synopsis: the kim sisters go on their annual summer trip to hawaii, but this time around, y/n decides to bring her girlfriend, minjeong.
a/n: this is just an idea i had while writing something for my other series: the variable
THE FLIGHT
the video starts with y/n leaning against jennieâs shoulder in the backseat of a car. the blackpink member zooms in on her younger sisterâs face, causing y/n to smile and hit the camera playfully.
jennie quickly turns the camera to herself and starts speaking. âweâre currently on our way to the airport, weâre going to be in hawaii for a week. are you excited?â she turns to her younger sister, who nods rapidly.
ây/n is taking her âfriendâ with us this time, so sheâs meeting us there at the airport.â y/nâs lips curve into a small smile as she shakes her head at her sisterâs remark and looks out the window.Â
a quick cut shows y/n running up to another person in a hoodie. jennie chuckles lightly and zooms in on the two embracing. thereâs a second cut and y/n is recording with her head against someoneâs shoulder.
âguess who's coming with us,â she says in a sing-song tone and shows the camera, revealing minjeongâs face. the aespa member smiles and waves, earning a chuckle from y/n behind the camera.
âcute.â the younger kim whispers at the sight of her girlfriend. minjeong smiles sheepishly before jennieâs voice is heard in the background.Â
âiâm sitting in between you two on the flight.â
SHOPPING IN HONOLULU
jennie points the camera at minjeong and laughs as she watches her carry several bags in her arms. âare you sure you can carry all of that?â
the blonde shakes her head quickly, looking over in the direction of where y/n appears to be somewhere off screen. the girls seem to be at a mall.
âmy arms are about to fall off. i think i need to get back to the gym.â minjeong jokes, earning a laugh from jennie. y/n comes into frame with two more bags in her hand shortly after.
jennie puts her little sister into the frame of the camera. âwhat did you buy?â she asked while minjeong can be seen adjusting the bags she was holding and stretching her arms.
y/n smiles and waves the bags playfully in front of the lens. ânew bathing suits and a new charger because i forgot mine on the plane.âÂ
âiâll hold them,â minjeong quickly says as she gently takes the bags out of the younger kimâs hands. the action causes the older kim to start laughing.
jennie focuses the camera back onto herself and shakes her head as the trio began walking out of the store. before the clip ends, y/n and minjeongâs voices can be heard off frame.
âbaby, youâre already holding everything, itâll be too heavy.â âitâs nothing, now let me hold it.â
THE BEACH
y/n is seen filming this time, showing the scenery around her. she zooms in on jennie, who seems to be taking a small nap in the shade with her sunglasses on.
âunnie deserves a good rest,â the younger kim whispers to the camera before it cuts to the next part, where sheâs walking with minjeong as the sun sets behind them.Â
minjeong waves to the camera quickly before pointing at the beautiful sunset behind them. âlook how beautiful,â she gently takes the camera from y/n to show the sky better.
âmore beautiful than me?â y/n says quickly as she jumps in front of the sm idolâs shot. both flustered and amused by the girlâs actions, all minjeong can do is chuckle. âmidnight's album is out july 7th.â
âweâre on vacation and youâre promoting your groupâs album?â minjeong teases as she gently shoves the other idol. âof course i am,â y/n replies with a smile. âi care about my stargazers.â
âdo they know iâm the number one stargazer?â minjeong says quickly as she wraps an arm around y/nâs shoulder. the younger kim points the camera at the other girl again while laughing at her remark.
âyouâre not, jennie is.â
THE HOTEL
jennie is seen in pajamas and laying in bed with the hotel tv on. âiâm so tired today, we decided to go snorkeling so we couldnât film it.â the blackpink member snickered as she recalled an event from earlier that day.
âif you guys didnât know, y/n doesnât like snorkeling because the last time we went, a fish went up to her mouth.â
almost immediately, y/nâs voice is heard from off camera.
âjennie unnie,â she groans playfully before climbing into bed with her sister and laying on top of her. she was in a pj set exactly like jennieâs. âdonât expose me.â
jennie chuckles as y/n joins her in bed, wrapping her arms around her sister in a playful hug. âsorry, but it's too funny not to share,â jennie teases, affectionately tousling y/n's hair.Â
y/n lets out a mock sigh, feigning annoyance. âi should tell everyone about your swimsuit incident,â she says, shooting jennie a mock glare before breaking into a grin.
jennie gasps dramatically, feigning shock. âyou wouldn't dare!â she exclaims, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. the younger girl giggles, knowing she has the upper hand in this playful exchange.Â
âoh, i think blinks would love to hear about the great swimsuit malfunction of 2024,â she teases, poking jennie's side. âso what happened wasââ
before y/n could finish her sentence, her sister put her hand over her mouth. âweâll see you in the morning,â she said loudly to the camera, struggling to keep her hand over the younger girlâs mouth.Â
âgoodnight!â
YACHT
âtoday weâre spending the afternoon on a boat,â y/n says as she leans against jennieâs shoulder. âminjeongie is taking pictures over there.â she points the camera towards the deck where the aespa member is taking pictures of herself.Â
âiâm wearing a blue swimsuit today to match minjeongâs,â y/n takes the camera and shows a quick glimpse of her blue bikini. âyesterday we didnât film it, but i was matching with jennie unnie at the other beach.â
a quick montage of the ocean, sky, and the trio taking pictures is shown before jennie is the only one in frame. she zooms in on the two younger idols who appear to be taking polaroids with each other.
ây/n always brings her polaroid everywhere,â jennie explains while the focus is still on the other two girls. âsheâs always showing her pictures to lisa.â
suddenly, minjeong is seen leaning in very close to y/nâs face. âhey!â jennie shouts at the aespa member, causing her to immediately sit straight up and back away from y/n with her hands in the air.
y/n rolls her eyes playfully and laughs at her sisterâs antics. âshe was moving something out of my face, unnie.â
âiâm sure she was.â
jennie said as she made her way over to the pair and sat in between them before waving goodbye to the camera with a blushing minjeong and a smiling y/n.
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synopsis: despite being broken up, you bet your wealthy ex-girlfriend still thinks about you.
there were many things you enjoyed about dating kim jisoo. the way her laughter could light up a room, soft but knowing, like she was in on a joke no one else understood. how her touch was always delicateâcalculated, evenâas if everything she laid her hands on was an extension of the control she had over the world around her.
but her wealth and status? no, those were never the reasons you stayed.
even now, walking down the narrow, cobblestone streets where red and gold leaves scattered beneath your feet, you couldnât help but be swallowed by memories of her. the crisp autumn air bit at your skin, a sharp reminder of the past, tugging at your thoughts like the wind tugged at your coat. it was in this season that jisoo had always seemed to glow brightest. her beauty matched the fallâeffortless, rich, like a vintage painting come to life. she was untouchable.
however, she was just as cruel.
you just didnât realize it at the time. how her perfectly manicured fingersâalways cold to the touch, always adorned with rings that shimmered in the dying autumn lightâhad dug deep, not into your skin, but into your spirit. each time she mentioned your "quaint" lifestyle, your "charming" lack of understanding about the finer things in life, it had been wrapped in a velvet glove of affection, so you hardly noticed the sting at first.
it had felt like walking through the falling leaves, admiring the beauty, unaware that winter was creeping closer, ready to strip everything bare.
she had always made sure you knew she was from another worldâone where silk sheets were the norm, where every meal came with a waitstaff and a glass of wine you could hardly pronounce. her apartment had been like a showroom, sterile and pristine, with floor-to-ceiling windows that stretched out over the city like a kingdom she ruled from above. and you, standing in the middle of it all, had felt small.
but now, in the aftermath, you could see how she had looked at you, like a pet project. an amusing distraction.
you remember the last dinner you shared at some restaurant you couldnât pronounce, where the chandeliers above flickered against the dim light and the leaves outside the window swirled like some gilded snowstorm. she had ordered for you without asking, her voice as smooth and cool as the autumn breeze that crept into the cracks of your jacket.
"itâs adorable," she had said, waving her hand dismissively at your confusion when the plates arrived, "how little you know about this. really. itâs sweet."
at the time, youâd laughed it off, sipping the wine that burned your throat more than it soothed. but now you realize how sharp her words had been, each one a blade wrapped in silk.
the holiday parties were even worse.
youâd always felt out of place, like an actor in the wrong movie, wandering through rooms filled with people who looked like they belonged in some old-world painting. there were always murmurs of stocks and art auctions, people in tailored suits that hung off them like armor. you, in your off-the-rack blazer, had felt like an imposter. but jisoo, with her arm linked loosely through yours, had moved through the crowd effortlessly, her smile cold and practiced, like she knew every secret and every face in the room.
the air inside was thick with perfume and candlelight, but it never warmed you. outside, through the towering windows of the penthouse venues, you could always catch glimpses of the world you belonged toâthe same city, but miles away, where people didnât wear silk scarves that cost more than your rent or talk about vacation homes in hushed, reverent tones. the autumn leaves that still clung to the trees seemed desperate, the last few hanging on in the icy wind. much like you had been, clinging to jisooâs side, pretending not to notice the subtle, cutting remarks sheâd make about your clothes, your taste in music, your background.
"you know," sheâd say in that breathy, disinterested tone of hers, eyes scanning the room like a queen surveying her subjects, "maybe next time you could wear something⊠a little more appropriate for the occasion?"
the words had stung, but youâd smiled, nodding like you hadnât just been dressed down in front of people who already looked at you like you were her charity case. youâd downed your drink, hoping the burn of it would distract from the ache in your chest, while jisoo had already moved on, laughing airily at some joke from a man whose name you couldnât remember, but whose disdainful eyes stayed with you long after the night was over.
at those parties, sheâd always introduce you the same way: âthis is y/n.â
nothing more, nothing less. like you were just another accessoryâanother piece of her perfectly arranged life. your name alone always hung in the air, stiff and formal, with no affection behind it.Â
it was a title, not a connection.
but the way she spoke about herself was different. she was kim jisoo, daughter of one of the wealthiest families in seoul, a woman who everyone admired but no one truly knew. she never missed a chance to remind people of her lineage, of her success, of the places sheâd been that you could only dream of. youâd stand there, smiling politely, the outsider in your own relationship, as she charmed the room with stories of her luxury trips to europe or some exclusive party sheâd attended.
you used to tell yourself that maybe this was just her worldâone you didnât quite understand but could learn to navigate. after all, you thought, love was supposed to be about growing, about adapting to each other. but now, looking back, you see it differently. you hadnât been adapting. you had been erasing yourself.
you remember the first time youâd seen her living roomâeverything about it had been a display of understated opulence. the couch, soft and inviting, had been custom-made in italy, a piece of furniture that cost more than youâd make in a year. the kind of thing you wouldnât even dare to sit on without an invitation.
sheâd caught you staring at it once, your fingers brushing lightly over the velvety surface, as if afraid youâd leave some permanent mark on it.
âdo you like it?â sheâd asked, her tone casual, almost playful, as she kicked off her shoes. organic shoes, sheâd saidâhandcrafted by a designer who only used sustainably sourced materials, each pair worth thousands. sheâd tossed them carelessly to the side, as if they were nothing more than an afterthought.
