she didn't know that there was more to life than work - thought her sole purpose of existence was to work hard, to be the best she could be and most importantly, make her parents proud. they wanted her to be an oscar winning starlet and working towards that was all she had ever known. that is, until she walked on the set of the mickey mouse clubhouse and locked eyes with a curly haired, blue eyed shy boy that had stolen her heart from the moment she met him. she was only twelve years old, but the second she saw him sheepishly smile at her, she knew that she was home.

an outgoing child, because she was forced to be, she spent all of her time around the shy and reserved julian calvary, wanting to know everything there was to know about him, was fascinated and mesmerized by his tales of what his life was like - going to school, playing with his friends, going on family vacations. and it was through his stories that she realized for the first time that she wasn't normal and that her family wasn't actually a family. they'd spend their days on set disappearing on the backlots, running away from responsibilities and coming up with elaborate plans on how they were going to run away together.

persephone couldn't have been more excited when they both got cast in freaks and geeks together - work simply didn't feel like work when she got to be around him all day. and much to the dismay of the rest of the cast, the crew and especially, persephone's parents, as they entered being teenagers, they were even more crazy about each other. it wasn't rare to find them with their lips locked in a secluded corner, constantly entangled in each other and always needing to hold the others hand or have their arms around each other. and it was excessive, but it was the first time in her life that persephone had felt love and she swore that this was a love that she'd never let go of or tire of. whoever found themselves in the unfortunate circumstance of being in the overly affectionate couple's presence often joked that if they kept at it, they'd end up creating mini versions of themselves and boy, were they right.

she was fifteen years old when her usually, over energetic self started to feel sluggish, started hating the smell of her favorite foods and started having to run off set in the middle of filming to puke. and for weeks, she was in denial that it was nothing more than a bad stomach bug, not wanting to accept what was right in front of her face. but one day, after being too sick to show up for her call time and after realizing she had missed her time of the month, she had her assistant take her to the doctor where everything she was hiding from was confirmed - she was pregnant with twins.

she was young, but she wasn't naive enough to know what this meant - knew that the world would rip her apart, knew that her parents would rip her apart, knew that julian was just as young as she was and that what were the odds that he'd want to stick around? she was on the road to becoming a serious actress, her career just starting to blossom. she had been working since she was just two years old to get to where she was - a baby, let alone two of them, would halt everything. she was absolutely terrified and who's the first person that a girl turns to when they're scared to death? her mother.

however, she didn't get to cry into her mother's arms, didn't receive any kind of warmth or reassurance from the stoic woman. she simply said 'we'll take care of this' and scheduled her for an abortion that week. her and julian had never kept secrets from each other, and she wasn't about to start now, so she told him, but reassured him not to worry and that her mom was going to help her take care of it - not giving him a say or a chance to share his thoughts on the matter. this was her choice and she was sticking to it - having these babies would be bad for the both of them, she knew it. what she didn't know, however, was that her doctors would sell her sonograms to the tabloids the night before her abortion appointment.

the sinclairs had to completely pivot on their plans and decided that persephone and julian were going to become the poster children for making this work, an abortion after the news was out simply would be bad for both of their images and that was something the sinclairs couldn't take. overnight, the relationship that had once been her one and only safe space became something else that her parents got their hands on and because of what they had done - they were in her parents' control without even knowing it. they were hiding behind the sweet promises of 'we'll protect you two' and 'we'll take care of everything' and what kid wouldn't believe that?

austen and archibald sinclair came screaming into the world when persephone and julian were only sixteen years old, and while julian seemed more okay with it than persephone was, persephone went into absolute shock. while julian held the babies in the hospital, persephone couldn't even stand to look at them, only putting a smile on her face when the cameras from 'people magazine' came in to shoot the cover spread that was going to feature the new, happy family. but persephone was anything but. she was absolutely miserable, felt as though she could barely take care of herself and now, the weight of two lives was upon her shoulders. and her mother took note of this - noticed the look of dread and despair written all over her daughter's face - saw the way she didn't even want julian to touch her when the two had spent the past four years attached at the hip, and that's when the drugs started. lucielle and jasper needed persephone on her a-game and if numbing all the things she was feeling kept her there, then so be it.

lucielle and jasper took full control of not only the twin's lives, but julian and persephone's lives. julian was managed by the sinclairs as they put him on the path to oscar stardom that they had originally wanted persephone on and as for persephone, considering her 'girl next door, good girl' image was now tarnished, they decided to feed into what the world thought of her and turned her into an overly sexualized pop sensation. besides, two different career paths meant the more time julian and persephone spent apart and that's all the sinclairs wanted. however, despite lucielle and jasper raising their babies and the two of them on separate career paths, nothing could stand in the way of how much they loved each other. they'd fall asleep at night, wherever they were in the world, on the phone with one another, making up sweet stories about how they'd run away from all of this and start over, even though they both knew deep down that they were trapped. but it was fun playing pretend.

the only time julian and persephone spent as a family with the babies was when lucielle and jasper allowed, or when they simply wanted a photo op of the 'happy family' that had 'managed to juggle it all.' but persephone didn't know her children. she didn't know their favorite colors or what their favorite food was, didn't know how to soothe them when they were crying or even how to speak to them, julian had always done a better job at that and whenever she was around them? she just felt sad, sad that she had birthed the two most beautiful things she had ever laid eyes on and she didn't even know who they were, which caused her to take more and more drugs.

