#part 7a

Hunter stood beside the bar, waiting for his, Myri’s and Omega’s drink, he was surprised to see there were a few kids attending the Gala. It made him smile seeing how much fun Omega was having running around and dancing with some of the other kids. His eyes glanced from Omega to Myri, she was sitting at their table talking with Lurwa and Tala, joking and laughing.

Watching her sitting there made his heart swell, to know that this was their family. After all the pain, he and his vode had been through, they finally had a chance to be happy, to live a normal life. 

Myri’s eyes locked with Hunter’s, he couldn’t help smile from ear to ear when they locked eyes. 

“Your drinks, sir” the droid behind him pulled him from his musings, he nodded his thanks, taking the three drinks and heading towards their table. He placed Myri’s drink in front of her, his smile still present. 

As he took his seat, he shifted closer to her, chuckling as she leaned against him. Holding the drink up to Omega, catching her eyes, she nodded in understanding and continued dancing with one of the Senators’ daughters. Hunter wasn’t quite sure which one it was, but he thought it was the Senator from Pantora.

“What’s got you smiling, Hunt?” Lurwa asked as she took a swig from the remnants of her drink.

“Just thinking”

“About?” Tala prompted, raising her eyebrow. 

He chuckled, “About how things have changed. Not just the end of the war, but even us, all of us.” He looked at Myri, placing a kiss on her forehead, “Us specifically.”

“When did you two become an item? I was under the impression you two had been dating for a while, but Wrecker told me it only recently happened” Lurwa clarified. 

“Oh well, you can blame the delay on this one” Myri motioned to Hunter.

“Excuse me, it takes two my dear” he joked as he wrapped his arm around her.

“That it does” she giggled as she leaned into him. 

“So… how did it happen?” Tala asked, her hands propped under her chin, waiting in anticipation for the story.

Myri simply looked at Hunter, smirking, “Well you might as well tell it, since it was your fault.”

“Fine, but you owe me cyar’ika. Anyway, what happened was …

- - - - - -  * - - - - - - * - - - - - -

Tech stood in the middle of a now deserted battleground, scorches of blaster residue, along with droid parts littering the field around the five of them. 

He stood beside Echo focusing on the transmission he was receiving, now that the danger had been exterminated. He was focusing on making sure the information he was hearing and reading was accurate.

Echo tried and failed several times to gain his attention, it was as though the world around him had stopped existing. He was grateful the fighting had finished, otherwise Tech would’ve been the first to be picked off. Regardless, they needed to keep moving, he finally, resolved to pushing Tech’s arm to get his attention, “Tech, what’s going on? What’s got you so engrossed?”

“It’s over” 

It was all he muttered, as he stood there, trying to comprehend the weight of what it meant. Wrecker, Crosshair, and Hunter stopped in their tracks, at what they thought they had heard.

Hunter wondered if what he heard was correct, “What did you say?”

“It’s over. The war. It’s over.”

“How? Did they capture General Grievous?” Wrecker asked, completely forgetting the droid he had ripped in two still in his hands, the battle from a moment ago was now a distant memory, as it been brushed out of their minds at the news.

“It’s not very clear they are saying …” Tech stopped as he straightened at listening to the news, “well that is quite interesting. It appears General Kenobi and General Skywalker have killed Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.”

“Isn’t that treason?” Crosshair’s skepticism ringing through.

“That doesn’t matter right now. What does matter, is what’s happening now. Have they said anything with regards to standing down or proceeding with the ops currently in progress?” Hunter stated, focusing back on the task at hand.  

Echo shifted doing his best to focus on the here and now, despite the concern he felt for his former General.

“Nothing is clear at the moment”

“Until we hear confirmation one way or another we have a job to finish. Everyone, get your head back on the mission. We have remnant droids that need to be dealt with. Execute plan Delta 22-Bravo.” Everyone nodded, as they headed towards their assignment, Hunter shifted away from the group, heading towards the rows of trees, where the droids had disappeared to; as much as the speech may have been for his vode, it was just as an important reminder for himself. His mind needed to be focused on his task and not on the possibility of the war ending, and what it could mean for him. For them. For everyone.

“What do you think is up with him?” Wrecker leaned over and asked Echo, the only response he received was a quirked eyebrow. “Is it because of Myri?”

“Wrecker” Crosshair called out, motioning to him to follow the way he was heading. There was no need to guess what was on Hunter’s mind, after all they’d all been there for the explosive argument between Hunter and Medic Myri Kambe.

Myri was interesting enough, she clearly cared about them, they could tell that from the first time they met her, she’d been one of the few medics on Kamino that actually treated them with respect and kindness. 

Before they even realized she had seeped into their hearts, she became their vod’ika, they all admired and treasured her, however with Hunter there was definitely something more. Though he denied it every chance he had. 

In Wrecker’s word the argument between the two had been absolutely epic, it was a song and dance of their feelings, that everyone knew except for the two of them. 

It wasn’t long before they were heading back to the Marauder, receiving instructions to head back to Kamino, apparently everyone was being recalled, for some sort of mandatory general assembly.

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - - 

“Were you waiting with doe eyes, hoping for Prince Charming to arrive?” Tala chuckled.

“Hardly, I was swamped with paperwork, after all the craziness that happened with the announcement of Palpatine dying, I hardly had a moment to breathe.”  

“She was in the middle of a report when we found her on Kamino” Hunter clarified.

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - - 

Myri was finishing up her report for General Shaak-Ti, after the chaos that had been the past few days, reports were being prioritized. Everyone, was on edge and yet relieved as well. It was making Kamino feel like a ticking time bomb.

She glanced around the room, she tried to remember since she first stepped on to Kamino when were there so little casualties, her mind was lost in thought when the door to med slid open. The sound pulling her out of her musings, she looked over to see her favourite group of guys walking in.

