#penis talk

@smubbles-etc

Chapters: 1/1     Words: 900 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Borch Three Jackdaws | Villentretenmerth, Véa (The Witcher), Téa (The Witcher), Yarpen Zigrin Additional Tags: Smubbles, dragon, directly after season 1 episode 8, Humour, penis talk

So happy you’re doing these, I think I did this right lol 

Gif submitted by @death2thevirgin

Euphemisms

“Why you always do stuff like that?” Still panting from the fighting scene you just filmed you ask, Jared. Hands on your hips, looking up at him.

“I want to turn you on.” He jokes and getting closer to you, crotch first.

You scoff. “You know that’s why they don’t give you real blades anymore, right?”

“Don’t care.” He shrugs. “I have a real blade.” Still wiggling his lower body he holds you by the side. 

“Oh, you do?” You voice, hand on his chest. 

“Uh-huh. And it’s all for you...” Jockingly he points the drop-point, sawn knife to your face. “Think you can handle it, Y/N.”

You keep his gaze as your hands take a hold of his wirst and lower the nike to your mouth. Your tongue darts out and you lick the blade from hadle to tip. 

Adam’s apple bobbles and Jared drops his hand from you to adjust himself inside his pants. “Break is over. Everyone to your place. We’re taking from the top.” Bob shouts and you chuckle.

well if one penis were to try to put a lightbulb in it would be incapable of doing so as the tension on the twisting and the holding of the lightbulb would be practically impossible

Two penises is better but i think it would be awkward for two people to be holding a lightbulb with their dicks

So three penises would be ideal as three people holding a lightbulb with their dicks is more of a group activity and socially that is less awkward than two people doing something uncommon with their penises

Rasputin’s dick was 13 inches