âitâs beautiful,â youâd breathlessly answered, unsure of how to respond. what else could you say? the couch was more than a place to sit. it was a symbol of everything that separated you from her.
the older woman had smiled, that knowing little smile of hers, and settled onto the couch, curling her legs beneath her. âit should be,â sheâd replied, her voice laced with a subtle arrogance. âit cost a fortune. but you canât put a price on comfort, can you?â
the couch, the shoes, the apartmentâit was all part of the same narrative. jisooâs life was meticulously designed, every element perfectly placed to reflect her status. even her so-called love of organic, sustainable products wasnât about caring for the earth; it was about showing the world that she could afford to care. it was another layer of the image she presented, another way to remind you that you didnât quite belong.
the shoesâthose ridiculously expensive shoesâhad been one of the first things youâd noticed about her. how she would glide through the city in them, effortlessly chic, while you tried to keep up in your well-worn sneakers. how she never seemed to care about the price tag, because to her, money wasnât something you worried about. it was something you had. something you displayed.
you remember asking her about them once, marveling at their craftsmanship, at the intricate details stitched into the leather. âtheyâre nice, right?â sheâd said, almost bored with the conversation. âmade by a small artisan. i like supporting brands that are more...conscious. but itâs not just about the shoes, you know? itâs about a lifestyle.â
at the time, youâd nodded along, impressed by her philosophy, thinking there was something admirable about her commitment to sustainability. but now, with the clarity that only distance can bring, you see it differently. it wasnât about responsibility or caring for the environmentâit was about exclusivity.Â
jisoo didnât just buy things; she bought status. and as a result, she never let you forget where you came from.
she didnât need to say it outright; her silences were louder than any words. the way her gaze would graze over your simple gifts, a flash of disappointment quickly masked by a too-sweet smile. the way her laughter, always so soft and melodic to anyone else, would carry a sharp edge when sheâd point out how "cute" your attempts to impress her were. every look, every gesture, had been a reminder: you would never be enough.
and the holidays only magnified the divide between you. her family gatherings were a spectacleâelegant, with a quiet kind of opulence, but they were colder than the snow beginning to fall outside. conversations were distant, sterile, filled with politeness and half-meant compliments. youâd watch as jisooâs mother raised an eyebrow at you, a polite but questioning smile on her lips, while her father barely acknowledged your presence at all, too engrossed in conversations about business acquisitions and real estate.
you remember the first time you had brought her home to meet your family. the warmth in the room had been undeniable, even if the house had been modest. the table was small, the plates mismatched, and the wine was cheap, but there had been laughter. real, full-bodied laughter, the kind that left your cheeks flushed. but jisoo had sat there, stiff and out of place, a polite smile frozen on her lips as she delicately picked at her food. she had said all the right things, but you could tellâshe didnât belong in your world, just as you didnât belong in hers.
and after that night, sheâd never come back. not once.
"itâs not my kind of environment," sheâd said, as if your family home was some quaint little corner of a forgotten world. but you hadnât pushed it. youâd just smiled, hoping that love would eventually smooth out the rough edges between your lives.
but it never did.
your image of her entirely changed once she launched her own dior collaboration.
the transformation was undeniable. jisoo had always been poised, elegant, and out of reach, but when her dior collaboration was announced, it was as if she ascended to another level entirelyâa world you never truly belonged to. the moment you saw her in those campaign ads, draped in luxury from head to toe, with that distant, unreadable expression in her eyes, you realized something had shifted. it wasnât just the clothes or the brandâit was her.
the once subtle differences between you were now glaring. sheâd always had a way of making you feel small, of making the simplest moments feel like they were being measured against some invisible standard. but now, with the worldâs eyes on her, she no longer had to hide it. she wore her superiority like couture, and her status was no longer just an undercurrent in your relationshipâit was the defining feature.
you remember scrolling through your phone that first day the campaign was released, seeing her everywhereâbillboards, social media, magazines. her image was iconic, flawless, unattainable. the woman in those pictures wasnât the same person you once loved, or perhaps she was, and you had simply refused to see it. the jisoo in dior was the one the world adored: polished, elegant, and untouchable. and the jisoo you had knownâthe one who laughed with you on lazy sundays, who curled up next to you in bed with soft whispersâfelt like a figment of your imagination.
that night, you sat in your apartment, surrounded by the faint scent of coffee and fallen leaves, watching her face appear on the tv during yet another interview. the host praised her for her taste, her grace, and asked how it felt to be a global ambassador for such a prestigious brand. jisoo smiled that small, practiced smile, the kind that could melt an audience but had always left you feeling cold.
âitâs an honor, truly,â she said, her voice as smooth as ever. âiâve always been drawn to the finer things in life, and working with dior is the perfect alignment of that vision.â
drawn to the finer things. those words echoed in your mind long after the interview ended. it wasnât that she loved the finer thingsâanyone couldâbut the way she lived for them, the way they seemed to define her, made you realize just how different you were.
the last time you saw her in person, it was the tail end of last fall, the leaves almost entirely stripped from the trees, the sky a muted shade of gray. youâd met for coffee, though it felt more like a final performance than a reunion. she had walked in, dressed head-to-toe in dior, effortlessly chic in her monochromatic outfit, the click of her heels on the hardwood floor echoing like some distant reminder of all the ways she had outgrown you.
she hadnât even taken off her sunglasses, those oversized black lenses that concealed any hint of vulnerability. the moment she sat down, you knewâthis was the end.
âiâm heading to paris for fashion week,â she had said casually, as if she were talking about a trip to the grocery store. âthings have been busy.â
you remember nodding, unsure of what to say, feeling the weight of the unspoken words between you. there was no warmth in her gaze, no familiarity in her voice. the woman sitting across from you was a stranger, more concerned with her schedule, her image, her empire, than with you.
when you finally found your voice, all you could manage was, âiâm happy for you.â it sounded hollow, even to your own ears.
she had smiledâan empty, fleeting gesture. âthanks. itâs good to hear you say that.â her leaving behind the scent of her designer perfume felt more symbolic than it probably should have,
thatâs when you knewâthere was nothing left of what you once had.Â
jisoo wasnât just a woman anymore. she was a brand. a symbol. a masterpiece crafted by the very world she belonged to. and you? you were simply a chapter in her rise to the top, forgotten as soon as the ink dried.
you didnât date kim jisoo for her wealth.Â
you dated her for the way she seemed to know the world in a way you never couldâconfident, poised, above it all. you thought that maybe, by loving her, you could somehow touch that world too. but love wasnât what had tied you together. not really.
it had been power.
she loved the way you looked at her, like you were eternally trying to catch up. the way you stumbled over the names of her favorite designers, or blinked in confusion when she mentioned some art exhibit you hadnât even heard of. she loved the control. and youâgod, you had loved her for it. back then, you thought it was awe. now you see it for what it was: submission.
but there, in the middle of the bustling autumn streets, as you watch the leaves scatter across the pavement in a dance as fleeting as your relationship, you find yourself wonderingâdoes she think about you?
does she ever sit in that apartment of hers, surrounded by luxury and untouched by the season, and wonder what it would be like to be less than perfect? does she ever close her eyes and picture the messier parts of love, the parts she could never let herself fall into?
you smile bitterly, pulling your coat tighter around yourself. maybe she does.
maybe, even now, as you wander through the city you had once explored together, her mind drifts to youâthe one person who had never fit neatly into the frame of her perfectly curated life. maybe she remembers how, despite everything, you were never quite small enough to be molded.Â
and maybe, just maybe, in her moments of silence, with her designer bags and high-rise views, she thinks about how sheâll never find someone quite like you again. someone who saw her for more than just the polished surface she presented to the world. someone who, despite it all, had loved herâflaws, cruelty, and all.
the wind howls, scattering more leaves into the air, and you watch as they swirl and disappear. thereâs a certain beauty to the way things fall apart, you realize. a kind of freedom in it.
jisoo might not know that, but you do. however, your mind refused to let you rest.
it was 3 am, and you were still wide awake. the cold light of your phone screen cast shadows on the walls of your tiny apartment, worlds away from the penthouse where jisoo was probably fast asleep. you imagined her there, wrapped in those luxurious silk sheets, her breath steady, undisturbed by thoughts of you. in her city. the one that always felt a little brighter, a little shinier than yours. a place you never quite belonged.
your mind wandered, picturing her with someone new. someone from her world. the kind of girl who knew all the right names to drop at fancy dinners, who could wear those thousand-dollar organic shoes without feeling like an imposter. a girl with a perfect pedigree, someone who her friends probably thought was âbetterâ than you. you could almost hear them whispering it, their voices low but full of certainty.
it wasnât long ago that you had tried to fit into those circles. youâd been the outsider, awkward and out of place in jisooâs world of high-society dinners and private parties. but you tried, back when love made you brave, when you thought if you just held her hand tight enough, the rest would fall into place.
they let you sit at the table, once. out of courtesy, or maybe because you were still attached to her arm like an accessory she wasnât ready to give up. youâd laugh when they laughed, your smile tight as they sat around talking about the meaning of life, throwing around names of philosophers and books youâd never heard of.
âthe book that just saved me,â one of them had said, casually, like it was a known fact that certain books saved people. youâd smiled and nodded, even though the title flew right over your head, another reminder of how little you belonged.
jisoo had glanced at you then, her eyes softening in the way they sometimes did when she noticed you struggling. she squeezed your hand under the table, like she used to when you were still hers, when you thought her world was one you could live in.
but that was before. before the doubts crept in, before the weight of her world pressed down on you. now, it felt like sheâd moved on, maybe even found someone who fit in effortlessly where you never could. someone who didnât have to pretend.
you rolled over, the silence of your room closing in, and you couldnât help but wonder if she was asleep now, completely at peace. and if the girl in her bed had the right name, the right look, and could keep up with her friends when they talked about art and life and all the things that always seemed just out of your reach.
the thought made your chest ache, that deep, familiar loneliness that always seemed to come with thinking about her. about them. those nights when you sat in the background, silently wishing you could be enough. but no matter how much you tried, you could never quite silence the feeling that jisooâs friends were always comparing you to someone else, someone better.
and tonight, even though you knew it was pointless, you couldnât stop wondering if they were telling her that the new girl was everything you never could be. or maybe jisoo was out at one of those cool indie concerts she dragged herself to every week, trying to feel young, trying to prove she was still part of the scene, even though she didnât belong there any more than you did. it was always about feeling cooler than she actually was, pretending she wasnât inching further from the age of the crowd around her.
but even with her friends laughing by her side, pretending to be someone else, you knew the truth.Â
the house was quiet in the way that only a place untouched by time could be. sunlight stretched through the window in faded ribbons, catching on the fine dust that hovered in the air, untouched by movement. ivory had slept too longâlong enough for the day to start slipping toward evening, long enough for the weight in her bones to feel less like exhaustion and more like avoidance.
when she finally shuffled into the kitchen, there was already a cup of coffee waiting. not steaming, but still warm, the heat dull against her palms when she curled her fingers around the ceramic. across the counter, the woman who had placed it there lingered, watching without watching, her hand resting idly against the marble like she had been waiting for something that never arrived.
for a while, neither spoke.
the silence between them wasnât new. it was built from old bricks, cemented by the things they had never figured out how to say. the younger girl took a sip of the coffee. it was made just the way she liked it.Â
that alone made her stomach twist.
her mother exhaled slowly, shifting her weight. âyou can stay as long as you need.â the words settled between them, heavier than they should have been.
janeâs slender fingers tightened reflexively around the mug, as if it could be the only source of grounding in that fragile moment. âthatâs not how this works.âÂ
âi donât care how it works.â jennie replied without hesitation. there was a brief pause before she continued again, tucking a strand of her own loose hair out of her eyes. âyou donât have to rush into anything.â
a bitter scoff pressed against the back of ivoryâs teeth, but she swallowed it down. the thought of staying hereâof being cocooned in this familiar, yet unfamiliar space, waiting for the storm outside to passâfelt too much like pressing pause on a life that wasnât waiting for her to catch up.
she slowly set the cup down with a quiet clink. âand then what?â each word is slow and deliberate, as if she was expecting some sort of catch, or perhaps a way to never face the reality that loomed so large outside these four walls.
