#pasteurized cow

I know, I know, it’s been a long time and I’m sorry. I could spend the next few sentences explaining my lack of grilled cheesiness but I’d rather not. Let’s talk about something better. Something new and weird and sort of exciting. Sounds good, right? Alright, well let me just think about what I want to talk about. Oh right! Exotic Corn dogs! That’s it. Think about it. Are you getting hungry yet? I know that it may sound like the name of some kitschy male stripper joint in South Florida, but I’m talking about the real thing here. No leopard print g-strings (ehhh, maybe, we’ll get back to that), oiled up pecs, or bulging private parts, but instead, imagine a savory apple and pork sausage, skewered, dipped in a rosemary infused corn dog batter and then deep fried to golden perfection. I’m getting horny hungry just thinking about it. You might be asking yourself “What the hell is she talking about?” so let me give you some more background info. I’ve been wanting to open up a cutesy little grilled cheese spot for some time now and ever since Smorgasburg opened (a Brooklyn based taste-orgy that goes on every weekend) I thought it would be awesome to have my own little booth. Unfortunately there’s already a grilled cheese spot, Milk Truck (enter bizarre anger video here), so I can’t open up a booth based on my one true love. But when I went there and blew all of my money over the weekend, I had a revelation. Just because I can’t do GC’s doesn’t mean that this dream of mine has to be crushed like that time when I was twelve and found out that Furby’s aren’t cute but instead absolutely horrifying. Nope. So on Saturday afternoon, my friend and I spent about 8 hours daydreaming/obsessing over opening a fancy pants corn dog spot because, I mean, why not? And how awesome does that sound? There’s about a million awesome combos and you can even make the sticks cool! Needless to say, it got kind of weird with that one. Which brings me to this: How good would this little grilled cheese be, which is made up of broccoli, bacon, and mustard seed and ale cheddar cheese, as a corn dog. AH!

It's 6:00 on a Friday night and I'm sitting in front of my computer with a full face of makeup on (which rarely happens) and a crystal light mojito in hand (don't judge me), getting ready to go out HARD.* I know I haven't done a blog post in about a month now but it's time to get real, which is even easier said typed than done when you have on some confidence-boosting-hot-pink-barbie-lipstick and a night full of uncertainty ahead. Now I'm not one for New Years resolutions but this year I figured "why not?". 2011 was a weird year for me, which wasn't always a bad thing, but I feel like changing some things might make this year even better. So I guess one of my new "self-improvement" type things has to do with being more honest and to just say things when I should. No more holding back, MacKenzie! No more! That's why I'm going to start my first blog post of the New Year with a confession. Now it's slightly embarrassing but I can't help it, I have a new guilty pleasure... I just can't stop... I just can't...can't stop listening to RIHANNA. There I said it. I consider myself sort of a music snob and I never listen to the radio, ever, but when I was in FL for the break I did, like a lot. Rihanna and Calvin Harris's We Found Love has become my new obsession and I have it on repeat. You don't even want to know how many times I've played it. So, yes, this is me 2012. I'm starting you out (a few weeks late) the right way, with an over the top club banging hit. Oh and one more thing, I just had two days off in a row (SAY WHAT?!) and all I've done is stayed indoors, worked on work-stuff, ate microwavable food, and watched 2 seasons of the UK version of SKINS. so yeah, cheers mates.

**Yeah, yeah I know it's not Friday anymore but I didn't have time to finish it that night. 

This grilled cheese was inspired by one of my buddy-followers Coverly and her discovery of Beechers No Woman Cheese, which is really freaking amazing. Follow her tumblr if you know what's good fer ya!

Ingredients -2 slices of rye bread -1 cup of Beechers No Woman Cheese -1 tbsp of green tomato jam -2 pats of salted butter -1 tsp of grated fresh ginger So like most of my recipes begin, you'll want to place half the cheese on each slice of bread. This might be easier to just do one-side-at-a-time, but I was out of my mind on vacation in FL when I shot this, so errrm, yeah. There's also no stove top photo which confuses me. how did I overlooked that part? Who knows. Let's just say that I have no idea what was going on with me that day. Also, for a little more info about this awesome cheese, it's a pasteurized cows milk cheese that is flavored with jerk seasoning. This means that it's quite earthy with spicy undertones but it's also got sweet notes from brown sugar and cloves. IT'S SO GOOD! Oh and Beechers is based out of Seattle but has a shop in NYC and is sold all over the country. So I'm pretty sure, no matter where you live, that you can find this stuff.

