#pensulliwen

The dreams carried on for months. Every night, the girl would wake from slumber, surrounded by darkness, drenched in salty sweat. Her heart raced in her chest, and whenever she closed her eyes, she would see the traces of the shadowy monsters behind her eyelids, gray silhouettes haunting her. 

She couldn’t focus on her work, and her contact with the outside world slipped as her obsession with the dreams grew more and more consuming. She lived in this state for half a year.

Then, one night, she dreamt of chains. Long, rusty gray chains hung from the empty sky, moving back and forth, blown by a breeze that she could not feel on her own skin. Countless, heavy chains, brushing lightly against the bones on the ground. 

She could not see where the chains began, somewhere far above her, behind the clouds. She could only see where the chains ended, centimeters above the dusty ground. She awoke from that dream in the usual way, soaked in sweat. 

Later that same day, when she closed her eyes against the harsh brightness of the morning sun, she saw the chains again, hanging from a gray sky. 

~

She dreamt of the chains again, although they were accompanied by something new this time. A large, shadowy sphere floated amongst the chains. Wisps of black smoke surrounded the sphere, reminding the girl of hair. 

(She knew men with black hair like that - a bunch of detectives. One of them was dead.)

As usual, the girl woke up from the nightmare with sticky sweat glistening on her damp forehead. Her clothes clung to her small frame in a way that made her uncomfortable. Tacky, she thought to herself. Wet. She pulled back the covers of her bed, threw her legs over the side, and stood up to go to the bathroom. The girl needed a shower.

Water poured over her head, turning her light blond hair dark with heavy wetness. She thought of those men, as water ran in rivulets down her body. Flashes of dark hair and tired eyes and suits with ties crossed through her frazzled mind. Images of pale skin and thin hands dipped into a bag of sweets, pulling out cookies and candy and cakes. 

Those same hands flashed again, wrapped around a yellow banana with some soft green around the edges, plucking at a bright red strawberry, red like blood. The water had gone cold.

She stepped out of the shower, dried her damp hair with a fluffy white towel, and went back to bed. She did not dream again for the rest of the night.

~

The girl fell asleep clutching a photograph to her chest. It was a small slip of glossy paper, printed many years ago. One side of the paper was pure white and shiny, the other side contained the smiling faces of two young people. As the girl drifted off to sleep, her heart beat against the photo on her chest.

She opened her eyes to shades of grim gray. The dark sphere was there again, hanging in the sky, suspended by rusty chains. Cold mist brushed against her bare arms, and the tiny hairs rose, goosebumps raised on pale flesh. The sphere pulsed repeatedly, sending vibrations through the air. Her knees were shaking. She closed her eyes, then opened them again.

Her vision was still filled with gray, and the ominous sphere still hung above her, menacing. She clenched her fists, and heard the sound of paper crumpling. Heart racing, she glanced down at her left hand and saw the photograph still clutched in her fist. She gasped in surprise. Her gaze dragged slowly, from the tiny slip of smooth paper, to the dark circle in the sky.

Something inside of her, a deep voice that was not her own, told her to beg. 

“Please,” she said, falling to her knees. Her pale skin scraped against the rocky ground, tearing slightly. Twin blossoms of pain bloomed across her knees, but she ignored them. “Please, bring Light back to me.”

The ball of darkness lowered, approaching her spot on the ground. It sat there for minutes on end, the silence growing and stretching, until the girl ran out of patience. 

“Why won’t you do it?!” She asked, her voice raising with emotion as the darkness stared back at her, silent and powerful. “That’s not fair!”

A vibration pulsed again, louder and more forceful than the others had been, and knocked her backwards. 

The mysterious voice spoke again, from somewhere deep inside the girl, and yet all around her at the same time. Let him rest, the voice boomed. Let him rest, Misa Amane.

Powerful winds slammed into her small frame, throwing her backwards, tossing and turning in the air. Her heart beat loudly and quickly in her chest, threatening to explode. Blond hair whipped around her head. Her dinner from the previous night threatened to come back up and pay her another visit. She closed her eyes, shielding them from the wind.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in her own bed. The air was still and warm. Fluffy blankets covered her body. Her hair was straight and neatly parted, just as she had arranged it before climbing into bed the previous evening. She reached for the small photograph. It was gone. Her bed felt oddly empty, but she was surely home and safe, for now. 

“No,” she breathed, fists gripping at the sheets under her warm body, pulling upwards, hands looking to tear, to break something. Her whole body was shaking. “No, I won’t.”