âthen we figure it out.â
the âweâ caught her off guard.
there had been no âweâ for years. only phone calls that rang too long, missed moments softened by expensive gifts, letters never sent. a life built in separate rooms, separate countries, separate realities.
and yet, here they were, pretending there was something salvageable between them.
ivoryâs gentle gaze dropped to her hands, tracing the rim of her cup with the pad of her thumb. âyou think thatâs possible?â she whispered, the implication evident without any more explanation.
her mother hesitated. just for a mere second. but it was enough.
the truth settled in the space between them, quiet and suffocating.
maybe neither of them knew how to be a mother and daughter. maybe they never even truly had.
the clock on the wall ticked forward, measuring the silence between them in steady, indifferent beats. the weight of it pressed against ivoryâs ribs, a quiet suffocation she had learned to live with. it had always been like this between themâwords clipped before they could be said, emotions restrained, careful.
her motherâs hands twitched where they rested against the counter, fingers curling ever so slightly before she stilled them again. she looked the same as alwaysâpoised, untouchable, beautiful in the way that had made her a legend long before ivory ever knew what it meant to belong to her. but in the soft glow of the afternoon, there was something weary in her eyes. something fragile beneath the surface, like glass just before it cracks.
ivory swallowed, the taste of coffee bitter on her tongue. âi donât know if i want to figure it out.â the words left her mouth before she had the chance to stop them, and the moment they were out in the open, she wished she could take them back.
something flickered across her motherâs faceâhurt, maybe. but it was gone before she could be sure.
âi know,â was all she said. and somehow, that was worse.
the ache curled itself deeper into ivoryâs chest. she had expected an argument, a sharp retort, something to grasp onto. but instead, there was only quiet acceptance. the kind that made her feel like she was slipping further away, like there was nothing tethering them together except the undeniable fact of what they once were.
she looked away, eyes drifting to the floor, then to the window where the sun had begun its slow descent. she had spent years imagining what it would be like to stand in front of her mother like this, with nothing between them except everything they had never said.
it didnât feel like closure. it just felt hollow.
her mother sighed, soft and almost imperceptible. âyou can still stay.â
ivory hesitated. âfor how long?â
âfor as long as you need.â
the words should have been comforting, but instead, they sat heavy in her chest. she didnât know what she needed. didnât know if this was a bridge being built or if they were just two people standing at the edge of something that had already collapsed.
she ran her fingers along the rim of her cup again, the warmth fading, leaving only the ghost of heat behind.
âokay,â she said finally, barely above a whisper.
her mother didnât smile. she didnât reach across the counter, didnât try to make it something it wasnât. she only nodded, as if that single syllable was the most they could manage.
and maybe it was.
the clock on the wall ticked forward, measuring the silence between them in steady, indifferent beats. the weight of it pressed against ivoryâs ribs, a quiet suffocation she had learned to live with. it had always been like this between themâwords clipped before they could be said, emotions restrained, careful.
across the counter, her motherâs fingers twitched before stilling against the marble, a hesitation so small it would have been easy to miss. but ivory didnât miss it. she never had. she had spent a lifetime attuned to the subtleties of the woman in front of her; the way her jaw tensed when she was thinking too hard, the way her hands curled when she wanted to reach out but didnât know how.
for all her motherâs poise, for all the ways the world saw her as untouchable, it was in moments like these that she felt painfully human.
âi donât know if i want to figure it out.â the words left ivoryâs mouth before she had the chance to stop them, and the moment they were out in the open, she wished she could take them back.
something flickered across her motherâs face. hurt, maybe. but it was gone before the younger girl could be sure.
âi know,â was all she said. and somehow, that was worse. there was no fight, no sharp retort, no insistence that they try. just quiet acceptance. the kind that made her feel like she was slipping further away, like there was nothing tethering them together except the undeniable fact of what they once were.
ivory looked away, cat-like eyes drifting to the floor, then to the window where the sun had begun its slow descent. she had spent years imagining what it would be like to stand in front of her mother like this, with nothing between them except everything they had never said.
it didnât feel like closure. it just felt hollow.
her mother sighed, soft and almost imperceptible to someone who wouldnât be sitting this close to her.Â
âyou can still stay.â
ivory hesitated. âfor how long?â
âfor as long as you need.â
the words should have been comforting, but instead, they sat heavy in her chest. she didnât know what she needed. didnât know if this was a bridge being built or if they were just two people standing at the edge of something that had already collapsed.
and yet, she wasnât blind to the struggle on the other end of it. it had taken her far too long to realize that this wasnât easy for her mother either.Â
she thought of the quiet sacrificesâthe ones she had been too young to understand, the ones she had willfully ignored. the endless flights back and forth, the phone calls left to ring not because of carelessness but because of exhaustion. the way her mother had tried, in the only ways she knew how, with gifts wrapped in ribbons and words spoken through other people because directness had never been their strength.
she had always been waiting for a version of her mother who knew exactly what to do, how to love her in all the ways she needed. but what if that version never existed? what if, just like her, she had been figuring it out as she went, doing her best even when it was never enough?
ivory ran her fingers along the rim of her cup again, the warmth fading, leaving only the ghost of heat behind.
âokay,â she said finally, barely above a whisper. her mother didnât smile. she didnât reach across the counter, didnât try to make it something it wasnât. she only nodded, as if that single syllable was the most they could manage.
and maybe it was.
when ivory made her way back to her room, it smelled faintly of lavender. it wasnât the scent of a new space but of one carefully curated, pieced together from the fragments of a past she had long since left behind.
kumaâs nails clicked softly against the hardwood as he followed her inside, his round, aged eyes looking up at her with quiet expectancy. he had always been a patient little thing, even when she was a child tugging him into her arms, chattering away about whatever nonsense had filled her head that day.
she knelt down, letting her fingers sink into his thick, graying fur. âhey, old man,â she murmured, scratching gently behind his ears the way he liked. he let out a small huff of approval, leaning into her touch.
ivory reached for the small bag of snacks she had found on the bedside table (clearly left for her, like so many other things in this room) and took out a tiny piece of jerky, holding it between her fingers. kuma sniffed it once before taking it delicately, chewing with slow, deliberate motions.
ivory exhaled, letting herself settle into the quiet. it was easier like this. just her and kuma, no words, no expectations.
her gaze flickered across the room, taking in the details. the furniture was new, but the essence of it wasnât. the softest sheets, the pillows stacked just the way she used to like them. a shelf lined with books she barely remembered reading but knew had once been her favorites.
and then, there were the boxes.
she hadnât noticed them at first, tucked carefully into the corner as if they had been waiting for her to rediscover them. a strange feeling curled in her chest as she reached for the first one, peeling back the lid.
inside, ribbons. bows in soft pastels, some slightly frayed at the edges from years of use. she picked one upâlight pink, satin, still neatly tied. she used to wear them all the time. her grandmother used to fix them in her hair before school, gentle fingers smoothing down flyaways.
she swallowed the lump in her throat and set it aside, moving on to the next box.
this one was heavier. she opened it to find stacks of old photographs, some in envelopes, others loose. the kind taken with a disposable camera, the colors slightly faded, the edges curled.
she pulled out the first one and let out a quiet breath.
her finger covered half the frame, but she could still make out the imageâher mother, seated in a makeup chair, a stylist working on her eyeliner. the date on the back was barely legible, but it must have been years ago.
she shuffled through more. a shot of her mother, asleep on the couch in jieunâs home, one arm curled under her head. another of kuma, much younger, standing in a bathtub with a guilty-looking jennie beside him, hands stained with traces of blue and yellow paint. ivory barely remembered that day, but suddenly, it came back in flashesâhow she had wanted to make kuma âprettier,â how her mother had sighed but laughed through it, gently scrubbing the paint out of his fur.
the photos were endless snapshots of a life she had long since convinced herself was too distant to reach for. her fingers trembled slightly as she picked up another one, the glossy print curling at the edges. it was blurry, the kind of shot taken in haste, but she could still make out the sceneâa much younger ivory clearly running off with a much younger kuma in her arms.
she barely remembered that day, but the warmth of it seeped into her bones like something familiar.
another photo was one of her mother outside of a performance venue, bundled in a thick coat, one arm slung around jieunâs shoulder as they both smiled at the camera. ivory recognized the building, the soft glow of streetlights casting shadows against the pavement. it was a rare night that she had been there too, clinging to her motherâs sleeve. she mostly remembered being half-asleep in the back of a black van waiting for the idol to finish her rehearsals.
she swallowed, reaching for the next item, but this time, it wasnât a photo.
a tiny bracelet, tucked carefully at the bottom of the box. the elastic was stretched, but the small white beads were still intact, spelling out her name in block letters.
ivory traced her fingers over them, the ghost of a memory flickering to life. she had worn this every day in elementary school, a gift from her mother after one of her first big performances. she had lost it onceâcried for hours thinking it was gone foreverâonly for her mother to find it in the backseat of the car, slipping it onto her wrist before bedtime with a soft, âitâs okay. iâll always keep track of you.â
her throat tightened.
her gaze fell to another item, nestled between the photos. a silk scarf, delicate and impossibly soft beneath her fingertips. she recognized it instantlyâthe chanel pattern, the muted golds and blues.
paris. fashion week. she had been too young to go, still in school, but her mother had called her late at night, voice tired but excited.
âiâll bring something back for you.â
she had thought it would be a keychain, a souvenir from an airport shop. instead, jennie had pulled her aside after returning home, slipping the scarf into her hands with a conspiratorial smile.
âdonât tell anyone, okay? this was part of my outfit.â
ivory had worn it everywhere around the house. around her neck, draped over her hair, even tied it around her wrist a few times before eventually tucking it away somewhere. she had completely forgotten about it.Â
and yet, her mother hadnât.
she exhaled shakily, setting the scarf down. kuma shifted beside her, pressing his small, warm body against her leg. she reached out instinctively, running a hand over his fur, grounding herself.
her mother had kept everything.
not just the big things. not just the glossy, polished memories that made their way onto magazine pages. but the small, quiet pieces of their life togetherâthe bracelet, the scarf, the photos ivory had taken with clumsy fingers, even the ones where her finger blocked half the frame.
the ones that no one else would care about.
the ones that mattered.
a lump formed in her throat, impossible to swallow down.
kuma let out a soft huff, resting his head against her knee. she looked down at him, brushing her fingers over his graying fur.
âshe never really let go, huh?â
the little dog sighed in response, curling closer. ivory sat there, surrounded by pieces of her past, letting the weight of it settle over her like a blanket. and for the first time in a long time, she didnât feel quite so confused.
since sheâd be staying here for a while, ivory decided to walk around and explore her motherâs home. the house felt different when she wandered through itânot foreign, but not quite familiar either. ivory had spent years here in pieces, never long enough to claim it as home, but never distant enough to forget some of its layout.
she moved through the hallways with quiet steps, brushing her fingers over the walls, the faint hum of memories whispering beneath her touch. most of the doors were open, revealing rooms with carefully curated furniture, minimalist but warm. her motherâs taste had always been expensive but never cold.
she hesitated at one door, slightly ajar.
jennieâs office.
pushing it open, she stepped inside, her breath catching for a moment.
it was a space that could belong to no one else.
awards gleamed from polished shelvesâgolden statues, crystal plaques, framed certifications. blackpink albums were lined up neatly, each era immortalized in glossy covers. magazines, stacked and arranged, bore her motherâs face in various phases of her career. some covers were young, fresh-faced, from her early years; others carried the weight of experience, eyes sharper, presence even stronger.
ivory had seen these before, on coffee tables, on billboards, in passing. but here, in this room, they felt different. personal.
she let her gaze drift lower, toward the desk. packages, unopened, sat neatly near the foot of it. but one thing in particular made her pause.
a black-and-white album, familiar in every way.
her chest tightened immediately.
fearless.
lesserafimâs debut album, her own groupâs first album. an ep technically, but they sold like albums. but this specific one sitting in front of her very own eyes wasnât just any regular copy.
this was a signed one.
and the album wasnât just signed by her. it was signed by all of them.
ivory recognized the way the metallic ink layered over the glossy black-and-white cover, the way sakuraâs looping signature sat just above kazuhaâs neat scrawl, how yunjinâs writing curved beside eunchae and chaewonâs. and how her own signature was right in the middle, elegant and simple.
this wasnât a random purchase. this version wasnât even for sale. because this was a fan sign edition.
her brows furrowed as she carefully picked it up, running her thumb along the edge of the plastic. the thought of jennie waiting in line at a fan event, sitting across from her, was almost laughable. that definitely didnât happen.Â
but that only made the question worse; how did she get this?
she gently flipped it over, checking for anything unusual, but there was nothing beyond the standard album. no note, no sign of how it ended up here.
ivoryâs stomach twisted. her mother had done this on purpose. she didnât just buy an album onlineâshe had gone out of her way to get this, knowing exactly how limited it was.
there was only one explanation.
she must have sent someone. a manager, an assistantâsomeone who had gone in her place, sat in front of lesserafim, and handed over the album to be signed by each and every single member.
and yet, her mother had never mentioned it. never brought it up in casual conversation, never let it slip during their rare phone calls.
she had just simply kept it for herself.
ivory exhaled sharply, sinking onto the edge of the desk. her mother wasnât the type to make grand declarations, she never had been. but this? this was something she had never expected to find. and then she heard it.
