#platonic lamp

Surprise? What the hell? Just in case, Virgil let out a series of clicks and listened for the echo. Three people: one winged, one with frog legs, one with shiny robotic parts. His team. He took a breath and opened his eyes, stepping into the room and blinking a few times to adjust to the light. The room was covered in colorful streamers and banners. There was a large chocolate cake on the table, and three wrapped boxes. His teammates were beaming at him.

Well, everyone except Logan, who sighed. "I warned you that a celebration this bright and loud might startle him," he said to the team, then looked back at him. "Apologies, Virgil, and congratulations."

It still didn't make any sense. "For what?" Virgil asked.

"Today marks exactly one year since you joined our team," Logan explained, with what passed as a smile. "We believed it to be a momentous occasion."

"A full year of vanquishing villains by our side!" Roman proclaimed with a flourish, the tips of his phoenix wings briefly aflame for dramatic effect.

A year. He hadn't even meant to stay that long but now…

"We're so proud of you kiddo!" Patton gushed, hopping up and down on his frog legs. "Can I give you a hug?"

Still processing, Virgil shrugged and let him. Patton squealed and engulfed him in a hug. Virgil hugged back, letting his wings wrap around them both like a leathery blanket.

When it started feeling too constricting, Virgil gently extracted himself and looked back at the others. "So… why all this? Do you all celebrate your team-anniversaries too?" He didn't remember any other parties like this, unless they did it in private— which he wouldn't hold against them.

"Well, we all joined the same time, and we wouldn't want you to feel left out," Patton said. "We want you to feel apart of the team, of the family. We care about you."

"Your skills and powers are valuable," Logan added. "Your quick thinking and echolocation have saved our lives on multiple occasions. We would not have succeeded without you. In addition, I… enjoy your presence. It is nice to have someone who prefers quiet activities, someone who takes threats seriously and is willing to plan ahead."

"I admit I had my doubts, but time and again you have proven yourself a worthy ally," Roman said. "You are brave and strong, with a good heart beneath that shadowy facade. You work well with a team and truly, you make us…. better."

Virgil pulled his hood tighter, trying and failing to hide his blush. "Look, I appreciate you trying, and it's real sweet, but just… I don't need all this. Really."

"Too bad we're doing it!" Roman waved off his concern.

"Do ya want cake or presents first?" Patton asked.

Well. Looked like he wouldn't be able to back out now. "Uh… presents, I guess," Virgil said with a shrug. He wasn't sure if his stomach would appreciate the sweets just yet.

Logan handed him the box wrapped in space-themed paper. Inside there were two oddly shaped devices resembling speakers. "I enjoyed the challenge of creating headphones that would work better with your unique chiropteran ears. It may take further trial and error— please do let me know if they require any adjustments."

Virgil stared at the headphones. It must have taken hours, days, to design and build. He swallowed. "Wow… that's really cool. Thanks," he settled for with an awkward thumbs up. He lifted one to his ear, trying it on. Better than human style ones, for sure.

"My turn!" Roman announced, practically shoving the red and gold box into his arms.

"Jeez Princey, one at a time!" Virgil set the headphones aside and opened Roman's gift. A new uniform, sleek and sturdy, dark as night with a faint metallic sheen. There were openings for his wings and ears. Clearly tailored specially for him.

"Bulletproof, fireproof, and best of all stylish!" Roman boasted. "Flexible too, it won't get in the way of fight or flight. You're one of us, you deserve the best!"

"… Thank you. I'll, um, try it on later."

"Here you go, kiddo!" Patton said, passing over the last box, in sky blue paper.

There was a hand drawn card on top. "MVH - Most Valuable Hero! We love you Virgil!" A large yellow star and several smaller hearts, all drawn in crayon.

Under the card there was a huge fuzzy blanket, more than large enough to wrap around himself and his wings. Not nearly as complicated as the other two gifts, but just as heartfelt. "Thanks, Pat," he said around the lump in his throat.

Patton beamed at him. "So glad you like it!"

"I'll cut the cake!" Without waiting for a response, Roman used his sword to cut into the cake.

"I am not certain that's sanitary," Logan muttered.

Roman scoffed. "Oh don't worry, I sharpened and cleaned the sword earlier today."

He can't breathe.

