“a Sensitive boy.” is a photographic series of self portraits exploring the emotions men are programmed not to share and a deep dive into my past experiences that created the bravado. I use myself as a canvas to express in rich symbolism my physical and mental dimorphism, my struggles with conceiving another child, my fight between masculinity and sensitivity, and the internal/external scars from my youth.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been ridiculed for my size, bullied and teased. Rather tame words for what I would call abused. All for the simple fact that I was different. I was harassed for my weight, how I dressed, the way I talked, and even the way I thought and saw the world.
As an artist now it’s embraced, but as a child I was just considered by others weird. Being exiled I was on the receiving end of countless words of torture, verbal punches overlooked by authority figures because it wasn’t physical. Emotionally knocked out, crying was my only release for all the pain I felt until I reached my teens and started responding with fists. Since the words thrown at me were overlooked and my response considered the initiation I was labeled the troubled one.
Looked down upon by those above and an outcast by my peers I was alone through most of my childhood. Unfortunately the emotional scarring of that era is still present. Fortunately I have the tools now to respond.