âwhat are you doing?â
ivory startled, her grip tightening on the album as jennieâs voice cut through the quiet. it wasnât sharp, but it wasnât exactly soft eitherâjust careful, measured. the kind of tone that left no room for misinterpretation.
she turned her head slowly, finding her mother standing in the doorway, one hand still resting on the frame. jennieâs gaze flickered from ivory to the album in her hands, her expression unreadable, but not surprised.
like she had known this moment was inevitable.
for a second, neither of them spoke.
ivoryâs fingers hovered over the albumâs cover, her mind racing through the implications of it all. âyou had this.â the words came out quieter than she intended, but there was something pointed underneath.
jennie didnât immediately respond. her lips parted as if she had something to say, something she had thought about beforeâbut then, she hesitated. just enough for the silence to stretch.
ivory didnât know what answer she was expecting.
an explanation? a reason? maybe even an admission that she had cared, in her own strange, distant way.
jennie exhaled, tilting her head slightly, her expression caught between embarrassment and something elseâsomething closer to pride.
âi did.â
the words were simple, but the way her arms crossed, the way her gaze flickered from ivoryâs hands to the shelf behind her, said more than she probably intended.
ivory studied her carefully, her fingers grazing over the smooth cover of the album. âwhy didnât you tell me?â
jennie let out a soft, almost nervous chuckle, running a hand through her hair. âwhat was i supposed to say? âhey, i sent someone to a fansign so i could get my daughterâs album signed like some overgrown fangirl?ââ she shook her head, pressing her lips together as if the thought alone made her cringe. âi figured youâd just make fun of me.â
ivory blinked in surprise. the idea of her mother, none other than jennie kim, going out of her way to get a signed album, then hiding it away because she was embarrassed? it didnât fit with the image she had built of her over the years.
âyou actually sent someone to a fansign for me?â ivoryâs voice wavered somewhere between disbelief and something warmer, something more fragile. her mother scoffed, looking away like she couldnât believe she was admitting to this.Â
âof course, i did. you think i wouldnât?â she said as nonchalantly as she could. but then, softer, she spoke to add to her previous statement. âyouâre my kid.â
something in ivoryâs chest ached.
it was such a small thing, barely more than a murmur, but it landed heavyâlike a stone dropped into water, sending ripples through everything she had been trying so hard to keep still.
she glanced back down at the album in her hands, suddenly unable to meet her motherâs gaze.Â
youâre my kid.
all this time, she had thought the distance between them was insurmountable, a canyon too wide to cross. but now, holding the proof of this, she wasnât so sure.
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ivory hadnât been to her motherâs house in years. sheâd only been on a few separate occasions, never spending the night or anything. that wasnât allowed after jennie had moved out of jieunâs home. usually when she had to go to her motherâs house it was to pick up something for jieun or vice versa. sometimes her grandmother would leave things by accident, and would go with her to go pick it up after school.
looking back now, jane has reason to believe her grandmother did that on purpose so her mother could see her.
ivoryâs eyes took in the space around her, a quiet sort of awe settling in her chest. the house was elegant but lived-in, warm in a way that surprised her. she had always imagined her motherâs home as something distant and impersonal, a place too pristine to truly belong to her. but standing here now, she realized how wrong she had been.
the scent was the first thing that hit herâa familiar mix of white florals and something undeniably her mother. it tugged at something deep in her memory, something she hadnât let herself feel in years.
jennie walked ahead of her, carrying one of ivoryâs bags effortlessly in one hand. "you hungry? i have that one brand of ramen you used to love." her tone was light, casual, as if this was something they did all the time.
jane hesitated in the doorway, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. âyou remember that?â
her mother glanced back, a small, knowing smile playing on her lips. it was truly a wonderful gift as a mother to remember everything about the carbon copy of herself while watching her grow into someone entirely her own. âof course, i do,â jennie said simply, as if it had never been a question. âyou went through a phase where it was all you wanted to eat. i used to sneak it to you when your grandmother wasnât looking.â
ivory huffed softly at the faintest memory, shaking her head. âshe hated me eating junk food.â
âshe still does.â jennie chuckled, setting the bag down by the stairs before turning to look at her daughter properly. âbut i figured, if youâre staying here, you should at least have something that feels like home.â
the words struck something deep in ivoryâs chest.Â
staying here. home.Â
she swallowed, forcing herself to step further inside, eyes scanning the houseâthe high ceilings, the sleek furniture, the warmth in every carefully curated detail. it didnât look exactly how she remembered it, but it still felt undeniably hers. like somewhere she could belong.
âwhereâs kuma?â ivory asked after she cleared her throat, trying to dispel the notion that this million dollar building was her home. her motherâs lips curled into a small smile at the mention of her beloved dog. âsleeping in my room, probably under the covers like he owns the place,â she said, shaking her head fondly. âheâs gotten lazier with age, but i think heâll be happy to see you.â
ivory nodded, her fingers lightly grazing the edge of the marble countertop as she took in the house once more. it was strangeâso much of it was unfamiliar, yet it still held remnants of something she couldnât quite put into words. something that made her chest ache.
âyou can go wake him up if you want,â jennie offered, watching her carefully. the taller girl hesitated before shaking her head. âno, let him sleep. iâll see him later.â she cleared her throat again, trying to fill the quiet between them.
her mother returned to making the instant ramen, a quiet determination in the way she moved. ivory wasnât sure why she was so focusedâafter all, it was just ramen. but the older woman handled it with the same careful attention she gave to everything else, as if even this small act needed to be done just right.
ivory shifted on her feet, glancing at the counter before hesitantly stepping closer. âdo you, um, need help or something?â her mother glanced up in surprise, as if the offer had caught her off guard. âoh,â she said, then quickly shook her head. âno, itâs fine. itâs just ramen.â
jane awkwardly rested her hands on the counter. âright. just ramen.â silence stretched between them again, not quite heavy but noticeable. ivory watched as her mother poured hot water over the noodles, the steam curling into the air between them. she tapped her fingers against the marble, then, without thinking, reached for the seasoning packets.
jennie noticed but didnât say anything. she just slid one of the bowls toward ivory, a silent invitation.
ivory carefully tore open the packet, shaking in the seasoning. âi think you forgot this.â
a ghost of a smile touched jennieâs lips. âi was getting to it.â
âuh-huh.â ivory stirred the noodles, the simple motion giving her something to focus on. she felt her motherâs eyes on her but didnât look up. "you know, iâve made this for you more times than i can count," her mother mused, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.
ivory glanced up, chopsticks hovering over the steaming bowl. "yeah?"
jennie just hummed, tilting her head slightly. "when you were little, youâd get these random cravings in the middle of the night. and of course, your grandmother didnât want you eating instant ramen at the time, so i had to sneak it to you like it was some kind of contraband."
a small scoff left ivoryâs lips as she twirled her noodles. "that sounds fake, but okay." her mother smirked, shaking her head. "itâs true. youâd shuffle into my room with your blanket wrapped around you and tell me youâre hungry and it would be like 3 in the morning."
ivory tried to suppress the small smile threatening to tug at her lips. "and you actually made it for me?"
"every single time." jennie reached for the pot and immediately blocked her daughter with her arm when she saw her daughter move. "ah, donât touch that. it's hot."
ivory blinked at her slightly confused but deadpan. "mom, iâm eighteen." she said slowly, as if trying to remind the older woman. "and yet," jennie reminded, narrowing her eyes as she dramatically pushed her daughter back a step with her free hand, "you still somehow have the survival instincts of a toddler. just let me do it."
the taller girl groaned, throwing her head back in exasperation. "seriously?" the younger girl shook her head and leaned against the counter off to the side.
jennie ignored her dramatics as she carefully poured the steaming broth into their bowls. "see? if i let you do it, youâd probably burn yourself and then iâd have to explain to the entire world why my fully grown daughter canât be trusted with boiling water."
ivory crossed her arms, unimpressed. "i can be trusted with boiling water." jennie simply shot her a look as she set the pot down. "werenât you the one who grabbed a hot pan straight out of the oven once?"
a faint flush of embarrassment came onto her face but jane just clenched her jaw. she knew better than to argue against her mother with this, especially given her track record. she just huffed quietly and looked away.
her mother gave her a pointed look before sliding one of the bowls toward her. "exactly. now sit down and eat your noodles before you hurt yourself on those too."
ivory rolled her eyes but begrudgingly obeyed, grabbing her chopsticks. "unbelievable," she muttered, stabbing at the noodles but didnât argue further. for a moment, they just simply ate in silence, the warmth of the broth filling the space between them. it was simpleâjust instant ramenâbut somehow, in this quiet moment, it tasted like something more. like her childhood.Â
soft. safe. simple.
then came the subject of sleeping. something ivory hadnât necessarily worried about. from what she remembered, her mother had a guest room or two. she assumed sheâd be staying there for the night, maybe for the next few days. it made sense, at least. the world was up in arms over them both, and she couldnât exactly show her face anywhere for the time being.
âum,â jane cleared her throat as she set her utensils down, glancing at her mother. âcan i shower? iâll have to borrow some of your clothes. i donât know if theyâll fit me though.â
jennie let out a bark of amusement, looking at her daughter in incredulous curiosity. âwhy wouldnât you fit in my clothes?â
the younger girl blinked at her mother, taking in the absurdity of the situation as if it was truly rocket science. "wait, what do you mean, âwhy wouldnât i fit in your clothesâ?" she asked, tilting her head slowly with furrowed brows of confusion. "you're the short one here."
jennie let out a small, disbelieving laugh, her eyes narrowing playfully. "short? youâre literally only like a centimeter taller than me. barely worth mentioning, sweetheart."
ivoryâs jaw dropped open slightly, her cat-like eyes widening in shock. âno. itâs definitely more than that.â the taller girl said flatly. but her mother just raised an eyebrow, straightening her posture and tilting her head slightly to the side just like her daughter had.
âwanna bet?âÂ
the younger girl shook her head in amusement. âcan i shower first and then we can measure it?â jane asked with a huff of indulgence as she moved away from the counter. her mother just chuckled, letting her daughter go. âfine, fine. go shower, baby. but donât take forever. iâve got a tape measure with your name on it.â
ivory shot her a look of feigned annoyance before disappearing down the hallway, and jennie returned to her bowl of ramen, suddenly feeling the weight of the moment. it had been so long since sheâd had her daughter here, let alone like thisâteasing her, laughing, talking like everything was normal.
a quiet thought crept into jennieâs mind. she hadnât realized until this very second just how much sheâd missed the sound of her daughterâs voice in this house. it was small, but it mattered.
she quickly shook off the sentimentality and went to clean up the table. as she put the dishes away, her eyes drifted toward the hall. then she saw those unmistakable eyes turning around to face her again from the hallway. ivory poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue, looking very shy for once.
