Yuri On Ice (topics and vague spoilers) and it's music.

And euhh I started and finished Yuri!!! On Ice, and it was honestly so fantastic. Firstly it was just had so many relatable topics going on there. Yuri is mostly so amazing. You've got enormous fanboying (but like still as a young adult), you've got the college life, realistic set-backs from pressure and anxiety (both to perform in life and to deal with figuring your future out as you are growing out of young adult phase when you're expected to know by now) and seeing growth in how to deal with it, you've got the late bloomer love, definitely partly caused by finding your queer identity and struggling with conventional gender expression and relationship ship roles. These are all topics I continue to struggle with too.

But then the thing even more.... THE MUSIC. Music is such a powerful medium. The wide variety of emotions music can make you feel.

So many choices that make a great piece. From the individual melodies and beats, to the totality of having lots of things going on or very little things, in various difficulties, all with their own way of succeeding to create something absolutely beautiful in succeeding to induce feelings. The progression of a piece can tell you a whole story, from various details and different sides of one feeling or passing through multiple emotions and thoughts.

Some pieces used in YOI have (and continue) to absolutely emotionally wreck me when I listen to it. I hate and love it at the same time. I get so overwhelmed with feelings and induce such powerful images. Even long after watching the anime and forgetting all the details I will still catch on to their themes through the music (like apart from how the music would feel when it's totally separated from the story it eventually supports). I love it so much I find it so fantastic that music can do such a thing. But it also absolutely wrecks me, since it makes me get very out of touch with my boring real life and makes me live in my head a bit too much from time to time. (a little bit too much out of my control really). But yeah That's that.

(I l o v e the opening making history, on love both eros and agape, Yuri on ICE, thème of king JJ, piano concerto in B minor (allegro), terra incognito, intoxicated, shall we skate, partizan hope, l'homme arme (I could go on really). I love how their own interpreties of the pieces and the relation to their own life and experiences are so incorporated in the plot lines. Really gives these pieces extra meanings outside what I would imagine.

Also don't forget that it has some BEAUTIFUL animation.

This week I finished rewatching free! Up to s2 and am now watching season 3 for the first time. It's very gay and mushy and I love Rin just so much. He is mostly portrayed as this really stoic cool guy, but in Canon this boy is so emotional and feels so deep???? Just too pure, love him and his cute English accent 😭😭😭

Rewatching Ouran high school host club with my sister when we eat dinner. It's very nice, and still such an entertaining mess.

I took some lovely night walks to some cannal in ghent. Really pretty how the lights are reflected in the water.

I'm enjoying going to the fitness even though my schedule is totally different. Started doing a lot of cardio since I've had revision surgery to my topsurgery scars and am not allowed to do any upper body training. (eased very slowly into walking and low tempo shit, but now building up to running again). I've made up my mind and I'm gonna really focus on weight-loss for a few months. I've been tracking my food, but really going just a tiny bit lower than previous in combination with more cardio has really been showing results already. It's a routine I feel like I will be able to keep up!

Also I shaved my legs??? My legs have gotten super hairy due to testosteron and just damn, I dot really mind that they're shaving but I ain't gonna do that again. It does however made me be able to see the muscle definition in my legs much clearer and I'm feeling really good about that!

Very happy with how revision surgery turned out. They removed all the excess glue and unresolved threads, so finally able to see the actual results. Had a good talk with the doctor about some insecurities and nervousness u had about maintaining my scars and not making the same unfortunate mistake as last time. (on the day of my operation the doctor who actually performed the surgery was unable to talk to me in his schedule, so a nurse told me the basic of the basics but I had a lot of questions that she half assed answered so I was actually quite stressed the past 2 weeks about something going wrong before my follow up appointment.

