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You could hardly see a goddamn thing. Mars really hated times like this. With nothing to keep it down the wind and dust would whip around for days, throwing visibility to the dogs and staining everything a ruddy brown. It fucked up his complexion something fierce. Which shouldn't have been a big deal given that he wasn’t beautiful like Saturn or Earth, but he still had a right to clear skin, right? It didn’t really matter no one would actually be able to see him in this mess anyways.

                Scowling he stumbled his way across the rusty cloud that was his house. You couldn’t get away from the dust on days like this. Even in the absence of the wind it seeped in through the cracks in the windows and doors, fine particles hanging in the air like a fog.

                Or sometimes it whirled about chaotically, getting in his eyes and fucking up his hair, all while accompanied by the slamming of his front door.

                Who the hell was in his house?

                All at once the air erupted in barking and panting and the scrambling of excited paws; his intruder was assaulted with wagging tails and puppy slobber. Oh yes, the fear and terror was palpable. Those damn mutts, a supernova could be knocking at the door and they’d still welcome it so long as it brought treats along with the obliteration.

Well it wasn’t a supernova at his front door but he wasn’t exactly welcome either; no amount of dust could hide the image of Earth kneeling on the floor issuing tummy rubs and, as always, talking animatedly.

                “Oh fer- they’re not poodles, Earth. They’re vicious war beasts!”

                Earth was giving him that look. He couldn’t exactly see it, but he knew it was there. It was that look where he knew you were wrong, and you knew you were wrong, and everybody knew you were wrong, but he was going to point it out like an ass anyways.

                “Really? War beasts? Mars I’ve got single cell organisms that are more terrifying than these two. You two are just little cuties aren’t you?” He was all but cooing at the moons now. “Yes you are! Show Mars how cute you are so he can stop living in his delusional world.”

                Well, Mars could have gone his whole life without seeing that. There was just something fundamentally wrong about a grown man using baby-talk. On his little moons no less. He really hadn’t expected the other – not that Earth ever took the time to announce when he was visiting – and the redhead found his thoughts flicking back to his complexion. He waved the thought away with a hand through the air.  “What the hell are you doing here?” His eyes narrowed through the haze.

                The brunette snorted “What, like I need a reason to visit?” he teased Phobos into chasing its own tail, “It’s not like you’re gonna make me go back out into that storm anyways.”

                “I got half a mind to.”

                “Don’t be like that.” Earth moved towards the smaller planet, tiny moons left scrambling between his feet excitedly and yelping when they crashed into one another. He picked Deimos up. “You’re always so grumpy, you know.” Now he held the dog out to the redhead “Need a tummy rub too?”

                Mars physically flinched back from the other at that one. “Shut up before I beam ya!” Thank god for the dust because he wasn’t sure he could explain the look on his face at that moment. He definitely couldn’t explain why the idea didn’t sound as awful to him as it should have.

                Earth just laughed it off, placing the pup back on the ground where it scrambled off, following Phobos into the next room. The brunette watched on for a moment fondly before turning back to the other. “So…” Here it came, that smile was too bright to be innocent. “Seen anything new?”

                Instantly, Mars felt himself sink. “No.” his voice was harsher than intended. “What am I expecting this time?” There was a time when they would talk about other things, now it was always business with the little blue planet, always some strange metal contraption to poke and pinch and ‘figure Mars out’. Annoying. Frustrating. If Earth really wanted to figure him out that badly all he had to do was ask. But he never did ask, instead he just dove right in with his science and his cameras and his ridiculous human monkey things. It was like he didn’t trust Mars to talk to him. Which, granted, he knew he didn’t make himself easy to get along with, but Earth was his best friend. And for that it didn’t matter that he hated talking about the past. He’d make an exception; he always seemed to in the end.