“MYRI!” Wrecker’s booming voice echoed off the med walls, within an instant she stood, rushing over to them, shushing him, glancing around to make sure no one was woken by the boisterous vod.

Wrecker at the same time chuckled, picking her up in his best big brother hug. Squeezing her as tight as possible without hurting her. 

“Sorry” he whispered, well what qualified as a whisper for Wrecker, placing her down on the ground as gently as possible. 

Crosshair simply nodded a hello, his toothpick shifting from one side to the next. 

Echo smiled before shifting his eyes away, still uncomfortable with the droids around the med room, and Tech was adjusting his goggles ready to tell her about everything that happened on their last mission and what new things he learned. 

Hunter was the only one who didn’t have any sort of reaction, he simply stood in the back of the group, keeping his distance. He wanted to reach out, to be all jokey with her, but something kept him from fully opening up to her. Their last fight simply amplified how much he hated the distance he seemed to have created between them.

“Oh” Myri clapped her hands, as quietly as possible directing her attention to Wrecker and Echo, lowering her voice, “I was requested to inform the both of you” she pointed to them, “there are some special guests waiting for the two of you specifically, in hangar bay 342-A. I believe they said their mission was partly successful, they needed their welcome home kiss to make it truly successful.”

Before she could even finish Wrecker took off like his kit was on fire, waving and shouting a thank you over his shoulder abandoning his vode without a second thought. 

Echo simply shook his head, thanking her properly on behalf of the both of them before following Wrecker’s path, pretending to walk calmly until he was out of sight and then running at full speed.

“What’s so special about the hangar bay?” Cross sneered out

“Tala and Lurwa are waiting for them there”

“Tala’s here?” He looked surprised.

“Mmhmm, they finished their assignment and came here directly” Myri answered somewhat absentmindedly as she moved around the room, organizing . She was doing her best to avoid Hunter, their argument still fresh in her mind. 

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - -

“Wait, what was the argument you guys had?” Lurwa looked from Myri to Hunter.

“You never told them?” Hunter asked as his hand intertwined with hers.

“No. I was very angry, they were off on missions, and I didn’t exactly want to talk about you.”

“Fair enough” he muttered, raising her hand to his lips, placing the gentlest kiss he could muster, “So what happened was …”

“No. Let me tell this one” Myri smirked, as she looked at him.

“All yours”

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - - 

The med room felt crowded as Myri walked in after dealing with an injury in one of the training rooms the cadets were using. Omega who had stuck by her side as her med assistant for the day, glanced around smiling as she saw the Bad Batch on each of the med beds, a scowl on each of their faces, clearly none of them wanted to be there. 

Myri simply chuckled to herself, it was time for their routine physical after fifty missions. It wasn’t mandatory for anyone, just the Bad Batch. 

“Alright boys, I guess it’s that time again, the joys of your physicals. I want to say thank you for coming willingly and not forcing me to hunt you guys down.”

They all simply nodded, they uneasiness of being there affecting each one of them differently. “So who wants to be first?”

Echo simply chuckled, “Good luck” he muttered as he focused on his scomp arm, tweaking it till it felt right. 

Tech was too focused on his datapad to really pay attention to anything happening. 

Wrecker was busy fixing up the 99 skull mark on his helmet.

Crosshair was polishing his gun, and Hunter was fiddling with his knife.

“I know, you guys hate it, but the faster we get to this, the faster you can go back to your bunks and relax, right?”

“Come on it won’t be as bad as you think” Omega chimed in, Wrecker turned to look at her.

“Omega!” He chuckled as he ran and picked her up, tossing her on to his shoulder, as though it had been the most natural thing for the two of them.

“Wrecker, I have to show you this new move Myri taught me”

“Ohhh, like what…”

“Omega” Myri called her, “We have to focus on the physicals first, then you can show Wrecker what I showed you”

“Yes, Myri” Omega tapped Wrecker’s shoulder, motioning for him to let her down. He begrudgingly put her down, and rolled his eyes. Omega sniffled a laugh, as she moved to stand beside Myri. 

“Alright, I know this isn’t fun for anyone, but let’s get this through quickly, who wants to go first?”

Silence lingered in the room for longer then it probably should’ve, Echo stood clearing his throat, “I’ll go first,” she nodded moving to the cubicle he was in, Omega following behind her, they turned on the private screen, going through each process, it was about twenty minutes later when he was all done. They walked out, Omega with a giant smile on her face, “Alright Omega, what do we do when we have an excellent patient?” 

She simply chuckled as she ran to Myri’s desk and pulled out a small piece of candy, giving it to Echo, whose eyes examined it carefully with care, “It’s not a bomb Echo” Myri let out exhausted. Every time Echo had to examine it from all sides, smell it, squeeze it, and then slowly unwrap the candy. “It’s a hard candy, tastes like Meiloorun.”

Hunter sat there catching glimpses of Myri as often as he could without being conspicuous, Crosshair had stood and headed to sit beside his vod, while she focused on Wrecker’s physical, “You stare at her anymore, and she’ll be burned into your cornea”

“I’m not staring at her”

“Correct” Tech chimed in, “You are not staring, you are glancing every chance you have.”

“You are both wrong”

“Why don’t you just admit it?” Echo asked as he moved over closer to the other three, keeping his voice down along with theirs.

“There’s nothing to admit”

“Are you sure about that?” Crosshair motioned to Myri, who had stepped out of the room with Wrecker smiling from ear to ear, as Omega told him in detail the procedures Myri had taught her.

“Alright who’s next?”

“Hunter” Cross spoke up.

“Tech should be next, he was electrocuted briefly on the last mission”

“I am perfectly fine”

“I’ll be the judge of that” Myri stated, motioning for Tech to follow her.

“What’re we talkin’ about?” Wrecker glanced among his brothers, as they all had their eyes focused on Hunter.

“The fact that he” Echo motioned towards Hunter,  “should just admit what he feels”

“OH! For Myri!”

