#phanficationcatalogue

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It was the abrupt sound of pulled curtains and the sudden appearance of bright light behind Dan’s eyes that woke him, jarring him from a nasty sleep full of dark dreams that made little to no sense in the morning, but left Dan feeling a sort of dread in the pit of his stomach. He moaned as he rolled over in the satin sheets of his bed, and tried to pull the covers over his head to block out the light that surrounded him now, so very different from the darkness of his dreams and the pulsating music from last night.

“Get up, Prince Daniel,” an acerbic voice Dan recognized all too well called to him, voice loud in the silence of the early morning.

“Don’ ‘anna,” Dan moaned in response, rolling over once more in an attempt to bury himself in a burrito of his sheets. There was a knowing sigh in response- the only sound other than breathing in the Prince’s room and then a light touch against Dan’s back. Dan knew what was coming before it happened.

In one swift movement, Dan’s personal butler grabbed hold of the end of Dan’s duvet, and yanked it from Dan’s naked body, exposing him rather suddenly to the sheer chill of the early morning air.

With a loud yelp, Dan jerked upwards in bed, and shouted, “‘K, ‘M up!” like the hungover young adult that he was. His eyes popped wide open, taking in his surroundings, and he drew his body in itself in an attempt to keep warm, uncaring for his nude state in front of the man who had seen far worse things from Dan.

Frederick, Dan’s butler from birth, stood at the foot of Dan’s bed holding his duvet in his hands with a look of shuttered amusement on his face, something Dan had gotten quite used to. He always did his best to appear stern with Dan, but Dan had long since learned of the man’s affection for him, and he’d never let it go.

Reaching up with a wide yawn, Dan carded his fingers through his curly hair, pushing back his fringe so it sat more as a quiff against his forehead, and scratched aimlessly at his other arm as he worked to wake himself up. He couldn’t quite remember what day it was as he blinked blearily around his room, unsurprised to find his late night conquest from the day before gone. Dan was certain Frederick had escorted them out early that morning to keep the prince safe from strange attempts on his life or his heart, and for that, Dan was thankful.

Still he wasn’t entirely sure why he had been awoken so early as well. Normally, Frederick let Dan sleep in on the weekends; the time when Dan was free from royal duties and unneeded in the throne room for people’s requests. Dan had long since finished his schooling, and his swords master was on a long trip to visit his family this month, so Dan wasn’t expected to meet with him either. The sight of the rising sun so clear at his window showed that it was certainly early morning and not afternoon, though, so there was no doubt in Dan’s mind that something was going on.

Frederick stepped forward then, handing Dan a cracker, a tablet, and a glass of water, of which Dan knew was for his hangover. Smiling goofily up at his butler, Dan took the items agreeably enough, and choked down the medication with a look of utter disgust on his face he could never hide no matter how hard he tried. Frederick laughed at him in turn.

“Perhaps the young master should refrain from getting drunk every night, and he wouldn’t have to take such medicine anymore,” Frederick stated pleasantly enough. If Dan hadn’t liked him as much as he did, he might have thrown the glass at him in turn, but he refrained and merely rolled his eyes instead.

“You’ve said before, Frederick,” Dan replied plainly. Then, realizing that he was unlikely to be allowed back to sleep now that he was up, and feeling really rather chilly without any clothing on or his duvet to curl up under, Dan stood with another yawn and stretched his limbs until his joints popped pleasantly. Frederick averted his gaze politely, but did not move from his place at the end of Dan’s bed. “Now what is that you’ve awoken me so early for?” Dan asked, taking a step toward his wardrobe, only to wobble dangerously as a sharp pain shifted through his backside that reminded him of just what he’d been up to last night.

Dan winced, caught himself, and sighed. That was a pain he was rather used to, but it was always difficult for the first few hours afterwards. He’d just have to endure.

As Dan moved to his wardrobe to dress, Frederick cleared his throat to explain his presence there.

“As you might remember, Prince Daniel,” he began, a sentence that made Dan snort as they both knew he did not remember what was going on, “Your parents are expecting your trip to begin to today. You did promise to be on your way by the end of the month, after all.”

That’s when the words hit Dan, and a watery memory he’d been seeking to bury under uninhibited quantities of alcohol for the last three weeks came rushing back at him, nearly burying him in the same, unidentifiable shame he’d felt when his parents had first instructed him on what he was to do.

Dan was being sent off to find a suitable partner from their neighboring kingdom where King Lester resided, in an attempt to not only stop Dan from sleeping around with their own subjects, but to finally unite their kingdoms in a very finite way. Dan groaned, and dropped his hand from where he’d been reaching for his court clothes, realizing that the day had finally come where Dan would have to leave.

