#perfect isolation

I'll be honest.

I do miss it.

I miss all of it.

Good,

bad,

indifferent.

I miss someone worrying where I was.

I miss talking about my day.

I miss the little quiet moments.

I miss everything.

I fucked it up.

Burned every bridge.

Crushed every relationship.

The hate for myself,

I hold in my heart,

could fill mountains.

Hiding it all.

Behind the jokes.

The booze.

The smile.

The bike.

And general recklessness.

Truly have nothing to lose.

Lost my last shot at a good life.

At this point,

pushing it,

to see how far down the rabbit hole,

I can tumble.

Wish time could reverse.

See things,

with the eyes I have now.

But,

life's not that easy.

Accept the choices.

Live day to day.

Wall myself off.