“Shhhh! Keep your voice down!” Hunter chastised, “There is nothing to admit, do I respect her? Yes. Do I believe she’s an excellent medic? Without a doubt. Do I view her as anything more? No. Now let’s move on.” Hunter stood, moving away from his swarming brothers, only to turn around and find them following him. 

“Don’t do that” Cross spoke, “There’s a chance you can be happy with the person you have feelings for, don’t act stupid by not talking to her about it.” He did his best to avoid Echo’s eyes, despite the fact they had both moved on from the night Cross had confessed his feelings to Tala, there was still tension between the two of them.

“If there were feelings, sure” Hunter stated, “However, why would I like someone who is as unappealing as her? Why you guys find her so attractive is beyond me? Myri is annoying, way too happy, and overbearing when it comes to her diagnosis. There is no way anyone in their right mind would look at her with any sort of affection.”

“Is that so?” Myri’s voice cut into the group who had been too focused on their brother to hear the sounds of their footsteps, or Tech’s constant coughing and clearing of his throat to announce their presence. 

The group parted leaving Hunter to stand alone and face Myri, there was a disappointed look on her face. Her eyes held the pain she felt from his criticism of her, she simply cleared her throat and motioned for Cross to follow her. The silence that followed as Hunter waited for his turn for his physical, and for the proverbial axe to fall on his neck made a twenty minute exam feel like an eternity. 

“Well you all appear very healthy and you are all good to go” Myri turned to head to her office.

Omega was about to chime in that Hunter hadn’t been examined yet, however before she could open her mouth Tech spoke up.

“Hunter hasn’t been examined yet?”

Myri stopped in her tracks and turned to look at Hunter, her eyes narrowing in on him, “Oh, I’m sure there’s nothing but a good nights rest won’t fix, after all who would want an annoying, overbearing, and extremely friendly medic to care for them. I’m sure if there is anything injured or about to fall off, one of you or one of the many other medics can take care of it?”

“Myri…” Hunter stepped forward, panic setting in his heart, “I …”

“You …” her foot tapped against the floor as the anger pushed and coursed its way through every fibre of her being, “You what? You’re annoyed that I’m not doing my job? Or do you find my refusal to be overbearingly difficult to move on from? Or I know maybe I’m just not worthy of anyone to look upon me in any fond manner?”

“You don’t understand…”

“Oh, I don’t understand? No. No. You seem to think that just because I’m not out in the field, or just because I’m a medic I should have to tolerate your abuses, and derogatory remarks. Let me explain something to you, I’m happy because I enjoy my work. I try my best to be friendly with everyone in this godforsaken place because at least once in everyone’s life they can look back at our interactions with fondness, and it might be the only happy memory they have, while they’re out fighting for some stupid ridiculous reason. Overbearing? I make sure to do my job to the best of my abilities, and that includes making sure that each and every one of my patients follow through on their remedies. Have I ever treated you with any kind of disrespect?”

Silence filled the room, Omega was uncomfortable with the tension that was filling every corner and did her best to hid behind Wrecker.

“Answer me!”

“No” Hunter let out barely audible.

“Have I ever made you feel that somehow I was mocking you? That you were unworthy of being valued or viewed as a decent person?”

“No” once again his answer was barely audible.

“Then why? Why do you think it’s okay to talk about me like that behind my back? And in my own med!”

He didn’t answer, the guilt and shame he felt for avoiding the real issue ate away at him, he wanted to apologize, to say so many things he should have but before he got the words right, she walked away, calling Omega to follow her over her shoulder. 

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - - 

Lurwa and Tala simply sat there with wide eyes as they looked at Hunter, neither saying anything for the better part of a minute.

“I’m sorry” Tala cleared her throat, “You said what!”

“Oh hunny, I know you must have had a screw loose at that moment; and you best be glad you did not speak to me in that way, just ask Wrecker if you have any doubt.”

“Trust me, I regretted it the moment I opened my mouth and looked into Myri’s eyes; I regretted it every second of every day.”

- - - - - - * - - - - - - * - - - - - - 

Hunter cleared his throat getting Crosshair’s attention motioning over his shoulder, Cross simply smirking, understanding his vod better than most, he nodded as he flicked Tech’s elbow. Without any further, the two slinked out without making a noise. 

Hunter had his helmet in his hand, fidgeting with the rim of his helmet, doing his best to muster up the courage to speak. They hadn’t spoken since their argument.

He sent numerous data streams apologizing for his disrespect and for the hurt he caused her. He tried comming her, sending holomessages, even a written letter on flimsy he entrusted to an injured trooper, each medium he used was left unanswered. The only response he had received was the confirmation of delivery, whether it was read or not was beyond his scope of knowledge, and he didn’t want to go to Tech asking him to hack into her system to see whether she’d read them. 

“Tech you were going to tell me about what you had discovered on your mission” she asked over her shoulder as she went to grab a datapad she needed Tech to look over. 

“Unfortunately, Tech and Cross took off.” 

She didn’t respond, simply remained as still as possible at his statement, she hadn’t expected them to leave her alone with Hunter. 

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight from side to side, trying to find a way to break the ice between them “I imagine things have been crazy the last week, since the news of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine dying was announced.”

Myri stopped what she was doing. Closing her eyes, listening to his voice, it was the one voice she could easily identify amongst a sea of voices. She’d be lying if she said her heart never skipped a beat for him, from the moment she met him, he held a special place in her heart. From the way he looked after Omega, his brothers, and even the few times he’s stepped in to take care of her, every time his actions would chip away another layer of the wall she had put up to guard herself. 

Hearing him say all those things about her, just as they got back from an assignment, hurt a lot more than she ever could’ve imagined. They hadn’t seen her for almost 132 rotations, and the first thought that came into his mind were words that cut to the bone. It hurt even more when they were given another assignment just as soon as they were medically cleared. He hadn’t even tried to apologize or offer up an explanation before he left, he didn’t even attempt to see her.

