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Does anyone have more songs that sound like Mysterious Ways (Skyra) and A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Appalachia? They sound like what I feel like, an eternal creature of decay. They're both such beautiful pieces
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This fantasy podcast (Spout Lore) really influences how I experience being fae, and part of it is faerie rings. They're just spaces of protection, where things can't get in. I decided to try that out with stuff under my bed, and sitting there in therl dark, I felt a lot more protected than when I sat there without it. Thanking that podcast for giving me a little space to be alive in the dark without feeling primal fear
I wonder how plural "we were" before we became Theo. Before we replaced that child. Because I've been around for so long. Eons, even. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm plural because I'm fae, but also trauma (at least this time around). I wonder if I've been here since the beginning, or it was someone else then they left and I became the host. I wonder what alters we had before they went dormant. I wonder if we had any fictives, from sources from hundreds of years ago, from plays and books. I wonder who we told, if anyone. I wonder how they reacted. I wonder if our plurality was different, full switches, if we didn't even have the things that make us plural now.
So many questions that I don't have the answers to. I'll get them on day though. When I can rot again.
Drew myself in school today
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I've been wondering how my therianthropy and lycanthropy interacts with me being fae. Are they caused by me being fae? Or are they just something I happen to exhibit and being fae isn't the cause? For my lycanthropy, why can I turn into a wolf physically and have it be visible and drastically change my perception of reality while transformed, but not the other forms I take under the veil? Why does the veil allow wolf to pass through but nothing else? Why does it take so long and hurt, but when I shift into anything else I just quickly and painlessly melt into another form, no bones stretching and skin breaking?
So many questions that I don't have the answers for. For now, at least. I feel like they want me back home, so maybe I'll get the answers sooner than I've expected. But I do wonder if I'll remember what my questions even were when I get home.
I can feel my grip on functioning properly slipping. Whatever made me act human dissolving, it getting increasingly hard to focus on anything, words getting harder to understand, the feeling of longing and guilt. I wonder if it is my time to come back. I have stuff here though. I hqtw school but I have people there I like, so I'll stay longer for them. But I really do think they want me back. And I wanna go home. But I and them can wait a little longer.
Ngl, I could never work with the fae. I feel like I would be too much just like. A human working with other humans. Coworkers.
Like, I'M fae. Ur not special just because you don't have to go to school in the hellhole that is the American public education system 🙄 /silly