Riding leathers it would have to be, then.

“Tell me again, Frederick,” Dan started sadly, shifting to the back of his wardrobe to find the right kind of long underwear to cover his privates and prevent his legs from chafing too much, “Why my parents are making me do this?”

Dan already knew the answer, and Frederick did too, but it didn’t matter. They both knew Dan wasn’t looking for any real answers. He was merely groaning the way he always did when his parents forced him to do things that he didn’t want to.

Frederick answered Dan anyway.

“As the eldest Prince, you are required to find a suitable partner to rule at your side until your death.”

Dan rolled his eyes.

“And if it isn’t a woman,” Dan mocked back, quoting his father’s terribly annoying words, “Then it will be your younger brother’s duty to continue the family line.”

Dan had never once been ashamed of his pre-declination towards men before, and though his parents had never strictly forbidden it, they had made it clear that it would merely shame him if after his death it wasn’t his own child that inherited the throne, but his brother’s. Too bad for the King that Dan literally didn’t care, and good for him that his brother was far more interested in women than Dan was.

That was the only positive coming out of this whole finding a partner in the neighboring kingdom thing. At least Dan wasn’t being forced into wedlock with a woman of all things. Still, he didn’t have to be happy about any of it. If Dan were to have his way, he’d not only never marry, but he’d cede the kingdom to his brother as well.

King Howell was never going to allow that though, so Dan had no choice but to go along with his wishes.

“If I may, Prince Daniel,” Frederick suddenly asked, coming up behind Dan to help him shrug on his leather tunic, the one to protect him from the winds as he rode. Dan allowed it, and inclined his head for his butler to continue. “Why are you so against marriage?”

Dan hesitated. No one had ever asked him that question before, and it came as a surprise to hear the question now. It wasn’t that Dan was against marriage, per se, it was more that… well. Call him old fashioned, but Dan wasn’t into the whole forced marriage thing

“Prince’s don’t get to marry for love, Frederick. They marry for duty,” he finally said. “And while I’d love to marry for love, the chances of my marrying anyone who didn’t just want me for my status, is next to nil.”

Frederick didn’t reply, and Dan didn’t continue. His thoughts turned inward, his heart aching at the realization that even now, leaving his own kingdom for another, he would still be in danger of finding no one better suited to him than those he slept with night after night in his own kingdom. At least they knew better than to expect an offer to stay, and merely took the money Dan handed to them quietly without asking for anything more. The people in the Lester’s Kingdom, Dan could not say the same for, and he could not deny that he feared the predators who he might end up bringing home.

It didn’t help that Dan was quite close with the Lesters. Their two kingdoms had been in peace negotiations for years, and Dan had grown up with the Lester children at his side since he was a boy. That would all be well and good if Dan hadn’t gone and fallen in love with the youngest, Prince Philip, the most beautiful man Dan had ever known, inside and out. He’d long since come to terms with the fact that he could never have the other prince, and had taken out his frustrations on men of his own kingdom who looked like Phil by courting them and taking him to his bed over and over again.

No one could ever truly replace Phil, though, and it had been a hard pill to swallow when Dan had realized he would not only never get to marry Phil, but he’d be forced to unite their kingdoms by marrying a man of Phil’s home. How much crueler could his family get? They were unintentionally allowing him so close to the object of his affections, only to prevent him from grasping hold - not that it was their fault Dan would never have the prince, at least not technically.

Dan thought his parents might not completely flip if Dan chose to marry a prince, rather than just some dignitary’s son, but Dan would never get the chance. Prince Philip had always been so far from Dan, despite being right there his entire life. Phil could never love Dan, not like Dan loved Phil, and it had long since been a lost cause.

Dan sighed as Frederick continued to help him prepare for his long journey that morning, and tried to pretend that his life was not about to come to an end.

**

The journey to the Lester’s Kingdom was a familiar one to Dan. He’d gone many times before, though usually not alone, and was familiar with the dark trails through forests and roads that would take him to his best friend’s doorstep. He’d driven in carriages before, and rode his own horse many times, but never for the purpose he was taking the trail now.

Normally, Dan went for a visit with Phil, to spend a month or two with the man his parents knew Dan had always been close to, but never before had he gone without Phil knowing of his coming, or without the express purpose in mind to visit with his Prince. The idea of doing so now put a damper on the journey that had used to excite Dan so, and he sighed as he rode atop his horse with a bag of supplies against his back.