Then add some of that tangy green tomato jam. I really enjoy this product a lot. It's a little sweet, a little spicy, and goes really well with the flavors from the jerk cheese. It also seems sort of island-ish which is fitting and made me feel real chill when I ate it with my mom while we stared at the hot surfers on the beach. Do I miss Fl right now? Maybe. Maybe just a little bit. Ok, a lotta bit. Whatever, it's freezing here and there's no snow which just makes it all seem pointless. I haven't even pegged anyone with a snowball yet and that sucks.

So anyways, now that everything is on the sandwich, go ahead and close it up and smear on some butter. Then sprinkle it with some grated ginger. I love how refreshing this makes the finish on the sandwich.

Heat your skillet to medium and place your GC right on in there. Let it cook for about 3-5 minutes on each side until it looks all crispy and you just can't take it anymore! Then remove it from the pan and let it sit for a hot sec, then dig in!

I'm seriously having puppy withdraws. My dog Ollie, the super fat dachshund, is a wimp and hates the cold so he's staying with my parents at the beach. Because of this, I'm talking to strange dogs on the street and sneaking in tail grabs pets when the dogs' owner walks by me. Let me just explain how weird things have gotten. The other day I was at work and this guy came in with a brand new snow-white, blue-eyed puppy, named Elephant (OMG! think i OD'ed on cuteness). He tied him outside of the store and I heard him whimpering so I ran out to get some pets and possibly score a puppy kiss (just a lick, but I call them puppy kisses). Anyways, I instantly fell in love with him and was kneeling on the ground while he was jumping up and trying to lick my face. When he did this, I went in for a hug and I accidentally touched my bright red MAC-glossed lips on his white furry side. I retracted my hug and saw the gigantic crimson streak and tried to rub it out. Whelp, that mac lipstick that I'm in love with, well yeah, it's great because it's a stain. I STAINED A STRANGER'S DOG! I had to walk in and tell the owner that I kissed their dog and now it's stained red. The poor dog's red abdomin couldn't be anymore red than my poor, blushing face. Needless to say, I was super embarrassed but at least I was honest. I'm sure he totally thought I was a freak.  But anyway, this blush-worthy story has absolutely nothing to do with this Thanksgiving green bean casserole-inspired grilled cheese, but I thought I should share because it was absolutely ridic.

Inspired by one of the my favorite side dishes, this GC uses the following ingredients.

Ingredients: - 1 half wheel of Camembert - 6 inch baguette, cut in half - 2 pats of unsalted butter - 2 tsp of French Onion Dip seasoning - 1.5 tbsp sauteed shiitake mushrooms - a couple cooked green beans Camembert, a mild brie-like cheese that has an earthy mushroom taste is perfect for this GC because it sort of mimics the cream of mushroom soup that is so often found in green bean casserole. You'll want to cut a few slices and basically just smush the camembert into both sides of your bread.

Then, gently press in some cooked green beans. If you have leftovers, totally use that, otherwise just trim ends and plunge the beans in boiling water for two minutes. Then strain and throw them in an ice cold bowl of water so that they stay nice and vibrant. No one wants some nasty old brown string beans.

Next comes the mushrooms. For extra texture, I did a quick sauté using diced shiitakes and a little bit of butter. Quick, easy, and delicious.

Then gently place your other piece of bread on top. The cheese that you smushed into the bread should stick so you won't have to worry about trying to get it laid out evenly.

This is my favorite part! You know those packets of French Onion Seasoning that you use for like dips and baked chicken and stuff? Well I sprinkled some of that on top of my butter so it could be like the fried onion crust that's obviously the best part of the casserole*. Do this on one side now, and then on the other once you have it cooking and are ready to flip.

*This was my best idea of the week, just so you know.

 Once it's built, turn your burner to medium and place GC straight into the pan.

Place a weight on top of the grilled cheese so that the round part on the top will cook evenly when you flip it over. Let it grill until golden and crispy; about 4 minutes.

Because Camembert is ultra creamy and super silky, you'll want to let it rest for a hot minute. Resist urges to bite in because you will burn your face off with hot molten cheese lava. Trust me, I might just be the world's biggest klutz an expert on melted cheese oriented burns.

