#phase04

I've never written one of these for a show i've been to so excuse me if it's clumsy. My concert buddies and I were aiming to get to the venue in the a.m. hours but Brittney and I took so long on hair and makeup that we didn't get there until noon. Oops.

It was Ridiculously hot and sweaty outside and I am not from Texas, i'm from near Seattle so i'm not used to it. And i didnt bring sunblock. My bf brought me some partway through the day but I still got a little burned. Met a lot of friends in the line that helped make it feel less than the 6 and a half hour wait it was. Signed the banner for the band and some Birthday cards for Reita.

The WT19 Documentary staff walked by with the camera and actually interviewed me! I thought I did well but my friends later teased me to death about talking too much and telling my whole life story so idk;;;; I still hope they use a bit of it because I didn't get in the WT16 dvd at all even though I went to LA.

I was VIP so the early entry was a lifesaver. Managed to be near the front of the merch line and actually snagged a Kai and an Uruha bear keychain. Ruki was sold out before I even saw it and Reita sold out a few people in front of me. I also got a tshirt and a hoodie but it was the bears I was REALLY hoping really bad I could get because I didn't own any yet.

And I still managed to get a really good spot after so I'm glad I didn't feel pressured to skip the merch line in favor of a spot. I wasn't directly at the barricade, i had probably 3 or 4 people in front of me. But to me it was perfect because I could see all the members without craning my neck instead of just the one close to me, and I was still way close enough to see all their beautiful faces in detail.

I don't rememeber the setlist in order whatsoever but other people posted it so. Anyway. Falling was Awesome and the first song after the intro. I was mostly distracted in awe just to be standing so close to them all. At the last show I couldn't afford VIP and I was stuck way up in a balcony. So this was just Surreal to me.

A lot of the middle is such a blur but I remember feeling like I had never smiled so wide in my whole entire life and no matter what they played I would have been happy. I was even So excited to hear Filth in the Beauty even though I usually complain about how overplayed it is. I know they played Dogma, which I heard at the last tour of course, but it was Way better being this close and personal.

Aoi is increadibly magnetic and attractive. There's no way to explain it. It's not just that he's hot- mind you, of course he Is, but.. something about him. The way he carries himself. Its hard to take your eyes off of him. The rest is pretty much what other people say, confirmed. Uruha makes a lot of Weird faces, especially during solos. But its super cute. Ruki has not gotten Any better at dancing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Kai is all smiles. Reita's always bobbing his head with the music like a little parakeet. I don't know what to say. Its all so much more touching being there to see it up close.

The last song of the encore was Tomorrow Never Dies and I was just.. crying the whole time honestly. Any final song would be a little emotional but they had to choose That one. It defeinitely got to me.

After the show VIP was immediately lining up for the meet and greet and I was confused about where to go. But we found it. I waited and took some post-show selfies with Brittney. The whole experience was just.. even more special being with my best friend after so long.

-The meet and greet.-

It was. Interesting. I was not prepared.

The line moved a lot faster than I was expecting and before I knew it my boyfriend pointed out that they were right there and Holy Shit he was right. I needed to get my gifts out of my bag and ready Pronto, because I made Ruki a drawing on the plane and I made Uruha a cute little gift bag with specially made stickers, a kitkat and a note I wrote him. (I wanted something for everyone but work got in the way and I ran out of time..) ANYWAY my baggie for Uruha got caught in the zipper of my purse. Like. Really caught bad. The line was still moving. Panic ensued. My boyfriend was behind me so i asked him to help if he could. He couldn't get it.

Then Aoi was right in front of me. The caught present would have to wait for later. I don't remember exactly what I said. A stammering excited ramble while we clasped hands. He was an amazing guitarist, beautiful, things like that. He makes eye contact. They all make good eye contact but especually Aoi. They all have soft warm hands. But each handshake passes in the blink of an eye before I can process it. My brain is a scrambled mess.

Reita. I thank him and pause briefly to think of something personal I can actually say to him. I gave an enthusiastic "You Rock", to which he smiles and agrees with a nod. "Yes!", he says. It was really cute. Probably could have said something more meaningful but at least i'm sure he understood me. Mostly everyone else got an incoherent mess of trying to say as much as I could in such a brief time period.

Ruki. I totally forget I have a present for him by the way. Im holding his hands and busy being Dazzled at how gorgeous he is in person. It's incredible. I tell him he's an amazing singer and i've always looked up to him. Throw in a few other compliments in the fleeting moment before I have to move on. Not sure how much he understands but he smiles and thanks me a couple times.

Kai. He's just glowing and beaming. Smiles so bright. Its very cute. I tell him hes an awesome drummer. I honestly forget what else I said. As I was moving between him and Uruha I remembered Uruhas stuck present. And that made me remember I was supposed to give Ruki a present. Oh shit. Panic. Reach in my bag and slide the piece of paper across the table to him. "Sorry! This is for you!" I don't mean to be chaotic I just really want him to have it. Luckily its my own boyfriend I interrupted his meeting with. Ruki seems amused and thanks me again. Hopefully he actually is and doesnt think i'm rude.

Fiddling with the god damned stuck gift bag as I step over to Uruha in a panic. Eyes wide. Stop to shake his hands. No freaking clue what I even ramble out to him I forget. Im panicking over the present because I dont have long til I have to go. I let go of his hands to fiddle with it again because I Really want him to have it. I worked really hard on it. I realize last second that i can just pull the gifts Out of the little baggie and drop them out on the table in front of him in a panic. "Kit-kat.." I drop it. He thanks me. Im sure I look like a mess. Not sure if he's frightened or flatterd by my determination as the staff starts to try to usher me along. "Stickers-!" I say as I put those down too. Really not sure he even understood what that meant. He might just think its a drawing. Don't know. But he of course thanks me. The poor staff lady is tapping at my shoulder trying to get me to leave. I still have the notecard that has to go with the stickers. I'm apologizing repeatedly to everyone involved as I finally get that to him as well and leave as quickly as possible so as to not cause chaos or hold up the line.

I get outside and meet back up with Brittney and my boyfriend who of course think the whole ordeal was Hilarious. I am mortified and I hope Uruha doesn't think i'm a lunatic. I like to tell myself he probably just thought it was funny but I have no way to know.