#piemaggedon

Mercedes had heard about the event from Edelgard as her partner sternly warned her against participating, due to her injury the last time it occurred, and Mercedes agreed, so here she was, sitting in the infirmary, waiting for the inevitable students and teachers alike wandered in with bruises and scrapes and any other possible injuries.

She was getting worried as she looked out at the pie-covered campus, eyes darting around to spot the players and try to assess any potential injuries from afar. Her lips pushed into a small pout as she came to the conclusion that she couldn’t make any real diagnoses from her spot on the second floor.

She wonders idly how the plucky groundskeeper was going to react, considering her seething anger last time.

...

Mozu stands at the front of a classroom, looking as blindingly angry as a normally jovial 5′2″ woman can be. This effect is likely enhanced by the tall, intimidating blonde at the blackboard.

“Y’all,” she begins, accent thickened in her anger, “are here t’day cuz you participated in-” she makes air-quotes with her hands, “Piemaggedon,” her hands drop. “Now, I don’t give rat’s ass ‘bout yer social position, ‘r yer standin’ here at the monastery, like if yer a noble ‘r an heir ‘r a gods-damned professor- All y’all should be f-” Xander clears his throat, in a very loud, very dad-like manner at just the right moment to drown out the curse. “-in’ ashamed ‘a yerselves- How many ‘a yah have starved durin’ the winter? How many ‘a yah have seen folks starve to death ‘r get damn near close?” She glowers at the crowd of pie-criminals. “D’you know how much gods-damn food y’all just wasted? D’you know how many gods-damned people those ingredients and pies coulda fed?! Y’all should be gods-damned ashamed!” Xander by the chalkboard looks entirely too enamored with his rage-filled wife, which she doesn’t notice. She stops herself, visibly takes a deep, deep breath, and lets it out. It does not seem to quell her rage, but she seems less likely to surge forward to throttle someone after doing so. She looks down at the array of pie-criminals again.

“Now, y’all ‘r gonna get a lesson ‘bout how things are fer folks who ain’t noble, an’ I will stop yah if yah try an’ leave, cuz clearly y’all never learned this before. Any questions?”

...................................................................................................

[Roll: 11 - hit]

Ah, Cynthia. His old friend. He’s busy trying to sort out some math in his head right now, but he spares her a nod and a wave before continuing to pace. He registers the pie in her hands too little, too late. “Perish,” she’d said - wait, what? It’s just as he’s turning to face her in question that he receives the missile to the side of his face. It flops to the floor, leaving just a bit of cream stuck to his cheek and hair. Unblinking, he reaches a sleeve up to wipe it away.

That was twice, now. Was something going on?

Roll: 3! (again lmao) 

Hairs stood up on the back of Ingio’s neck. Growing up on a battlefield, he learned to trust his intuition. He ducked, hearing both Leon’s cry and the pie whistling overhead. A valiant effort, to be sure, but it would take far more than a sneak attack and battle cry to get ol’ Inigo! 

ROLL: 13.

“Huh? No, wait!” But no amount of begging was going to save poor Ignatz. The poor boy got slapped so hard upside the head it made a satisfying thwacking noise on contact

So sad for Ignatz however, the Wind magic might have been a bit much so suddenly. His gentle frame was slammed into the ground in an instant.

Niles sighs softly, "I am so sorry that these kids did this. I am sure all of them will spend time cleaning it up. Xander and you, my stunning lady should go relax." He was trying to compliment her, so incase if she new about the shower room he would go easy on him. Most of what he said was just to piss off other students. Niles attempts to hold back a smug grin. He is sure Mozu knows most of what he said is sarcasm and him being his usual self, but still it would never hurt to try.

She was heading to her quarters, still seething when Niles called out. She half relaxed at his words, but snorted. “Yeah, yeah, thanks-” Her eyes narrow. “But if I find out you done went an’ lied tah me just now yer gonna have a big storm comin’, buckeroo.” Then she sighs in reply.

“I know they will- hell, some’a ‘em are already tidyin’, but I’m-” her voice hardens. “I’m more mad at the gods damned waste! That- that had t’have been so much food, Niles.” Another sigh. “I remember starvin’ half ta death a few winters, so it just- it ruffles my feathers.” She breathes out through her nose. “But I’ve got somethin’ in mind, so I don’t need tah be this... Well, I don’t need tah madder than a hornet’s nest in hell. An’ you don’t gotta apologize for ‘em- they’re kids, so I expect some foolin’ about- and before you say nothin’ funny you know what I meant-” 

a moment of silence, “cynthia and caspar should be the main ones punished, too. a lot of us were unwillingly pulled into the war, since they trapped the grounds back to the dorms. we had no choice but to defend ourselves.” [2/2]

She took one damn look at this kid and knew he would be miserable to deal with- he looked like Setsuna what with the tired eyes and bored voice, except he also looked smart in a calculated way like Nyx was, which was not a combination that seemed smart in any sense, but he was here. Then he spoke and she was certain her assessment had been right. Her glower darkens.

“So, yer argument is that they were gonna be trashed at some point. If that’s the case, why don’t’chu take ‘em ‘fore they trash ‘em an’ pass ‘em out to the less fortunate? An’ from what all I saw, y’all had way more pies than what all the merchants ‘round here whip on up.” She crosses her arms to stop the temptation of reaching for her damn hunting knife. 

“A handful bein’ almost expired don’t mean nothin’- yall had a damn cart-full worth ‘a pies. Havin’ three pies outta one hundred be almost-bad don’t make it f-” Xander again seems to have perfectly timed a deafening sneeze to drown out the curse. “-in’ okay. An’ it ain’t the merchant’s fault neither- they didn’t decide to make a sugary mess ‘a the campus- hell, they prob’ly didn’t know y’all were gonna have a damn food fight like a bunch ‘a toddlers! They ain’t to blame, they’re prob’ly hard workin’ folks tryin’ to make due fer their fam’lies. Y’all, however-” She pulls out her hunting knife, driving it into the table in a spot that just so happened to have multiple stab marks- Shamir probably taught in here as well. The knife settles impressively deep in the wood. She almost growls.

“Y’all decided tah go on and participate! An’ you weren’t unwillin’ly pulled in- just cuz you got hit by one pie don’t mean you gotta suddenly go on a pie-rampage tah get revenge! Defendin’ yerself from a violent attack is different from ‘defendin’ yerself’ from gettin’ involved in a gods-damned disaster uv’a childish game! One is gods-damned optional, an’ y’all sure as hell weren’t coerced at knifepoint tah join in yer little play-war. An’ there’s more than one way tah get on over to the dorms, and two folks like them ain’t known fer tactical genius in settin’ up bottlenecks ‘r nothin’. None ‘a y’all were trapped, you just didn’t wanna go through the effort ‘a goin’ the long way ‘round!” She is clearly seething, and Xander gives a concerned glance, but says nothing.