"Roman, honestly, are you even paying-" Logan stops mid-sentence. Roman can barely hear him as he finally bursts into tears. They are nearly silent, trickling down his cheeks, but the room is suddenly dead silent, except for Roman's hitching, gasping breaths as he tries to breathe and tries to stop crying. His heart is pounding in his chest like a runaway locomotive, and his lungs feel like they're collapsing in on themselves, and he can't stop-

"Hey," Virgil is there, soft and quiet and blessedly not angry. "Roman, can you hear me? I think you're having a panic attack. It will be okay. You just have to breathe, okay? In for four...." Virgil demonstrates, an exaggerated loud intake of breath. Roman tries to follow, but he just can't. Not yet. His breathing keeps hitching in the middle. He tries to apologize, but Virgil only shakes his head a little, his eyes surprisingly soft.

"It's okay," Virgil soothes him. "I'm not angry at you. Sometimes it takes a little while. That's okay. I'll just keep breathing and you try to match it, okay?" He keeps going, keeps demonstrating, and Roman keeps trying, because he doesn't know what else to do.

Finally- finally, his chest loosens enough that Roman can look up again, eyes watery. Virgil's there, with a gentle smile on his face, but he can see Logan and Patton over Virgil's shoulder. They look worried.

"There you are," Virgil says, his smile widening a little. "What happened, Ro?"

"Today's been...bad," Roman admits, his voice hoarse and tear-choked. "I- I know that my ideas are inadequate for what Thomas needs, but I- I don't know what else to do, I- I've tried so hard the past several days- preparing for today- I'm so sorry that I'm not up to par-"

"Oh, sweetheart, no," and Patton is there, cradling Roman's face between his hands. "Oh, we've made such a mess of today, haven't we?" Patton asks gently.

"I never intended for you to feel that way, Roman," Logan says, his voice a little stiff, but warm nonetheless. He adjusts his glasses, ill at ease. "Several of your ideas simply need a little polishing, that is all. I am sorry if I didn't explain that as well as I should have."

"It's okay," Roman says, with a watery little laugh. "I- I know I overreact a lot, I-"

"No," Virgil's there again, asking wordlessly if he wants a hug, and when he nods, Virgil enfolds him in his arms. "That's our fault," Virgil tells him. "We didn't communicate right. Your ideas are great, Roman. Even when Thomas can't use them all, they're still great because they're yours. I'm so sorry that we ever made you feel otherwise."

"It's just- well, it's been a bad week," Roman admits.

"It sounds like you put an undue amount of pressure on yourself," Logan says softly. "Would a Disney marathon help?"

Roman considers it for a moment, head tilted to one side, as the others watch him, waiting for his answer.

"If you're all there," Roman finally says.

"Of course!" Patton exclaims. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. What if we all wore our onesies? I'll start making snacks-"

"I'll help," Logan adds quickly, remembering the last time Patton made snacks by himself. Not a healthy option in sight.

"You good?" Virgil asks, his voice quiet, as his eyes search Roman's face.

"I will be," Roman says, wiping his eyes with a conjured handkerchief. "I will be." Virgil pulls him into another sideways hug, gently squeezing him.

"Yes, you will," Virgil states. "Because we love you."

“Nuh uh,” Logan shook his head, tearing up slightly.

“Oh, hey,” Roman said gently, pulling Logan into a hug. “Don’t cry, starlight, we’ll try something else. How about I paint your nails? Do you want to try that?”

“I dunno,” Logan whispered into his shoulder.

“How about we try it out, and if you don’t like it, we can remove it and try something else?”

“‘Kay.”

“Here,” Roman sat the nine-year-old down at the kitchen table before making his way to his bedroom, emerging a moment later with his nail polish case. “You pick a color, and I’ll get the rest of the supplies ready.”

“Okay.”

Roman unlatched the case and watched for a moment as Logan set to studying every color very seriously. Then he went back to the bathroom and grabbed the nail clippers, cotton balls, and other things he would need. When he got back to the kitchen, Logan had — unsurprisingly — selected a dark indigo.

“Is that the color you want?” Roman asked, setting the supplies down on the table and placing a bowl of warm water in front of Logan.

Logan nodded.

“Great, put your hands in the water so that your nails are all submerged, and when they’re nice and soft I’ll clip them all even and straight, okay?”

Logan nodded again and did what he was instructed.

A few minutes later, Roman was applying the second coat of indigo to his son’s fingers.

“Do you like it?” He asked as Logan inspected the hand he was not currently working on.

“Yeah,” Logan nodded, turning his fingers this way and that to see them from different angles.

“You know what might make them even better?”

“What?”

Roman grinned, he was certain that Logan would like his idea. “How about I paint some stars on them?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, we’ll let this dry a little, and then I’ll add some stars.”

Just then the door from the garage opened and a very small boy carrying a very large grocery bag full of cans came in, followed by a much larger man carrying about five grocery bags in each hand.