âi donât remember where anything is.â she said hesitantly, reminding the blackpink idol of just how much time her daughter had spent outside of this place.Â
jennie let out a soft chuckle, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel before stepping toward her daughter. âright. let me show you.â
leading the way down the hall, she pushed open the door to her bedroom and beelined for the closet, sliding it open with practiced ease. inside, perfectly arranged clothes lined the racks, their organization betraying the habits of someone who lived alone and had too much time to curate every inch of her space.
ivory lingered near the doorway, arms loosely crossed, watching as her mother flipped through different sweatshirts with a focused expression, muttering under her breath like this was a high-stakes styling session.
"okay," jennie mused, plucking a hoodie from its hanger and turning, pressing it against her daughter's torso as if measuring it by sight. "this oneâs big enough, i think."
a slow blink. "thatâs a crop top on me."
she frowned, lifting the hem slightly, as if somehow stretching the fabric would change reality. âoh.â tossing it aside without hesitation, she grabbed another and repeated the process. "alright, this one, then."
ivory glanced down, then back up with a deadpan look. "thatâs chanel."
jennie blinked in confusion. "and?"Â
without missing a beat, the younger girl looked at her mother as if sheâd just asked if the sky was blue. "you just asked me if i want to sleep in a chanel hoodie. me, a dior ambassador, in a chanel hoodie."
"would you prefer dior?" her mother asked sarcastically. but once again, ivory didnât even hesitate. âyes actually, i would.â
silence followed. jennie gave a slow blink. then another.
the blackpink idolâs head tilted slightly, as if waiting for the punchline. but ivory just stood there, completely unfazed, holding the chanel hoodie like it personally offended her.
the older woman narrowed her eyes. "youâre joking." her daughter crossed her arms, looking ever so serious for an eighteen year old. "iâm not."
jennie scoffed, placing a hand on her hip. âexcuse me?â
âyou offered.â
âthat was sarcasm.â
âwell,â ivory shrugged, completely deadpan. âmine wasnât.â jennie gasped, clutching the chanel hoodie to her chest as if shielding it from betrayal. âi raised you.â
âand you did a great job,â ivory said smoothly, then nodded toward the closet. ânow, do you have any dior, or should i start making some calls?â
jennie let out a sharp, disbelieving laugh, tossing the hoodie onto her bed before pointing a stern finger at her daughter. "you are not calling dior for pajamas."
jane didnât say anything but she heard her mother rumbling something about âdisrespect in her own homeâ while storming back toward the closet. begrudgingly, she yanked out an oversized sweatshirtâthe most brandless one she could findâand practically threw it at her daughterâs face.
"here. no labels. just fabric. happy now?"
the younger girl caught it with ease, holding it up to inspect it like she was checking for hidden chanel embroidery. with a thoughtful nod, she conceded, "acceptable."
jennie shot her an unimpressed look before spinning back toward the drawers for sweatpants. âunbelievable. my own daughter. a traitor.â she huffed, grabbing a pair and holding them up to her daughter's waist, eyes squinting in assessment. then she shook her head and grabbed another. then another. ivory stood there, arms flopped at her sides, letting her mother go full mom-mode as she sized her up like a store mannequin.
finally, after the fourth switch, jennie shoved a pair into her daughter's arms. "here. they should fit. but if they donât, i donât wanna hear it."
âyou will hear it.â
jennie narrowed her eyes, a response already on the tip of her tongue. âand you will go to bed cold.âÂ
ivory just snorted, already walking towards her motherâs bathroom. "this is why i like dior."
jennie just threw a balled-up sock at her head.
âwhy do you have six different light switches and not one of them is for the actual bathroom?â janeâs voice echoed off the bathroom tiles, followed by a series of random clicks as she desperately tried to figure out which switch did what. the hallway light flicked on, then off. the closet light blinked twice. the fan whirred to life, then immediately stopped.
jennie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. âitâs the second one from the left.â
a pause. more clicking.
âthe other left.â
ivory groaned, but finally, the correct light turned on. "this is a design flaw," she muttered, stepping inside. her mother smirked a little, crossing her arms. âsays the girl who canât even figure out a light switch but somehow thinks sheâs too good for chanel pajamas.â
the sound of running water was the only response she got.
jennie shook her head with a quiet chuckle, turning back toward her own room. she barely had a second of peace before ivoryâs voice rang out again.
âwait, why is your shower so complicated?â
her mother let out an exasperated sigh, already making her way back to the bathroom like she had a toddler instead of an eighteen-year-old. âwhat are you talking about?â
âthere are, like, four knobs in here.â
the older woman rolled her eyes lightly, leaning against the wall with her back while she listened to her daughter on the other side. âthe left one is temperature, the right one is the pressure.â
âthis seems unsafe. and very overcomplicated. is this what you do with your money?âÂ
jennie only smirked a little and pushed off the wall to leave her bedroom. âiâll be downstairs for your official height measuring when youâre done.â she called out before leaving.
ivory finished rinsing off quickly, still grumbling to herself as she fumbled with the knobs again, making sure she wasnât going to drown herself in another surprise burst of cold water. she stayed there for a little while, just allowing herself to exist under the warm water before she began cleaning herself off. with a final sigh of relief, she turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and wrapping herself in one of her motherâs oversized towels. she quickly dressed in the set of clothes her mother had given her, leaving her hair damp but feeling surprisingly refreshed.
she stepped out of the bathroom and toward the stairs when she heard a soft whimper, followed by the familiar sound of paws skittering across the floor.
ivory froze mid-step.
kuma.
she hadnât seen the fluffy dog in ages. the brown pomeranian, now a little sluggish and slower in his movements, was sitting at the top of his motherâs bed.Â
âhi kuma,â jane whispered softly, rubbing his ears and kissing his forehead lightly. he was her dog before he was her motherâs. she stayed there for a few moments, her hand gently resting on kumaâs soft fur as he snuggled into her touch. he tilted his head up toward her, his eyes blinking sleepily, recognizing her scent almost immediatelyâdrenched in the fresh, lingering smell of her motherâs shower products, but still unmistakably her. his tail wagged slowly, a tired but unmistakable recognition flashing through his eyes.
âgood boy,â ivory whispered softly, her voice low and warm as she ran her fingers through his thick, soft fur. she could feel the slight tremor in his old body as he nuzzled into her, seeking comfort. and she couldnât help but smile at the affection in his eyes. she stayed by his side, sitting down gently beside him, leaning her back against the bed. a quiet sigh escaped her lips as she stroked kumaâs fur, and within minutes, the little pomeranianâs eyelids fluttered closed. his breathing slowed, the gentle rise and fall of his chest indicating that he had finally drifted back into sleep. ivory smiled softly, her heart tugging a little.Â
there was something profound about the way kuma trusted her so easily, like no time had passed at all. she always loved that about him.
after a while, the young girl stood up slowly, carefully moving the small dog back down on the bed where he curled up in a tiny, warm ball. she kissed the top of his head one last time before quietly heading downstairs.
when she reached the bottom of the stairs, she hesitated for a moment, unsure if her mother was still in the kitchen. but as she turned the corner into the living room, she found her sitting on the couch on her laptop. jennie looked up as ivory entered, but it was in a way that made the younger girl pause.
for just a second, jennie looked at her daughter with something in her eyes that ivory couldnât quite place. it was an expression that made her chest feel tight, but not in a bad way. jennie didnât say anything at first, but her gaze softened as she took in her daughter standing in the doorway, a faint smile playing at her lips.
and in that moment, it was almost like looking into a mirror.Â
jennie saw the same eyes, the same nose, the same smile that had once been so familiar to her. it was a bit surreal, how much ivory looked like her. but there was something else too, something she hadnât realized until now: how she looked almost nothing like him.Â
almost.
ivory still had his same moles, his same aura of quiet confidence, the kind that settled into a room rather than demanded attention. it was subtle, but jennie saw it now, the faintest remnants of him woven into her daughterâs features like threads sheâd tried so hard to ignore. it was in the way ivory held herself, in the way she tilted her chin ever so slightly when she was thinking, in the way her eyes flickered with a sharpness that felt both foreign and familiar.
jennie hated it.
not because she hated herânever herâbut because it reminded her of a past she had long since buried, one she had clawed her way out of only to be faced with it again in the form of her daughter. a daughter who had grown up without her. a daughter she could never fully claim as just hers, no matter how much she wanted to.
she exhaled, forcing the thoughts away before they could take root.
"you look just like me, you know," jennie murmured, her voice softer than usual, almost like she hadnât meant to say it out loud.
ivory blinked, caught off guard by the comment. she hadnât expected that. it wasnât the first time sheâd heard itâplenty of people had told her before. but somehow, hearing it from her mother, in this quiet moment, felt different.
âiâve been told,â she said after a beat, her tone light, almost indifferent, like she was brushing it off. but the slight twitch in her fingers, the way her gaze flickered down for just a second before meeting jennieâs againâit gave her away. she wasnât brushing it off. she was absorbing it, tucking the words somewhere deep where they wouldnât easily be forgotten.
âcan you measure me now so i can sleep?â the taller girl interrupted quietly, eager to not be stared at like an exhibit. jennie retrieved the tape measure from the counter, her fingers fidgeting with it nervously.Â
wordlessly, jennie stepped closer, the tape measure unspooling in her hands with a faint whisper of fabric against metal. ivory stood still, shoulders slightly tense, as her mother reached up to press the edge of the tape against the top of her head.
"stand straight," jennie murmured, her voice quieter now, more focused.
"i am standing straight," ivory mumbled, though she subtly adjusted her posture, lifting her chin just a little.
jennie smirked, shaking her head, but didnât say anything. instead, she placed a hand lightly on the top of her daughter's head to keep the tape steady. her touch was gentle but firm, like she was grounding ivory in placeânot just physically, but in a way that neither of them could quite name.
for a moment, the only sound was the faint scratch of the measuring tape sliding between jennieâs fingers. ivoryâs eyes darted away, suddenly hyper-aware of how close they were, how her motherâs gaze flickered between the tape and her face, studying her like she was something fragile.
âletâs see,â jennie said aloud, adjusting the tape slightly, before raising her eyebrows. â165 centimeters. so, youâve got a whole two centimeters on me.â
her daughterâs lips twitched in a small, teasing smile. âgood.â her mother stepped back, the tension between them lifting just a little. "youâve grown," she murmured, her voice unexpectedly tender.
ivory didnât respond right away, a slight discomfort settling in her chest. she could feel her motherâs eyes on her, studying her, and it was both too much and not enough. there were so many things she wanted to say, but she wasnât sure how to begin.
all she did know was that she didn't want to deal with it right now.Â
"well, i'm done now. can i go to bed?" ivory decided on, her tone a little more blunt than necessary. jennie smiled softly, though there was a touch of wistfulness in her gaze. "of course.Â
âum,â the younger girl cleared her throat awkwardly. âwhere am i sleeping?âÂ
ever since her mother moved houses, she never thought sheâd have the opportunity to stay over at jennieâs new house. let alone even have a space in it.
ivory had never really thought about it beforeâwhere she would sleep if she ever ended up here. it just never seemed like an option, like something she was supposed to consider. her mother had moved into this house long after they stopped living together, after things had settled into the rhythm of separate lives. and for some reason, ivory had just assumed there wouldnât be a place for her here.
jennieâs expression shifted, something knowing flickering behind her eyes. she stood up from the couch, smoothing down her sweatshirt, and motioned for ivory to follow. âcome on,â she said simply.
ivory hesitated for a second before trailing after her mother through the hallway. the house was quiet, the kind of late-night stillness that made everything feel heavier, like every sound or movement carried more weight.
jennie stopped in front of a door near the end of the hall, resting her hand on the doorknob. for a second, she just looked at it, exhaling softly before turning back to her daughter.