My brother's gone and I made it through Halloween without getting arrested. Thank God. He's such a party boy and trying to keep up with him was absolutely exhausting. You know how when people come to visit, it sort of becomes your vacation too? Well yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and call this my fall spring break because I partied like I was still in college - not that I normally don't. And since Halloween is my favorite holiday, and because I didn't think (or have time) to do a Halloween post as awesome as last year's, I'm making these savory cheesy pumpkin grilled cheese "dumplings" that are bathed in a sage brown butter sauce as the new exciting method for cooking up these awesome sandwiches. Get excited! Here's what you'll need to get your spook on.

Ingredients: - 1 tbsp ricotta cheese - 1.5 tbsp gouda - .5 tbsp pumpkin puree - 1 tbsp salted butter - 2 small sage leaves - 1 tbsp of chopped cooked nueske's bacon - 1 pinch of nutmeg, cinnamon, & sugar - 1.5 tsp salt - 2 large dinner rolls dough at room temp First we need to mix up our filling. I combined the ricotta, pumpkin puree, and grated gouda.

Then I mixed in the spices and the cooked bacon. If you haven't had nueske's bacon then you are seriously missing out. The New York Times calls it the beluga caviar of bacon and I completely agree.

Once the mixture was ready, I started to stretch out the thawed dough. Be careful not to let it break because it will if you play with it too much. You'll want to stretch it far enough so you can seal in the filling.

Then I plopped about 3/4 tbsp of the mixture in the dough.  If you think you can fit more, go for it!

From there, I gently folded the dough over and sort of made a little hand pie. I basically just tucked in the the outside so the filling wouldn't ooze out. You can also use the fork approach and go around the edge with the spiky part by gently pressing down. If you have no idea what I'm talking about (I don't blame you, trying to type this took me about 20 minutes) then check out this video.

Once these little pockets of goodness were ready, I started to make the brown butter sauce. Because I'm essentially cooking the "dumplings" in it, I made sure not to let the butter brown too much because I didn't want them to burn and I wanted to let the insides get all hot and melty. So to do this, turn your heat to medium, add the butter, and once it starts to bubble stir in your bay leaves.

  Then, plop your little dumplings in there and let them sizzle for about five minutes. Your kitchen should start smelling really good. The sweetness from the dough mixed with the nuttiness and herbal awesomeness from the sage brown butter... Ohh la la!

After about five minutes the crust should resemble the picture below. If it doesn't, let it cook for a little while longer and if it does, then flip it! If your dumplings were big, then feel free to rest them against each other to cook the sides that aren't brown. I did so on the opposite side of the seam so I could get more crunchy bites.

Then when they're all nice and golden, take them off the skillet and immediately sprinkle them with salt. Make sure to let them rest for about a minute before you serve them. 

Man it's been too long since I've done a post! This is actually the longest break I've taken since I started GCS over a year ago. Yikes. I apologize to anyone who's been waiting for a new recipe. Fingers crossed that it's not just my mom. But seriously, I've had the busiest month of my entire life and I'm so ready for it to slow down. But unfortunately with Halloween right around the corner, my brother coming to visit (!!!), and my new (third) job writing for Depanneur, I don't actually see chill-out sesh in my future. So yeah, I'm going to try my hardest to keep doing a post a week, even if it means doing it hungover on a Saturday morning. Yeah, that's dedication.

Deep breaths MacKenzie, deep breaths.

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In the meantime, I present you with another new method for cooking grilled cheese. This one is called the burnt gardener because, well, it features a burnt cheesy crust on every side of the bread and it's got a lot of herbs that were picked from my pathetic fire-escape garden. I don't mean to brag, but it's a textural masterpiece. The alternating layers will blow your mind and basically go like this: crunchy--soft and airy--crunchy--melty gooeyness--chewy--crunchy--soft and airy--then crunchy again! That probably makes absolutely no sense, but just check out the pictures and maybe even try it yourself to see what I'm talking about. I think you'll like it.

Alright, let's get this party started.