The journey was a relatively short one, a good week from one capital to the next, but without the pleasure of making up plans of ways to steal away the Prince’s attention once he arrived, it felt longer this time. Dan was bored out of his mind, having refused a detail of guards to accompany him when he’d left early Sunday morning, and suddenly regretted the lack of company. At least the guards would have been good for small talk, maybe a good romp in the hay, but instead Dan had chosen to take this journey alone.

Maybe Dan had just been hoping he’d find a good few farm men to sleep with once he’d crossed the border, maybe even considered for a moment to take them home, but it didn’t matter now. Dan had crossed the border yesterday afternoon, but he’d stuck to the shadows of the trails he knew like the back of his hand, and avoided civilians like the plague. It was completely contrary to his original plans, self sabotage, and yet Dan, couldn’t bring himself to care.

In fact, Dan couldn’t bring himself to care about much of anything these days. For the past month, he’d been dreading the moment he’d actually have to leave on this journey, and it had left his life feeling incredibly pointless. Maybe that was why his exploits with the men of the kingdom had gotten so much more… frequent, recently.

Not to mention messy. Dan hadn’t thought he’d ever have a threesome, but, well…

If the second man hadn’t looked like a carbon copy of Dan himself, he probably would have been too jealous to let anyone be involved in his fun with the Phil lookalike, but no one needed to know about that. It was fine now anyway. Dan just needed to get to the capital, and start spending time with known Duke’s and higher up’s. Perhaps he could even settle for a merchant. Dan didn’t know who would be the best to take home, unsure if he’d even be able to find someone who he’d ever be able to love, or who wouldn’t attempt to take full advantage of him.

Why had his parents thought this was a good idea again?

Suddenly, Dan was ripped from his thoughts at the loud sound of his own horse whinnying, and the jostling movement of the horse jerking back, front hooves kicking at the air for a brief moment. Dan yelled out in surprise, and took hold tightly of his reins, pulling back on them to try and control his horse, all while he searched wildly for the source of his horse’s terror.

His own eyes were wide, fingers itching to brace around the hilt of his sword at his waist, but he didn’t even know where, or what, his enemy even was.

“Calm, Moody!” Dan shouted as he pulled harder on the reigns, head whipping around desperately to find the issue as Moody continued to thrash about, kicking behind herself, and then huffing loudly.

It took another moment, but Moody finally settled down, her body tense and unhappy under Dan. Still, her relaxation relieved Dan, who was finally able to see straight enough to find what had caused all the commotion in the first place.

The first thing he saw as he stared straight in front of himself and Moody was a large, brown gelding. He was stood stock still in the middle of the trail, going lengthwise across the path and preventing anyone from moving past him. The second thing Dan saw was an unsettled tree, disrupted bushes, and a trail of heavy and unhidden footsteps trailing away from said horse and into the forest around them, just off the beaten path Dan was taking now.

Instantly, Dan tensed.

Someone was here.

“Who's out there?” he yelled, unafraid, as he let go of his horse's reins and jumped off of her, his hand going straight to the hilt of his sword. “Show yourself!” he continued when he got no response, turning slowly but surely on nimble feet, ready to fight for his life if it came down to it.

Whoever had hidden in the woods either hadn’t wanted to be seen by Dan, or was planning an ambush. Regardless of the reason, Dan was not going to ignore the signs and continue on his way dangerously. Not to mention, a large horse was stood in his way, and there was no chance in hell Dan was getting off the well known beaten path and walking into some kind of trap.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Dan hollered, voice menacing, when the person did not appear after Dan’s first call towards them. “You’ve been caught, sir! I know you’re there! Reveal yourself!”

There was a crunching sound from Dan’s left, and he whirled with his sword thrust out just in time to press the tip of the metal to the throat of someone who appeared all too familiar, and who was looking at Dan with a grin on his face that seemed to stretch for miles.

Staring at this man was like staring into the sun, and Dan’s jaw nearly dropped as he realized who this was.

“Phil!” he shouted, a grin of his own taking over his face. His sword arm fell as he dropped the weapon to the forest floor, and without another thought in his mind, Dan threw himself into the arms of the other prince, warmth immediately seeping into his skin. He buried his face into Phil’s neck the best he could considering he’d grown taller than him over the last year, and inhaled his scent sharply as Phil chuckled against his ear.

“Dan,” Phil replied softly, and merely held Dan tighter in turn. “It’s good to see you,” he explained, and placed his own chin on top of Dan’s curly mop of hair. His embrace was heaven to Dan, and he never wanted to let go.

