holy shit i had a whole long post written out but my browser crashed so uh. just a brief thought on what happened.
I came back to BNHA off the tale end of a brutal war in another fandom, some stuff that really hurt me and really scared me, because it was all IRL related. I’ve been scared to death of julie since joining, especially since my first experience with him was a huge callout mess, but my nature is to try and see the good in everyone. behind the scenes i was a bit of a shit talker to deal with my fear, but there was always a part of me that genuinely wanted to see some good in julie. tbh there were many times i’ve had fun with him on the dash, he can be very entertaining.
as a person however? he really does terrify me. and that school shooter thing was the start to my giving up. when i came to BNHA i had no other fandom to turn to, i tried to make outs with friends but until I hit TG nothing stuck. once I got here? well. that was easy. though in general i’ve wound up avoiding tumblr because of a and b.
it was so bad though that even posting a slight opinion difference had me breaking down because people riding julie’s coattails that I actually liked would insta block me because i didn’t agree with smth or how smth was handled. there were times where i almost blacked out due to the stress of handling julie.
it was just bad and my autistic (literally) ass couldn’t comprehend better ways. and i never gave up hope. but that callout. that callout showed me way worse than i’d even imagined. I’m just. beyond myself. i never even realized we were the same damn age...and now even more stuff is just. bad.
but uh. yeah.
i’ve been so scared, but seeing connaeiour and andy withdraw has really??? made me start to feel safer about tumblr tbh. all m thoughts go to those especially affected though, those who didn’t play it safe like my coward ass did.
i love yall a lot. pls take care of yourself. i wonder if this one will even stick, since he’s repeating the same old ‘defense’ crap that’s exhibited in the callout itself.
