#paternal

الطفل يولد ضعيفًا، هشّ العظام، قليل الحيلة. حماية الأب هنا ليست مجرد عضلات أو ظلّ، بل هي درع يعلّم الطفل أن يقف بثبات، وأن يشعر بالأمان حتى وهو ضعيف.

وهذا ينعكس على الولد فيكبر وهو أكثر جرأة في الحركة، يثق بجسده، ويجرؤ على التجربة لأنه يعرف أن هناك من يحميه ويعلّمه كيف يستخدم قوته.

وجود الأب يزرع في قلب الطفل يقينًا بأن هناك من يسانده بلا شروط. هذا الشعور يولّد الثقة، ويمنح الطفل القدرة على مواجهة الحياة بجرأة، لأن خلفه رجلًا يقف كجدار صلب.

وهذا ينعكس على الولد فيصبح أكثر قدرة على بناء علاقات صحية، ويقلّ خوفه من الوحدة أو الخيانة لأنه نشأ على معنى الحب غير المشروط.

الأب هو أول نموذج للسلطة والقدوة. حين يحمي، يعلّم أن القوة ليست قسوة، بل مسؤولية. الطفل يتعلم أن الرجولة ليست في الصوت العالي، بل في اليد التي تُمسك لتمنع السقوط.

وهذا ينعكس على الولد فيترسّخ فيه مفهوم الرجولة الناضجة، فيكبر وهو قادر على ضبط نفسه واحترام الآخرين، ويصبح أكثر اتزانًا نفسيًا وأقدر على مواجهة الضغوط.

حماية الأب تُشعر الطفل أن العالم ليس غابة بلا قانون، بل مكان فيه معنى، فيه سند، فيه دفء. هي حماية تتجاوز الجسد لتصل إلى الروح، فتغرس في داخله إحساسًا بالانتماء والطمأنينة.

وهذا ينعكس على الولد فيكبر وهو يشعر أن للحياة معنى، وأنه ليس وحيدًا في مواجهة المجهول، فيصبح أكثر إيمانًا بنفسه وبقيمه، وأكثر قدرة على مواجهة الأزمات بروح مطمئنة.

For some

It is comforting 

Thinking of God in the role

As Father

But if your earthly father

Was less than ideal 

It can be scary

It doesn't have to be

For our Heavenly Father 

Is full of compassionate love

Grace and Mercy 

Forgiveness 

No matter what you father was/ is like

Your Heavenly Father can always be

Her bed was made, her suitcase was in the closet and she was starting to get hungry. She takes a deep breath and walks out to the kitchen like Spencer requested. He was standing at his counter with his laptop open. Laruen assumed it was for work. She approached quietly hoping he wouldn't notice her right away. His hands worked their way through his messy hair, seemingly stressed. Before Lauren could back away back to her room he looked up.

“Y-you hungry? What would you want for dinner? Your pick” he stood up straighter and closed his laptop. Lauren did not attempt to speak, she seemed hesitant. He tapped his fingers on the counter, not impatiently, but like he was trying to fill the space to allow her time to decide. She simply shrugged to which he sighed.

“Oookay well there's a good chinese place down the road, we could order in…or if you want we could go somewhere there's a nice cafe a block away. They have really good sandwiches and based on the cleaners I've seen they're at least twice as clean as-” he stops himself. Looking to Lauren to decide. She focuses her gaze down and scoots the bottom of her foot against the tile.

“Chinese sounds good.” At the sound of her voice he smiled and nodded, opening his laptop again.

“Alright! Yeah -yeah. Do you know what you want? I personally really like their fried rice but-” he cut himself off and looked slightly apologetic at his own rambling. He pulled out an old folded menu from one of his kitchen draws and slid it across the table.

“Take your time” he awkwardly smiled. She scanned over the menu with some struggle. She did not let him into the fact that she's never had Chinese food before. He noticed her struggle and pointed to a spot on the menu.

“Do you like chicken? Th-they have really good orange chicken.” he looked to her for a reaction that she did not give. She shrugged, worried she was taking too long to decide.

“What are you getting?” she asked in a quiet mumble. Spencer raised his eyebrows, surprised at the unfamiliar sound of her voice, and pointed to two separate spots on the menu. He was getting an eggroll and shrimp fried rice. Lauren looked undecidedly at the menu, seemingly a little bummed that she didn’t know anything about the food she was looking at. She played it off, not in a hurry to ask Spencer any questions. Spencer noticed her slightly nervous on edge demeanor and frowned slightly.

“You're free to sit on the couch and wait o-or in your room you don't have to wait for me…feel free to loom around if you want,” he smiled slightly as he got out his phone to dial the number to the restaurant. Lauren felt weird about going to the living room, so she quietly made her way back to her bedroom. After thirty minutes of solitude, she heard Spencer call her name from the other room. She made her way down the short hallway, and a savoury smell filled her nose. Her stomach rumbled, she hadn’t eaten in a few days. She made it to the kitchen and saw Spencer standing by the counter, emptying two bags of food. He smiled as he looked up to her.

“I got a few extra things, you seemed a little hesitant, so I figured a little buffet never hurt anyone.” he got two plates down from the cupboard. He handed one to Lauren.

“Take what you want,” he smiled and stood back, giving her space to grab food. Spencer loads up his plate, hungry after a long day of stressing himself to death about Laurens' arrival. Lauren, on the other hand, stood there, her lanky figure appearing smaller than she typically is. She looks cautious as she grabs food from the table. She takes the tiniest bit of every dish and stands off to the side, not wanting to impose by walking anywhere in Spencer's home. He goes to walk to the couch and turns to look at Lauren. Upon noticing she isn't following him he stops and tries to hide his frown. He stops where he is and motions for her to follow him.

“Feel free to join me, you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable,” he rushed to add the last bit, afraid that it would sound like a demand. She looked at the floor before slowly making her way over. She sat on the floor cross-legged in front of the couch, not wanting to risk getting anything on the cushions. He didn't push any further and figured that if she felt better on the ground, then that's good enough for him, as long as she was comfortable. Reid reached for the TV remote, which he hardly himself uses, and looked to Lauren.

“Do you want to watch anything? I'm open to whatever.” Lauren shrugged, unsure. The only TV show she could think of was The Price is Right. She had overheard it from the other room one night when Sheila was watching it.

“The price is right…” she quietly responded, on edge, eyes focused on her plate. He quickly searched the cable menu to see if it was showing. It wasn’t, but he found a family feud.

“Is this ok?” he asked, genuinely asking for her input. She nodded and continued to eat food she'd never had before. Three episodes have passed, and both Spencer and Lauren have finished eating. They had fallen into a comfortable silence, Lauren felt full for the first time in weeks. She had always felt like she was imposing on her foster family if she wanted seconds. Something about Spencer made her feel like she was genuinely welcomed in his home. She refused to get her hopes up all the same. Spencer looked away from the screen and saw Laurens' plate empty.

“Are you finished? There’s plenty up there,” she shook her head no at the offer of more food. Snecer smiled at her and took her plate from her. While at the sink, Spencer checked the time on the microwave. The time read 9 pm.

Authors: Dr. Tina Montreuil, Dr. Larissa Rossen, Maria Salaria, Brenna Whalley, Fatima Mazhar, Eliana Zhao, Sukhman Gosal, and Mona Lee on behalf of the Perinatal Mental Health Working Group | Editors: Romina Garcia de leon, Janielle Richards (Blog Coordinators) | Expert Reviewer: Olajumoke Ojeleye, PhD, RN Published: July 25, 2025  Dad Matters Too With Father’s Day behind us, it’s time to…