#perlless

“Perl made the coffee at the station that mornin’. Little did we all know that her idea of coffee includes Nerds candy along with the grounds, pop rocks for sugar, and butterscotch banana creamer. LOTS of it.

[ MSG ]: God, darling, you really do send a man into a frenzy. [ MSG ]: Let him worry for missing you. [ MSG ]: 😥🍺✊🏻🍆💦 is all my life is now. [ MSG ]: Message just so I know you haven’t spontaneous combusted or worse, become dull and started focusing on a life less amusing.

OOC: I’m gonna copy @rydenbolt and do this OOC because Ephram’s not very articulate about emotional stuff  XD

Bellamy: They’re not as close as they used to be – it would be impossible, at this point, after what they’ve both been through with Anaxis. But Ephram still adores Bellamy dearly, and even though they’re not on the same mental wavelength as much, he treasures her friendship as much as he ever has. Bellamy’s always been, for him, a gateway to a world that’s entirely unlike anything he’s known (which has its good and its bad points)

Cassie: Again, they’ve grown apart as each of them started families, but Ephram will never lose his affection for Cassie. He actually considered trying to ask her to date him when they lived together, but was too unsure of himself back then and talked himself out of it by thinking he was way beneath her. Cassie’s a strange mix of comforting and distant, which is like catnip for Ephram.

Dani: He puts a considerable amount of stock in Dani’s forensic abilities and enjoys watching them work. Good work relationships mean a lot to Ephram, so even though they’re not drinking buddies or anything, Ephram really likes Dani on their work merits.

Danny: Another work compatriot. Plus, Danny is a fairy friend for Freddie – which Ephram is pleased about – and he has Steve, who’s incredible, and he’s just a nice bloke on his own merits. 

Elena: How could he not like Elena? Even if they hadn’t slept together and immensely enjoyed it, Ephram is charmed by her free-and-easy nature and the fact that it’s not a one-note thing – she’s got plenty of character under there.

Faye: Despite everything, Ephram will always always love Faye. He’s unflaggingly loyal to family like that, where even when you’re not getting along you still love each other. He worries that Faye doesn’t feel the same, though, and she’ll one day get sick of his emotional neediness when it comes to her providing him comfort and approval. He tends to get somewhat jealous of anybody who gets the lion’s share of her attention.

Freddie: The light of his life, the miracle. It’s not even exaggeration because it was Freddie’s fairy dust that kept him alive, and the closeness and support they give each other is like nothing either of them has had before. For two individuals with such disparate backgrounds to find themselves as emotionally enmeshed as Freddie and Ephram are, it’s always a wondrous thing, and Ephram feels that way all the time. And doesn’t hesitate to let Freddie know, verbally or physically. Freddie, more than anybody, has helped Ephram to come to grips with (some of) his past and understand that he’s a worthwhile human being.

Maya: This is still a little tenuous, because while Ephram likes Maya and wouldn’t mind having her as a pseudo-niece, he’s not sure that Maya likes him at all.

Ollie: Won’t spend too much time on this one, but suffice it to say that Ephram loves Ollie. There’s really no other option.

sometimes you get lost and you wind up on my doorstep, but it’s okay– you’re always welcome here. i tell you all the secrets i’ve been keeping from myself while you peel apart at the edges and admit to all the soft things you pretend you don’t know how to feel.

mushmellon:

This is what happens if you have a lil informal book club at work and it’s Perl’s turn to choose. She has a matching wardrobe and you all sit in the lunchroom arguing for an hour and a half what position they’re in until you end up having to physically mime it to prove your point.

perl-less answered:

[TXT] Boooooo! 💓 Beau! 💕 Babe! 💖 Bby! 💘 Loverb 💞 Yooohooo! 😘 😍 💋

[TXT] I heard Snorey Corey 😫 💤 sent you on like the lamest stake-pouts ever. 😪 Tell me was it the hypoglycemic werewolf hogging all the treats 🐺 🍪 ? That one gross naga that keeps littering it’s shed skin around beach park 🐍 🚮 ? Or are you trying to finally catch those nasty fairy teens that keep putting up the glamour grafitti that moons old Missus Tenenbaum everytime she walks by 🍑 👵 ? STG the old bat never shuts up about that, she calls every fuckin day I just made a recording that says “Mmm mmhmmm oh that’s a shame” over and over a-fucking-gain. 🙉 😝

[TXT] NEWAY, lemme know what I can order you tomorrow from the bakery 🍰 🍪 🍩 . BTW they have a special on cinnamon-bun-muffins or whatever 😥 , if that assuages your troubled decision.

[TXT] Alsoooooo I learned how to buzz myself through the lines 🔌 ⚡ 📞 soooo if you get to bored I can pop in anytime you like, as long as you’re down with me popping up naked.  😉

[TXT] Haven’t figured out how to bring shit with me, or if that’s even possible, IDK, anyway I can’t bring more coffee ☕ 😔 . I knooow what a shame right? 😞

[TXT] Snorey Corey? Perl that’s our boss. But it’s funny so I’ll just leave it at a token protest. Stake-pouts tho is great.

[TXT] I’m gonna send Cassie undercover to stalk that werewolf. I mean now and again fine, but he does it all week!  And I talked to that naga, they said they had a scale condition and apologized for not properly cleaning up so that’s good.

[TXT] Perl Mrs Tenenbaum is a citizen just like everybody else and we should take her complaints serious like. Besides those fairy teens are clearly assholes and I don’t just mean the disturbingly accurate graffiti. 

[TXT] Your method of responding to her seems legit tho

[TXT] Yeah get me three of them cinnamon bunmuffins. With sweet frost.

@perl-less  answered:

You say a lot of things Pettals, about guns and hands and being tall. Sounds to me like you have fun lording about the rest of Sumner like we, the people, are just some short-shorties to be discarded and discounted for your illicit sex scandals.

I plan to live stream all my campaign events, and then there’s that party that I will probably throw!

Wait, are you telling me you actually show up at church suppers and picnics, and thrift sales?  😩

Pettals! Now I like that, yes I do. I don’t got any illicit sex scandals though! My sex business is all licit as hell. And I don’t figure I’m gonna need to rely on flashy internet videos or wild parties to gain supporters. Because yeah I totally show up at all them things and I dunno, maybe it’s old-fashioned but I don’t believe you can buy goodwill.

@perl-less

[TXT] UUUUUUGGGHUGUGUG I was just getting ready to give you one of those special messages, handcrafted lovingly and especially for you. Artisanal campaigning that’s my platform. Organic Platforms, and farm-raised talking points. That’s what the fuck I’m about.

[TXT] JK jk but only bout the last part. The rest is srs af. Real talk I was gonna leave a message. Bluh whatever I still am, prepare your body.

[TXT] Hey Mal-Pal, guess who’s running for sheriff?? Your bff! Vote for me I’m the best!

[TXT] Awesome right?