#pastsmut

Y/n had just showered and was getting ready for bed. We'd already been together for so long that it had turned into a traditional thing for the two of us.

Every time that Y/n showered and we were going to be in bed I'd give Y/n a shirt of mine and she wears just that and a pair of panties. Seeing as we were just going to bed. There wasn't a single night that we didn't do that cycle.

Y/n would grab the remote to the TV, and I could turn our bedroom overhead light off, turning on the side table light instead. Y/n would climb under the sheets of our bed, grab a book and throw the remote in my general direction.

I'd climb under the sheets., and flick through the man channels that we have. Before landing on the same stupid cartoons that I wasn't able to watch as a child seeing as I was taking care of Sam.

After a few episodes of cartoons, Y/n would put her book down along with her reading glasses and cuddle up with me. Ask me what we were watching. "We're watching scooby-doo. I think it's actually an older version of the cartoon." I said this time around.

She snuggled closer and draped her uncovered leg over my pajama pant leg. The pajamas always make her laugh. The ones that have hotdogs printed them. My shirt grazing over my bare chest.

This is how we fell asleep. Snuggled close to each other, our arms wrapped around each other in the most intimate, protective sort of way. This night was different though.

Y/n started to trace my light scars that covered my body. The ones from being stabbed, or shot during a hunt. Or just the simple more domestic ones like the cuts I get while I shave my jaw.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I asked her, truly wondering what had gotten into Y/n.

"You know, we do the same thing every night. I have seen you shirtless many times. In many different situations, and I've never asked you were certain scars come from. Talking about the ones that came before I was in your life, baby." Y/n said still tracing scar lines.

“You want me to describe my scars?” I asked her. A little confused as to what Y/n was asking me. “Yes, you goofy! What do you think I was asking?” Y/n said rolling her eyes and smirking at me.

“Okay, I get that. Pick a scar and I’ll try to tell you the story of said scar.” I noted.

Y/n grazed her fingers over my shoulder, down my forearm, around the side of my stomach, and then she abruptly turned me to my side. Tracing her hand down the back of my spine. Then Y/n turned me back around on my back. Pointing at the scar that was on my stomach.

It was a long slender cut. It was about midway down my stomach right above my belly button. “This one, Deanie. Tell me the story of this one.” Y/n voiced.

I had to think for a moment. Going back recalling the memories and fights of old hunts. “Let’s see this is a scar from about six years ago. Sam, and I were on a hunt to kill a Ruagru. It was down in South Carolina. The town was on the smaller side.”  I stated. I took a breath in and then let it go, and continued talking.

“The drive was nice, and it was during the summer. So, the three layers of clothes and long flannels needed to come off. This time around Sam and I only had one layers clothes on. We went ahead and did the research for the hunt. The town was losing many kids. The kids in the morgue had they had absolutely no blood in their bodies. That was odd for the small town to deal with.”

Y/n tapped my shoulder, “Is this story a long one?” She asked giggling. “Patience my dear child!” I said starting to tickle her sides. “TELL the story, Dean!” Y/n shrieked. “Okay, okay I’ll tell you the story.” I spoke.

“Sam eventually found out where the ruagru was staying. He found out like the little hacker he is by duh hacking into the tariff lights and such and tracking them down that way. It was of course an old barn, down an old torn up road deep in the woods. Like really, but whatever right. So, we grabbed our shit from the back of baby and got to work. Now let me set the stage for this hunt.”

Y/n hummed in a response for me to continue.

“The barn was old like I have already said, the outside was painted red, but it was so old that most of the paint had come off already. The inside was much different, it was fixed up and made to be livable I would assume. Sam and I snuck in through an open space near the doors of said barn. Sam had a Molotov cocktail, and I had a weapon that looked fucking awesome.”

I said with excitement flowing through my words. Y/n raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Like I was child who had just said the stupidest thing ever, but she doesn’t want me to know.

“It was just a demon killing knife, I bet.” Y/n said rolling her eyes.

“Hey, hey now don’t ruin my story now.” I spoke. Hushing her and continuing on telling my story.

“So yes, a demon killing knife is was I had. I walked in first being the over protective brother that I am. Sam behind me and ready to throw his Molotov cocktail. I was ready for anything if there was more than just one monster. When we finally found the ruagru I guess I must have startled them because they turned around and were in my face within seconds. Within seconds after that they had picked me and thrown me all the way through a wall. The old sherds of woods grazing past my stomach.”

