#personug

So no but also yes, yes I did.

Here's the story. I was in Beijing with my friends John, Johnny, and Pan YuePeng. Pan YuePeng was taking us to his favorite barbecue joint near his university, and John and Johnny decided they needed to go urinate in an alley. NBD, the Johns were like that sometimes, and Pan YuePeng and I wandered around this parking lot while they did their thing.

In my wandering, I stepped on a manhole cover. The lid flipped up, and I fell in to my waist. One leg was dangling in the hole, the other leg was outside on the pavement scraped to hell. The very, very heavy metal lid of the manhole hit me in the chest, leaving the worst bruise of my life (and possibly cracking a rib).

All I could think was, "If my berkenstock falls off we are never getting it back I can't be barefoot in Beijing my feet are too big to find shoes in China oh my god please shoe do not fall off."

Pan YuePeng helped me out, shoe and all, the lid slid right back into place like this shit had never happened, and I turn from my spot on the ground to see like five middle-aged men just staring at me, expressionless.

I looked at Pan YuePeng and said, "I am so embarrassed."

He turned to me in horror and replied, "No. I am embarrassed. I am here, escorting you in my city to my favorite restaurant, and I let this happen to you?"

"I don't think anyone could have predicted this happening."

Around this time John and Johnny come back and are like, wtf, Pan YuePeng kicks at the manhole a couple times just to check, I get up, decide my leg is not bleeding enough to really worry about, and limp to dinner.

Me, after standing up to get food: I feel so sick I am no longer hungry