“Do you need some help there, Virge?” Roman chucked, placing Logan’s hand flat on the table, so that he wouldn’t smudge the polish, and screwing the cap back on the polish bottle.

“I can do it!” The six-year-old huffed, the bag making a clank-clunk as he struggled to hold it above the ground.

“You’re doing great, sweetie!” Patton praised, placing his own bags on the kitchen counter with ease. “And what have you two been up to?”

“The lemon juice didn’t work, so we’re painting Logan’s nails,” Roman explained, preening as his husband leaned down to greet him with a kiss.

“They’re very pretty, Lolo!” Logan smiled at the praise.

“Mine next!” Virgil demanded, having finished dragging his bag to the counter and barreled into Roman’s side. “Daddy, paint mine next!”

Patton smiled and turned back to putting away the groceries.

“Sure thing, shadowling,” Roman smiled, ruffling his younger son’s dark curls. “Pick out a color, roll your sleeves up, and stick your hands in the water while I finish Logie’s.”

“‘Kay!”

Roman checked Logan’s polish and found it to be dry enough to start adding stars. He added stars mostly randomly, but on Logan’s thumbs he painted the Big and Little Dippers.

Virgil selected a nice purple, and asked Roman to add spider webs “but not the spiders because papa’s afraid of spiders!”

“Got time for one more?” Patton asked as Roman finished applying the last of the topcoat to Virgil’s nails.

“I always have time for you, my love!” Roman professed, making Virgil fake gag. “What would you like?”

“Surprise me,” Patton giggled.

“Logan, can you bring me my sleep mask from my room, please,” Roman requested, he already had an idea of what he wanted to do.

When Logan got back, Patton slipped the sleep mask — red silk outlined with black lace and the words “Beauty Queen” embroidered across the eyes — over his own eyes, and placed his hands in the water while Roman took their kids to the other room to confer with them. Both kids were completely on board with Roman’s plan, so he quickly came back and got to work on Patton’s nails.

Both kids were hovering over Roman’s shoulders while he worked, but they luckily didn’t give Patton any spoilers.

“Close your eyes,” Roman ordered as soon as the polish was dry. Once Patton confirmed that his eyes were closed, Roman slipped the sleep mask off his face. “Aaaaand open!”

“Oh!” Patton gasped, fighting the instinct to clutch his hands to his face since that would prevent him from looking at his nails.

Roman had painted all the fingers on his left hand the same indigo as Logan with each finger having a white letter on it: L-O-G-A-N. His right hand was purple with V-I-R-G-E in black.

“I love it!” He gushed, pulling both of his sons in for a hug. “A tribute to two of my favorite people done by my other favorite person!”

“You really like it?” Virgil asked, burying himself in Patton’s arms.

“I do, sweetie.”

“Can we paint daddy’s nails?” Logan asked suddenly.

“Yes!” Virgil agreed quickly.

“The people have spoken!” Roman laughed as he accepted the sleep mask. “Do your worst.”

