ran quickly from her eyes and all the pent-up feelings she had been carrying over the last few days left her body. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be, its okay. I am fine."

While you gently stroked her back and she tried to press closer to you without hurting you, Aria, Spencer and Hanna started to pack their stuff and said goodbye to you in silence. They wanted to give you the time and privacy to talk.

"You could have died and I would have never forgiven myself." sniffed the older of you as she straightened up again, wiping away her tears as her eyes met your gaze. You disappeared in your thoughts for a short moment, all the memories from that evening coming back.

The pain that had eaten you up from the inside out and the coldness that took over your body. The cold path beneath you and the slow and unbearable moment where you couldn't fight anymore and lost conciousness. You notices how something in you tried to defend itself against these thoughts as you started to shake and your voice was muffed from all the tears you tried to swallow. "But I didn't, I am still alive."

Trembling, you tried to get into a comfortable position while trying to avoid your sister's gaze. Clearing your throat and with the play of your fingernails, Emily knew that you were trying to hide how you were really doing and how you were coping with the situation and so she stopped talking about her feelings and hugged you wordlessly. Your protective wall broke in her arms shortly after and your strength faded far away.