She didn’t respond to his statement, for what was there to say, of course things were crazy. Why wouldn’t they be?

Hunter let out a sigh hoping to get some reaction out of her, “Are you going to the general assembly they called for tomorrow?”

She gave a simple nod, it was a mandatory assembly, of course she would go, why did she need to explain more?

“I imagine things might be different after tomorrow” Hunter wanted to finish the sentence by saying ‘between the two of us,’ but that would’ve been overstepping. Although, he allowed his mind to wonder about the possibility, could there be a time in the future when he could just tell her the truth about what he felt?

She didn’t respond, simply moving around the room, doing her best not to look at him.

He placed the helmet on the table beside him, he took in a deep breath and clenched his hands by his side hoping to actually say the words he needed to. Why this was so difficult for him, was baffling his mind completely. 

“I know you are incredibly angry with me right now” Hunter ran his fingers through his hair, at least he got something out, “there are not enough words in any language to truly convey how deeply sorry I am for what I said that day.”

She shuffled over to her storage cabinet, doing her best to appear not to be affected by his words, however, the truth was she didn’t want Hunter to see her face, it was a mixture of anger and pain, as the welled up tears forced their way to the surface. 

“You don’t have to say anything” he offered quickly, regardless of how much he wanted to hear her voice, to hear her laugh, to see her eyes shine the way they did when she only looked at him; he was the one at fault and the one that needed to make amends, not her. “I know I hurt you, the minute I said those horrible things I knew it was a mistake. I’ve been regretting it since the moment my mouth opened and all of it came spilling out.”

‘Then why did you say them?’ Was the question she wanted to ask but no matter how hard she tried to open her mouth, her jaw wouldn’t cooperate. She braced herself against the counter, letting her head drop between her shoulders, if Hunter was watching her, as she imagined he was, he’d known how much pain she really was in. 

There were many things she realized after that day, first no matter how much she admired him, he clearly didn’t feel the same way about her. He respected her for her skill and that was about it. The second thing she realized was the fact she actually had feelings for him, not just a crush as she kept trying to fool herself, but real genuine feelings. The final thing, there was no way anything could possibly happen between the two of them. 

“A few things have become clear to me since that day” he took in a deep breath and took one step towards her, though he couldn’t see her face, his senses could tell she was crying, seeing her shoulders so tense, and the fact she completely gave up the pretence of working. The pain he felt in his heart was no where near close to the pain she was feeling at the moment, he knew he was the only one to blame for all of it. “First, I realized what a collasal sheb (ass) I’ve been, as Crosshair likes to remind me.”

He took another step towards her, “That day the guys were harassing and hounding me to my wits end about …” he wondered if this was a good a time as any to confess what was lurking in his heart, what had been more than lurking, it had set up base camp, made a home and overwhelmed his heart completely. 

“About?” Myri’s voice was low and quivering as she mustered up the energy to utter at least one word.

Hunter’s heart swelled at hearing her voice, maybe he was jumping the gun a little, but at least at that moment she had finally began to open up, she finally started to acknowledge not only his presence but what he was saying. 

“About you”

Myri let out a light gasp, her head raised at his two words, she still wasn’t ready to look at him, but she was ready to a least hear what he had to say. 

“You see …” he took another step forward, closing the distance between the two of them, “for a long time, I refused to admit something that was painfully obvious to everyone else. It wasn’t because I was ashamed …” he shifted a little before he took another step, “it’s because I was scared, and they were doing their best, in their own overbearing way, to help me realize I had nothing to be scared about.”

She wanted to hear him talk, to listen the timber of his voice, but right now she needed him to get to the point, she wiped away the tears that escaped down her cheek, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how I felt about you since the moment I met you. What I said, what I called you …” Hunter let out a deep sorrowful sigh as he took another step closer, “I didn’t mean any of it, it’s not an excuse and I know it’s a poor apology, but the truth is I was scared admitting my feelings for you. Which is why I choose to hide what I really felt. I thought if I was cruel enough, then my vode would leave me alone; then you wouldn’t …”

Myri shifted her head slightly to catch a glimpse of him standing three feet away from her, she wondered when he had moved that close to her, his hair looked a mess, his eyes were full of sadness, regret and pain. 

“I wouldn’t?”

“Wouldn’t have learned about how I felt, how I’ve always felt, and you wouldn’t have needed to reject me, I wouldn’t have needed to hear you tell me though you appreciate my friendship, you simply couldn’t give me your heart.”

She fully turned to face him, disbelief and shock written across her face, he actually had feelings for her? What the what! She shook her head, running her hands over her face, trying to understand what kind of nonsense he had in his head.

“Are you an idiot?” The words flew out of her mouth before she could even stop them, she cleared her throat, wiping away a tear that had still remained, “What I meant to say was, what do you want me to say? What do you want from me? To forgive? To understand what you are trying to say? To just agree with you? To dismiss what you said? What do you want for me to do?”

Hunter couldn’t quite meet her eyes, no matter how much he wanted to look into them, “Nothing”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want anything from you”

She bit her lip keeping herself from screaming her head off at the man, “Let me get this straight” she held up her hand, not so much as telling him to stop, but rather to calm herself down, “you are just making decisions for the both of us.”

“I’m not making decisions”

“Oh no?” Myri took a step forward, “You told me you had feelings for me, but you don’t want me to know, don’t want me to react, don’t want me to accept you. Isn’t that in itself making a decision for me?”

“No”

“Explain that to me, exactly how is that not making a decision?”

He let out a deep sigh, “I have a right not to tell you about my own feelings, Kambe. I also have a right not to listen to the rejection. I knew you’d reject me, I knew you’d wouldn’t want me, so what more is there to say?”