**

They ended up settling down at camp a few miles into the forest haven they’d been walking through. Phil had had the foresight to carry his own sleeping bag, while Dan had been sleeping on the floor the past few days, but it was unmistakable that they had both been traveling. Dan was more relieved than he could say that he’d run into Phil, but the fact that Phil had been traveling at all was starting to niggle at the back of Dan’s mind.

What was Phil doing out here?

He hadn’t asked yet, though. Instead, the two had walked their horses to a somewhat hidden clearing in the forest, tied them up, gotten them water, and then begun to build a fire for themselves. Night was coming quick, and while the sun was still setting, neither wanted to be caught out in the cold.

As Phil spread out his sleeping bag near the fire, and Dan propped up a bundle of clothes as a makeshift pillow they way he’d done the past few days, the two settled in with a kettle over the fire, and a simple broth brewing. Phil had offered his small cache of supplies for dinner without Dan even getting a chance to say no, but Dan wasn’t going to complain; the cook at Phil’s palace made the best vegetable broth Dan had ever tasted, and he was glad to have a chance at some now.

“So,” Phil finally said, breaking the easy banter they’d fallen into earlier, teasing each other the way they’d always done when they were together. “What are you doing all the way out here? I wasn’t expecting to run into you on the road.”

Dan let out a heavy, dramatic sigh, and flopped backwards against the makeshift pillow he’d created of his clothes, an action that both men were rather familiar with - Dan always had been the drama king. Phil laughed at the action, and Dan turned his head to grin at his best friend, feeling his heart race excitedly in his chest at the sight of him. He still couldn’t quite believe he’d somehow managed to run into Phil out here, especially when he was meant to be on a trip to find a partner to drag home.

In a way, Dan wasn’t sure if he was more happy to have Phil with him now, or upset, because now he had to admit to Phil why he was here.

“Well,” Dan replied, drawing out the “e” for extra dramatic effect. Dan liked the way it made Phil grin at him, his tongue sticking out through his teeth, smile gummy in the cutest of ways. Dan’s heart fluttered in his chest. “To tell you the truth,” Dan continued, and sighed as he remembered why exactly he was out here. The humor from a moment earlier seemed to suddenly be gone. “My parents sent me off to find a partner. They were getting sick of me sleeping around every weekend, and they gave me one last month before I was required to pick someone from your kingdom to finally tie our kingdoms together.”

The words kind of rushed out of Dan in one long breath. Suddenly, Dan realized just how desperate he’d been feeling lately to just talk about all of this; his fears and the terror of having to marry an actual stranger, of potentially being stuck in a loveless marriage…

Dan rolled onto his side and stared at the dirt underneath him, picking at it with his nails and refusing to look at Phil, who’d yet to reply to what he’d said.

“I guess I’d just really hoped I’d find someone I could actually love before I was forced to get married,” Dan admitted on an exhale. “I thought maybe my parents would… understand.” He closed his eyes and let his hands go limp against the floor, suddenly feeling entirely drained of all energy.

Phil still hadn’t said a word, but Dan knew it wasn’t because Phil didn’t know what to say. He just wanted to give Dan his space to finish. Phil had always been good like that. While Dan couldn’t seem to help himself when it came to interrupting other people and interjecting with his own thoughts before they’d even finished speaking, Phil had always been so incredibly patient. It was no wonder Dan was so in love with him.

“I just don’t want to end up with someone who’s just using me to be a prince or princess,” Dan finally admitted at last, and fell silent.

As always, Phil seemed to know when Dan was done, as not a second too early or too late, Phil was letting out a soft sigh and reaching over with gentle fingers to ruffle up Dan’s curly hair. The touch instantly made Dan smile, and he basked in the warmth of Phil’s affection.

“Yeah. I get that,” Phil agreed, and the thing was, Dan knew he really did. It wasn’t like when his butler or his classmates would agree back when he was doing schooling with some of the other duchess and dukes kids, or even the other servants in the palace. No one had ever really understood the way only Phil could, because he was a prince too.

Dan was only jealous of the fact that Phil was the second son, and therefore might have more of a chance than Dan of finding someone to love. If only that person could have been Dan.

“But if it makes you feel any better,” Phil continued, “My parents sent me to visit your kingdom for the exact same reason as you're visiting mine.”

It took a while for the words to proper register in Dan’s mind, unhelped by the way Phil’s fingers continued to card through his hair in an affectionate manner Dan so rarely got these days. At first, he merely hummed in reaction to Phil, eyes still closed as he rested with his head half off of his makeshift pillow, and then what Phil had said finally seemed to hit him.

