#pixie special

I’m sorry but trauma can make you feel like a monster even if you didn’t do anything wrong and it’s completely normal (tragic, but normal) for natasha to feel monstrous because of what was done to her and not just because of what she has done. i personally dealt with feelings like that for years and still do (where do you think my adoration of villains comes from?)

I guess you can argue that “the narrative should’ve made it clear that she is unreliable and we’re not meant to agree with her” but tbh i don’t think the movie should have to hold your hand and explain to you that sometimes trauma makes you think poorly of yourself even if it’s undeserved. the only real way to call it out explicitly would’ve been for bruce to correct her, and he had basically two options there, neither of which were good:

1. say “you’re not a monster” which he knows goddamn well, from experience, is not going to help. she just revealed something incredibly vulnerable to him and giving her back something he’s come to see as a false platitude would have been nearsighted to the point of apathetic. 

2. say “you’re not a monster for that reason. other reasons yes but not that one” which is fucking rude and again, not how to respond to someone who just told you something deeply personal and painful for them. 

tbh, i don’t think bruce knew quite how to respond to what natasha told him and i think that’s pretty normal too. as someone who’s been in both situations (having someone tell me about their traumatic pasts and not quite knowing how to respond, and being the person who reveals something traumatic and the other person clearly being empathetic but not knowing what to say--like. it’s normal. it happens.)

so i think that plot point played out in a really raw, heartbreaking and realistic way and frankly i was genuinely surprised when i came home from the theater and saw people losing their minds and labeling it evil when it spoke to me so hard. 

anyways. i’m not trying to police other people’s reactions to the scene or say that it’s Definitively Not Sexist and You’re Wrong If You Think So, i think there’s room for nuance and varying opinions on it. it just bugs me when people act like it’s Definitively Yes Sexist and You’re Wrong If You Don’t Think So because it’s genuinely one of the most relatable (to me) representations of trauma i’ve ever seen. and i think there should room for that nuance and those opinions too.