Myri shook her head scoffing at his statement, “You really are an arrogant sheb as Cross says”

“Cross?” Hearing his brother’s name on her lips irritated him, even though he knew he had no right to feel irritated, she wasn’t his. She wasn’t anything. Just their medic. 

“Yeah, Cross told me how much of an arrogant jackass you can be at times, especially when it has to do with your own opinion on matters. You always think you know what’s the best thing for everyone, don’t you. Wether that’s for your vode, for yourself, for me, even for Omega, right? Well let me explain something to you” Myri took another step closer only about an arms length away from him, “that’s not how the real world works. You don’t just get to tell me something and then expect me to go along with your own decisions and actions, without the opportunity to speak or give you my opinion on the situation. You don’t get to call me names, say hurtful things about me, because you’re too scared to realize that there’s the possibility of a future in front of you, and you certainly don’t get to come back and apologize to me, telling me that at the end you want nothing from me. I am allowed to express my feelings too, and I’m allowed to tell you that I thought you were the most amazing person I had ever met. I thought you were everything I could’ve wanted in a partner, someone who was willing to listen, to step up, to look after all of us, and yet when I needed you to look after me the most, to give me a chance to actually voice my opinion you shut me down!”

“Thought I was everything?”

“Yeah” Myri’s voice went quiet, “thought you were everything.”

Hunter couldn’t believe what he heard, she had feelings for him, she wanted him as much as he wanted her, how could he have gotten it so wrong. He took a step forward, reaching his hand out to her, hoping he could find some way back from the giant Wrecker-sized mistake he just made. However, before he could even reach her, Myri took a step back. 

“Myri?”

She shook her head, “I need … I need space and I need time to … to decide if you are still what I want. If I want to be with someone who doesn’t take any of my opinions and feelings into consideration. I just need space.”

Hunter simply nodded, he turned, picked up his helmet and walked out of the med cursing himself all the way back to the bunker. Why didn’t he listen to his brothers! Why hadn’t he just express his feelings without the idea of trying to control everything!

As soon as he walked in to the barracks, he tossed his helmet on to the communal table and hurling himself on to his bunk, throwing his arm over his eyes. He wanted to be alone and yet he didn’t. He wanted to be comforted and didn’t want anyone to talk to him. 

His brothers shot glances to one another, wandering if any one of them would get up and speak to Hunter. Tech glanced around, and was getting ready to stand up and move away from his current project, when Crosshair shook his head ‘no,’ and stood from his seat. He slowly moved over to his brother’s bunk, leaning his forearm against the top, shifting the toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other. 

“Take it, it didn’t go well?”

Hunter shifted his arm, glaring at his brother, “Crosshair, you have five seconds to move away from this bunk”

“Listen, you can’t take it that hard. After all you weren’t exactly going to be opening up your arms for her, were you?”

“Cross, final warning!”

Echo came over, pushing Cross away, “Give it time, Hunter. Explain how you truly feel, explain how you acted rashly and without thought.”

“That’s not the issue”

“Then what is?”

“I didn’t give her a chance to be with me, and now … now she may never want to be with me.”

“Then remind her, that she should be with you. Show her that you made a horrible mistake and all you want is to be my her side.”

Hunter moved his arm away completely, “How?”

“Give her a few days, after the announcement tomorrow, tell her exactly how you feel, not what you expect, not what you think you should expect, just what you feel. Tell her the decision is hers with how she wants to proceed between the two of you.”

“What if she doesn’t want me?”

“Then that’s the consequence you have to bear due to your actions. You’re a great leader, Hunter, but you can’t always assume you know what’s best for everyone. Be open and honest, don’t be a Sergeant, be you. I’m sure she’ll come around.” 

Echo patted Hunter’s shoulder, and headed out of the bunk room to meet Tala. 

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You nodded.

“I made sure my assistant brought some outfits for you. If you don’t like any of them, we can buy all new while there in New York.”

“Oh, how exciting.”

“Really?” He rose an eyebrow.

You nodded. “I am excited to experience New York with you.”

“Good. I promise lots of fun.”

You looped your arm with his. “I can’t wait.” You smiled up at him.

*****

Butterflies filled your stomach as his car, pulled up to a smaller airport that was adjacent to the main one. “Jimmy.” You whispered to him with your arm still looped with his. “You have your own plane?”

He chuckled. “I do.”

You shielded your eyes from the sun as you looked at it. “Wow, Jimmy.”

He smiled. “It is much more comfortable then commercial flights.”

You squeezed his arm. “I bet.”

*****

Jimmy, stretched and got comfortable and lifted the arm rest so you could cuddle in despite both of you being buckled in for take off.

As he wrapped an arm around he felt you tremble. “Doll, are you ok?” He shifted a little so he could look at you.

You chewed on your bottom lip. “I always get nervous during take offs.”

“Oh! Well, then cuddle closer. Let me wrap my arms around you, and you can forget all about the take off.”

“Seriously.”

He nodded.

You did just that. The fresh crisp scent of the spa clung to you. He inhaled deeply and and smiled.

He was enjoying how easy all of this was falling into place. He had been certain you’d be a little harder to handle. He wasn’t complaining and certainly this was far more enjoyable then he could have ever expected.

“Jimmy, we are cleared to go.” Came the pilot’s voice over the speaker.

He smiled. The sooner they got there the faster they’d get there the happier he’d be.

As he felt a tremble go through you his gave you a squeeze.

The plane taxied down and soon, with a roar of the engine, they lifted off. Your arms tightened.

Jimmy kept an eye out the window, he watched as they soared higher and higher. It didn’t take long till they were delightfully high up. He could feel your hot breath as you exhaled.

Soon the plane settled and leveled into it. No more climbing or banking. He could only hope the turbulence if would not be terribly.

Soon, one of the girls that had greeted them upon boarding soon unbuckled and came over.

“Champagne and the usual Jimmy?”