                “You’re gonna love this; it’s Spirit and Opportunity!” Earth was grinning from ear to ear now, searching for the look on the others face. He couldn’t see it that well, but he was sure it was a reflection of pure confusion. “They’re two new rovers!” He explained excitedly, Earth could have chattered on for hours about them, Mars wasn’t giving him the pleasure.

                “No. No, no way in hell. Absolutely not.”

                “What? Mars don’t be like that, this is an amazing opportunity.”

                “They’re useless. They never work.” It was true. The tiny robots rarely lasted more than couple of months, but that was hardly the issue. Mars… didn’t know what to make of the little things. He didn’t know what to make out of most of Earth’s ‘projects’ but these ones had never sat well with him in particular. Earth had always said he was special. That he had resources and life and things Earth’s precious little life-forms could use. Of course he had that. There was a time when Mars had his own set of precious little life-forms, though it was too long ago for him to remember clearly; but it was nice just to have someone notice that fact. He was special right? So why was he left with the scraps of metal while Earth chased after bigger things?

                Well maybe it was because he always seemed to piss the other off. That certainly seemed to be the case at the moment.

                “You kicked the last one over! They work just fine!” the brunette fixed him with a glare. How many times had he been on the receiving end of that?

                Mars shrugged. “It was always staring at me.” He hadn’t been in a good place that night.

                To his surprise the blue planet pulled a face and laughed back at him, snickering like there was some big inside joke hanging in the air. It made Mars want to scream, but then both Earth’s hands were on his and they were finally close enough he could see the other clearly through the dust, and the noise died in his lungs. Earth was giving him that look. The one that made him feel like he had something stuck in his throat and chest and it was awkward and uncomfortable but he couldn’t quite look away either. Earth’s hands were always soft. “Oh come on Mars Bar, you’ve got to give them a chance, they’ll be good for you!” A murmur of ‘don’t call me that’ went ignored. “They’re gonna look for evidence of water, get a good picture of what your atmosphere used to look like and how it’s changed.” That smile was toxic. “That doesn’t sound so bad, right?”

                Mars found himself agreeing dumbly without giving his brain a chance to keep up. Wait.

                If it was possible, Earth’s smile got even brighter. “Perfect! They should be here soon, then. Hopefully after your windstorm dies down, I don’t want that to be the first thing they see, you know?” Earth started to move his hands away. Mars didn’t let go. Wait.

                “You’re already here. Why don’t you just stay?” His voice and expression was raw he knew, but he couldn’t seem to mask it. It always followed the same pattern; the other would get so close and in the next moment be so frustratingly far away. But that didn’t sound right, there was no pattern, and Earth certainly didn’t seem any worse for the wear if there was. Mars felt betrayed though, and fuck if he knew why because that didn’t make a lick of sense but there it was; ugly and messy and raw.

                Maybe the other didn’t see it though, or maybe he chose not to, because Earth was already laughing it off. He pulled his hands away, explaining how, no, he couldn’t do that, and didn’t Mars not want him around in the first place? But Mars wasn’t listening, not really, just staring at his empty hands.

                “I never said that,” He squeezed his eyes shut. “And since when did you give a damn what I want, anyways? It’d be so much easier without the rovers and you know it.”

                Earth gave Mars a long hard look at that. “You just said you were okay with them.” His voice was slow, accusatory, and although he wasn’t close enough to see clearly anymore, Mars was familiar with that look he was getting now too.

                “Well I didn’t mean it!” So he sounded ridiculous, petulant, childish; he didn’t care. And maybe he was resisting the urge to stomp his foot, but he couldn’t shake this feeling that Earth was playing him. It was infuriating and put that lump back in his throat and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Pacing around the room restlessly he whipped back around to face his tormentor. It was all accusations now.

                “How the hell would you know anyways? You never listen to a thing I say!” and what friend was so selfish anyways? “You’re so fucking self-centered, you never listen to anyone!” What he was saying wasn’t false, but that didn’t mean it needed to be said.