Dan sat bolt upright in seconds, eyes popping wide and mouth dropping open as he moved to look at Phil. His best friend was biting his lip on what seemed to be an embarrassed smile, and his bluey-green eyes reflected a sadness Dan was certain was in his own. The sight made his heart ache, and he craved the chance to reach out and reassure Phil the way Phil had done so many times before for Dan.

But he couldn’t, because Dan was unable to get past the gnawing, horrified feeling in the pit of his stomach that Dan’s fantasy’s were truly about to crash down all around him.

Phil was looking for a partner. Phil was going to get married.

And it wasn’t going to be to him.

Dan’s heart was suddenly racing in his chest. He felt kind of dizzy, but he was doing his best not to give in to the sudden desperate desire to heave in needy breaths of air. Clenching his fingers into fists at his sides, Dan merely stared at Phil, completely aghast, and tried to take the situation in.

“What?” he finally managed to gasp out. Phil, much to Dan’s distress, ducked his head at the word, as if he didn’t want to have to face Dan about this anymore than Dan had wanted to face Phil. “You mean…?”

Phil nodded his head.

Dan was absolutely stunned, but that didn’t prevent a stone from dropping in his stomach and nearly killing him.

“Yeah, I uh. Well, Martyn’s just gotten engaged. His wedding will be in the next month, and I’m expected to introduce my own betrothed at the reception, so ah. Here I am,” Phil introduced, laughing at himself. His voice sounded frail and awkward, and Dan didn’t know what to do.

He’d never been any good at comforting others. That had always been Phil’s specialty, not Dan’s. Suddenly every last thought Dan had had about enjoying Phil’s company for the rest of his journey, maybe even borrowing him as a wingman, begging for one last glimpse of hope that Phil might be jealous, might be interested, evaporated into thin air.

Every last thought that Phil was lucky, that he might find love even if Dan didn’t, disappeared.

They were both trapped in the same horrifying circumstances, and somehow, for Dan, knowing that Phil would soon be off the market was too much for him to bear.

So he hatched a plan. As he stared at Phil, who was back to stirring the slowly warming broth over their fire, refusing to look back at Dan, he thought. Dan thought about the way Phil made him feel, and the hope he’d had that he might still have some time left alone with Phil come the future, after he’d married and left his husband back at home. Dan thought about the empty place in his heart where Phil had lived since they were kids, and the desire he’d stirred in Dan when he’d first turned fourteen and showed up all grown and adorable with dyed black hair grown into a stylish fringe.

Dan thought of all the times they’d spent back at the palace, playing and fighting and bickering late into the night, telling each other their secrets and whispering promises of love that had always meant more on Dan’s end than Phil. Dan thought of Phil’s lips, and how badly he’d wanted to kiss them for years now, and his hands and the warmth of them against Dan.

Dan tried to imagine either of them being married to someone else, and his heart wrenched.

Maybe… maybe Dan still had a chance. Maybe Phil didn’t love him, didn’t view him like that at all, but maybe Phil would be willing to pretend, just for a little while, to save them both from their plight.

“What if you marry me, instead,” Dan blurted out, ears flushing red as he realized he’d said that out loud. His heart was thundering away in his chest, and he could feel terror trying to envelope him all over again, but he refrained. Phil was looking at him now, his head having whipped up the second the words had passed Dan’s lips, but his gaze was closed off - stunned.

Dan had to push on.

“Think about it. We both want nothing more than to find someone we can actually love, and there’s no way either of us is going to find someone we can so much as trust in the next month. The task our parents have set us is impossible,” Dan explained, talking fast, afraid he wouldn’t get through his whole speech before Phil interrupted him with a crazed laugh. Why would Phil ever want to marry Dan anyway? This was insane, and Dan had no idea what he was saying, but he couldn’t stop now.

He had to try. This was his last chance.

“If we were to get married, it would unite our kingdoms, and you would be a king one day. You would rule at my side, and you’d have all the time in the world to find someone you could actually love. It’s perfect Phil, don’t you see?” Dan continued, pushing forward until he was almost pleading. He could hear the distress in his own voice, the terror, the pain, and he couldn’t help wondering if Phil could see right through him.

Dan wasn’t offering to save them both the pain of finding a proper partner to marry. Dan was offering because he wanted to savor every last moment he ever got with Phil before someone else came along and stole him away. Dan would take anything if it meant holding Phil by his side, even a fake marriage that was nothing more than a piece of paper and public display.