He nodded. “Yes, though two flutes, along the fruits and the cheeses.”

“Yes, of course.”

He kissed the top of your head. “We’re safe. No more climbing.”

You pulled back and gave him a heavy lidded look of relief. “You promise?”

He chuckled. “I had no idea you were this nervous.”

You ran your fingers through your hair. “It’s one of the few things that really grab me like that.” You admitted, he watched you swallow.

He gave you a bright smile. “Well, we are about to have some yummy treats, maybe that will make you feel better?” He rose an eyebrow.

You smiled. “Yes, I think so.”

He smiled, meeting your eyes. “Yes, was just taken aback at how cold the seat was.”

You squeezed his hand. He felt himself relax and let your fingers interlace. It was comforting.

“I already know what I’m getting.” Abra said brightly. “But here you all go.” She passed out the menus.

Dan happily took the menu. He pushed the past away. “Grilled cheese?”

Abra beamed and wiggled happily where she sat. “Yes! Though maybe with tomato tonight.”

Dan rose an eyebrow. “That is new.”

“I attempted making it last weekend, and she fell in love with it.” Remarked his sister.

“Oooh, daring!” He chuckled and eyed the choices. Shooting you a sidelong glance, he smirked. “And what will you be having?”

You closed your menu. “Abra,” You met his eyes, before looking over at her. “Gave me a craving for grilled cheese.”

“Well, I do have a good taste.”

Your sister looked over at you. “What? You made her incorrigible, not me.” You both shared a chuckle. “All right, maybe I helped a bit.”

******

“Dan, don’t move!”

“Huh? What?”

Dan looked over at his niece and back at you.

You shook your head. “I said don’t move.” You giggled.

“Ok!”

You reached over and wiped off the spot of hot fudge on his cheek. You licked your thumb. “You got chocolate on you.”

He flushed but smiled. “Well, this is the biggest sundae in Frazier.”

“I have to admit, I forgot how good it is.” Dan’s sister chimed in.

He took a sip from his coffee. “Is it all gone?”

You nodded. “Yup.” You were reminded of that first time you and Dan shared that piece of pie.

*****

You were really awash with how much you cared for Dan. It just bubbled in you.

His keys jangled as he let the two of you into his room.

“So how shall we spend the rest of our night?” He pushed his sleeve aside and glanced down at his watch. “I have some time before I have to sleep.”

You gave him a sympathetic look. “Double?”

“Yeah.” He made a face, before taking your coat to hang it up.

Once again, a delightfully naughty idea tickled you. You had not been able to push it away. Not that you wanted to but how and when was the question. Right now actually sounded perfect. A smirk curled your lips.

Dan coughed loudly. You went over to him. “Are you ok?” You laid a gentle hand on his back.

His blue eyes were aflame when he met yours. “Yes.” His voice was twisted but then he cleared his throat. “Yes.” He moved and held you close. “You are my beautiful girl.” He gently reached up and brushed some hair from your face.

“I love being that.” Yes tonight, you thought.

You could have sworn you felt as he inhaled sharply.

Was that why Helena had taken that step back and given Myka the elevator? Because she knew enough, had always known enough, about Myka’s body to recognize what it was aching for? Maybe that bottle of Romanian wine really had been nothing but a peace offering; even so, this horrific, breathing need made it all so clear. Myka had to stay far, far away from Helena Wells.

Her clarity now echoed that of the past: the morning after their final confrontation, Myka had risen for her run, pushing breakage and failure from her mind, giving over instead to muscle memory. Put feet on floor; brush teeth; layer on clothing; apply socks, shoes; tie laces; pull hair back; pocket key; all ready, everything else pushed aside.

She had opened her door, however, to find the disaster still sickening before her: jagged bottle-teeth littered the hall, and wine was taking its viscous time souring to vinegar, dark and sticky on the old wood. Of course no one had cleaned it up—most likely, no one had noticed any of it.

What are you doing here.

Leaving, Myka had told herself, placing her soles carefully to avoid the glass. Leaving this minute to run away from it; leaving soon, and sooner if possible, to run far away from it.

The irony now, here, at AAI, was that she had to wait instead of run. She had to hold very still and cling to the idea that not moving would be her escape.

The following day, “hold very still” took the form of accepting a lunch invitation from Giselle, her acceptance accompanied—or, more honestly, prompted—by the unruly thought, At least it’ll keep her away from Helena. Her follow-up thought was, What, really, is your objection to that? Which one do you think you own?

She and Giselle slipped into a crowded “down” elevator at the last instant before its doors closed—at which point Myka nearly threw her hands up in surrender, because of course: Helena. So they shared an elevator space after all... but better, Myka tried to tell herself, better the crowd today than the intimacy that would have been last night. No panting, no temptation.

Or maybe she was wrong about temptation. Helena seemed to send Giselle a meaningful look, the sort of flicking glance that Myka had once taken for hers alone. Giselle returned that look with a flirty smirk. She’d flirty-smirked at Myka plenty of times, but it most likely meant something different when she directed it at Helena. Something far more special.

So much for this lunch keeping Giselle from anything.

“Ladies,” Helena said. She was on Giselle’s right; Myka was on Giselle’s left.

Giselle said, with half a grin, “Oklahoma.”

“Incomprehensible sport reference,” Helena said in a grumble that Myka resented recognizing as half real, half for show.

Giselle shoulder-bumped her. “Listen when I talk: I’m Texas.”

Helena shoulder-bumped back. “I was attempting to respond at least vaguely in kind.”

“Myka, explain sports to her,” Giselle said. “Only so many times I can try.”

Myka had been holding herself back from inserting her body between theirs, a physical Don’t be friendly! shriek of ownership over them both. Now she said, as calmly as she could, “That would not go well.”

“She’s already tried to tell me what shoes are for,” Helena complained to Giselle.

Giselle crossed her arms. “Has she.”

