#peequal

Name: The Peequal.

Age: Brand new.

Appearance: Enigmatic, possibly Lottery-funded playground apparatus.

Is that what it is? Actually, it’s a toilet.

Huh. Does the world really need more toilets? Yes, it does – specifically, more women’s toilets. Research shows that in the UK women spend 34 times longer queueing for public loos than men do.

Isn’t that just because they get chatting in there? No, it isn’t. Have you ever seen the inside of a women’s loo?

Only in films. Everyone is always crying. The reason the queues are longer is because there are, on average, 10 male urinals for every ladies’ toilet.

Well, that doesn’t seem fair. The designers Amber Probyn and Hazel McShane agree. The recent University of Bristol graduates spent their summers working at music festivals and saw a problem that needed to be fixed. The Peequal was their solution.

What’s so great about this new loo? Its innovative wedge design means six women can pee at once, in a big circle. In other configurations, it can hold eight or more.

Will that cut down on all the queueing? It should do. McShane and Probyn reckon it’s six times quicker to use than a conventional portable loo.

And there’s an actual toilet in that tiny space? It’s a “hands-free” arrangement that the designers call a pedestal. “It’s designed like a boat to minimise splashback,” says McShane, “and also to have a little place for your clothing in front.”

But it’s private, at least. It’s private from the waist down. And definitely more private than having to go in a bush. Your top half is still visible above the partition.

Interesting. Does the whole thing also spin round like a carousel? If you’ve had enough to drink, quite possibly.

Sounds like the Peequal might take some getting used to. Maybe, but it’s still a vast improvement on what’s presently on offer. “After a few bevs, and after you’ve waited in the queue for about 15 minutes already, this option suddenly becomes much more appealing,” says Probyn.

Are the modules difficult to put up and take down? No, they come flatpacked. And they’re made from 100% recycled material.

Fantastic. How soon will they start appearing? They already have – a prototype Peequal was installed at the Bristol Comedy Garden last week.

Was it a success? I’m just trying to think how you’d measure that.

Do say: “Fight for your right to women’s peequality!”

Don’t say: “I guess I joined the wrong queue by mistake. Anyway, I’m sorry about your bouncy castle.”