"you'll be in here."
the moment ivory stepped inside, and her breath caught in her throat. the room wasnât just any guest room.Â
it was hers.
she could tell immediately from the color scheme to the little personal touches that screamed familiarity. the bookshelf was stocked with books she had loved as a child, some she had long since forgotten. a plush couch sat by the window, draped with the blanket she used to carry around when she was younger. even the vanity had her favorite candle positioned neatly next to a few boxes of her favorite skincare brands, as if someone had been waiting for her to use them.
slowly, the taller girl turned around to face her mother. âyou kept a room for me?â
jennie leaned against the doorway, her expression unreadable for a second before softening. âalways.â
janeâs throat tightened, a maelstrom of emotions warring inside her. âbut you had that rule,â she whispered, referencing the rule jennie had set when she was youngerâthe rule that said she couldnât stay with her overnight, that she had to return to jieunâs house no matter what.
jennie nodded, stepping closer. âi did. and i hated it every single day. but just because i couldnât have you here physically didnât mean i wasnât hoping for the day youâd walk through that door.â she paused, eyes flickering around the room before settling back on her daughter. âso i kept it ready for you. in case you ever needed to come home.â
home.
it wasnât a word ivory had ever associated with this house. not even once. but now, standing in the doorway of this roomâher roomâshe couldnât deny the way the air shifted around her, settling heavy in her chest, thick with something unspoken.
her fingers curled slightly at her sides, nails pressing into her palms as she took another step into the room. it felt untouched yet lived-in, like time had been waiting for her to fill the space. she traced the edge of the desk, eyes catching on the faint scratches along the woodâmarks left behind by restless hands, old notebooks, or maybe nothing at all. but it felt like hers. it felt kept.
jennie watched her quietly, her presence lingering near the door but not intruding. she had always been like this, even when ivory was littleâclose enough to catch her if she fell but never forcing her to take the step.
ivory turned back, gripping the hem of her sweater between her fingers. âwhy?â her voice wasnât accusatory, just quiet. curious.
her motherâs lips parted slightly before she exhaled, her gaze flickering to the bookshelf, to the neatly folded blanket, to the little things she had never been able to let go of. âbecause you were always supposed to have a place here,â she said finally. âeven when i couldnât have you the way i wanted.â
the admission sat heavy between them, unspoken things threading through the spaces in jennieâs voice.
ivory swallowed, her throat dry. the years between them stretched long, filled with days where she had wondered, did she even want me there? she had told herself she was fine without the answer. she had convinced herself it didnât matter.
but it did.
she shifted, glancing toward the bed. the comforter was tucked in the way she likedâsmooth, precise, but not too stiffâjust the way she used to fix it when she was younger. the pillows were fluffed to the perfect degree of overstuffed, the kind she could sink into after a long day. it was almost unsettling how well her mother had remembered the details, how effortlessly she had preserved something ivory didnât even know still existed.
her gaze flickered toward the couch, where a familiar blanket lay draped over the armrest. the second she picked it up, her fingers brushing against the worn fabric, the scent hit herâsomething warm, something familiar. a mix of faint detergent, a trace of something floral, and a whisper of her past itself. it smelled like childhood. like late nights curled up on the couch, like small hands gripping the edges while she fought off sleep waiting for her mother to come home late at night.
her chest ached. a slow, creeping kind of feeling that settled in her ribs, spreading through her like a quiet realization she wasnât quite ready to name.
jennie must have noticed the shift in her expression because she took a careful step forward, her voice softer than before. âvalentineââ
âiâm tired,â the younger girl murmured, cutting her off. the words werenât sharp, but they left no room for anything more. not tonight.
jennie stilled, eyes lingering on her as if she wanted to say something else. to explain. to reach out. but she didnât. instead, she nodded, stepping back with quiet understanding.
âalright,â she said gently. âget some rest.â
ivory didnât watch her leave, didnât wait for the door to click shut before she sat down on the bed, the blanket still clutched in her hands. the room felt heavyânot suffocating, but full. full of things unsaid, full of time lost and time kept, full of something that made her throat tighten and her fingers grip the fabric just a little harder.
she wasnât sure what to do with all of this; the room, the words, the weight in her chest.
but for the first time in her life, home didnât feel like a foreign concept.
there are many universal things that strike fear into a person. the unknown. the dark. the things that lurk just beyond the reach of reason. but maternal fearâtrue maternal fearâis something else entirely.
it doesnât creep up on someone like ordinary fear. it doesnât prickle at the back of oneâs neck or settle in someoneâs gut like a bad feeling you can shake off. no, maternal fear is an all-consuming thing. it is a force that swallows you whole, claws its way into your ribs, wraps around your lungs like a vice until you forget how to breathe.
it is the fear of losing a child.
and jennie feels it now, more than ever.Â
she feels it more than the cold of the floor as she runs down the staircase of her home, more than the sting of the wind as she throws open the front door. she isnât thinking about grabbing a coat or her keys or even her phone. all that matters is getting to her car, getting to her daughter.
her pulse is a war drum, her heartbeat erratic as she moves on autopilot. fear is not just in her chestâit is in her bones, her bloodstream, her every breath. it is primal. it is instinct. it is the sharp, gut-wrenching kind of terror that unravels a person from the inside out.
jennie doesnât remember getting in the driverâs seat. one moment, sheâs sprinting across the driveway, her vision blurred, her hands trembling. the next, sheâs gripping the steering wheel, slamming her foot on the gas, tearing through the streets as if sheer momentum could erase the distance between them.
the city blurs past her, streetlights and headlights merging into one long, dizzying smear of color. rain smacks against the windshield, but she barely registers it. her fingers are clenched too tightly around the wheel, her breath coming too fast, her mind screaming too loudly.
too late, too late, too late.
she shakes her head. no. she wonât allow it.
sheâs gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turn white, but she doesnât notice. the world outside her car is nothing but streaks of red and white, traffic lights bleeding into one another as she weaves through the roads. she doesnât care about the speed limit. doesnât care about the rain slicking the asphalt or the way her heartbeat pounds like a war drum in her ears.
all she can think about is ivory.
she has lived through many versions of fear before. the fear of failure. the fear of heartbreak. the fear of standing on stage with her voice catching in her throat. but nothingânot a single thingâhas ever come close to this.
because this isnât about her. this isnât about a reputation to protect or an audience to impress.
this is about her daughter.
and when it came to jane, jennie would do anything for her.
so she presses her foot against the gas pedal. tightens her grip. she ignores the way her hands shake, the way her throat burns, the way her mind keeps whispering too late, too late, too late.
she wonât let it be too late. she canât.
because if thereâs one thing stronger than fear, itâs a motherâs love.
the speed limit in the city was a meaningless number on a sign jennie didnât bother to read. it was irrelevantâjust another rule designed for people who werenât mothers racing against time.
her car tore through the streets, tires screeching as she took a turn too fast. the rain made the roads slick, but she didnât slow down. she couldnât.
hotel dandelion was located just outside of the jongno district. a quiet, unassuming place, tucked between neon-lit convenience stores and aging office buildings. it wasnât anywhere near luxury, but it was safeâor as safe as anywhere could be for someone trying to disappear.
ivory had been smart. careful. she hadnât checked in under her own name. it was a cruel twist of irony that made jennieâs stomach turn. it was a silent message. a desperate one.
she swerved into a nearby lot, barely registering the jolt as her tires hit the curb. the engine was still running when she threw open the door before she quickly scrambled to turn it off, stepping out into the downpour. rain soaked through her hoodie in an instant, cold and unrelenting, but she didnât stop. hood up and head down, she moved quickly, her pulse a frantic rhythm beneath her skin.
the lobby was dim, almost sepia-toned, with an old chandelier casting fractured light across the floor. the front desk clerk, a man in his late fifties, glanced up from his screen as she approached. his gaze lingered a second too long, and jennie forced herself to stay calm, to keep her voice even.
âwhat room is ruby jane in?â she asked carefully to be neutral, but her stomach twisted with every syllable, the name like a knife in her chest.
the clerk looked at her, momentarily surprised by the urgency in her tone, but his practiced composure returned quickly. he scanned the computer screen in front of him, his fingers slow and deliberate. the seconds stretched longer than they shouldâve, each one making jennie feel like her skin was too tight, suffocating.
âyouâll need to provide some form of identification, maâam,â he said, his voice level but stiff, as if his mind was already starting to question the situation.
jennieâs breath hitched for a moment. she couldnât use her real name. she couldnât afford to have anyone connect her to this place, to ivory. instead she did something else.Â
jennieâs fingers trembled slightly as she pulled her hood back just enough for the front desk clerk to see her face. his eyes widened immediately, along with his jaw slacking slightly. she didnât need to say anythingâhe knew exactly who she was.
the clerk's expression shifted, no longer rigid but now a little flustered, a bit starstruck, though he kept his professionalism intact. jennie could practically see the wheels turning in his head, the recognition finally hitting full force. jennie kimâthe one and only. except right now she wanted to be nothing else but a mother.
âroom 30,â he said quickly, almost stumbling over the words. he didnât ask for identification. he didnât ask any more questions. he simply handed her the keycard with a nervous smile and a slight bow of his head.
the idol nodded curtly, taking the keycard from him, her pulse barely registering the relief. the weight of the moment still hung on her shoulders. she had no time for niceties or any more distractions. without another word, she turned, making her way through the exit outside, her shoes slapping against the stone floor. the air in the hotel was heavy, but she didnât notice. every step felt like a countdown, each one echoing louder than the last as she hurried toward the elevator.
the doors closed with a soft thud, and she spotted the door outside without hesitation. the stairs creaked beneath her as she ascended, each step taking her closer to the room, but it also felt like it was dragging her further away from the calm she was desperately trying to hold onto. the soft hum of the outdoor lamps flickered in the background, their yellow glow barely cutting through the haze of rain and mist that clung to the air. every sound seemed amplified, each one a harsh reminder of how little time she had.
she took deep breaths, forcing herself to steady her shaking hands, but it didnât help. her pulse was too loud, too frantic, and it was the only thing she could hear. thoughts swirled in her mind like a stormâwhat was she going to say when ivory opened the door? did she want to see her? would this even help?
jennie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to push the panic down. she couldnât think about what-ifs. not now. not when everything depended on her moving forward.
finally, the door to room 30 appeared in front of her. it looked like any other door in the hotelâplain, with the same number stamped into the wood. her fingers hovered over the handle, trembling. and with a motherâs own strength, she slid the keycard into the door's lock, the small click sounding like a gunshot to her ears. the door swung open without resistance, revealing the dim, sparse room. her eyes scanned it quicklyâthe same faded carpet, the single bed with rumpled sheets, and the low light from the bedside lamp casting long shadows along the walls.
and then, there she was. ivory.
the older womanâs breath caught as her daughter stood in the far corner of the room, face half-hidden in the shadows, arms wrapped tightly around herself. she was smaller than jennie remembered, more fragile, but still so much like the girl she had once known.
jennie took a step inside, her shoes squishing softly on the floor, but she didnât approach too quickly. she didnât want to spook her or scare her. ivoryâs face turned fully once her mother shut the door entirely behind her.Â
âvalentine,â her mother whispered, her voice soft and tentative, as if testing the air, afraid of what her daughter might say, afraid of what the silence between them might become. âiâm here. itâs just me. iâm not going anywhere.â
the room felt smaller somehow, the air thick with the weight of everything unspoken. janeâs gaze was still fixed on her, distant yet searching, as if jennie was some stranger standing before her. there was something in the way she held herselfâlike she was afraid to let anyone in, afraid to show any kind of weakness.
jennie swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to stay calm, to keep her voice steady despite the storm of emotions raging inside her. her eyes stayed on her daughter, every inch of her aching to reach out, to wrap her arms around her and hold her close.
but she knew she couldnât. not yet. not until she was sure thatâs what her child needed.