He didn’t trust the giggles coming from his sons, but as long as they were happy, he was sure he’d love it.

~~~END~~~

I got a pedicure yesterday, gave me an idea

General taglist:

“Princey,” Virgil said. He hesitantly brought his hand towards Roman’s head and combed through his hair. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

It was funny, almost. It’d be funny if not for the fact that Roman was helplessly crushed. Falling straight into the arms of someone he swore was his enemy once upon a time.

Now all Roman had to do to find his enemy was to look in a mirror. He felt pathetic. He could hardly breathe and his hands were shaking like pins and needles.

Worthless.

He missed the callback for nothing. If he couldn’t help Thomas win his hopes and dreams...what could he do?

He was gasping for air. He felt light headed. The room was closing in on him. He held on to Virgil- no air- NO AIR!

“Princey, we need to get you out of here.”

“I- I’m fi-”

“You’re having a panic attack, don’t tell me you’re fine.”

“I’m-”

He felt the pull of being summoned into another room. No. No, no, no, no, not Thomas. He can’t face Thomas. He couldn't-

“Roman,” Virgil said. They were in his room, sitting on his bed, the air was still. The world wasn’t ending. “Roman, are you okay?

He tried to speak, but the words weren’t there. He could still feel the lack of oxygen in his hands. He shook his head and buried himself further into the hood of Virgil’s jacket.

But follow you forever

May it never leave you

To sleep in the stone, maybe

“We’re okay.”

Stay lost on our way home.

He doesn’t remember how long it took him to feel okay again. (Certainly not okay, but at least oxygenated). He just remembers the scent of Virgil’s jacket as he was rocked back and forth. He remembers the cool touch of a baby wipe cleaning his cheeks and under his eyes. He remembers the black stains left on that wipe.

C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me

I like to believe in all the possibilities.

He started to feel okay again, though, after he had snapped on some pajamas (per Virgil’s request) and laid back against the bed. “Get some rest, Princey.”

“Don’t go,” Roman urged in a quiet whisper. “Please. I don’t want to be alone with... everything.”

Virgil took a deep breath and summoned a switch. “Want to play some Animal crossing?”

Roman cringed slightly at the idea of video games, but tried to find some safety in the company. “Yeah, that would be great.”

Virgil slid next to Roman, not daring to get under the covers, but just close enough that they could both see the screen. Roman rested his head against Virgil’s shoulder as the game loaded.

If I should die tonight

May I first just say I'm sorry

For I, never felt like anybody

I am a man of many hats although I

Never mastered anything

“What’s the objective?” Roman asked.

“Whatever you want,” Virgil whispered.

“That’s nice.”

“Going to make Blathers my bitch with these fish though.” He paused in realization. “Am... Am I Blathers’ sugar daddy?”

Roman snorted, finding himself moving closer to Virgil as he laughed. “I think that also makes you a furry.”

“Oh dear God.”

There was a knock at the door that interrupted their laughter. “Roman?”

But I am ten feet tall

I’ve never felt this tall since the fall

It was Logan. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I was looking for Virgil. Have you seen him?”

Virgil gave a hesitant look. “It’s okay,” Roman whispered.

“I’m in here, L,” he called out.

Nobody seems to know my name

So don't leave me and sleep all alone

Maybe stay lost on our way home

The door opened slowly. He stood stiffly, with an almost solemn expression on his face. “Roman, I do hope you are feeling better. I have been... informed of recent events.”

Virgil squeezed his side protectively.

“Are you alright, Roman?” The door opened a little more and he could see Patton nervously peeking behind it.  

“I’ll...” Don’t lie. Lying is wrong. Lying is evil. “I’ll be better, Specs.”

“Well, if that’s all, then I shall be-”

“Logan.”

He paused. “Yes?”

Roman nodded towards the empty space next to him. “Come join us. Both of you.”

There was a hesitance in Patton’s eyes. He was walking on eggshells and he couldn’t stop.

“Padre,” Roman whispered. “Please. It’s okay.” Roman snapped himself and the lensed duo into their onesies. Virgil smiled softly and changed himself in an act of solidarity. He also summoned a switch into Logan’s hands.

“Visit our island, bitches.”

“This is only one console.”

“We’re evening out the playing field.”

Logan and Patton sat on the bed, Patton sitting on the edge and keeping to himself.

C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me

Patton and Roman shared a glance.

I’d like to believe in all the possibilities

“We love you,” Patton whispered.

C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me

I’d like to believe in all the possibilities

Roman smiled at him- it wasn’t easy, but Roman smiled. “Right,” he mouthed.

Try not to mistake what you have with what you hate

It could leave, it could leave, come morning

It wasn’t long before they could see Logan and Patton’s avatar, with a curvy mouth and forward facing eyes, running onto their screen with a default outfit. Virgil snorted commenting that the character looked “like a fucking crack addict” much to the disagreement of Logan and Patton. After a while they were all much more relaxed, even Logan seemed to be okay with Roman now leaning onto him.

Celebrate the night

It’s the fall before the climb

“It’s getting late,” Logan commented.

“Fuck it,” Roman murmured against his shoulder.

Shall we sing, shall we sing, until morning?

He reached over Logan’s torso, reaching out for Patton’s hand. Patton stayed silent as he laced their fingers.

“Roman, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Patton.”

“But, I-”

“It’s okay, Patton,” he said. “I love you too.”

If I fall forward, you fall flat

Under the sound of Animal Crossing music and dialogue at full blast, Roman could hear Virgil humming a familiar tune. Something about Virgil being a sock puppet still made him laugh.

And if the sun should lift me up,

Would you come back?

C'mon, c'mon, with everything falling down around me

I'd like to believe in all the possibilities

C'mon, c'mon, with everything falling down around me

I'd like to believe in all the possibilities

So c'mon, c'mon, with everything falling down around me

I'd like to believe in all the possibilities

Yeah Yeah Yeah!

It was around four in the morning when they all fell asleep. Janus’s words were still echoing in Roman’s head. But it was quieter now. It was easier to ignore under Patton’s snore. It was fine. They were going to be okay.

He was going to be okay.