“Think about it,” Dan continued, still talking fast, eyes wide and pleading. “It could be perfect. We’re best friends, what could be worse than marrying your best friend? And it’s not like we have to have sex. The law about consummating marriage beds and blood on the sheets was banished ages ago. It could totally work, and I -”

“Dan,” Phil murmured, cutting Dan off mid word. The action was half expected, and yet so rare, that Dan cut his ramble off immediately and looked up at Phil. He was surprised to find his friend staring back at him with something tender and warm in his eyes, and felt that something that had been tightening around his throat suddenly loosen until he could breathe again.

“Dan, shh. Stop. You don’t have to convince me. I think that would be a wonderful idea. I’d love to be your husband.”

Phil’s eyes were glittering, and he was smiling, a not so secret laugh on his lips, but Dan didn’t care. All he could do was stare at Phil in absolute wonder and awe, amazed that his spontaneous plan had actually worked.

Phil had agreed to marry him, and it had hardly even taken any convincing. Phil was looking at Dan like he loved him for this, and even if that love didn’t expand beyond platonic, Dan didn’t mind.

“I just can’t believe we never thought of this before,” Phil continued, chuckling lightly. His cheeks were flushed and red, but Dan was unsure why, nor did he quite understand the seeming hysteria in Phil’s eyes. “It’s perfect, and it probably would have gotten our parents off our backs ages ago! Besides,” Phil continued, smirking, “I guess that means you really aren’t ever getting rid of me now!”

“Phil!” Dan whined, “Shut up!” he complained, but his heart wasn’t in it, even as he reached over to shove Phil onto the floor, laughing as the action devolved into an impromptu wrestling match that made Dan feel warm and breathless all over.

Dan was too busy floating on cloud nine, because Phil Lester had said yes to his proposal, and they were getting married.

**

While the trip towards Phil’s kingdom and over the border had been boring bordering on terrible, the trip back was anything but. It was full of raucous laughter and a level of fun that Dan had never experienced with anyone but Phil. There was teasing aplenty, and even a few good natured shoves, but Dan had never gotten along so well with anyone as he did with Phil.

Every time they walked back into each other's lives after a long absence, they found that they fit together like puzzle pieces. It was as if they’d never been apart, and while they filled each other in on the antics of their home lives, it never felt forced or hard. There were no awkward silences to fill because the two never seemed to run out of stories to tell each other, and when they did, it didn’t feel awkward to just bask in each other’s presence.

It was actually the opposite. Dan had never felt so safe as he did in Phil’s presence, and just having Phil there beside him riding his horse left Dan feeling warm to his core. He didn’t need words or even contact to make him feel whole, the way he did when Phil wasn’t around, and Dan that for as long as he had Phil at his side, he’d never draw another man into his bed.

Well, actually, Dan couldn’t make that promise, but he knew that he would never need it the same way he did now. No one could truly replace Phil, and Phil made Dan feel like he was on top of the world. No one could top that. If Dan could never have Phil the way he wanted him, he would take his friendship with the ease and grace of a gelding, and appreciate every second of his company.

While the trip to Phil’s kingdom had taken a few days at most, the trip back took closer to the week Dan had planned to get to the capital of Phil’s kingdom. Dan didn’t mind though. Unlike the boring trip there, the trip back was the most fun Dan had had in ages.

Half the time, he and Phil were messing around. They spent just as much time racing their horses to see who could take turns and reach certain areas faster than the other just for the hell of it, bickering and joking over the results every time they tied until night had fallen and they’d failed to get much further than a few yards from their destination of last night.

Neither male truly minded though. They hadn’t seen each other in just about a year now, both busy with their own business in presiding kingdoms, and they were making up for lost time now.

They never spoke of their soon to be marriage, though, and Dan tried to pretend that that didn’t hurt. Sometimes he’d see Phil turn and look at him with an expression full of both longing and fear in his eyes that made Dan fear they were doing the wrong thing, but as quick as the expression was there, it was gone, and Dan was left to wonder if he’d ever really seen it at all.

They swam in the lake just off the border between their kingdoms on the third day of their trip, and dunked each other under the water so many times Dan could practically taste algae in the back of his throat. Dan spent more time than he’d care to admit staring at Phil’s toned chest, and how he’d grown since Dan had last seen him, and tried not to reach out and touch more than was actually necessary. Being two young adult men, however, rough housing was how they got on, and it was inevitable that Dan would touch. He tried not to feel guilty with the zing it sent through him, and merely pressed on and tried to pretend that he just saw Phil as a friend.

On the fourth day they went hunting, something they were both exceptionally poor at, and merely managed to catch a rabbit which Phil then refused to slay. They set the unharmed animal free back in the woods, and sat down with their quickling dwindling rations for dinner that night with good natured smiles and reassurances that they’d done the right thing. Dan held Phil’s hand and squeezed at his fingers every time he wondered if he’d ever be any good at ruling if he couldn’t even kill a rabbit for his dinner that night, and Dan reassured him that Phil would do what was right in the end.

