#pie solves everything

there's no way in hell I'm ever going to tell my dad.  Maybe my half-brother if I ever see him again though.

Anyways, back to the important stuff.  Ways to tell my mom I'm bi.

Just tell her: No that lacks originality and class. 

Tell her in a fancy ass card: Nope, this is not a card occasion. 

Text her: If i can't break up with someone over a text. there's no way in hell I'm going to tell my mom i'm bi over a text. 

Make her a bi-pie?  DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER. 

Now, you may be asking yourself, what the hell is a bi-pie.  Random Citizen, a bi-pie is simply the most delicious thing on earth, aside from me.

You simply make a fruit pie, but instead of making it a single fruit pie, you bisect it into two different fruit fillings.  One half would be say, blueberry, the other, perhaps, raspberry.  and what your left with is a delicious bi-flavored pie that can be enjoyed by everybody.  

I mean, say you prefer blue berry pie instead of raspberry pie.  Simply take a slice of pie from the blueberry side of the pie.  Same goes for if you prefer a raspberry pie to blueberry.  

But here's where it gets fun.  What if you prefer both flavors?

Simple.  Take a piece of pie from where the two flavors intersect.  Then you'll have the perfect bi-pie experience.