#pat-man

It was a hot summer day at high school. The bell just rang, and people are scattered around the school grounds, busy with their laptops and smartphones.

Tricia was idly sitting by her desk in the classroom, slouching and trying to sleep. She didn’t like free time—she likes to go home, sure, but not free time at school. There’s just no point of having them.

“Trish!” She opened her eyes and looked at the girl calling her by the oh-so-despicable nickname.  “Trish isn’t available. Please leave a message after the sound,” she beeped, mimicking her old phone at home. “Come on, Trish.” “Trish isn’t available. Would you like to speak to Tricia?” “Fine, Tricia, just hear me for a minute.” She rose up and turned to face Emily, possibly the only person she trusts in the whole school. “This has to be important, Em, or I’m going to smack you.” “It is!” Emily’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Have you heard the latest gossip?” “What gossip?” “The Pat-Man!” “Huh? What’s that?” “You’re so behind in all this!” Emily shrieked, her body unable to stand still.  Tricia sighed. “Just keep me out of this, okay? I’m not into that stuff.” “Come on, Tricia!” Tricia slouched back on her desk. “Well, I’m going to tell you whether you like it or not, so here goes…” Emily continued. “So there’s this new bot in Twitter, it’s so cute! It goes by the nickname Pat-Man! It…”

Tricia absent-mindedly nodded at every question Emily asked of her, just begging that it’s over soon. 

“…and of course it already has like a thousand followers! There’s like this rumor too, like a huge one! You ready for this?”  She nodded for what she felt like the millionth time, not really caring what Emily has to say next. “Pat-Man is a guy! It’s not a bot! There’s a hot admin behind Pat-Man!” Emily almost yelled. People were starting to stare at them. “Em, keep it down!” Tricia shushed her. “Fine, there’s a hot guy disguising himself as a bot on Twitter. Big news.” “I know right?” Emily continued, completely unaware of the slightest hint of sarcasm. “I’m so going to find out who the guy is. They say he’s from this school, you know? I better ask everyone I know. Oh, you don’t suppose it’s Jason, do you? I mean he’s hot and all, but he’s…”

Tricia covered her ears again. What did I do last night to deserve this?

----

She was on her way back home when her smartphone bleeped. Tricia gave it a quick glance.

Emily Watkins @em_rules @tricia_tricia TRISH YOU HAVE TO TRY PATMAN OUTTTTT RIGHT @patman? 2 minutes ago

“Really, Em? Mentioning me and that silly bot?” she asked out loud. However, at the time, curiosity got the better out of her. She decided to play a bit with Emily’s theory. If what Em said was true, then at least ‘Pat-Man’ should be capable of separating tweets. Tricia finally gave in to the temptation and decided to just tweet something random.

Tricia M @tricia_tricia If only I had someone to talk to, for real. 5 seconds ago

She waited for a while but nothing happened, so she just scrolled the timeline randomly without giving it another thought. But after five minutes, she snapped out of her daydreaming and saw that she had a response.

PAT_MAN @patman PAT-MAN COMES TO THE RESCUE! #patpat RT @tricia_tricia: If only I had someone to talk to, for real. 3 minutes ago

Tricia smiled. Only a second later, she felt stupid. Why did she smile because of a random pat on the head by a freaking bot? She decided to try this out even further.

Tricia M @tricia_tricia Wow, @patman mentioned me! Will you mention me again? Please? It’ll definitely make me feel better. 1 minute ago

She read and re-read the tweet she just posted, but she couldn’t help feeling pathetic. All for the sake of the experiment, Tricia. She waited for another response, but no matter how long she waited, no reply ever came from Pat-Man. This only proved Emily’s point… perhaps there is someone behind this account. 

She scrutinized the account further. Well, there’s a picture of the word #PAT! as the profile picture. The bio only states ‘PATMAN COMES TO THE RESCUE! #patpat’ and nothing else. The location was her city. Maybe that’s what caused Em to think whoever this person is at our school. Tricia saw nothing strange with the account, but there was this e-mail address right next to the location. She shrugged it off and decided to probably ask Emily tomorrow morning.

The morning came, and as usual Tricia found herself slumped on her desk. “Trish, are you trying to be that girl from The Hunchback of Notre Dame?” “Tricia,” she corrected her. “Nope, not interested in being a gypsy.” “I was talking about the hunchback, Tricia.” “Come on,” Tricia rose up, slightly offended. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.” “Tricia, everyone else is busy chatting and planning for the school holiday and all you’re doing is…” Emily shuddered a bit, “…slouching.” “I have my own way of doing things, alright? Lay off my back.” “But…” “I said quit it!” she yelled. “Fine!” Emily screeched in reply. “I was just trying to be nice, but this is what I get! Do what you want!” she stormed outside the classroom.

