I played through one of the adventures using my weird solo RPG rules.

I hope to explore future issues soon!

I was following the Chaos DJ around and we were drunk, she was drunker than I was. And I probably shouldn’t have followed her around so carelessly since everyone knows I am not a big fan of adventure. I have no idea how it happened but the next minute we were in a hall full of adventurers. There were many more adventurers than I have seen in a lifetime.  

I saw the warlock standing in the back with a group of fellas. The warlock is this lady called Kneewacker whom I met in prison. These guys did not seem the toughest of the bunch so it seemed safe to hang with them there were six of them. An odd bunch to be honest! The oddest of them all was a fella who was a giant crab! I had never seen or heard such a thing! The next fella was a bear, and I bet you he was not attracting enough attention because he was standing next to the giant crab. Next to them where two fighters tough and rough and although they didn’t look anything like each other later I found out that they were twins. The last one was a ranger, smart looking but for the life of me I could not tell if it was a man or a woman. So I tried to avoid eye contact so to hide my ignorance and avoid an awkward situation of using the wrong term of address. They were waiting for some sort of announcement and as the announcement began I stood next to the Kneewacker to what was going on.

The man who was making the announcement was the castellan, he was called Ashen. I had seen him once, when I was working for the reeve.  The castellan told us that the reeve had taken a wow of silence so he was announcing in his place that in preparation for reeve’s wedding to a lady (a foreigner lady) they needed some material and that is why they had called adventurers. The castellan gave each group a quest and he gave the bunch I was standing with the quest to look for a rare mushroom. “It is the easiest quest” he told us. But since the north of the Forest End is dangerous territory we decided to have some adventurers take care of it.

I as I told you am not a man for adventure, but I am as of now unemployed and short of cash. The man was promising 300 gold each and it was a money that is hard to come by for an honest lad like me. Besides how hard could finding some mushrooms be? And I would be pretty safe next to all these fighters I thought.

So we decided to go north of the town. I had to run home and borrow my roommate’s weapons and equipment first though. My roommate used to be an adventurer you see but then he took a knee to an arrow. I said goodbye to my pet badger and up north we went.

We hadn’t gone much further north when we came across the most curious thing ever. The ranger first caught sight of it. It was dimly glowing orange thing. It was quite translucent but at further inspection it looked like a jack-o-lantern that was crying. Everyone tried to interact with it. It would get less translucent when you made it happy and would go back to its state when you saddened it. I scooped out a spoon full of its jelly like body and it tasted like nana’s pumpkin pie.

We moved further north and came across three lunatics who had covered their bodies in feather and were cawing as though crazy crows.  The bear and the lobster went towards them and the feather covered bunch attacked them. They knocked down the bear and he was bleeding t death. The rest of us rushed to help them. The Chaos DJ played a song that healed the bear while the party took care of the bird men. I checked the dead bodies of the fools and they had blood tattoos of bird’s beak. The crab chopped up the piece of skin with the tattoo on it and put it in his bag. We didn’t walk long before we came across a cave opening were he assumed we’d find the mushrooms. The twin fighters rushed into the dark cave but the rest of us followed the bear calmly who was carrying a cage full of glowing wasps. 

The cave came to a fork with a way to right a way forward and a way to the left. The twins were going straight much in front of the group. The ranger and the crab went left and the rest of us went right. We came across a door that opened into a room with a strange device in it and an old foreigner man was working on it. As he see us he went spastic and started yelling in his own language and set off the machine that shot out something heavy. Luckily it didn’t hit us but splintered the door which quite injured some of the party. We attacked and brought the man down. The sound of the blast drew our friends to the room one of the twins was missing. The other twin told us that her brother just passed out in the middle of the cave. We rushed to him. His body was cold but still alive.

A bit further from when he had fallen lay down another body. It was that of Ezerbeth the Harsh who is the most famous adventurer in the parts. She was under the same influence as our friend. The crab was carrying a huge pot and he put our friends in it. The pot woke them up. It seemed to me maybe heat was the key in curing these people. At that moment I noticed that I had a candle in my hand with some matches. I lit it up and pressed it against her skin. She jumped out of her frozen dream in a second and was about to bite me when the warlock used her charms on her. Ezerbeth told us that she was also looking for mushrooms, the details I don’t know because we separated son after that. She pointed a staircase to us down which we would find what we needed.

We went down the stairs to a fowl smelling place full of mushrooms. We started picking them in a few moments our bags were bursting with mushrooms. I stretched my back and let out a sigh of relief that the dreadful quest was complete at last. But I was a fool for at that second emerged out of a wall an unnoticed giant four meters tall, ghastly giant mushroom covered in red droplets which I wish you will never see.

The mushroom launched at us. We fought with it but alas it was not an easy task. I was trying to sneak behind it while the rest were engaged in upfront combat. The ghastly thing let out a cloud of spores that knocked me out of my mind and unknowingly I slashed forward and lost my stance. The chaos DJ started playing a song that slowly made the room ablaze. The fight went on and this time it shot out the red liquid at us most of us were quite hurt by it, the chaos DJ was knocked out. The fire killed the mushroom and it was roasted as a mushroom is on a BBQ. It smelt quite pleasant and I couldn’t resist. I grabbed a big bite and some of the others did too.

The room was getting unbearably hot. The crab put the chaos DJ in his pot and we rushed out of the cave. It was nighttime. The crickets were so loud as if they were having a party; there was a lake in front that has not been there before.

No one else seemed to notice the oddity.