 Ingredients:

- 1 cup of burning melange gouda

  (or some sort of herbed gouda)

- 2 slices of an olive batard

- 1 tbsp of diced semi-sun-dried tomatoes

- 2 pats of citrus herb butter

    (<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Times; panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} Mince one big leaf of basil and mint, a few

    tiny sprigs of rosemary and parsley then

    combine with 2 tbs of salted butter and a

    pinch of lemon zest)

To begin, go a ahead and melt some of that zesty butter in your nonstick pan over medium heat.

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Once it starts to bubble, throw in 1/3 cup of cheese and spread it around. When it starts to bubble up, turn the heat to high. This high heat will help transform the cheese into a crunchy crust.

Oh! Before we go any further, I've got to tell you about this crazy good award-winning cheese. 

About two and half weeks ago - in the midst of the craziness - I was lucky enough to enjoy a delightful lunch with some of my favorite ladies from the WisconsinMilk Marketing Board. And guess what? Not only were the super nice, but they were also the most generous people EVER! They took me out to lunch (Gah, I love Cafe Colette) and brought me a giant bag of Wisconsin's finest. Among the many blocks of cheese was a cut of burning melange gouda. This herby gouda is spiked with stinging nettles, chives, celery, parsley, dried onion and garlic. It awakens the palate with the bright and refreshing flavors from the herbs, but at the same time because of the aging process, it's mellow and semi-sweet. I've never had anything like it.

So now that you know a little bit about it, let's go back to the recipe.

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Once the cheese and butter are bubbling like a fourth grade science experiment, very quickly throw in two pieces of sliced olive bread and smush them into the cheese. Be careful not to burn yourself. You remember my rule about cooking without a shirt on right? DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT cook in a bikini (or naked) EVER. It may be sexy, I guess(?), but the risks definitely outweigh the rewards.

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While the cheese is bubbling away on the journey of becoming a delicious crispy crust, spread on some of your herbed butter. It should take about 6-8 minutes depending on how much cheese you threw down. I used quite a lot (...duh...) so it took a while. If you decided to be a non-fatty and use a smaller amount of cheese, it should take about 3 minutes.

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Using a metal spatula, gently scrape it against the bottom of your skillet to help seperate the cheese from the pan. If you used a nonstick pan, you shouldn't have to do this, but if your pan has been through the works like mine, well it's best to follow my lead.

Then peek under your bread to make sure that the cheese has burnt a little bit. When it has, flip it!

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Once it's flipped, these burnt cheesy sides are going to be on the inside of your sandwich. Crazy, right?! Who says GC's are only crispy on the outside?

So go ahead and lay on another 1/3 cup of cheese.

Then add some finely diced semi-sun-dried tomatoes. If you have no idea what these are or you aren't able to get them where you live, then regular sun-dried tomatoes preserved in olive oil are fine. I just like the semi-dried variety better because they are less tough and still taste like tomatoes. 

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Now place the other piece of olive bread, cheesy side down to make the GC. Carefully balance it on your spatula and throw in half of the remaining cheese. Don't mind the amount of cheese from that picture because it's not enough. 

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When the first side is good, add the remainder of the cheese, and flip so you can do the other side.  EVERY SIDE SHOULD BE CRISPY.

Finally, when all the sides are equally browned and crispy, take it off the heat and let it sit for a minute so that everything bonds together. 

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Now I know this might not be the prettiest of my creations, but never judge a sandwich by it's crust. Hah! I should trademark that...Along with my sideways toaster grilled cheese that has become an internet meme without any connection to GCS! UGH. Anyways, I've got to get dressed and run to work (surprise!) but hopefully next week I'll finally get my hands on a grill and do a literal grilled cheese. Until then...