Tricia sighed, secretly wishing that she hasn’t said that. Emily was just trying to get her involved, to make her feel less bored… and now thanks to that little snap she doesn’t know whether Emily will talk to her again for the rest of the day. She also completely forgot to ask her about Pat-Man’s e-mail address. She felt stupid. 

Finally the bell rang and she went home. She said nothing to anyone, not even Einstein. Tricia quietly went to her room and slept until the night came.

Tricia opened her eyes. She glanced at the digital clock on her desk. 10:35 PM. She slowly rose up and approached her laptop, opening her e-mail.

Dear Pat-Man,

Tricia slowly typed those words, getting more and more skeptical about whether she should do it with every word that appeared on the screen. Then again, she didn’t feel like there’s any harm in trying, so she carried on nonetheless.

Dear Pat-Man,

Uh, hello. I don’t know if there’s any point in sending an e-mail to a bot on Twitter, but I guess if the rumors are true and you’re really a person, it should be worth the try. 

My name’s Tricia, by the way.

So, I guess there’s no harm in telling you things. Today, I had some sort of a fight with my friend, let’s call her Em. Em was trying to get me excited about the summer holiday coming up next month, but I just don’t feel like doing anything. I mean, I’m comfortable with just staying at home. Sure, Mom and Dad don’t stay at home a lot, but I get to be free and do a lot of stuff by myself. Plus, there’s Einstein, too—he’s my dog. He’s kind of slow for a dog but I tell all my stories to him. I’m okay like this, I think.

Anyway, my point is that I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, but I want her to talk to me again. What do you think I should do? Regards, Tricia

She re-read her e-mail and thought that it’s coherent enough to get her message across, if Pat-Man is ever going to reply, that is. She sent it to his e-mail address listed on the bio, and then decided to just go to sleep.

----

Tricia was staring into thin air, daydreaming. “Tricia?” “Eh?” “Tricia, are you alright?” asked Mr. James, her math teacher. “You don’t look well. Do you need some time in the clinic?” “No, it’s okay…” Tricia sighed. “I just didn’t sleep right last night, sir.” “Well if you need a timeout, tell me, alright?” “Sure thing, sir.”

She excused herself to go to the toilet and washed her face. Her teacher was right, she didn’t look okay. She noticed the black circles under her eyes and thought that perhaps she might take him on his offer after all. Tricia went to the school clinic and laid down on one of the empty beds. She took out her phone and realized there’s an unread mail in her inbox.

It was from Pat-Man.

“No way…” she said to herself. She rose up and opened the mail.

Dear Tricia,

Well, it looks like your try was worth the time, wasn’t it? 

Hi, I’m Pat-Man. Of course it’s not my real name, but let’s just say that for security and other complicated reasons you’ll have to call me that. Your life seems very interesting, Tricia. I wonder how Einstein looked like—I assume it’s like a giant ball of fur, considering how Einstein really is in real life. I also would love to see this friend of yours you call Emily. I’m thinking of a colorful character, though… *chuckle*

To answer your question, I think that the way to resolve conflicts is to take the initiative, Tricia. Sure, now you think you’re not in the wrong, but if you really cared about her, you have to let go of your pride. Sometimes it’s not about who is in the wrong, Tricia—it’s about who values the friendship the most. Do you value her as a friend? If you do, then go and get her. It’s okay to say sorry, even if you don’t think you’re wrong. After all, there has to be a certain reason why you two fought, right? If you fought, then perhaps either intentionally or unintentionally you did something wrong. Be humble, Tricia, and you’ll be fine—heck, not only will you be fine, you’ll be a better person.

So, I hope that answers your question. Pat-Man will always come to the rescue! *pats you on the head* Regards, Pat-Man

“Wow… just… wow…” she couldn’t quite believe her eyes. 

Not only did Pat-Man reply her e-mail, he went straight to the problem and actually offered a solution that she admits to be right. She wanted to tell Emily that she actually got a reply from her idol, but I remembered that it’s still awkward between them. She decided to just reply the mail, at the same time pouring all the worries in her mind. For some strange reason, she felt like she could trust him with her problems… that maybe Pat-Man would be the one to listen and give some refreshing thoughts instead of judging her like everyone else.

She gently tapped her phone, slowly composing a reply for him.

Dear Pat-Man,

You have no idea how surprised I am that you’d actually reply me! If I tell this to Em, she’ll freak out in a way that would probably match my reaction if free time in school is no longer applied. Then again, even if what you told me is true, I still find it hard to make peace with her. I mean, sure, I know what to do now, but it’s not like things will be any easier once I knew, you know?

You know, Pat-Man… I have like a million things to tell you. I don’t know why, but I just feel like telling you things. I hope you’re okay with that. 