Besides, they hadn’t needed that rabbit that night, and had mostly trapped it for the fun of it.

That seemed to be enough to reassure Phil, and they continued on.

On the fifth day, the two stumbled upon a wounded wolf that Phil merely couldn’t ignore, and after gaining the animals trust, the two nursed it back to health over the following two days, ignoring their own needs to get home and merely enjoying each other’s company and the mutual caring for a wounded animal. Dan watched Phil the whole time he stroked the wolf’s head and mended the two hurt back paw’s that had prevented the poor animal from running away when they’d first approached it, and felt his heart ache with the desire to have this man in every way.

Phil was so gentle and kind, his eyes soft and his touch warm. Dan would never find someone as good as Phil, not even if he could search the whole wide world.

Soon enough, though, the wolf healed enough to stand and fend for itself, and while Dan and Phil both were sad to see the animal go, they waved it off as it loped away after one last affectionate nuzzle that told them both they would never be forgotten.

Then, finally, on the eighth day, the two finally crossed city lines into the capital just past sun down, and turned to grin at each other. Their faces were grimy and covered in sweat, and their horses stood under them unamused at their antics over the last few days, particularly the event with the wolf that had detained them so close to home.

Still, Dan didn’t regret a second of it, and as he stared out at the capital of his kingdom, taking in the sights he’d haunted so many years now finding men to take to his bed to replace Phil, Dan felt something right finally settle in his chest. He had Phil at his side now, regardless of what that might really mean, and Dan was going to soak up every last day he got with Phil before Phil moved on to someone else.

The thought of that day coming sooner rather than later dampened Dan spirits, and he shoved the thought away as soon as it came. He could deal with that later. For now, he had a betrothed to take home.

“Ready?” Dan asked Phil, turning back to look at him once more.

Phil turned his head as well, eyes shining bright, and mouth open in a toothy grin. Dan could see his tongue sticking out, just the tip. It was everything and more.

“Ready,” Phil agreed, and took the lead.

**

Dan shouldn’t have been surprised at how well his parents had taken the news when he’d arrived in court that day with Phil at his side, arm’s laced together, and a plan on the tip of their tongues. There had been something knowing about the look Dan’s mother had given him, but his father, as expected, had merely grunted his agreement and reminded Dan’s brother Adrien of the renewed need for the youngest son to produce an heir that Dan was clearly never going to be able to bear.

Dan would have felt bad, or even guilty, if it hadn’t been for the fact that his brother didn’t care in the least. No choices had been taken from him when it had been clear from the start that he was pretty much only interested in women, and he didn’t so much as bat an eye at Dan when he was summoned and subsequently excused.

Phil, on the other hand, had looked suitably grave, as if he were blaming himself for taking away Dan’s one chance at an heir by marrying him. Dan wasn’t sure if the expression was real, or a mere farce put on for his father, but he never got a chance to ask. He was too busy being dragged into wedding planning not twenty-four hours later, while Phil was sent off back home to inform his family of his decision.

Dan regretted not getting to go with Phil, but with the wedding scheduled to go along with Martyn and his betrothed Cornelia’s, the two did not have much time to plan. Besides, Dan was not long shipped off with carriage upon carriage of supplies to the Lester’s a week or so later, and left to plan there. By then, he’d mostly forgotten about Phil’s grave expression and its implications, and had merely soaked up every last moment he was given to spend at Phil’s side.

Not that there was much of that. The two weren’t even allowed their customary sleepovers anymore because of their betrothal and how it would be seen as unright, not to mention the fact that every minute that was not spent planning for the dual wedding was either spent sleeping or eating. That left very little time for Dan to even check in with Phil and see if this was still what he wanted, let alone mess around with his best friend, so Dan let the grave expression go. At least for a little while.

By the time the wedding day arrived, the memory of that expression had wore a hole through Dan’s heart, and he was seconds away from calling the whole damn thing off. His hands were sweating in his tailored tux, and he’d wiped them on his trouser legs multiple times now. Martyn, Cornelia, and Phil were all temporarily in separate rooms from Dan, leaving Dan nothing to do but dread what was to come.

What if he was doing the wrong thing? What if he was ruining everything with Phil? What if Phil knew of Dan’s feelings and was just doing this to make him feel less alone? What if Phil had someone else out there that he thought he could never have, and he was only settling for Dan? What if Phil regretted this, in the end?

