#phasma x f!reader

“Y/N.”

“Phasma.”

She ran a hand through her hair, not that hair like hers was ever out of place. No doubt she’d been asleep. She tried to blink away the evidence of that a few times. “What can I -”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you blurted out. “And I was cold.”

Phasma squinted at you and sighed. Her lips began to upturn just slightly at the corners. You wouldn’t have noticed it if you hadn’t memorized that scowl over the last few months.

She poked her head out into the hall, passing her body close to yours. You didn’t move. She stole a quick glance around, and, noticing no one, jerked her head towards her quarters. “Come in.” She allowed a smile to briefly cross her lips.

Anxious, you slipped past her quickly and headed for her bed. You took off your boots and coat before she even made it to her bedroom. The bed was still warm with her body heat where she’d been lying minutes ago.

The blankets were pulled up to your neck before she’d caught up with you. “Any room for me in there?”

Unspeaking, you rolled over to the far side of the bed and felt the mattress depress under Phasma’s weight behind you.

“This is certainly unexpected,” Phasma said in your ear as she curled up around you.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. You couldn’t let youd mind wander to tomorrow or the conversation you just had. “I, uh, just needed some company.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked. She pulled on your shoulder, coaxing you to roll over to face her.

You rolled over willingly, but snuggled into her neck to hide your face. “Yep.” Your voice sounded strained and forced, so you added, “It is now.”

You inhaled deeply. All the scents you took in were standard issue. But they were so undeniably Phasma. Even when you smelled them in your quarters, she always came to mind. As you exhaled, your breath fanned across the exposed area of her collarbone, and you leaned in and place a gentle kiss on the pale skin.

She hummed in content, but the noise was almost inquisitive. She gripped you tightly around your body and brought her other arm across to secure you there. “May I ask you something?”

You nodded against her.

She sighed heavily, lifting the parts of your body that were resting against her chest. You could hear her heartbeat quicken beneath the ear that was pressed against her skin. You hadn’t ever known Phasma to be flustered. Even during the more intimate encounters you’d had with her, you’d never seen so much as a dusting of blush on her cheeks.

“Are you-.” She stopped, swallowing. “Are you leaving me?”

Kriff.

You tensed up immediately and tried to sit up, but her grip around you only tightened.

Kriff. She’s going to kill me. She’s going to kill me and no one will know.

You opened your mouth but couldn’t articulate anything, neither the truth nor a lie.

“Please be honest with me.”

Phasma’s voice was even more pained now. She knew. She had to know. Even worse than her knowing would be her thinking that any of this wasn’t real, when everything you had felt for her had been anything but forced.

“Yes,” you managed to say.

“They’re calling you back, aren’t they?”

You pulled away quickly this time, before she could contain you. You moved away from her on the bed, but your back was up against the wall.

“Y/N, please.”

She sat up to reach out towards you, but you shuffled across the foot of the bed and hopped off before she could reach you.

You scooped up your boots and left your jacket, tripping over yourself to get to the door. You had to get out. Get back to your room. Get the comlink. Move up the extraction. You had to get out. You had to get out now.

The noises around you were muffled, far away. You think you heard your name, sharp and clipped and pleading. Your socked footsteps sounded so slow. The door seemed to far away.

A flash of white smeared your vision, and by the time you reached the door, Phasma was standing in front of it.

You dropped your boots and began to push against Phasma, landing soft punches on her muscular body. Within seconds, Phasma’s chilly, bony hands were clasped against your wrists, holding them in front of you.

“Y/N!”

You pulled against her hands, but you were no match for her. You barely moved in her grasp.

“Listen to me,” she commanded. Her bright eyes were pained, staring deeply into yours, as if she was trying to communicate in other ways. “You’re not in danger.”

There was a strangely calming effect to looking at Phasma. She was so brilliant. When in uniform, her armor shone brightly, commanding attention and admiration. Underneath, her skin and hair were bright as stars, her eyes like ice. It was half the reason you’d fallen - stupidly fallen - for her, for a First Order captain.

You clenched your jaw but relaxed your arms. Phasma didn’t let go. “You knew. That I’m…” You couldn’t finish. You couldn’t admit it. Part of you hoped she didn’t know, and you didn’t want to give it away yourself.

“That you’re a spy.” She nodded. “I’ve known. For a while.”

Your eyes fell to the ground. You couldn’t face her anymore. “Why?” you asked. You didn’t need to elaborate. She knew what you meant. Why am I still here? Why didn’t you turn me in? Why am I still alive?

She let go of your wrists, but you didn’t move away. Her hands felt like ice against your face as she cupped it in her grip. “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

You raised your eyes to meet her cautiously. Warmth pricked beneath your eyelids. You knew if you blinked you’d release the tears that had built up there.

“You were happy with me, right?”

You nodded weakly, but found your words this time. “Am. I am happy with you.”

Phasma stared at you for a beat before slowly moving in to meet your lips with hers.  Her tongue made its way past your lips, exploring and teasing like it had so many other times. But it all felt different now. When she pulled away, her teeth dragged across your bottom lip ravenously.

She rested her forehead against yours. “Let’s get some sleep, alright?”

Phasma guided you back to her bed, her hand on your lower back. You slid in and she climbed in behind you, and you curled up as you had been minutes ago, as if nothing had happened.

“How did you know?”

Phasma let out a short, clipped laugh, as if suddenly recalling a fond memory. “I saw you one morning, while I was heading to the hangar bay. I knew I had never seen you before; I would have remembered.” She paused, tugging you closer to her. “And I wanted to know who you were. So, I began to ask around.”

You winced. You hated how embarrassingly obvious the whole situation was. “Alright. I get it.”

“Oh, no,” Phasma laughed. “You have to suffer through the entire thing, just like I did.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing she couldn’t see you. “Fine.”

“I asked around. And no one seemed to be able to give me an answer. I began to search the databases for your file. I found one picture and a rank explanation. No background, no medical files. Even Hux couldn’t explain the insufficient information.”

You chuckled. “Hux.”

“See? You know by now. Fools, the lot of them.”

She paused, no doubt reminiscing.

“By the time I had figured it out for myself, a few days had already passed, and -”

“The training room showers,” you interrupted, recalling where you’d first laid eyes on Phasma.

“The training room showers,” she repeated in agreement. “You posed no threat to me, and I figured you’d be gone soon enough. That someone else would find you out. I clearly underestimated the capabilities of my superiors.”

“And here we are,” you whispered.

“Yes.” Her voice was seriously suddenly, jolting you back to reality. “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.” There was no use lying. Whether you told her or not, you’d be gone either way.

“I’ll miss you,” Phasma said. The softness of her words struck you.

You closed your eyes, and a warm tear slipped down your cheek and absorbed into her shirt. “I’ll miss you too.”

Phasma breathed a heavy, shaky breath and pulled you closer. Her breathing evened out shortly, syncing with yours, and within minutes, the two of you drifted off to sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, Phasma’s side of the bed was empty and cold. You didn’t linger.

You found your boots and coat neatly stacked by the door. There was something draped over your boots. The fabric was black and heavy, a thick red stripe alone one edge. A note was attached.