#ping diguo

first of all, luo yiguo. or pingüino or whatever tf we're calling him now. (yes it's ping diguo i'm being funny) listen everything about this cat is wrong. first of all he tiny, when we all know perfectly well that luo yiguo is about the size of a capybara, a well-fed healthy dude who drinks red wine and gives no fucks that lwz calls him "spherical" and is always threatening him with a nonexistent diet. also, while priest doesn't ever say what color yiguo is, in all the audio drama art he's an orange tabby, sometimes with white markings; whereas on the manhua page for luo wenzhou, and in a lot of fan art as well, he's a rare male calico. definitely not black.

(i love the last one the most. look how cute he is down in the corner, asleep but still smiling. he has a sweet life. all is well in his soul.)

do i care, though, that this luo yiguo is the wrong color and size, and worst of all, has been renamed for a frying pan? no, no i do not care. i am a simple girl at heart. i see a person feeding a cat, and i am content. i honestly need nothing else from a drama. just: person. cat.

2. okay that first one was fun but now it's getting serious. just look at what the homosexuals are doing to me. what an OUTRAGE.

because here's THIS motherfucker. suddenly unbearably domestic in his fuzzy grey SWEATER or LONG UNDERWEAR or whatever this incredibly soft-looking garment is, that i definitely do not want to mash my face into or anything. you would never GUESS he spends his entire work life as a irritable hotheaded ill-tempered police captain constantly barking commands at his subordinates with a CIGARETTE hanging out of his belligerent mouth. instead this guy looks like he runs a gay B&B in vermont and bakes his own fresh blueberry muffins every morning for the guests. i literally hate him.

(what if the whole appeal for lwz of a live-in boyfriend is that he gets to pretend he has perpetual house guests? and he must anticipate and fulfil their every need? i'm not saying he's codependent but actually that's exactly what i'm saying, please see my forthcoming fic on this curiously misunderstood topic)

3. anyway so yes, i do suffer. but not as much as i suffer from what's coming next. because what on god's abandoned earth is THIS:

i'm sorry, WHAT NOW. what in the WHAT NOW? i've been looking at this still for over 16 hours and i'm still beside myself about it.

just. look how soft he is. it's the softest we've seen him yet, in this entire drama. no longer president fei. look how unguarded, how undefended. glasses off, barefaced, hair slightly mussed. (like maybe someone just blew it dry for example. or tangled their fingers in it while [redacted].) standing here hesitantly at the BEDROOM door in in his BATHROBE. watching lwz feed his (his) (their) cat.

he absolutely was and he is (cf. manhua that never got written, above); we all know that pingguo is not the one true yiguo.

howsomever! @boy-i-got-vision made the excellent point that, by being 1) pitch black and 2) tiny and trim and elegant, luo pingguo is in fact fei du coded. which is fair. in our hearts yiguo may remain a chubby calico or a ginger tabby beast, but this version also has merit.