It’s always so loud in his dreams, and maybe that’s why Cas has trouble sleeping. At night, the bunker is pitch-black and completely silent, and while he’s exhausted every morning, at least he’s not haunted by endless visions of that which came before.
He wishes this was easier.
The adjustment to being human has been like trying to claw his way out of a pit. It wasn’t enough to find out that they managed to save the world, after all, no more apocalypses and no more uncaring God, and it wasn’t enough to find himself awake in the Empty, rough hands he knew well wrapped around his wrists, pulling him to some semblance of safety. He’s not sure what will be enough.
Right now, as he lies in bed, he contemplates his newfound humanity and freedom, and as he does, he notices small sounds in the silence. Most notable is Dean breathing beside him, fast asleep with his face mashed into his pillow. Dean still sleeps like the dead, still gets grumpy when you wake him up. Now, after a tear-stained welcome back, Cas is privy to those habits, among others. And there are other things, besides the man beside him, that Cas is privy to now. Everything is sharper, deeper, and it’s an adjustment, and it’s not easy, but it has to be worth it.
Slowly, the quiet, punctuated by Dean’s breath, lulls Cas back to sleep, and for once, he doesn’t dream at all.