xoxo,

There's something special about this sandwich. My Meme used to make me one of these every time I  visited her. As soon as I'd walk in, she'd ask that magic question that never even needed an answer. "You hungry darlin'?" she'd say, and without waiting for a response, she'd rumble through the fridge and bring out her iconic ingredients: cheese, white bread, butter, and a tomato. I know I didn't really mention it but when I went to visit Tallahassee last week, I also went to see my Grandma who has Alzheimer's and is living in an assisted living facility down there. During college, I spent a lot of time with my Grandparents; from Sunday meals to running errands around town. But after my Poppy died during my sophomore year, I sort of became of my Meme's caretaker. It got hard after he passed. They had been married for almost 60 years, and it seemed as if her mind couldn't really deal with it. She began to forget things and the doctor told us that she was displaying early signs of Dementia. At first we laughed about her using sugar instead of salt in her tomato gravy and rice, but it got to the point where she needed some serious help and unfortunately, I was planning on moving to New York for grad school that same summer. The decision to leave was really hard, but luckily, I had my amazing uncle there to help as much as he could. After I left, the inevitable happened, the disease got a hold of her and was she diagnosed with Alz. I'm not going to put on a front and say it was lovely and wonderful seeing her last week because it wasn't. It was really, really, really freaking hard. I mean, luckily, she still remembers all of us, but it's not the same. She's not really there and she knows it. It's tough seeing her like that. And because of it, I wanted to make a post to celebrate my Meme by commemorating her amazing hospitality and love. This little snack was something that she'd whip up, pop in the oven, and then forget about it for the next few minutes while she caught up with me. It was also perfect for times when I brought over my starving college friends, because she could fill a whole baking sheet and not have to tend to the frying pan like with traditional grilled cheese sandwiches. Honestly, she's the best, you'd love her...even when she gets a little sassy...and she does get a little sassy.

As I mentioned before, those iconic ingredients are:

 Ingredients: - 2 slices of lite boule or some white bread - 1/2 cup of shredded fontina - 1 giant beefsteak tomato slice - 1 tbsp of herbed butter   (combine 1 tbsp salted butter with 1/2 tsp herbs    de provence) My entire family is obsessed with butter. I'm not kidding, not even a little bit.  I once saw teeth marks in a tub of I Can't Believe it's Not Butter. Who does that?? I still think it was my Dad but he'll never fess up.  But yeah, my mom always bought that kind because if we had the good stuff in our fridge, it would be devoured, along with every single piece of bread or cracker in the house. But before I gross you out any longer... To begin, go ahead and butter your bread with some delicious herbed butter. Feel free to mix up with anything you'd like; garlic or thyme-infused butter would work wonderfully.

During the next step, you'll want to preheat your oven to 450°. Then put the bread, butter side down, onto a baking sheet. Then sprinkle it with fontina cheese. My Meme always used government cheese cheddar but I just did cheddar in last week's post so I wanted to switch it up. 

Next, you'll want a nice thick slice of tomato to lay down right in the middle of the sandwich. Sometimes Meme would salt and pepper it, but I never knew when to do that so I left it out. Whenever I tried , it would always come out too salty. I guess she just had some sort of magic touch.

When it's all built, go ahead and place the baking sheet on the middle rack for about six and a half minutes. This will give you ample time to pour someone a sweet tea and bring them a cookie.*

*Hospitality lesson 101: Always bring someone a sweet tea and a cookie. It will instantly make them happy they came over.

And then when it's all bubbly and golden, take it out and fold the two pieces together to make a sandwich. 

Give it a second to rest because if you cut it right away, the tomato will slip out and burn your chin.  I'm speaking from experience, of course.

Bye bye Brooklyn! I'm heading back to the good ole Sunshine State tomorrow to get real sloppy have a nice little vacay. I'll be seeing family, tailgating at the Doak, eating lots of Southern food, and reliving my college days; the good ones at least. Let's not get into detail about the long nights that helped me become "Champion" the drinker. FSU did teach me a lot though. I mean, sure, I got my bachelors, and learned a ton about psychology and aging. But I also learned about the more important things in life; like how to hold my liquor and how to trick people into thinking that I actually cared about football. Which I did... sort of... at least the tailgating part. But most importantly, I learned how throw the most trashy eloquent dinner parties at four in the morning. And ya know what? I think this just might be where I developed a knack for weird grilled cheese combinations and cooking methods. I'd make due with what I had, because believe me, you didn't want me driving to Club Publix in the wee hours of the morning. And that's where this off the wall way to cook GC's comes into play. One night long ago (ok, so like four years ago when I was a junior at FSU), I had some french bread that had a lot of holes in it. When I cooked up the sammie's, the cheese started to ooze out and even though I was freaking out (because I thought I ruined the sandwiches), I went with it. I guess you could call that liquid courage. This accident turned into a delicious disaster - give the bread the holes so that the cheese can melt out and you can have the best crust of all time. So yeah, you're going to poke holes all in the grilled cheese. GET EXCITED! 

