#pdimming

Rifling through her own clothes trunk was an odd, almost miserable experience. Everything was nice enough in quality, but so much of it was so…scandalous. Yes, there were pretty, proper sweaters and pants and the like, but other things were so short at the hemline, or took such a dip towards the bust, that Thalia really was blushing red. 'Are these things really mine?' she wondered, shaking her head and sighing worriedly. But even as she thought this, something nagged at her. Memories tugged forward, faint, faded, but still there. Intimate moments with many, being close, being loose, being whatever the hell she wanted to be and being loved for it.

Thalia nearly gasped. She fell back onto her bed, clutching her head, eyes wide. She was two in one, and it was tearing her mind apart already. But after a minute, the memories settled, and Thalia could breathe again. She blinked and fell back on her back, staring up at the ceiling above. 'My name is Thalia Carmichael. I am a 7th year Hufflepuff. Thalia Carmichael, who can turn into a digiscoping warbler, a little bird, and who likes…who…likes… What do I like?' This revelation, the fact that she could not remember almost anything about herself, about who she was, was so much more than startling. Thalia very nearly whimpered, and tears of frightened despair began to well up in her eyes. 'I recognize myself, but I don't know about myself! How is this possible? How did this happen? How is this even possible?!' She sobbed, turning over and stifling the noise in her soft grey cover.

She began to think furiously, trying to recover some facts about herself. She remembered her parents and their faces, their name, she remembered them entirely. It brought a small measure of comfort, and one that was bolstered by the memory of her friends. However, thinking of her friends brought up more memories of that strange, sensual sort, so Thalia was forced to quickly block them out. When that storm had passed, she hesitantly began to review her friends, what she knew of them. Any memories that surfaced were growing fainter and fainter, dimmer by the second. Slowly, it was getting easier to think about them. Now, as Thalia still thought of the very idea of such loose morals, such an open body, she found herself horrified. Her morals now were stronger than ever, and the last thing Thalia felt that she would ever do was to make love to any person at all. After all, she was in no long-term relationship, though she seemed to have had one with a boy named Parker Dale, a Ravenclaw.

Thalia sat up, wiping away any tears that remained. She stood and meandered over to the clothes trunk, rummaging through it and looking for something nice and proper to wear. When she was changed out of her robes and into these nice, modest clothes, Thalia left her dorm. She remembered her schedule and her teachers, and knew that there were no classes to be had at the moment- not for about two and a half hours. So, she tentatively left her room, walking out into the hall, wondering who she might see and what they might trigger. But she encountered no one, and found herself outside of the dormitories and into the common room in no time at all. Thalia did not linger here, however, as she saw a few people that brought fresher memories to her mind, ones that she had to reject if she were to hold on to her very personality, her morals, herself.

So, she went out into the hall, breathing quickly and shakily, trying to abandon the memories and thoughts that simply could not be her own. Even as she thought, Thalia came to her senses, realizing who she was entirely, though it seemed to chafe bit, as if it weren't entirely her own. But she shook away such thought. They were preposterous, impossible, and she refused to let them poison her mind. Thalia walked away, with no real direction, only wanting to find something or someone that could help her. Preferably a teacher, but if it was a student or, even better, an old friend, then that might as well be good enough for her. So with quick, light steps, Thalia traversed the castle. But everyone seemed to be in class, or busy doing something else. No one could - or would - help her. And so it was that with growing distress and frustration that Thalia smacked into another student - the one time she hadn't been looking for one, she had found one. Thalia looked up, her eyes were apologetic and almost scared in their upset for a moment, before surprise bloomed there instead. Tilting her head, she asked the simple, but confused, question that explained her surprise.