the memory that stuck out to her most was the time that they had a family beach day completely staged for the paparazzi. her and julian had been fighting because of what had been coming out in the tabloids about her and she was dreading coming face to face with the children she was forced to leave behind. she had been so high that day she was barely there, completely spaced out. it was when her little son came up to her calling her out on it that she realized that none of this was her poor babies faults, it was hers. she could win grammy after grammy and sell out show after show, but her children would always see her as nothing but a failure. she cried the rest of the day until her parents forced her to leave because she was causing a scene. after that day, she only got worse and worse as the weeks and months went on.

despite that, lucielle and jasper weren't going to lose this 'all american' branding that they had worked so hard to curate. when persephone and julian were twenty years old, lucielle gave julian a ring and simply said 'you know what to do.' the two were married in a lavish, televised wedding ceremony, their children acting as ring bearer and flower girl as they put on the show for the entire world. and persephone doesn't remember a single second of that day. she had been so spaced out at her own wedding that things between her and julian began to become tense. the image of the couple that defied the odds began to crumble as tabloids and paparazzi followed the two everywhere - the two of them often seen screaming at each other in dark clubs or persephone running away from him after another verbal spat in public. they became messy and toxic and everything they swore that they'd never be.

they only lasted four years before they inevitably divorced when they were twenty four years old and the next two years would be the worst of persephone's life. she felt as though she had no one. she lost her best friend and the only semblance of sanity she had left and fell further and further into addiction - often calling him up and picking fights whenever she saw footage of him with other girls, simply because it was the only way she could hear his voice. she spent those two years living in a hotel room in las vegas as she wore herself out performing night after night at her residency and after each and every performance, she lost a little bit more of herself while julian went on to skyrocket into a star. she hated him for being so okay without her, because losing him had sent her over the deep end.

it only took a year for her to have a complete public breakdown and at the end of her twenty four hour bender, she was exhausted. she laid on her bathroom floor - head shaved, barely able to breath, feeling life slipping away from her, as her entire life flashed before her eyes. and as she tried to think of a time where she was happy, all she could see was a twelve year old persephone and julian, running around the back lots with their hands intertwined, promising each other the world. she used her last bit of strength to reach for her phone, to call julian to say goodbye, and that was the last thing she remembered before everything went dark.

when she woke up in the hospital and saw that julian was the only one there next to her bedside, it was as if a switch went off. she was given another chance and her head immediately went to her children. all of the love she had never felt for them came rushing to her all at once and she realized that they were the reason that she didn't die that night, that they were the ones that she had to keep going for and to fight for their lives, because there was no way in hell she was going to allow them to end up like her. and one year in rehab and a grueling court case against her parents later, persephone made that happen.

upon gaining custody of the twins when they were eleven years old, her and julian immediately agreed that everything would be 50/50, that they would do whatever they could to make sure that their kids had as much of a normal life as they possibly could, that they'd do their best to rectify all of the wrong that persephone's parents had done. she immediately pulled them out of hollywood, moved out to palm springs and enrolled them in normal school as she stepped out of the spotlight and dedicated one hundred percent of her time and herself to her children. however, they both had completely different reactions to this upheaval of their lives.

while archie started out cautious and quiet, eventually warming up to persephone and becoming her little best friend, austen was defiant. she fought everything persephone tried to do, screamed that she hated her and that she wanted to go back to grandpa and grandmas and cursed her for taking her away from them. but persephone never scolded her or shouted at her. she gave her the grace to feel all of the big feelings she was feeling, she stepped back when she asked her to, and held her on the rare occasions that she allowed her to. she never wanted her kids to feel the way she felt growing up, the way she was certain her own parents had made then feel in the eleven years that they had them. as difficult as things could be at times with two pre-teens, persephone looked at them each and every day with so much love in her eyes because for the first time, she felt like she mattered, she felt like she was doing something important and while she may have failed at everything else in this world, she wasn't going to fail her kids.

while the defiance and phases of pre-teens and teenagers was inevitable, what came as a surprise to her was how involved julian had been. with her parents completely out of the picture, she grew much closer to the calvary's, who had been the ones who got her out of the mess she was in. and despite their original agreed upon schedule, they spent far more time as a family than persephone ever expected. julian was at her house more often than not - from random week night family dinners, to falling asleep on each other's shoulder on the couch when they were up all night with sick kids and they had finally gotten them to fall asleep. they made sure to fill their free time with family vacations, just the four of them, as it always should have been, and they soon realized just how well they worked as a team.

every decision about the children was made together. they faced every hardship side by side and they didn't just 'put on a united front' for the sake of the kids, they truly became each other's very best friends. the kids never saw nothing but two people with the utmost respect for one another, who genuinely enjoyed being together and couldn't help but laugh in one another's presence. and as the years went on, persephone saw more and more of the curly haired, blue eyed shy boy that had stolen her heart from the moment she met him. and she fell in love with him all over again. only this time? he has no idea. and she's convinced it's better this way, convinced that after everything they've been through, he'd never look at her the way he once did, despite how much her heart aches for him. so she's decided to bury it, for the sake of their friendship and their family.