~

The next night, she saw the dark sphere again. This time, she brought an offering.

“Please,” she said, holding out her offering. A bright red apple, sitting in a pair of small, pale hands. “Accept my gift.”

You think I should reward this shameful display, Misa Amane? The voice boomed.

Tears formed in her eyes, and overflowed, spilling down pretty cheeks. The salty liquid rolled down her face, leaving a wet streak behind, then fell quietly onto her chest. She ignored the sensation.

She raised her offering higher, above her head. With her arms reaching towards the heavens, she continued to beg. “Please,” she repeated. “Give my Light back to me.”

Once again, the wind picked up, tossing her around like a doll. She woke up, a new plan already forming in her pretty little head. 

~

Next time, she was prepared, with a lighter and a can of hairspray. 

“Give my Light back to me, you monster,” she demanded. She held up the hot pink can, aiming it squarely at the dark sphere. Then, she lifted the silver lighter in front of the can, and flicked the lighter on, so a tiny flame sparked to life in her hand. “Give him back to me! Give him back!”

For minutes upon minutes, she waited for an answer. The dark god of death remained silent. Finally, she had enough, and her anger and sadness and impatience exploded out of her in a fit of fury.

With a gut-wrenching scream, she pressed the button down on the can, and a stream of hot fire exploded outwards, towards the dark entity in the sky. Flames licked upwards, grazing against the surface of the sphere. Orange and white fire mingled with the black wisps of smoke emanating from the dark circle. 

Eventually, the fire died out. Her screams stopped. She lowered her arms. There was complete silence, save for the girl’s heavy breathing.

For a minute, the girl stared up at the god of death, catching her breath. When she started to breathe normally again, a sob escaped from her lips, piercing the peace and quiet.

As the girl sobbed, the sphere floated downwards. It grew smaller and smaller as it approached her. When it was right in front of her, it stopped, hovering just before her, level with her beating heart. She stared at it for a moment, waiting with sharp anticipation for the god of death’s next move.

With stunning speed, the sphere flew towards her. The ball of darkness slammed into her chest, knocking her backwards. She was falling. Her arms flew upwards, dropping the lighter and the can. She reached out towards the gray clouds in the sky, as her fingers searched for something solid and steady to hold. There was nothing.

She closed her eyes, bracing for the impact with the rocky ground. Her whole body tensed. 

The impact never came. She was still falling; she could feel the cool air rushing past her. She felt her stomach turn and the bile rise in her throat at the sensation of free-falling through the air. Her muscles relaxed, as she expected to open her eyes and find herself in her own bed once again, as this was all simply a bad dream.

Her eyes flew open, and a scream escaped her when she realized that she was not in her own bed, not at all. She was falling through an endless gray void, hurtling at high speed towards a pool of black water, floating among the miles and miles of gray.

SPLASH!

She gasped as her frail body was sucked into the icy cold depths. The water entered her lungs, choking her, and she began to lose awareness. Her eyes fluttered shut.

I pitied you, at first, the voice boomed in her head. But it is clear now - you are selfish. Arrogant.

“No!” The girl cried, but no sound came out. She tried to move her limbs, but they were slow, weak, submerged in the dark water. She whined in frustration. 

I have made you immortal, Misa Amane. You cannot die. You cannot be with your beloved Light.

She yelled furiously, and cursed the god of death. “Stop!” She screamed, and once again, the sound was swallowed up by the endless darkness. Her lips moved, but no noise could be heard.

Learn the importance of life and death. Only then, may you rest.

Finally, she gathered enough strength to lift one of her arms. She raised it up, above her body, and closed her fingers around something warm and solid. She pulled herself out of the nightmare, and into the soft comfort of her bed.

The girl woke up with a jolt, shooting upwards, sitting up and clinging to herself. “Immortal?” She breathed out, catching her breath. 

Once her heart stopped racing and her breathing slowed to a normal rate, the girl lay back on her fluffy white pillow. Her blond hair spread around her head like a halo. She stared up at the blank ceiling, which was darkened because it was still the middle of the night. 

“Immortal,” she muttered softly to herself, as she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

When the sun rose the next morning, a bright ball of light peeking out from behind the green leaves on the trees outside, the girl blinked open her eyes. She felt energized and refreshed, more than she had felt in a long, long time. She hopped out of bed, and immediately ran to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, and to test a certain theory.