#pleaseeeeeuh

As a man, I can proudly say: Lestat De Lioncourt? Yes, bite me, I'm moaning my ass off. Bring me back to yours?? Yes PLEASE. In fact, I'd probably be the one ending up stalking HIM because- that accent, those looks, that manipulative yet charming cunty personality? Fucked. (Also that snatched af slutty waist?? Hello??)

AND LOUIS DE POINTE DU LAC??? HELLO!?? UGH, YES PLEASE. Get me an eternal-living rich as fuck hot as fuck vampire man PLEASE. Them eyes, that BODY, UGH, GIMMIEE!!! Bite me, share me with Lestat, please please please. I'd sleep in the same coffin. Honestly, he could kill me and my last words would be thank you.

ARMAND. ARMAND ARMAND ARMAND ARMAND. UGH. HOLY MACARONI BALLS. HE'S SO HNNNNNNGGHHHHHHUUHHH. I would hunt this man DOWN. Chase me PLEASE. Bite me PLEASE. If this man so as much poked me i'd have to change my pants. The way he's walking and talking has me fr gawking. UGH. I. LOVE. ARMAND!! Y'know that one Lana Del Rey song?? The freaking 'Scary my god you're divine,' one?? THAT IS ME TO ARMAND. I WOULD HELP HIM. DOUBLE TEAM MY FELLOW HUMANS. WHOSE JOINING??

And Daniel. Oh Daniel. I wanna fuck that old man. Ugh. Them sweet eyes ... That attitude.... I love me some personality. It feeds my issues <33 <33 but gadamn seriously I love you Daniel you lucky ass duck getting to be in the same room as Armand and Lestat and Louis like WHAT I would die.

Moral of the story, if any of these men so as much as LOOKED at me I would have a heart attack and pass on. Thank you for coming to my ted talk <333

Louis Du Point Du Lac? Fucked.

Lestat De Lioncourt? Fucked.

The Vampire Armand? Fucked.