#perdevmidpt

LEAD AND FOLLOW

“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A leader can be defined in many ways, yet true leadership is beyond mere definition. A leader for me is someone who is the foundation of your team, the one who motivates you to do your job well. A considerate person who understands the lapses but points it out in order for you to know where you overlooked something. Great leader creates more leaders, not followers. If you don’t have that many followers because you are not that popular, it’s okay. Leadership is not defined by how many followers you have, because I know that deep in my heart that quality is greater than quantity. You don’t have to find that many followers, you just need a few right ones who will be there for you.

What Makes a Good Leader

1. Takes responsibility.      - A good is someone who is not afraid to take responsibility. 

2. Serves wholeheartedly      - A good leader works genuinely and not just for show. You prioritize your follower’s welfare more than what makes you happy

3. Open to suggestions      - Sometimes you are followed because they admire your ideas, but it doesn’t mean that you will neglect their ideas, tell them that you are open to suggestions because their suggestions may give you more idea and can change the current situation.

4. Creates more leaders      - A good leader is someone who inspires and motivates other to become a leader themselves. They are willing to share their best advice on how to be a great leader through their actions, and ideas.

A follower is someone who follows the person they admire, the one who changed their lives due to their ideas and shine can. A follower even apply it for themselves in order to lead others, and that’s the purpose of our leaders to create more leaders by inspiring followers to become leaders themselves because I believe that each and everyone of us are natural leaders though we still have to go through the process of being a clueless follower that is then molded by other people whom we followed. 

What makes a Good Follower

1. Suggests Ideas       - A good follower is willing to give ideas in order to help the team, because giving ideas is very important in order for the group to know your opinions that can be later used for your works.

2. Willing to work with the team       - A good follower collaborate with the team, doing what should be done and offer help to those who are in need.

3. Aware        - A good follower should be aware of their surrounding. Being observant is a very important aspect in our daily routine.

Emotional Management

               There are a lot of ways to handle one’s emotions, however not all of these ways are effective to all (or everyone) of us. Because each of these techniques’ effectiveness may vary on the given situation and how a certain person perceives each way. For me, these are the ways which are effective when I am handling with my own emotions.

1.       Try understanding yourself.

-          Because who else will, right? Firstly if you don’t recognize what you’re feeling then you will not be able to share it with other people who may understand you and can possibly help you. It is a great way in order for us to release the burden in our chest. It is also a great way to connect with other people who understand.

2.       Keep your cool

-          It is the best way in dealing with your emotion because how on earth are you going to solve what you are feeling if you don’t know how to calm yourself down. Instead of solving it, it may worsen the current situation since you are not able to completely control yourself. There are also tendencies that you make foolish decisions because you are swallowed by your own emotion. There’s also a saying that “don’t make any decision when you are angry or too happy because you’ll eventually regret it after” because I believe that when you are on top of your emotion, you don’t thoroughly think about your decisions anymore, you only tend to utter the words without proper comprehension. Whoa

3.       Talk to someone.

-          This way can be extremely difficult to do because you are not sure if you are to be judged by the person you are opening up. You really have to talk to the right person or else you will feel worse than before, because sometimes they can utter words that are extremely insensitive at some point. If you are able to find that one person, treasure them and never take them for granted.

AGAPE LOVE.

My first love and forever love. He’s the one that let me enter this world and blessed me with a family whom I love. His love for me is eternal and cannot measured. He loved me for who I am and what I’ve done to fail Him but He accepted me with all of my sins and flaws. He is enough for me. His love is all I need. He scarified His own son for me to be sin-free but all i did was to be a stubborn kid. Yet, He still love me. I won’t ever replace anything for His love. His love endures forever and shall do I. 

The Genogram

Dear Kuya Jaja,                

               I honestly don’t know what I am going to do with myself. I was once a hyper and motivated kid, I procrastinate less and every work that I do feels like I am not working, because I am enjoying it. Today, it seems like I am not interested in doing serious works anymore, I procrastinate a lot and it is seriously affecting me, it stresses me out. Yes, I sometimes say that “I work best under pressure” but I know that I can’t do it again and again forever, I need to be responsible, but my motivation is not that high that gives me boost of energy that will help me do my work and be able to cope up with this sad reality. There are also nights that I question myself, “am I really enough?” because it feels like everything that I do is not enough and it needs improvement, I will never be as confident as I am before. I also feel like that everything that I do has no value and is not that important. I really don’t know what to do and how on earth am I going to get through this when I can’t control my mind from thinking this kind of stuff? How am I going to do this when the people around me is also a part(or an influence) of why I am like this right now. But I guess it’s just normal “not to be sad” in this adolescent, right? Because that’s how everybody thinks nowadays. If there’s anything that I can do to solve this torture, please tell me how. Thank you, Kuya jaja.

Sincerely, SJ

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Dearest SJ, 

                People tell you not to be sad because there are also other people who are suffering worse than you and they are not even sad right? That’s foolishness my dear! Because that’s the most inconsiderate thing that I have ever heard. Telling people not to be sad because that’s normal and everybody else has deeper problem than you have. It’s like you are so insensitive to how that person feels, honestly when you tell that to a certain person, you are lowering their self esteem. 

You need to be re-focus your priorities since procrastination and losing your motivation is when you get your priorities mixed up. Perhaps, maybe you always had your motivation, but you haven't payed attention to it that much that causes you to think that way. I'm not blaming you nor pin the blame on you, you just have to go back to square one, and re-asses and evaluate yourself again, ask these questions: "when did it start?" It's not too late to change the ways that you have right now, instead this is the turning point. Never lose hope SJ, remember it's a long road ahead, but it's better when you're together with people that motivates you, there maybe people who keeps on bringing you down but don't mind them. Instead, prove it to the people that have trusted you  since day 1, instead of those people who haven't. Don't be too hard on yourself, do it step by step, dear. Most people have failed on an epic scale, but they reached a goal that they have least expected. These are the people who wanted to reach out their message, that the pain and suffering that you are experiencing right now is nothing compared to the success that you'll have if you just learn to accept your vulnerabilities rather than ignoring it. Accept it, and you may be able to know yourself more and deal with it more accordingly.