I'm really looking forward to Saturday. Gonna meet with 3 of my friends and we're gonna get so super wasted. I hope we all puke and have a good time. (love my dad squad)

I'm looking forward to planning my meals for next week, this week i was dissatisfied with what I made last minute every time. I did really enjoy the sporadous trip for some rocket popsicles with my sister. They were very nice, and we had to eat all 9 in one setting cause we don't have a freezer hehehe. Ooh I also really made some Gooodd coffee this week. I love coffee so much 😭

I have played the flute for a long time now, so I take an very difficult but beautiful pieces that still take a lot of time and work. I've worked on my current piece for about 3 months now and I've gotten pretty far already, but far from perfect or performance worthy. But I really have lost my drive for this piece. At this point I know it beyond well enough to particle with an accompanist. I really always look forward to this. I love getting to know other musicians through their interpretations of the music the play. And I really need that extra person and the influence of  a different image to incorporate in mine to be able to keep going.

In a good year I'm able to have my own piano student to "accompany" me, but really I do view us more as equels. Playing chamber music a lot of the time they wouldn't really fall under that term anyway. But regardless. We would really get to know each other and how we interpret things and how we try to get our interpretations into the pieces. It's really interesting and good learning expiernce to grow musically. especially since your view is heavenly based on how your long term teacher has been passing it on to you.

So most years I only get like 2 practices with a piano teacher before a concert and that's it. (and then the oke I had for years has gotten to busy so it's a new person and I'm just not yet accustomed to her like I was to him before). - when I was younger it constantly threw me off how much different the vibe is when the piano part was added. That I had such a different thing in my head and suddenly the added colour doesn't match my invisioned painting, so now I listen to it on yt and interpret the piano part in complement to my parts. -

And it's really stupid but it has happened many times before, which means I've passed a peak thriving on my own and am  now in slight degression and playing the piece worse which is really dissatisfying. Especially since I have absolutely no view on when music classes will be able to start again. Let alone have time with an accompanist. tho the influence of my teacher would do well too.

(the piece I'm working on is Pan de Flute by Jules Mouqet, it's absolutely beautiful. I'm doing the first and second movement. For the third movement the difficulty is it a bit too hard, but still a very very fun part!)

A Lil update on happy things in my life for moots or future me or whatev. (3 parts)

For the first time since lockdown I met up with my friends (3peeps from the dad squad) in ghent. I had so much fun, we sunbathed shirtless on their balcony starting drinking at 3, cheapest bear Cara ❤️, setted timers to remind us to drink water enough and listened to all kinds of shrek music. It was absolutely amazing. Regulations onlyh allowed us to be there till 22pm so then we went to my student dorm. And that's where we had our Shrigga Migga Cocktail (vodka, plant based milk and Choco powder) and played some dumb card games to make us drink that absolutely wonderful drink. Ended the night with watching Shrek 2 ❤️❤️❤️ shrek 3 for next time. Love my babes so much.

I finished rewatching Ouran high school host club a fantastic mess and downloaded the OST since it reuses so many things and it's all pretty dumb but lovely. Started season 3 of Starmyu 😭 my musical babies, it's not really topping first season but it's still nice.

I'm healing very well from correction surgery, which had pushed me into doing more cardio at the gym instead of powerstuff (I mostly only really do back and upper limbs).

The routine shift to cardio and i made me go just a tiny bit more restrictive in my diet than before but it has been showing some good results.

I'm really getting to like running. I'm still very picky on what time and circumstances are okay for me to run in since I overheat easily but it's really nice to see growth in distance and pace. I always dread soreness so much so I've been trying to keep up with some good stretches.

And honestly a those things coming togheter has put me in a great spot. I'm really starting to like and accept my body, and I'm finally starting to be able to accomplish and get into things I really like and wanted to do for a long time. (I like doing sports so much but I never really participated in anything cause I was always so dysphoric)

So Wednesday I filled out the application at work for the position that I want. Now I just have to wait about a week or so until it becomes official. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m hoping that I’ll get quicker at things and better as I work there more. The 7 am shifts are definitely helping me with that, because I feel like with all the recent things that have been happening during closing shift I can’t accomplish as much as I would like to. 

Everyone has been incredibly helpful though. With all the team work in the morning I feel like even if I get a little paranoid about not being able to complete a task fast enough they’re there to reassure me that I am doing fine. 

It’s taking me a while to not beat myself up about my own work, but they help me with that. I mean it still freaks me out if I can’t finish everything, but I mean I just do the best I can, ya’ know?