âiâve been looking everywhere for you,â the idol hushed, the words escaping before she could stop them. âiââ she broke off, choking on the rest of the sentence, the weight of all the things she had never said before crashing down on her. âiâve made mistakes. so many of them. but please, donât shut me out.â
ivory didnât move. didnât speak.
jennieâs hands curled into fists at her sides, nails digging into her palms. the silence between them was a sharp, painful thing. and then, out of nowhere, she heard it.
âmom.â
the word cracked through the air, so fragile, so quiet, but it hit jennie like a tidal wave, sweeping her off her feet. for a moment, everything in the room stilled. the noise in her head stopped. she didnât even realize she was holding her breath until she exhaled sharply, the sound jagged.
her heart stumbled in her chest, racing out of control, as tears began to well in her eyes. she could hardly believe it.
mom.
she hadnât heard that word in so longâso long it had begun to feel like a dream. the last time ivory had said it, she was still a little girl, looking up at her with those wide, adoring and innocent eyes. but now it was different. there was so much weight in it, so much history.Â
jennie didnât even notice the tears slipping down her cheeks until they hit her lips, salty and warm. and in that moment, all of the years of hurt, confusion, and separation collapsed in on her. all of the things she had done, or not done, all the mistakes and the silences and the regretsâthey didnât matter anymore.
without even realizing it, jennie moved before she could think otherwise. she surged forward, faster than she could think, desperate to close the space between them. she needed to touch her, needed to feel ivory in her arms like she used to years ago. and then jane was moving tooâlunging toward her, her arms open, as if she couldnât wait another second.
it wasnât gentle. it wasnât graceful. it was raw. it was reckless. jennieâs body slammed against ivoryâs, knocking the breath out of both of them, and they clung to each other like they were drowning in the same sea.
jennie felt her daughterâs arms wrap around her so tight, so fastâdesperate. she was holding on as if she feared her mother would disappear again if she let go. ivoryâs sobs broke through her, tearing at the older womanâs chest, and she pulled her closer, tighter, feeling the heat of her skin, the tremors in her hands as she held onto her daughter.
âmom,â ivory whispered again, like she couldnât say it enough, as if the sound of it in the air was enough to bring them both back to life. jennie buried her face in ivoryâs hair, her hands tangled in her daughterâs clothes, her heart tearing with every muffled sob that echoed in her ears. ivory just shook in her arms, crying into her shoulder, and jennie could feel itâfeel the pain and the absence they had both been carrying for so long, crashing together in a flood of desperate grief.
the years of silence. the years of longing. the broken promises. it was all too much, too overwhelming.
then came the litany of apologies from ivory. the guilt was still fresh in janeâs mind, tearing at her heart and lungs like thorns on a vine. âim sorry,â the younger kim hiccuped out, feeling the weight of each word crash over her like a wave she couldnât escape. âiâm so sorry, mom. for everything. for making you feel like i didnât need you, like i didnât want you.â her voice trembled as she spoke, the guilt and shame she had carried for years spilling out in ragged breaths.Â
jennie immediately just hushed and rocked her daughter gently, doing her best to calm the storm of emotions crashing down around them. her hands, steady and gentle, ran through her hair and smoothing it back as if the simple gesture could somehow erase the years of pain between them. the older woman didnât have any answers, didnât know how to make everything right, but she knew one thing for certain: her daughter was finally here, safe in her arms, and that was all that mattered now.
"shh, itâs okay, baby. itâs okay," the idol whispered, her voice thick with emotion. she felt jane tremble against her, every sob wracking her daughterâs body. her heart broke anew, each sob like a needle pricking her soul. she wanted to take away the hurt, the guilt, the pain her child had carried all this time.Â
but for now, all she could do was hold her, let her cry, and let the years of distance between them fall away, piece by piece.
the sound of ivoryâs sobs filled the room, raw and unrestrained, and jennie held her even tighter, as if she could shield her from the weight of everything she had been through. she didnât need to speak; the silence between them was all-encompassing. it was the kind of silence that spoke volumesâof missed moments, of broken phone calls, of unspoken apologies that hung between them like a thick fog. but now, as the sound of janeâs grief filled the air, her mother understood that those words didnât matter anymore. the past was the past.
jennie kept her voice soft, soothing as her daughter clung to her. "you donât have to say sorry, sweet girl." she murmured, her heart aching as she spoke. ivoryâs hands gripped jennieâs damp hoodie, her fingers digging into the fabric as if she was afraid of losing her again. the sheer desperation in her hold was overwhelming, and her mother wanted nothing more than to shield her from all of it. she could feel the tremors running through ivoryâs body, could hear the ragged breaths she was trying to take between sobs.
"i wasnât good enough for you," jane cried out between gasps, her voice breaking on each syllable. "i wasnât a good daughter. but i was so angry, and i thought if i made the world believe you werenât my mom youâd be better off.â
jennie felt her chest tighten at those words. she could feel the weight of them like a lead ball sinking deep into her heart. but she didnât want to let her daughter spiral further. she didnât want ivory to keep blaming herself for something that was beyond her control. because jennie knew she was responsible, too.
"jane," the idol whispered, pulling her child back just enough to look into her eyes. the sight of her daughter, still so fragile, still so broken, made jennieâs heart ache in ways she couldnât put into words. "you were never a problem. never. you were hurt, and i failed to see that. i failed you, too. i shouldâve never let you feel like you were alone. but i was scared too. i was scared you didnât want me, that i wasnât enough. iâm so sorry for that, valentine. i shouldâve never let you think i wasnât here for you."
ivory wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, her face flushed with the rawness of her emotions. her voice trembled, but she tried to speak, to explain herself, to justify the years of distance. jennie felt a lump form in her throat, and she fought to swallow it down. there was nothing else to say, no other way to make this moment better. all she could do was hold her daughter close and let her feel the warmth of her love. she kissed the top of ivoryâs head, holding her as tightly as she could, never wanting to let go again.
there wasnât any specific amount of time that passed, but it felt like a small eternity. the room was heavy with their shared grief, but it was also filled with the warmth of being together again. eventually, ivoryâs sobs began to subside, her breath evening out as she rested against jennie, no longer crying but still holding onto her tightly, as if afraid to let go.
jennie, still gently rocking her, let the silence settle between them for a moment. she could feel the weight of the moment, but at the same time, she knew that they needed to find a way to breathe again. so, in her usual way, she broke the tension with something light, something to bring them back to the present, to remind them that, despite everything, they could still laugh.
pulling back just a little to look at her daughter, jennie wiped away a stray tear from ivoryâs cheek, her lips curving into a small, teasing smile.
âusing my name to check into a hotel,â jennie said softly, her tone playful despite the emotions still swirling around them, âthatâs...very creative, iâll give you that.â
jane blinked, a hint of confusion still in her eyes. and then, slowly, a small smile formed on her lips. the first real sign of lightness in the air between them. jennieâs heart soared at the action, even if it was just a tiny glimmer of relief in their otherwise tense situation.
âyou know,â jennie added softly as she reached over to the nightstand and handed her daughter a tissue to blow her nose. âi almost named you ruby.âÂ
âthatâs basic.â ivory commented before blowing her runny nose. her mother chuckled at the comment, the sound warm and full of affection. it was such a small moment, but it was everything. the tension in the air seemed to lift just a little, like the first rays of sunlight breaking through the stormy clouds.Â
âbasic?â her mother repeated, raising an eyebrow. âi thought ruby had a nice ring to it, actually. a little vintage, a little timeless. youâd look good with it.â
her daughter shot her a sideways glance, a spark of her usual character returning to her eyes. âyeah, but jane is more unique. itâs original.â
âvalentine, you do realize jane is still part of my name right?â jennie smirked a little. ivory blinked, then let out a soft laugh, realizing the irony. "oh, right. i guess youâre right. jane is technically unique, too. just not in the way i thought." she sniffed, wiping her nose one last time before tossing the tissue aside.
jennieâs smile widened, feeling that small but significant sense of comfort settle between them, the weight of the past slowly starting to lift. âwell, thereâs always a bit of me in you, whether you like it or not,â she teased, giving her daughter a playful nudge.Â
ivory rolled her eyes but didnât fight the smile creeping onto her lips. "i guess thatâs not the worst thing."
jennie smiled softly, pulling her daughter into a tight hug again. this time, there was no hesitation. no distance between them. just the warmth of a motherâs love and the quiet strength of someone who knew theyâd do anything to make things right.
âdon't worry about any of the other messes. iâll take care of everything,â jennie whispered, her voice steady and filled with conviction. there wasnât anything she could do to change the past, but she was determined to make sure their future would be different. now, more than ever, she was going to make sure of that.âi promise.âÂ
and for the first time in a long time, jennie felt like she could keep that promise.
synopsis: ivory's vlog during her mother's first solo coachella performance.
a/n: just a little fun thing i wrote for ivory :) enjoy
BEFORE THE FLIGHT
the video opens in low, amber-toned lightingâclearly still dark outside. the frame is shaky, like it was grabbed in a hurry, and when it finally stills, it focuses on ivory, curled up in bed. her blanket is slipping off one shoulder, her hair a little mussed, eyes barely open. she blinks at the camera, squinting against the glow of the screen.
her voice is thick with sleep, low and mumbly. âitâs 4:37 in the morning,â she whispers, then flips the camera around to show her digital clock glowing on the nightstand in bold red numbers.
thereâs a pause before she speaks again, the lens now pointed at the ceiling. âshe said weâre leaving at ten,â ivory mutters. âand do you know what time she told me to be at her house?â
another beat of silence. then the camera flips back to her face. her expression is completely deadpan, eyes blank as she slowly drags a hand down her cheek in disbelief.
âsix,â she says. then adds, in a monotone: âsheâs not okay in the head.â
the video cuts in mid-slideâivory gliding dramatically across the sleek hardwood floors of her motherâs foyer in fuzzy black socks, arms stretched out like a ballerina. the camera is angled downward, catching the satisfying sound as her socks skim the floor.
from somewhere off-camera, jennieâs voice rings out, sharp and very motherly.
âbaby, stop sliding.â
ivory freezes mid-glide, one foot slightly lifted, her phone pointed toward the ceiling like sheâs been caught in the middle of a crime.
âyouâre gonna fall and break something,â jennie adds from the other room, tone casual but clearly not up for debate.
âiâm literally a trained dancer,â ivory says, panning the camera to her face, which is trying very hard not to laugh. âthis is my art form. itâs called coachella floor choreo.â
âdo that at coachella then, not in my house,â jennie calls back.
âso youâre sayingâŠi am performing.â
âstop sliding.â
another cutâivory tiptoeing down the hallway now, whispering dramatically into the camera. âshe thinks iâm done. but iâm not done.â she pans to her socked feet again, crouches slightly, and then launches into a full-blown run-slide across the kitchen floor.
you can hear jennie sigh so hard it echoes.
âjane ivory!â
the video shakes as ivory bursts into laughter.
FLIGHT/POST FLIGHT
the video picks up mid-whisper, the camera pointed sneakily across the aisle. ivory zooms in on alison, whoâs lounging in her first class cubicle with an eye mask pushed up on her head and a bag of haribo gummies in hand.
"alison, please," ivory begs, her voice laced with quiet desperation. "please, please, please."
alison grins and holds up the gummies like sheâs dangling treasure. ivory lets out a dramatic gasp behind the camera, as if sheâs been offered gold.
âmom told me i can't have any sugar until we land,â ivory murmurs, reaching forward from her seat like sheâs in a wildlife documentary. âthe contraband is now crossing the aisleââ
before her fingers can reach the bag, a soft thwack lands on her arm. the camera jolts as she squeals, catching a flash of a plush travel pillow being wielded like a weapon.