Everyone thinks of me like I’m some sort of an anti-social freak, and I’m beginning to think that they might be right. I don’t know, but I don’t have any problems with that. All my life, I’ve never really felt like it was such a big issue, being a loner. I mean it’s not like I’m feeling lonely or anything… 

Reply soon, okay? Regards, Tricia

She sent the mail, secretly thinking how over the top her last line was. She never felt that needy before, that insecure, yet at the same time feeling the comfort of having someone to confide things in. She decided to sleep away all the thoughts racing in her head. 

Thirty minutes later, Tricia woke up, feeling slightly more refreshed. She decided to check up her phone, hoping that a reply would’ve found its way to her mailbox. She felt kind of silly expecting a reply so soon, but she couldn’t help but to give it a quick glance.

A new mail is in there and, once again, it’s from Pat-Man.

Dear Tricia,

I guess everyone would be surprised if what they thought is some random bot on Twitter suddenly reply e-mails, don’t you think? *chuckle*

You know what? I don’t mind. You can tell me anything you want. Of course this will sound eerily suspicious coming from someone you don’t even know, so you’d probably better off not telling me where you live, your phone number, or perhaps any information about credit cards (yeah, right). Jokes aside, I’m fine with listening, Tricia. It’s a pleasure.

Tricia, are you familiar with the concept of ‘comfort zone’? We all have that. We all have our own comfort zones, a world where we’re comfortable with… but staying there won’t help us grow and become better. Of course things won’t be any easier even if we know what to do, but at least we now have clarity. We have the direction we can follow, you know? All it takes then is the courage to step forward.

I’m sorry for saying this, but if you really think that you’re not feeling lonely, why did you reply my mail and tell me all this? *chuckle*

If you feel that this label of anti-social freak hurts you, then maybe, just maybe, you are lonely after all. But it’s alright, Tricia, it’s perfectly okay to feel lonely. That’s why you have Einstein, and that’s why you feel bad for not talking to Emily. We all need someone to share our happiness… and our pain. We all need someone to share our loneliness with, so that we can be lonely together. Maybe that’s what you’re looking for?

You seem like a smart girl, Tricia, and I know you’re not the type to ignore the truth. So be honest to yourself… and be courageous! You’ll be alright, I know you will.

If there’s anything else, feel free to mail me. Pat-Man will always come to the rescue! *pats you on the head* Regards, Pat-Man

Tricia was holding back her tears from falling. No one was ever that direct, yet that gentle to her. She understood everything, but she stubbornly believed that something inside her couldn’t agree with everything that Pat-Man wrote. 

She stood up from the bed, and slowly typed another reply to Pat-Man as she headed outside.

---

Two weeks had passed since Tricia first got in touch with Pat-Man.

Tricia was more outgoing than ever. She was friendlier, more attentive, and more understanding. Slowly but surely, the ‘anti-social freak’ Tricia changed into a more sociable Tricia, and people were also beginning to like talking to her more. Apparently all she needed was a gentle nudge, and she knew exactly who to thank for it.

It was a hot afternoon when Tricia decided that she had to finally talk with her. In fact, she was starting to think how strange it was for her to spend two weeks without talking to Emily. She came to her class right after school and found her sitting idly at her desk, eyes fixated at her smart phone.

“Em?” “Yes? Oh, it’s you.” Her expression turned sour. “Can we talk?” asked Tricia very carefully. “You sure? I mean you have so many friends already now,” scoffed Emily. “Em, I’m sorry about what happened. I really am.” “And then everything’s fine again. Is that what you think will happen?” she stared at Tricia coldly. “No, I mean… well, I know sorry isn’t enough, so you can ask anything and I’ll do it.” She looked at her sharply. “Anything, Trish?” Tricia felt a strong urge to correct her, but she fought hard against that temptation. “Anything, Em.” “Well, you can start by helping me with all my homework,” Emily pointed to a pile of books on the left side of her table. 

Tricia gulped. This will be a long day.

After two hours of slow and painful work, she finished all the work. Emily actually wanted to stop her halfway, feeling a bit sorry of the enormous pile of tasks that she’d forced her to do. Then again, after what Tricia did, she felt like she could finally forgive and forget.

“I’m done, Em.” “I can see that…” “So, is everything fine now?” “Um…” Emily took the time to torture her a bit more. “Come on, Em…” Tricia was slowly starting to think that she wouldn’t forgive her after all. “I’m really sorry, alright?” “Fine,” she laughed. “Apology accepted. I’ve missed you, you know!” Tricia’s jaw almost dropped. “You’ve… missed me?” “Yeah, I mean, you’re like the person who’d still listen to all the things I say, no matter how stupid or silly they are,” she smiled. “I’ve missed you, Tricia.”