Was Myka trying to get Giselle on her side with what she said next? Probably. But Giselle should have been on her side—on AAI’s side, at least—already. “All I told her was that the public shouldn’t have Deceits.”

“She doesn’t want them in competition either,” was Helena’s next jab.

“I bet she doesn’t,” Giselle said, very mild, to Helena. She turned to Myka. “Do you.”

“Of course not,” Myka said.

Helena shrugged, saying to Giselle, “Then she should keep them out of competition.”

Was that a taunt? “How are we supposed to do that?” Myka demanded. “She’s made it impossible.”

Giselle inclined her head toward Helena, a “your turn” move.

Helena obliged. “I haven’t; Zelus has. But frankly, competition is one small corner of a very large field. The company wants Deceits everywhere.”

Myka leaned past Giselle to say, “Well, I don’t.” Saying this, now, directly to Helena; as if saying it harshly enough would make Helena buckle.

Helena offered another shrug, as if she didn’t care what Myka said, or to whom she said it. “In the company’s history, has there been a shoe they didn’t want everywhere? And in any event,” she said now, leaning her own way across Giselle, even farther than Myka had, “everyone wants to run faster.” She gave a cold little laugh. “Everyone but you.” Clearly a taunt.

Myka said, cold in return and true, “That’s right. Not if it’s fake.”

Helena replaced her body at Giselle’s side then, no response other than that. It left Myka hanging, casting new darting glances at Helena and Giselle side by side, as the elevator descended, floor by floor.

Myka had already spent time angrily considering how beautiful they would have been together as younger versions of themselves, but now she was confronted with how beautiful they were together as these this-minute versions. Her resentment of it, of them, gnawed at her, for who was she, who lied about a boyfriend, to get in the way of beauty? She lied to keep her life free of complication, and beauty was complicating. Insurmountably so.

She had to—had to—let go of the idea of Helena as hers. Stupid recalcitrance, clinging to it, for of course Helena had never been hers. She needed to understand that, down to her shoelaces. And whatever special version of herself Helena had made her seem? All right, yes, she had wanted it... Don’t you still want it? she imagined Helena asking, low, seductive.

Not if it’s fake.

She needed to focus on what wasn’t fake: the job she had now, and the importance of making sure she did it.

Also not fake was the fact that Giselle and Helena were two beautiful people who were beautiful together. Get used to this picture, Myka told herself. It’s the one you should want to see.

Myka considered asking Helena to join them for lunch, just to force herself to look at that picture. Then she asked herself, Or would it be to try to insert yourself between them?

The elevator ride ended before she could—or would—allow herself to discern which was more true.

At the restaurant, Myka ordered a layered-vegetable sandwich, suffering through Giselle’s eyeroll at her “without the bread, please” request; Giselle’s choice of a heavily condimented burger and fries was most likely an additional rebuke. When their food arrived, the elements of Giselle’s plate resembled browned, glistening figures arrayed on a crowded beach. Myka’s precise stack of vegetables, meanwhile, was a minimalist skyscraper.

Giselle said, “So that isn’t a sandwich anymore. You know that, right?”

“Don’t tell me what a sandwich isn’t,” Myka said.

That was clearly too much of a snap, for after a pause, Giselle asked, “You okay?”

“Of course. I just want what I want.” To demonstrate, she sliced through the skyscraper, and if impaling the resultant wedge didn’t solve her Helena-and-Giselle problem, it did satisfy.

Giselle said, “Not unrelated: I know something you don’t know.”

“Now who’s on-brand?” But that was too much of a snipe. Get yourself under control.

“Hmmm... what’s it worth to you?”

“How should I know?”

“Fair point. What if it’s worth a lot?”

“Then it would be... good for me to know?”

“Right, but what do I get out of it?”

“Um. Gratitude?”

“I was thinking three days in Monaco,” Giselle said and she looked directly into Myka’s eyes, no diverting, no nonchalant return to the eating of fries.

Her saying that, saying it as she did, was a relief, surprising in its strength: so Giselle and Helena were not back together—or if they were, it didn’t matter. Myka could not in the moment process all the resulting implications, so she said, “We’ll see,” as a way of maybe, possibly, expanding her idea of what the future could reasonably hold.

“Most hope you’ve ever given me,” Giselle said. She deployed a flirty smirk, but it seemed warmer, just a little, in cast and cant, than the Helena one. Was Myka special after all?

“Well, maybe times are changing,” Myka said, hoping it was true. Hoping it was time.

“Exciting news,” Giselle said, and not as dispassionately as she might have done; Myka almost believed her. “So here’s my news for you: Zelus wants to buy Ingenumedix. No, let me rephrase: Zelus really wants to buy Ingenumedix.”

Ingenumedix? That pinged; Myka concentrated and located the source: a newspaper article she’d glanced over, some months ago. “That’s a tech start-up... what does Zelus want it for?”

“Wearables, I heard.”

“Where did you hear this?”

“Does it matter? I’m in communications. People communicate with me. People who care. It’s a tip from someone who cares.”

Someone who cares... “About what?” Myka asked. “Competition being fair?”

Giselle laughed. “Sure. Why not call it that?”

“But why is it worth enough for three days in Monaco?” Myka asked, but as she said those words, she heard how they sounded, and she realized what she’d implied. “I don’t mean you aren’t yourself worth those three days,” she stumbled to say, “because of course you are. Or I... I mean I imagine you would be. Not that I imagine you in Monaco, because of course I don’t. Not you.” No, no, no; that was even wronger. “Not just not you, though; I mean, not you, and of course not anybody else either, because... why am I still talking?” This is where complication gets you.

“Why? Maybe working your way to telling me what you do imagine,” Giselle said, sly. “But don’t worry about hurting my feelings. Three days in Monaco with me? I know what that’s worth. What matters is, I’m in communications.”

“What?” Myka said, baffled.