"valentine." jennie's voice is flat but so mother-coded. âwhat did i say about sugar?â the camera spins around to catch jennie leaning over from her cubicle, still in her cozy flight fit, looking unimpressed as she holds the pillow mid-air, clearly ready to strike again.
ivory shrinks into her seat dramatically. âhow did you even see that?â jennie just taps her temples, a knowing expression on her face. âeyes everywhere.â
âokay freak,â ivory mutters, shoving the gummies into her hoodie like a raccoon hoarding food. âyouâre supposed to be relaxing, not sniping me from seat 2A.â
alisonâs trying not to laugh, covering her mouth with the bag as jennie gives her the youâre not helping look. ivory aims the camera at her again. âyou saw her give it to me, right? this is entrapment.â
âyouâre banned from the snacks until we land,â jennie says, settling back into her seat, still side-eyeing her daughter. âiâm literally an adult,â ivory protests, half-heartedly, mouth already full of one of the stolen gummies.
jennie doesnât even look up as ivory shifts the camera back down to her gummies. but the idolâs voice is crystal clear before the video cuts again.
âyouâre literally on my flight.â
the video cuts in with a gust of wind, the sound sharp and loud in the mic as the camera sways. theyâre officially off the plane, walking down the stairs onto the tarmac, the sky bright and cloudless above lax. black-on-black suvs line up ahead like secret service and team members are already splitting off into groups, everyone looking important and exhausted.
ivory, meanwhile, is in full gremlin mode. the camera flips to her faceâher hair windswept, sunglasses slightly crooked, lip gloss somehow still intact. âwe have arrived,â she narrates. âhello, los angeles. iâm officially just emotional support now.â
she spins the camera toward her mom walking a few paces ahead, hood still up, sipping the same iced coffee like it never ended. ivory catches up in a little half-run, and her voice comes through loud and exaggerated.
âmommy, can i hold your hand?â
jennie, without missing a step, side-eyes her daughter. âarenât you eighteen?â
âso?â ivory doesnât even blink. she slides her hand into her momâs like itâs a red carpet moment, and immediately starts swinging their arms. jennie tries to resist it at first. and fails. âyouâre gonna pull my shoulder out.â
âyou donât need it,â ivory chirps. âyou have stage presence.â
the camera briefly captures a member of jennieâs team turning around to hide their laugh, then cuts again. now theyâre in the suv. itâs quiet, cool, the leather seats pristine. jennieâs settling in, reaching for her phone, when ivory suddenly gasps like there's a spider.
âum your seatbelt.â ivory's tone is dire. her camera is pointed dramatically at her mother, who freezes like sheâs being scolded by tsa. âoh my god,â the idol mutters, laughing under her breath as she clicks it on. ivory nods solemnly from the passenger seat. âcanât lose you before weekend one. i have merch to buy.â
âyouâre not getting any merch,â jennie warns, pulling out her phone. the younger girl, still filming, turns to the camera and whispers, âsheâs lying. i will be getting merch.
COACHELLA DAY 1
the scene opens with alison's camera facing ivory, whoâs practically vibrating with excitement. the music is blasting, the crowd is going wild, and she is clearly having funâexcept for the fact that she keeps glancing at her mother, whoâs standing and watching the stage with an intensity only a perfectionist could have. jennieâs arms are crossed, her face calm and analytical.
ivory holds up the camera to the manager, whispering dramatically, âcan you believe this? itâs friday. not even the day she performs yet. and she is already acting like sheâs about to go on stage! look at her.â she zooms in on the blackpink idol, whoâs standing perfectly still, practically in full âmonitoringâ mode and completely unfazed by the crowdâs energy.
the younger girl sighs exaggeratedly, throwing her hands up. âthis is supposed to be fun! people are dancing, and sheâs out here thinking about random things when she doesnât even go on until sunday!â
alison, barely holding back laughter, continues to record as ivory stands there, biting her lip in frustration. she pans back to jennie, whoâs still completely engrossed in her phone, completely ignoring the chaos around her. âmom! MOM!â ivory shouts, but her mother doesnât budge.
ivory gives the camera a look of complete exasperation, shock on her feline features. âsheâs literally not even enjoying the festival, guys. what is wrong with her?â she spins the camera back to alison with an exaggerated shrug. âlike, i get it, sheâs a perfectionist, but this is coachella. there are dancing people over there, and my mom is analyzing things.â ivory shakes her head, her frustration mounting.
just as jennie looks up from her phone, ivory leaps in front of the camera, dramatically shaking her. âmom, you have to dance with me! itâs coachella!â she whines, trying to pull jennie away from her âwork zone.â
the older woman, looking mildly annoyed but not phased at all, raised an eyebrow at her daughter. âbaby, this is important. you donât get it.â
ivory rolls her eyes and points to herself like sheâs about to go on a whole tangent. âyouâre too busy to have fun. well, this is supposed to be about fun, too. not just boring business.â
alison snickers quietly behind the camera as ivory turns it back on her face, dramatically shaking her head again. âmom, iâm telling you. you canât just keep working when youâre literally at coachella. just...dance with me!â she pleads, and finally jennie looks up, slightly amused.
âno,â jennie deadpans, âiâll dance when i feel like it.â ivory lets out an exaggerated gasp, her face in disbelief. âshe wonât even dance with me!â she says to alison, wide-eyed in shock and almost mortification. âthis is abuse.â
alison tries to keep it together as she zooms in on the younger womanâs face, and ivory dramatically flips her hair back. âi am officially traumatized by the lack of fun at this festival.â with that, ivory turns and runs off toward the crowd, yelling back to jennie, âiâm going to have fun whether you like it or not!â
alison, still filming, lets out a wheeze. jennie stands there for a moment, shaking her head with a half-smile, and mutters, âsheâs dramatic.âÂ
the last clip in the segment is a short shot of ivory and rosie jumping up and down together in the distance during lisaâs set, with the two absolutely shaking the life out of each other as they have fun.Â
PRE-PERFORMANCE
jennieâs in full glam now, standing in front of the mirror in her performance fit, looking like sheâs ready for her set. her game face is onâcalm, focused, commanding. meanwhile, her daughter is lounging on the couch behind her, sipping from a juice box like the worldâs most unserious hypewoman.
trying to act casual, ivory throws out, âi'm excited for seoul city.â the younger woman is unable to fight the sneaky grin off her face from her own humor.
jennie freezes mid-hair-fluff. she turns around slowly, blinking at her daughter like she just confessed to a felony. "seoul city?" she asks in utter disbelief, not even looking at ivoryâs phone camera but straight at her daughter. jennie then quickly narrows her eyes. âyouâre messing with me.â
ivory shrugs innocently, sipping louder. âi mean it is a good song. i think a lot of people already like it, but theyâll like it more with your choreography.â
alisonâseated nearby and going over last-minute run-throughsâstarts wheezing. jennie looks at her, stone-faced. âcover her ears during seoul city. and her eyes. matter of fact, just get her out of the venue.â
ivory lets out the loudest laugh yet, nearly choking on her juice as the camera shakes from the force of her laughter. âiâll sing every lyricââ
âstop.â jennie shrieks in embarrassment and grabs a throw pillow and hurls it directly at her daughterâs face. ivory, now dramatically sprawled across the couch like sheâs been wounded, is laughing so hard sheâs crying. she points her phone camera at her mother who is rubbing her temples in exasperation, while alison and ivory herself are still laughing. âthis is so embarrassing for you.â
the next clip is a quick cut of the sun starting to dip below the desert skyline, casting golden rays across the coachella grounds. the cameraâs shaking a bit as it follows ivory weaving her way through the backstage barriers, giggling and ignoring the fifteen texts her mother has probably sent her telling her to stay in the artist section.
ivory, naturally, is already pushing through toward the barricade of general admission. she flips the camera around to selfie-mode, beaming. âhi everyone!â she says into the lens, waving wildly. and then it's instant chaos.
phones are out in seconds, fans scream her name, and someone quite literally throws a capybara plush at her. ivory shrieks when it hits her shoulder, picks it up, holds it like simba, and dies laughing. Â âwhy do you guys always have these?â she yells over the crowd, holding up the capybara like a trophy.
someone hands her a handwritten note. another offers her a phone for a selfie. one girl starts crying. thereâs glitter everywhere. ivory, both flattered and slightly overwhelmed, clutches the plushie to her chest and keeps yelling over the barrier, âokay but i literally have to go before my mom kills me!â
she turns to the camera again. âiâm not supposed to be here. she said to âstay with alison.â that was the rule.â she holds the capybara up, showing the camera all its angles. âbut would alison have given me this?? exactly.â
she blows one last kiss to the fans and sprints back toward the vip gate, screaming âbyeâ like sheâs just committed a crime.
PERFORMANCE/POST PERFORMANCE
the screen opens to a wide shot of the coachella main stage glowing in deep violet and gold, the crowd pulsing with energy as the beat of jennieâs set kicks off. quick cuts followâgrainy, sparkly clips filmed on a phone from the vip area.
it shifts to ivory panning the camera to the sea of fans behind her, showing glowing lightsticks, flags and a few stuffed animals. she zooms in on one capybara plush someone is holding above their head. âits so cute,â she wheezes, voice half-lost to the music.
the final clip is during the second verse of starlight. the camera stays on ivory, still dancing but suddenly very focused as sheâs jumping around. itâs her favorite songâsheâs grinning, mouthing along, ready for that line.
âso many after hoursâŠâ
ivory beams, mouthing the wordsâ
âi just wanna make my mama prouderââ
but on stage, jennie sings:
âi just wanna make my daughter prouderââ
ivory freezes. the scream she lets out is immediate and primal. âWHATââ
âMOMMYYY!â is the last thing heard, the camera shaking violently as ivory screams her lungs out at her mother on stage before the scene cuts into the next clip.Â
the next clip fades in with a shaky but clear shotâcourtesy of alisonâof jennie and ivory on a golf cart, slowly being driven through the backstage lot under soft festival lights. the sky is dark now, the stars barely peeking through the haze of stage smoke and camera flashes.
jennieâs still in full glam, mic pack wires tucked away, hair a little wind-blown, her stage outfit covered with a cozy jacket tossed over her shoulders. sheâs clearly tiredâbut glowing. thereâs something serene and proud in her eyes, even as she leans back on the cartâs seat.
ivory, however, is fully curled into her motherâs side like a sleepy koala.
sheâs practically glued to her momâs torso, legs draped over jennieâs lap and arms wrapped tightly around her middle, face hidden against her shoulder. jennie rests her chin on the top of ivoryâs head, gently rubbing her daughterâs back as the cart hums along.
alison, seated opposite them, is clearly trying not to laugh as she records. âivory,â she says, teasing. âyou good? or are we still crying?â
ivory doesnât lift her head. her voice is muffled but still sharp nonetheless. âdonât talk to me.â
jennie snorts, squeezing her daughter softly as the wind whips around them. âsheâs been like this since i got off stage.â
âsheâs like, part of you now,â alison laughs. âshe might actually be fused to your ribcage.â
âi am,â ivory mumbles, still not looking up. âweâre one organism now.â
jennie grins and looks into the camera. âsheâs mad i didnât tell her about the lyric change.â
ivory finally peeks up, red-eyed and dramatic. âi wasnât prepared for that!â alison laughs so hard the camera shakes. jennie kisses ivoryâs forehead, cradling her like sheâs five again. âokay, okay. next time, iâll give you a heads-up. deal?â
ivory just tightens her grip again and hides her face again before speaking. âdeal,â she mumbles. âbut iâm still crying. and donât do that next week, grandmaâs coming. you have to keep the original lyrics for her.â
the cart bumps along in the background, the sounds of the festival fading behind them as the clip ends on jennie brushing her daughterâs hair gently with her fingers, looking down at her with all the pride in the world.