Tricia’s face felt hot all of a sudden. “Thanks, Em.” “Come here and give me a hug.” “No, thanks.” “I insist!” Emily thumped into her and hugged her tight. Tricia wasn’t ready for it, so she couldn’t do anything about it.

After finally chatting with her best friend again, Tricia felt like she had completely changed.

“You know, Trish, what made you change like this? You used to be such a loner.” “Um, I think it’s all thanks to Pat-Man,” she smiled. “Oh, right! I haven’t told you! Looks like Pat-Man isn’t a bot after all.” “Well, look at you, playgirl!” Emily laughed. “Scoring with Pat-Man!” “Come on, Em. Anyone could’ve sent e-mails to Pat-Man. I mean his address is like in his bio.” “E-mails? You’re not talking about Twitter? No one has ever heard of any reply from him, you know?”

This piece of news caught Tricia off guard. “What?” “I was just joking about Pat-Man not being a bot. Mails usually just got sent back to the sender’s address, so Pat-Man’s e-mail doesn’t exist, it’s a fake address.” “But I exchanged mails with him,” Tricia insisted. “Right, Trish… I mean sure, I’ll eat up anything you say now that we’re besties again,” she chuckled.

Tricia did not expect this. What about all those messages? 

“Fine, I’ll prove it to you, Em. Let me check my inbox,” she quickly accessed her e-mail. What she saw next she wouldn’t forget for the rest of her life.

“Strange, they were right here last night… I even sent something last night to him! This must be a mistake!” “Come on, Trish… enough with the jokes,” she laughed. “I’m not kidding!” Tricia yelled. “Pat-Man is real! He gave me advice, he talked to me! HE WAS MY FRIEND!” “Tricia…” Emily was starting to get afraid. “Look, maybe it’s better if you forget this whole Pat-Man thing, okay? It’s just a random bot on Twitter after all…”

She couldn’t say anything. Tricia was left speechless, weak on her knees. 

Something was wrong, she thought. Where are you?

Who are you?

----

A week had passed since Tricia made up with Emily. She hasn’t heard from Pat-Man anymore after then, no matter how many times she e-mailed him. Tricia was sound asleep when her phone beeped. She woke up half-heartedly and reached blindly for the phone. 

She jumped into alert when she realized it was an e-mail from Pat-Man.

Dear Tricia,

I’m sorry that I suddenly disappeared. I believe you must be confused about everything—but, most importantly, who I am and why you’re the only one who could contact me. But, before that, let me tell you how happy I am that you’re finally happier and much more alive. Your happiness is, after all, my happiness too.

As you know, people think of me as a bot on Twitter, while in reality I am not. I’m a person, just like you… this you can safely believe to be the truth. But then again, I hope you’d forgive me for the things I’ve told you should do without telling you who I am, Patricia.

Hm? Why do I know your full name, Patricia Manning?

It’s because I AM you. You and I are one body, just two different personalities. Tricia almost dropped her phone. Sweat were running down her chin. You created me as a self-defense mechanism to cope with the loneliness that crippled your heart. Your parents never had any time for you, and you were very shy to begin with. Do you remember those empty periods of time where you’d wake up, feeling worse than when you went to sleep? That’s when I took over. Do you remember those daydreaming times where you’d just snap and not really know what you did? That’s when I tweeted things on behalf of Pat-Man. You wanted a friend, and so you created one in me. You didn’t remember anything because I’m essentially different with you. I am Pat-Man, and you’re Tricia. I wanted to help you, Patricia. I wanted you to be complete again, to reunite with me again. You represented the lonely, perfectionist, thinking side of you; I represented the kind, encouraging, sociable and cheerful side. And now that you’ve finally adopted my traits again, there’s no longer any purpose of me being here anymore.

I deleted the e-mails you sent and received from me before you could show it to Emily for a reason. She doesn’t have to know… no one needs to know. Pat-Man has no longer any function now that you’re finally whole again. I’d like to thank you for the conversations we’ve had, Patricia. Understanding you also helped me to become one again with you.

If there’s anything left I wanted to say before I disappear from your heart… well, take care of Pat-Man’s account for me, will you? The password is ‘patriciamanning’. 

Keep on being awesome, Tricia. And if you would, help pat people’s heads to understand how awesome life is.  Thank you, Pat-Man

She put both her hands on her chest, drops of tears slowly blurring her sight. 

----

Emily Watkins @em_rules I really don’t know what to feel about all this :( 5 minutes ago

PAT_MAN @patman PAT-MAN COMES TO THE RESCUE! #patpat RT @em_rules: I really don’t know what to feel about all this :( 3 minutes ago

Emily Watkins @em_rules You’re so sweet, @patman! :* Trish! @patman rescued me! :D @Patricia_M 2 minutes ago

Patricia M @Patricia_M @em_rules Hahaha, he sure did :) Thank you, @patman. Thank you. 10 seconds ago