#pattern behavior

Description: Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!) SH/JW

Review: Sherlock's POV, jealous Sherlock. Not much of a fan of the first person narrative but I liked how Sherlock was pretty in character. Not very memorable but a good read.

Rating: Explicit

Reminder that Pattern Behavior is available for pre-order TODAY, and that it is suitable for all body types. 

I know it’s been a minute, but I’ve been busy. 

This beautiful baby gets borned on October 3, 2017, courtesy of Running Press and the McCall Pattern Company. 

HALLELU

Are you a woman? Are you dead inside? Try Silly Hats . . .

Just recently, I was forced to accept that one of the people I considered "like a sister" to me was someone I never really knew {despite having known her for nearly 40 years}.

The hints of this "friend's" true, mean-spirited colors were always there; I just chose to ignore them or brush them off as the standard "juvenile" mindset. We've all been in relationships with people whose questionable behavior make us raise an eyebrow until it's forgotten...until we reference it again for very good reason.

It only takes one issue for us to look more closely at the historical events over the course of a long-term friendship. In my case, it was a difference of opinion over politics and this "friend's" decision to cease communication, as a result of those differences. I accepted that those differences permanently {negatively} affected our friendship; what I didn't like was the way she handled the whole situation. Instead of messaging me directly to explain how she felt, she chose a more passive-agressive means of "communicating" via posts and articles shared on her Facebook timeline. Her posts consisted of abuse-laden diatribes while she blatantly ignored my attempts to discuss things in private. Additionally, she would warmly engage with everyone on Facebook...except me.

In retrospect, I started remembering things that happened when we were in high school. I thought about the year-long'ish feud we had through most of our Senior year. As I got older, I learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they conduct themselves in a long-term feud. My mother taught me to always act with dignity and grace, regardless of how others treat me and I've always strived to apply that to all of my relationships. During the feud with this friend in high school, I simply left her alone and respected her need for space. I didn't try to make eye contact across a classroom so that I could give her death stares. I didn't badmouth her to other people. I knew it was best to get on with my school work and avoid her whenever I needed to. She, on the other hand, didn't share the same philosophy. She was what I now call a "prickly pear"; she exuded the anger she felt toward me. Whatever she could do to display her anger, she did ~ turned her back on me when passing me, dagger stares, and she even did the ol' "head scratch with the middle finger" thing to subtly flip me off. She didn't have to say anything to let me know how she felt. I could feel the extreme venom within her, just by looking at her.

In the years since, we had a few ups and downs, but I genuinely believed that we were over all the high school pettiness. We got along fairly well, for the most part, but I now realize that it was because I kept my mouth shut about my beliefs. She was okay with me, as long as I agreed with her and, when I recently admitted my difference of opinion, I realized I was having a flashback to the feud in high school. That same "prickly pear" was back, only with way more bitterness.

I admit that, despite how she treated me, I still had trouble with letting her go due to the longevity of the friendship. There were things I felt sentimental about. We grew up together. We did support each other through rough times. We knew each other's innermost secrets, and our families even got to know each other over the years. We shared a lot of things. That being said, the longevity of such a friendship doesn't give either party a license to be abusive or nasty. Although I couldn't remember what life was like without her in it, I also couldn't see a way forward. She'd said too many hurtful things against my character {despite having known me for so long} and not just out of anger either ~ she truly believes what she has said about me. My point is, as much as we don't want to, we sometimes have to accept that certain people no longer have a place in our world, particularly if their goal has become to abuse us or cause us pain for whatever reason. Nobody ever wants to end a friendship, even if it becomes toxic, but our well-being must come above all else.

We must always consider the historical aspects of any friendship. Pattern behavior must be taken seriously because it will continue to happen for as long as we allow. Pay close attention during arguments because how people conduct themselves when angry is indicative of who they really are. Some people hide their "fugly" behind a mask but, sooner or later, that mask slips. I think of it as a test of boundaries. We can call someone out all we want, but if we continuously allow them to overstep those boundaries, that mask will slip off further and more frequently to reveal more {and perhaps more extreme} "fugly".

I can tell you right now...NO relationship is worth that.