So here's what you'll need to get a little sloppy...

Ingredients: - 1 brioche bun - 2 tbsp Tillamook medium cheddar - shredded - 2 pats of salted butter - a couple potato chips - I used McClure's pickle   chips because they're my favorite thing EVER - 1.5 tbsp sloppy joe mix at room temperature **not pictured - a straw ** If you're new to reading this blog, then you probably haven't heard me rave about Tillamook very much. They're basically one of my favorite cheese companies OF ALL TIME. Thanks to them my friend and I were flown out to LA and got to be a part of the Grilled Cheese Invitational. BEST TIME EVER. Ok, enough of the cap-locks - you get I'm excited about this, right? So, basically if you ever need some bomb a** cheddar you better do yourself a favor and use Tillamook. It's kind of hard to find on the East Coast but luckily some Trader Joe's and Whole Foods carry it. So yeah, get it and shred it up. The finer it's shred, the better it'll melt.

So to begin, you're going to want to use one of my tricks that I sometimes do here on GCS. When you're trying to use a bun, you'll want to cut it so that the two bready sides can function as the outside toasted pieces. I know that makes absolutely no sense, but basically you'll want to use the sides that are not the butt so that you get that nice toasty texture.

I had a super huge brioche bun so I chopped off the top and discarded it (ok, so i gobbled it up), and used the middle and bottom pieces. Flip the bottom piece so that the butt will be the side that you build the sandwich on.

See?

Righty-o, so now that you've got your bread sliced, you'll want to pack on a hunk of shredded cheese. I made this at like nine in the morning and I ended up eating like half of the cheddar I cut, so I kept having to shred more. That's totally fine - it's actually exactly what Tillamook wants; their customers eating whole blocks of cheese at nine in the morning.

Now pile on that sloppy mix - EXTRA SLOPPY.  I know how you'z kids like 'em extra sloppy.  **Now someone yell "Lady you're scaring us!"**

Now for the chippies. I have always put chips on Sloppy Joe's. I don't know why or how it started, but it's something that I have to do. The crunchy texture just makes the sandwich so much better. Try it. And if you haven't had McClure's pickle chips, get yourself some. We sell them at my work, Depanneur, and let me tell you what - mmmmhmmmm. That's it. That's all I can say about them. Oh wait I guess I can share what my roommate said about them - "they kind of taste like salt and vinegar mixed with sour cream and onion and pickles." She's a genius, that one.  So pile on a few or smash 'em on. It really doesn't matter. They'll get crushed anyway.

Now, stack on the rest of the cheese.

And the top piece of bread.

Then you'll want to butter both sides of your bread and turn your burner to a low heat.  Once your sandwich is in the griddle, go ahead and take your straw and poke holes all over it. This will create little tunnels that'll let your cheese flow out like molten lactose. As your liquid gold starts to ooze out, it'll create a cheesy crust that sort of tastes like a Cheez-It BUT BETTER.

   Make sure to do the hole-poking thoroughly on each side so that you get a nice-even cheesy crust.

  Since it's cooking on such a low heat, it'll take like 7 minutes to cook on each side. Because brioche burns so quickly and since you want your cheese to be able to travel through the holes, it's very important that you give it ample time to cook. Don't try to rush it. Relax, drink a beer. Unless it's nine in the morning, and in that case, drink a bloody mary or something. This is what it should look like if your cheese was able to melt out through the holes. If it didn't, simply just smack some shredded cheese on the outside and grill it so that it cooks it real quick. It'll work the same way but the hole method is much more fun. It made me feel like a scientist! A grilled cheese scientist!

After that, you'll want to take it off the stove-top, let it set for a minute, and then serve it while it still looks all pretty and delicious like the one below.

I've always had big dreams for my toaster. Well sort of. I know it might sound strange, but ever since I saw The Brave Little Toaster when I was like five, I've had a soft spot for old appliances and a weird habit of calling my toaster slot-head. Remember the suicide-nightmare scene when Toaster is depressed because Master ditched him and dreams about falling into a bathtub to her (his? I could never tell) death? Horrifying, right? 