                Earth was not impressed. He stood like a pillar, arms crossed and eyes glaring. Normally considered lithe or even feminine, he could be downright intimidating when he wanted. Density. “What the hell are you talking about?” He quirked and eyebrow challengingly, “Do you even know?”

                No. He didn’t. They both knew that. He hadn’t a fucking clue what he was talking about. It hardly mattered as he marched himself right in front of the other. The frustration, the confusion, the unmistakable pang of hurt, it was like he was losing his atmosphere all over again. It made him vicious. A steady rage had built until this point, but as he looked up at the blue planet, standing on his toes to give himself some illusion of equality, a hundred venomous retorts died on his lips.

                Because there was Earth, close enough now that Mars could see the resolution in his eyes and the firm line of his mouth and fuck it he wasn’t some sort of beautiful right then. But he was, and Mars couldn’t bring himself to attack that no matter how he felt. So instead he ripped his eyes off the other. He may have shared a name with the god of war, but he was rapidly losing the will to fight.

                Moments passed and Mars became aware of the sound of the other’s foot tapping on the floor. Oh fer- was he waiting for an answer?

Mars choked on the ‘no’, but the tapping stopped.

“Well.” Earth started with a tone decidedly less dangerous, and entirely more smug. “Then I think I deserve an apology.”

That was too far. “Oh, bite me.”

Earth hadn’t a reply for that, and Mars refused to move his gaze from the floor. They were treated to an awkward silence. How had it denatured so quickly? It didn’t used to be like this. It didn’t used to be so complicated. He thought of forces, of gravity, of power. At some point something had unraveled, he lost control of the situation, and now he couldn’t make sense of a single goddamn thought that crossed his mind. He wasn’t smart like Earth was. Hell, he wasn’t even smart enough to have a conversation anymore.

Beside him Earth shuffled, stepping from foot to foot. He hated silence, Mars knew, and with the dust thick around them the air was particularly heavy with it.

“I can’t control my life-forms anymore, you know. Not really.” He said it scrubbing a hand through his two-toned hair, and he said it with such sincerity that Mars instantly found that raw feeling lodged back in his throat.

“I know.” His voice cracked like it couldn’t get past that rawness and he ducked his head lower. “They’re not…” He kept his eyes glued on the ground. “Your life-forms are incredible, Earth. They’re so independent and advanced and I forget that-“ Nope. Don’t go there. He couldn’t trust himself to say anything, could he? Better to just stop.

Earth couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. From redwoods to ciliate to humans, it was true; he’d grown a pretty good crop. Hardy, too. Life had proven itself time and time again in Earth’s eyes. Once sparked it could endure anything – growing back a little bit stronger, a little bit better each time. Life never truly died.

And that’s why he crouched down to the smaller planet’s level, pulling the other’s eyes up from the floor with a gentle touch to the shoulder.

“I’m trying to find your life for you, Mars. But you’ve got to co-operate with me. We’ll find it again.” He tried to be supportive; he knew what it was like to lose everything.

Mars stared back into green eyes. He wanted to tell Earth that his search was pointless, and if the other had only listened to him he would know that -- if Earth had only asked he would have told him that life had dried up with the water and they could have avoided all this. But there was no talking to the brunette; it was so much easier just to concede.

So instead the red planet nodded brusquely, muttering something about the storm putting him on edge. Earth seemed to understand that, always dealing with tsunamis and storms and plate tectonics himself. He offered to stay – like Mars had wanted – but the thought made him feel sick; now he just wanted to get as far away from the brunette as possible.

That dull clawing in his throat didn’t stop until well after Earth had left, and even then he wasn’t far enough away. And it wasn’t until well after Phobos and Deimos had circled back around, cuddling and slobbering and begging for food, that he could even begin to revisit what had happened. It wasn’t worth it, Mars decided. Whatever it was, whatever he kept hoping for, it wasn’t worth feeling this shitty every time it didn’t happen. It wasn’t worth all the fights, and it definitely wasn’t worth looking like as big an idiot as he had today.