“OH, ahhh!” Y/n said being a smartass.

“Don't be a smartass Y/n. Let me finish the story you so gracefully wanted.” I spoke.

She shrugged and bumped my shoulder with hers. Letting me continue telling my story.

“I didn’t realize until long after Sam and I had killed the ruagru was killed that I was bleeding through my shirt. Sam was actually the one to realize that I was bleeding. I was so mad when that shirt got ruined by the time, we were able to clean our clothes the next time. I ended up throwing away the shirt.” I said with a sad tone behind my voice.

“What was on the shirt?” Y/n said a worried expression on my face.

“You know to think about it now, I think it was an ac/dc shirt, or maybe an old guns and roses shirt that I had found in a local thrift shop at one point long ago. To be honest with you I hadn’t really thought about that since that moment.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“Can we do one more, before we go to bed?”  Y/n asked me nuzzling up closer in to my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and roughly brought her as close as we could possibly be to each other.

“Sure baby, choose away!” I said, a yawn ending my sentence.

She looked around and ended up landing on the cut just underneath my jawline. She outlined it and then said; “What about this one?” Giving Y/n a rather confused expression I made sure that was the one she wanted next. “Are you sure? This one doesn’t really have a great story behind it.” I spoke.

“Duh you goof I realized that, but still, I want the story for this one.... PRETTY PLEASE!” Y/n said screaming the last part. I looked over at her, with my eyebrows raised far up on my forehead. She giggled when she looked up at me, “I’m right here sweetheart. There’s no need to scream!” I whispered. “Whatever you say grandpa.” Y/n came back with.

This time my mouth was wide open my eyebrows still far up on my forehead. I rolled my eyes and closed my mouth. “I’m just going to forget that statement and start my story.” I said, “So, this little scar is actually from when I shaved for our first date.” I said getting thought in thoughts about our first date.

Y/n wore a beautiful short red dress, paired with a pair flats. Y/n pretty much had no make-up on and wore her hair naturally. I took her not to a bar, but an actually four stared restaurants, not that far from the bunker. That night ended very much at the front of Y/n’s bedroom door.

But I remember as I went to walk back to my room. I was pulled by my wrist into Y/n’s plump lips. Now I’m not going to say kissing Y/n didn’t make me feel like a teenager all over again but that’s pretty much what it felt like.

That night we went slow mostly because I knew in that moment when Y/n pulled me into her lips that I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. That only made everything else feel more heightened.

I went slow with her, learning the curves of her body that night. I just listened to her body, I wasn’t trying to show off, or make her remember me. That was something we could do later, but in that moment, I just want to feel her and be with her in every single way.

I was forcible pulled from my thoughts when Y/n jerked my arm rather hard. “What!”  I said a stream of worry flowing through my bones. “Nothing, don’t get you panties in a wade. I just was wondering if you were done telling that story?” Y/n asked with raised eyebrows

“Umm. To be honest with you. All I can remember from that night was how beautiful you looked, and how that night at your bedroom door that I wanted to spend that rest of my days with you. I knew right then that no matter what Chuck said or what Billy said that we were going to be together because I love you.” I said kissing her lips.

Just like every time I kiss her lips it reminds me that she isn’t going to leave. That we are together through anything that could possibly be chucked at us. It reminds me that I’ve got everything I need and it’s all in the room.

When we released each other lips, Y/n looked at me, with bruised lips and said; “I love you to y’know. I remember that day so vividly too. You were wearing your normal jeans and a nicer shirt; we went to a four-star restaurant, I think. I remember you dropping me off at my bedroom door. I so wanted to kiss you before I shut that door, but I couldn’t balls up. I guess that thought of this never happening was too overpowering because the moment I heard your shoes start to fade I opened the door and took the best leap of my life. I love you too Dean.” Y/n said.

Y/n kissed me again in the process ended up in my lap. “Y’know we always end up like this.” I stated as Y/n kissed down my neck. My hands falling down to hips. “This is going to end up with you being submissive, and taking me so well dear.” I spoke. Digging my nails into her hips. She bucked.

“Not too fast naughty boy. Treat your girl to a show first” Y/n said winking at me, before somehow getting out of grasp and running out of our room and down the hall. “Let’s play a quiet game of tag baby. Oh, and just to let y’know. You’re it Dean.” Y/n said running down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah. You better keep running little girl. Because once I catch you. You will be bombarded with kisses all over your body.” I yelled as I followed her around the bunker halls.

“He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none” - Madeline Miller, Circe.