Well yeah, I guess you can say it sort of stuck with me. Maybe that's why I can't seem to toss the jenky old toaster that was given to me when I moved to New York two years ago. I mean, it probably cost like ten bucks at CVS but I've put like thirty bucks into revamping it so it's not going anywhere. Yes, I've just announced that I've given my toaster a facelift a few times. Yes, I'm weird and spray paint my kitchen appliances so they look cute. Yes, you should too, it's so easy and Montana Gold spray paint works perfectly.  

But I digress. This is about grilled cheese making! So let me tell you about this grilled cheese that's made with my slot-head a toaster.

Here's whatchaaaa need...

 Ingredients: - 2 slices of muenster cheese - 2 slices of white bread - four thinly shaved pieces of speck - 1 tbsp of good and evil pickles   (or any sweet and spicy pickles) - 1 toaster Now before you begin - please take these necessary precautions and pay attention to these slightly horrifying important parts. 1.  CLEAN OUT YOUR TOASTER. 2.  FLIP YOUR TOASTER ON IT'S SIDE. 3.  DO A TEST RUN. 4.  DO NOT LEAVE YOUR TOASTER UNATTENDED WHILE YOU'RE MAKING THIS GC. Basically just pop a piece of bread in there to see if you have any hotspots. These are areas that burn quicker than the rest of your bread. If you have a new toaster, you probably won't have this issue. But if you've got them you need to be aware and take extra steps before you start to toast the cheesed up pieces. Of course, my crappy old toaster had one really bad hotspot; in the back of the top slot which caused instant burnt toast once it was flipped on its side. I'll tell you how I remedied this later on in the post. Another point that I need to mention is that when I was doing the research for this post, I found that quite a few people had toasters that had these metal gates that sort of gripped the bread while it was being toasted. My hand-me-down vintage toaster is probably about 8 years old, so it doesn't have any fancy metalwork. But some do, and if yours does, this method won't work for ya. SORRY! The heated metal prongs will press into the cheese and start a smoky mess and maybe even start a fire which is not a lawsuit I'd like to deal with. So yeah, give up now if that's what's going on in your kitchen. Come back next week and I'll have a new method just for you!

So when you use the whole "toaster technique" you're going to want to use a super flat slice of cheese.  Using shredded cheese would be an absolute mess and would definitely fill your house with the smell of burnt cheese. No bueno. So yeah, stick to the sliced stuff and lay one slice on each piece of bread.

Also, now that you're aware of your hot spots and are ready to start to melt some cheese, go ahead and gently press down your toasting lever and watch the magic unfold.

I let mine toast for about two and a half minutes on the "low" setting. And because of my toaster's hot spot, I made sure to rotate my bread half way through so the back wouldn't get all burnt up and cause my house to smell like death. Yes, death. It's awful, but not as awful as burnt hair. That's the worst. And here's another tricky part, if your toaster is anything like mine, it will projectile-launch your toast four feet across the room when it decides it's "done". This is a serious issue. Cheese burns are no fun and they seriously feel like molten lava if they just so happen to launch out and hit you in the stomach while you're wearing a bikini*. Make sure to gently pop your toast out, and have a shirt on, please, please, please take my advice and have a shirt on.

*True story, lesson learned. Don't ever cook in a bikini.

Now this is the part when you need to work quickly. After the cheese has melted, take your toast out and start piling on the good stuff.

I threw on some speck, which is like a juniper flavored version of prosciutto. It's super yummy and salty and good, and I actually like it about 300 times more than regular ole' prosciutto.

Then I piled a couple of these delicious sweet and spicy pickles that my friend Bev mailed me from Florida. They're called good and evil pickles and they're made by the wonderful people at Mercier Orchards. Basically it's equal parts whole garlic cloves, sliced jalapenos, and cucumber rounds. They're super spicy but it's not overwhelming because the sweetness masks the burning which in turn, forces you to keep eating them so that you maintain this equilibrium of hot-to-not-so-hot balance. Am i the only one that experiences this vicious and sometimes fattening cycle? I think that's why I always eat way too much chips and salsa at Mexican restaurants. Sorry, back to the point.

Once your fillings are all in, place the other piece of cheesy toast on top. If you're not afraid of a few hundred calories more, smear some butter all over the toast to make it more grilled cheese-ish. I felt really weird about not putting butter all over this sandwich but I'm going back to Florida for a visit next week and i might have to be in a bathing suit, so i figured I could go without it... even if i felt like a traitor.

Now slice it down the middle and serve immediately!