Beginning of the End
Day in and day out, he would see them coming in, dressed in their off-brown suits, making notes on their clipboards... staring. He wished he could hear what they were saying through the orange goop he floated in, what remarks they were making about his person. He couldnât tell if they were sharing compliments or disparaging comments, their expressions remaining placid throughout their conversations. They would give him one long look before moving on to the next one, where theyâd start the process over again. That gave him time to think, to plan. He wanted out of this place. He wanted out of this nutritional syrup they kept him in. He wanted to see what he was truly made for. It was heaven the day they finally took him out of that tank, when he took his first breath of real air. He vomited up the contents of his lungs and stomach, more of that orange crap, and the cool rush of fresh oxygen made him regret not breaking out sooner. To feel the air on his skin, to hear real sounds for the first time, unmuffled by the contents of his vat... It was almost too much to take in, abrasive against his senses to the point of covering his ears and shutting his eyes to prevent an overload. One at a time, slowly, he weaned himself into their world. There would be so much to explore! At least, those were his plans. They had others in store for him, others that came quite naturally once they slapped a gun into his hands. He remembered it all, all the training theyâd pumped into his brain: details, missions, events that heâd never personally experienced. It seemed fun at first... then it became quickly monotonous. They wanted to see how much of it stuck. How much of a good little soldier he could be. It was enough at first, playing along to make them happy, watching as they checkmarked every box as he passed test after test. But he quickly found that none of that made him happy. Their approval wasnât what he sought, not what he wanted to live for. He wanted so much more than all of this. He didnât know how to cope with the disappointment that filled his breast or how to even put it into words. All of his âbrothersâ seemed fine with their circumstances, content to keep toeing the line. Was there something wrong with him? And it was that doubt that brought the first dreams. Or nightmares, more accurately. The first of many, he would have considered it a boon given his lack of such in his vat days. A boon that would have given him something to speak about with his peers, to question whether they had them too, had the imagery not been so terrifying. A curse of the mind, a dredging up and manifesting of his innermost thoughts, playing out behind his eyes where he couldnât escape. A glass case. Darkness. He could hear the beating of his heart in his chest. A steady thumping that heâd listened to for days and months and years until his emergence day. The thumping grew louder, gathered speed, surrounded him until he discovered that the sound wasnât his heart at all. Disembodied white hands slapped against the sides of his glass case all around him, dragging down the surfaces in long, agonizing squeals. More and more hands appeared, covering every inch. So many hands. Why wouldnât they go away? What did they want? He shrunk within himself and covered his ears, hoping that they would go away on their own. Hoping that if he wished it hard enough and long enough, someone would listen to his pleas and make it all stop. But it only grew louder, reverberated within his chest, rattled his ribs and shook his teeth in their very gums. The sound pounded in his head until there was nothing left but the noise, until it felt like the sound was going to crumble him apart. The glass splintered and broke; he was no longer safe. The hands grabbed for every inch of him, every limb, and pulled and groped and yanked until every nerve ached for release. This was the world they were throwing him into, a world that needed him more than he needed it. A world that would use him and tear him apart... and simply replace him with another when he was mere sinew on the ground. Whiskey sat up in a cold sweat, the thin sheets sticking to his skin and increasing his discomfort. His breathing was ragged and the ache of the nightmare still dwelled in his chest. The others were sound asleep - bless them - all on their backs, lying in their prescriptive rows of cots. Not a single one different from the other, a copy of a copy of a copy... Was this what his life was supposed to be like? He shivered as he recalled the sensation of those hands all over his body, touching his skin, pulling at every fibre of his being. It made him sick to his stomach. He threw off the sheets and hurried to the communal showers, turning the water to the coldest setting. Anything to be rid of the memory of those... I canât live like this... Claws scraped down the tiles as he allowed the shivers to take over his body, allowed it to wash the images from his mind. He felt his heart slow, goose flesh pricking his skin, his mind clearing... A hand touched his shoulder. He whirled around and grabbed the nightmare by the throat. Golden yellow eyes, widened in fear and staring back at him, blinked slowly. Whiskey had his neck pinned to the back of the stall, his claws threatening to tear his throat out. It was his bunkmate, a âbrotherâ whose cot was next to his. âYou should be asleep,â he croaked, his hands wrapping around Whiskeyâs wrist to encourage the loosening of his grip. âThis is beyond protocol.â â... fuck the protocol,â he blurted out, surprised by his exclamation. âWh-... what?â âYou heard me.â He looked around the rest of the room to see if anyone else is listening in. âWeâre not living like this anymore.â













