#personal crap too

I've been doing so many different things since the last update of the blog that I've literally found no REAL time for askcarcino-bloodknight. This is basically my only venting place for any sort of Karkat voiceacting since... Well, apparently my KK voice sucks ass. Everything that I audition for either didn't accept my Karkat or already had one. When I get in there, I feel uncomfortable because I feel like perhaps I could have been an improvement to their KKs voice?

I don't know. I'm probably being presumptuous, and I'm sorry about that. The last update via voice was months ago and I've posted plenty about getting a bunch of voice parts and such and lala has been updating the blog to the point that it is MUCH more pleasing to the eye. (thank you so much Chela~ <3) I want to start up again, but I feel my overall morale from voice acting has dropped and the only voices I'm confident in are Striders. (as striders are all I ever really get.)

I worked really hard on my Karkat voice, and there are some people who downright call my voice awful when I have tried so hard just to at least feel good about it. I could care less if I got praised like the 'tumblr famous' KK voices that even I admire greatly! I just want a little hole of my own so sit in...

Furthermore, my personal life has halted ALL OF MODES of voice acting as well at many points. I just pulled off what I called 'operation utopia' as to try and make myself generally more happy?.... Let's just say it didn't work out in the slightest, and I feel like a  piece of shit that was used and lied to. Now I'm alone, and I just sort of can't get myself out of bed. I feel sick constantly and I don't know what to do with myself anymore...

If you've been keeping up with my personal, you probably already know all these things...

Either way, perhaps all this will blow over... Perhaps I'll get the help from the people I've been pleading to help me... Sooner or later I'll be able to update this blog properly (because it requires me getting another voice, recording, and editing, and choosing fanart for the art post thingie to update, and I don't have the mental drive for all that) at some point as to keep the angry Vantas rambling going...