#personal babbling

I don't mind, I LOVE READING ALL THE TAGS ALWAYS omg <3

@ Irving Plaza, NYC

But I gave myself permission to dance. 😆💜

and then there is my brother who also inherited our father’s genetic disposition for Depression. He is going through the same shit I did, just three years later. We talk daily on Discord, mostly sending memes or discussing politics - with the use of memes. But also talking about Depression. 

He is really self-aware, talks about his Depression like a person, finds his little ways to deal with the days getting shorter and the pressure at work ramping up during Covid. But he is - slowly but gradually - getting tired. He’s not saying as much, but it’s in the way he talks about it, and also, I know him, and his depression, because I have been there. 

It looks like we’re both not visiting our parents for Christmas -  for the first time EVER. We still have living grandparents that we’re really close to and we just can’t risk them getting infected because they would not survive the virus. But while I am staying home with my wife and at least a couple of friends near-by, he will be staying alone in his appartement with all his flatmates gone during Christmas. I invited him over but he seems reluctant - and I know it’s not because he doesn’t wanna see me but because, well, he is tired. And it would mean to get into a train for a couple of hours and also be away of the safe space that is his own room. And I understand, I feel him, but I am also afraid what will happen if he is all alone during Christmas, after a truly awful year, after a truly grey and dark and tiring fall/winter.

I honestly hope that you are all going to have a wonderful weekend❣

I woke up super early today and am feeling calm, happy and relaxed for once, which is nice because it is not that common for me since I got mental health problems as some of you guys know.

I want to keep being happy and keep meeting amazing human beings.

I hope that you're happy too.