#personal tour

Are you ready to step into the rich tapestry of British history and culture? Join me on a journey through the iconic landmarks of Royal Westminster. In this exclusive 3-4 hour tour, we'll delve into the heart of London's royal heritage, guided by a professional local expert.

Our adventure begins at the majestic Westminster Abbey, a cornerstone of British monarchy and the final resting place of luminaries like Isaac Newton, Charles Dickens, and Elizabeth I. As we wander through its hallowed halls, you'll feel the weight of centuries of history beneath your feet.

Next, we'll encounter the iconic symbols of British governance: Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. Stroll past Horse Guards, Downing Street, and the solemn Cenotaph, pausing to soak in the aura of power and tradition.

But the journey doesn't end there. Buckingham Palace awaits, along with its neighboring royal residences. Take a stroll through St James's Park, revel in the exclusivity of St James's shopping district, and marvel at the vibrant energy of Piccadilly Circus and Trafalgar Square.

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Yesterday, I needed to catch up on Dexter. Instead of torrenting the episodes, I was lazy and streamed them online from what can only be described as an "iffy" website. 

The experience reminded me why I prefer downloading; I was confronted with countless advertisements. They ran the gauntlet from an online dress-this-Barbie game to an offline eat-my-shorts event. Some were loud. Others were silently gaudy.

Then, I was smacked in the eyes by the most beautifully crafted ad I've ever, ever peered upon. I wept in exultation. Like a pirate in love, I tearfully smiled into a crusty bowl of hard water. What was previously confusing - the appeal of mayonnaise, card-counting, astral physics, how to start a garden - was suddenly clear. Whatever a lemur scream sounds like, I want that sound to play on repeat at my wedding instead of "Here Comes the Bride." 

Thank you, Duke Lemur Center, for advertising to me. 

I won't go, because I assume I can't afford to gaze in-person upon such good looking lemurs. Not only is there the entrance fee, but I have to consider the cost of all the lost time I'll have at work reflecting on how great it was.