#pigmonarch

After a couple seconds of fumbling, Tony takes his phone and hangs up, before awkwardly adjusting to fit his phone back into the pocket of his jacket. He sighs a little as he turns his full attention back to the traffic in front of him. It was pretty typical of Jeff to not answer his phone if he was in the middle of working, which made for rather annoying situations like this. Jeff was supposed to leave work early today, too, so the two of them would make it to their meeting on time, and it wasn’t like Jeff had a boss to keep him late.

He knew Jeff honest-to-god tried when it came to remembering things like this, and Tony felt bad for feeling a little upset with him. Since Jeff had gone and had that “adventure” (as Ness liked to call it) when they were children, Jeff had tried to avoid shutting himself out from the world and had worked so avidly to understand what made people tick instead of machines. It was like some sort of teenage rebellion against his absent-minded father, which stretched long into adulthood when Jeff seemed so determined to be a devoted partner when they married and an active parent when they decided to adopt their children. Not like Jeff’s father would have seen any of it, though, Tony mused to himself. The man had been missing for a while when Jeff started to make that effort.

But there were always things that slipped through the cracks like this. Tony knew it was Jeff’s second nature to be so focused on his work that everything else fell by the wayside. Oh, well. That’s what he was for.

Jeff’s laboratory was a secluded little building that didn’t draw attention to itself, except for a little plaque on the outside wall by the door that read “Gaia Prosthetics” and then, much smaller underneath, “Dr. J Andonuts”. Jeff’s car was still there, which meant he was either still at work or asleep on his desk again. Tony parked next to him, then hurried to the door, trying to check his watch and find his keys at the same time.

He stopped dead when he realized the door was already slightly ajar.

All thoughts of being late thrown aside, he shoves his keys back into his pocket. He hated that feeling of being afraid, like you were choking on air. Like you were drowning. Every time he felt choked up with anxiety, he felt like he was that little kid that had just been freed from a capsule of alien goo in Stonehenge Base. He hated how he was reminded of how he felt after the Starmen every time he panicked; when he felt suspended and surrounded and shivered while he clung to an old space blanket for warmth in Jeff’s father’s lab.

Tony also hated how quickly his mind assumed the worst. Jeff was fully capable of taking care of himself, much more so than he was, but the fear that permeated him didn’t leave. He pulled the door open with more force than he intended. “Jeff?”

The air inside was thick with the smell of blood.

“JEFF!”

Red was everywhere, striking among the white and silver and green that made up the rest of Jeff’s workspace. There was a large pool of blood that had spread and slipped into the crevices of the white tile floor, with streaks leading away from it to where it joined the second pool of blood. At the table next to it someone had left a distinct, bloody handprint. But at the center of the crimson that stained the room laid Tony’s husband.

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no--”

Tony could barely breathe. His eyes refused to focus and his mind refused to accept what his eyes showed him. No.

He reached where Jeff laid and fell to his knees, staining his pants with blood, but he didn’t care. Jeff’s arms laid at his sides, his old Baddest Beam that he’d made so long ago was discarded right by his side. And right in the center of Jeff’s thin stomach was something that made Tony’s blood run cold and his stomach turn over and he wanted to run out of the building and vomit.

Someone had stabbed Jeff with a screwdriver. One of Jeff’s screwdrivers. There were bloody fingerprints on it, almost as if they were daring Tony to ask if there was any proof that this was real. He couldn’t look anymore. He could barely stand to look at Jeff’s face, to look at the color that was drained from his cheeks and the trickle of blood that had escaped his mouth and ran down his chin to his neck.

“Jeff,” Tony managed in a choked half-whisper, his eyes burning with tears. He reached out a hand to touch Jeff’s cheek and recoiled when it was cold. More frantically, he checked Jeff’s crimson-stained wrist, then under his ear. Nothing. Jeff had stopped breathing long ago.

“What happened to you?”

When Tony and Jeff began their relationship,  Tony would tell anyone that would listen multiple times that Jeff was the most striking person he’d ever seen, that Jeff was the best person he’d ever met. He still did. But when he looked at the body of Jeff Andonuts, at his wavy blond hair and closed eyelids that hid these beautiful icy blue eyes and his face that finally had a fullness to it and held too many freckles for him to count, it slowly started to sink in that this person wasn’t Jeff anymore. The intelligence, the stubbornness and recklessness and refusal to leave until he’d finished his work and the way that he always wanted to do the right thing; the way he’d adjust his glasses when he was nervous and how he couldn’t iron his clothing and and how he hugged his friends and his children and his pets and Tony so tightly, and how despite everything he’d gone through he kept a smile on his face and believed people had the capacity to be better. That was gone. Jeff was gone.

And that’s what made the levee break.

Tony’s trembling hands clutched desperately at Jeff’s lab coat and tears fell amidst the drying blood as Tony sobbed.

“This can’t be real. It can’t. This is just another nightmare, like wi-with the St-Starmen, and you’re going to wake me up and kiss me on the temple like you always do and tell me that everything is going to be okay and that… th-that thing you always say. Th-that part when you hold me and say ‘The War Again-st-st Giygas is over,” Tony hiccuped, almost shaking Jeff’s body with how badly he was trembling.

“And I’ll wa-wake up and tell you y-you’re an idiot for not-- not answering your phone,” he continued to ramble, hoping in some kind of naive way that maybe if he made enough noise Jeff would stir, “and you prom.. Promised me that you’d always c-call. Because when you don’t you scare me t-to death bec-because you do st-stupid, stupid things, Jeffrey Andonuts!” His tone was becoming more frantic, becoming higher in pitch.

“You’re s-so smart but so dumb at the s-same time and I love you so, so much! S-so you can’t leave me! You promised you wouldn-wouldn’t lea-leave again!”

It was there that Tony’s voice broke and he collapsed, face buried in his hands, his choked sobs intermingled with the gentle humming and beeping of the machines.

Tony wasn’t sure how long he cried, but he only stopped when he was too exhausted to cry anymore. Finally, after what felt like hours, he lifted his head from his hands and winced at the brightness of the light. He needed to call someone. Ambulance. Police. He’d wasted too much time, Jeff’s attacker could be anywhere by now.

He shakily stood up, knees coated and hands and face spattered with blood. After a moment of hesitation, he took out his phone again, leaning against the nearby table. It was when he dialed the ambulance and lifted his phone to his ear that he stared at the handprint on the table. It was odd. It couldn’t be Jeff’s handprint, Jeff had thin hands and long fingers, and besides, that handprint was much too small.

Wait...

The small feeling of doubt that bubbled up within him was quickly squashed by guilt. No, he knew Jeff. There was a struggle here, and Jeff had lost, but Jeff wouldn’t attack unless he’d needed to. Tony trusted him. But still..

The operator picked up on the other end of the line and asked Tony what his emergency was. Tony answered as best he could, voice heavy with grief and exhaustion, but a chill still went up his spine.