A sudden knock at the door drew Dan out of his thoughts, and he turned with a loud screech of his shoes against the floor. He cringed at the sound, but managed to shout out a hoarse sounding “come in!” regardless, hoping that whoever was at the door would excuse it all for nerves.

Of course, the person at the door turned out to be someone Dan had not quite been expecting. Despite tradition and superstition stating that the betrothed were not to see each other before the wedding, Phil Lester himself was sneaking into Dan’s room.

Dan’s jaw dropped open, and his palms began to sweat even more profusely.

“What are you doing here?” Dan stuttered out, his terror from before suddenly renewed tenfold. Was Phil here to call this whole affair off? Had Dan well and truly ruined their friendship? Dan didn't know.

“I had to see you,” Phil replied earnestly, staring at Dan with wide eyes full of emotion that Dan could not decipher for the life of him. Dan merely gawped at Phil like a fish out of water. His heart was beating erratically in his chest.

“What do you mean?” Dan finally managed to ask, terrified, but doing his best to prevent the emotion from showing on his face. “We’re not supposed to see each other before the wedding, Phil, I -”

“Dan,” Phil interrupted, once again interrupting Dan and shutting him up immediately. Phil didn’t interrupt people, not unless it was important. Dan could practically feel his blood pressure spiking.

“Phil?” Dan shot back, his voice coming out as a high pitched squeak. Phil was stepping closer now, something Dan didn’t completely understand, that same unreadable mass of emotions shining in his eyes, and his lips quirked in a hesitant, uncertain smile. Phil was nervous, that much was true, but why.

Dan didn’t understand why. He just wanted to know what was going on, why Phil was here, and if he were about to dissolve everything before Dan could get what he wanted. How could Dan have been so stupid as to use Phil like this? How could he have thought this was a good idea?

His thoughts were racing a mile a minute when Phil reached out and captured Dan’s cheeks in his hands, chuckling gently at him.

“You’re thinking really loud,” he teased.

His eyes had turned gentle, but his smile was none the less nervous than before.

Dan swallowed thickly and nodded his head. Phil’s hands were warm against his skin.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

Phil just shook his head.

“It’s okay. I don’t really mind. I just wish I knew what was going on inside of that head of yours,” he added with another gentle laugh. It was high, high like when Phil was feeling awkward, like when he said something strange that he regretted almost immediately. Dan knew that laugh, but he didn’t think it belonged here, in this situation.

He wished Phil would just get on with what he wanted.

“No you don’t,” Dan shot back, throat dry, because Phil didn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t be about to marry Dan.

Phil frowned at Dan, a little crease forming between his brows that Dan ached to reach up and smooth out, and shook his head, but he didn’t argue against Dan. Instead, he stared into Dan’s eyes, leaving Dan to do nothing but stare back.

Phil’s hands were still cupping his cheeks. Dan didn’t understand.

“Listen, Dan,” Phil finally said, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen between them. His voice broke, and he hesitated, something that made the dread and worry forming in Dan’s stomach swirl in a mass of butterflies and hornets. He wanted to throw up. If only Phil would just get on with it.

Just break it off with me already, I deserve it, Dan thought, but that wasn’t what Phil said.

No. Instead, Phil once again took Dan by surprise, the way he’d been doing all their lives, and he sighed. His eyes were clouded over in an emotion that Dan could not name as he leaned in close, far closer than Dan thought was necessary, hands still pressed warm and tight on either side of Dan’s face, holding him close.

“Dan,” Phil said. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please, forgive me for this, but I just - I just need you to know, before we get married...I love you.”

The words were nothing that Dan had been expecting. They burst forth against his ear drums like fireworks in the night sky. It almost felt like Dan’s entire world came to life in that moment, colors he hadn’t known could be so vivid exploding before his eyes. Phil’s face was apprehensive, scared and unsure, but Dan couldn’t bring himself to care.

He was floating in starlight, staring into the sun, and a smile unlike any he’d ever worn before was ripping itself across his face.

Phil Lester loved him. Phil Lester loved him, and they were about to get married.

Suddenly, the puzzle pieces fell together, and Dan finally realized that this… this was everything they’d been leading up to for years, now.

Without waiting another beat or another moment to pass, Dan leaned forward and he pressed his lips to Phil’s in a kiss that would rival that of the one they’d share at the altar hours later. Dan’s arms came up to wrap around Phil’s neck, and he laughed against Phil’s lips as he whispered back, “I love you, too,” suddenly feeling like the prince who’d gotten his fairy tale ending.

For the first time in his life, Dan felt like the world truly was his oyster, and he held onto Phil like he was never going to let him go, because he wasn’t.