#pleasedontread

I still feel it. I still feel for you. But I’m getting a little colder every day. It probably won’t be long now.

I really don’t want to do this (Especially because I’m listening to First Time acoustic right now and I really miss you). Like it feels wrong to let go of these feelings. My whole body wants you. But I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling this way. 

So I’m moving on. I’m shutting my feelings out. I’m shutting you out. I might even be shutting myself out. I don’t really know at this point. I guess I’m shutting everyone out. I don’t really want to let anyone in for a while. I just want to be by myself.

I’ll put up a facade though. I really don’t like being cold and mean to people. It doesn’t feel right. But I don’t really want to talk to anyone either. I really miss having someone to talk to though. Someone that I can let my real feelings out to. It’s nice. It’s really, really nice. 

I don’t like being or feeling disconnected with people. But right now, it’s the only way I know how to keep moving. Life don’t stop for nobody. It sure as hell won’t stop for me. Not for a second. 

What should you do? Why does it happened? How to overcome that? 

its been a hell of a time, these hectic days don't be seeming to get any easier but not necessarily any harder. and although i think they are getting harder i think i'm just learning how to live life at half best. never feeling totally in the moment or appreciating life at what it truly is, beautiful and invigorating. i'm constantly content with what i have but thats it, i don't love life, far from it actually. i resent the fact that i can't be good enough, for my family, for society, for school - the fact that i can't love myself for who i am - the fact that i still doubt the feelings you say you have for me - the fact that i feel like i'm not good enough - the fact that i'm scared for my future, and how i don't even know what i want to do - the fact that i constantly feel alone. 

i'm sick and tired of doubting every god damn aspect of my life.