“Yes. What. But really, you’re asking who. Doesn’t matter, though. Who, what. I don’t know.”

Clearly, Giselle was not going to be clear. Myka said, “I always found ‘Who’s on first’ very confusing.”

“Your problem not mine,” Giselle said. She chuckled. “Speaking of your problem, fun times in the elevator with Helena! You two fighting through me—then around me—that was a show. A show plus.”

“She isn’t my problem,” Myka said, willing it to be true.

“And here I thought you were working on the shoes.”

“Right, but not—she’s not my problem. The shoes are.”

“She’s here because of the shoes.”

“Which are my only problem,” Myka said, again trying to force the truth of it.

“Let me be clear: she’s here.” After this pronouncement, Giselle bit an enormous hunk from her hamburger.

Myka took a new pristine slice from her skyscraper, piercing it perfectly—perfectly satisfyingly—through all its layers. “Let me be clear back,” she said, pleased that she could gesture with the fork holding it, if carefully. That, at least, was clean and unconfusing. “I won’t let that be my problem.”

“That may not be your call.”

“I won’t let that not be my call.”

“You are precious.”

“Thanks,” Myka said, with what she hoped was a long-suffering eyeroll of her own.

“I mean it in the not-mean way.”

“You and Pete are both a lot meaner than you seem to think.”

Giselle took up a French fry. She waved it lazily around—left, right—her wrist flopping limp each way. After this display of nonchalance, she said, “About Pete.”

“What about him?” Myka asked, slicing the skyscraper again. She had to concentrate to do it, so as to keep the layers from collapsing into a sliding mess, like a poorly planned building implosion. Now it was a challenge, to keep it standing as long as possible.

“That’s what I’m wondering. Are he and Helena alike at all?”

She’d thought she understood the game. But what did Pete have to do with any of it? “Why would you ask me that?”

Giselle dropped the fry and raised her hands. “Okay,” she said. “Backing off.”

Unclear about what Giselle was backing off from, Myka too backed off. She abandoned the vegetable skyscraper, though she was barely halfway through its demolition. What good could come from forcing—or even witnessing—its inevitable fall?

*

Myka had called Steve the night before, the night of the elevator, thinking to convince herself that any feelings she might be feeling were nothing but remnants of a brief bit of the past, and that she was perfectly able to talk about that past using the appropriate past tense. “You’ll never guess who, I mean whom, I’ve run into,” she said.

He didn’t respond at first. Then he said, “Uh oh.”

“What?” Myka asked. Seriously, had he immediately jumped to—

“A peacock,” he said, because clearly, he had.

“Are you a mind reader?”

“Voice reader. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” But not because I know what I’m doing, she thought. That elevator could have—would have—been a complete disaster. “She’s here to... anyway, she’s here, and I can’t do anything about it.”

“As a voice reader, it sounds to me like the picture’s still pretty.”

She considered dissembling. Pointless. So she said, “God. Still.” Only to him could she have said such a thing, and it was a relief to have said it out loud, with no twinge of sarcasm or dismissal. But it was also a burden, real and true, to acknowledge with voice and breath that she did still find the view that was Helena so compelling.

He said a low “Hmmm.” Then, “I thought you gave it up. All of it.”

“I did.”

“But you’re rethinking.”

“Absolutely not,” she declared, loud, aggressive. But this was Steve, so she had to be honest. “Well. I was starting to. With someone else. Vaguely. But I keep rethinking. That.”

“Rethinking starting the rethinking.”

“Yes.”

“I’m unclear on where you actually are in the thinking process.”

“When I hear it out loud, so am I. How’s Liam?”

“Handsome,” Steve said, and Myka could hear his half-smile, picture his incipient left-cheek dimple.

“No rethinking for either of you, right?”

“Nope. Wedding’s still on. And you’re not allowed to rethink showing up, best person.”

It was a glancing reference to how she’d become... unreliable. After. So much so, Steve had taken to camping out on the couch that lived on her apartment building’s porch, early in the morning, coffee in hand, waiting for her to return from her run so she couldn’t avoid him. “For my own peace of mind,” he would say, transparently.

Over the course of several mornings, she explained that she was considering going home again, waiting again, this time until she knew for certain.

She didn’t tell him about the coin that had done her so wrong.

He had expressed understanding, but he had also noted that the choice wasn’t binary: to lawyer or to run away. And then he’d sent her links to several job postings, one of which was at AAI.

After Myka accepted the AAI position, she took the news of it to her father. She had her arguments prepared: she told him that law school hadn’t been enough of a challenge. That was the truth. That she’d been ambivalent about law—also true—and that she wanted to take what she’d learned and use it differently than anyone expected. “Even you,” she tried to joke.

“Expectations,” he’d said, and she waited for him to go on. Waited. Eventually, he would have to fill the void. “Good run this morning?” he asked at last.

She couldn’t cry; it would have confirmed what she was reasonably sure he’d guessed, that she was trying to work her way out of something terrible. So she kept the hot red relief behind her nose, away from her eyes and throat, and said, “First few miles were ragged, but I found a stride about halfway. You?”

“Listened to my knees pop the whole time. You think I should get one of those i-things, with the little earbud whatevers? How loud do they go? Would that drown it all out?”

That had been the end of it, as far as Myka had ever been able to tell. Her father listened to her talk about AAI, asked focused questions, and expressed admiration for the ex-athletes she worked with. She breathed a little easier after each conversation.

So Myka owed Steve.

After much puzzling over what could possibly constitute an appropriate wedding present, she’d at last lit on the idea of, then actually found, a Matchbox-car Saab, which she’d repainted orange. One or more of his high school friends might have had the same idea, but a good friend—the best friend—couldn’t really have too many model orange Saabs. Probably.

And all right, yes: she’d thought about Helena. Constantly. When she’d ideated the toy Saab. When she’d bought the car and the orange paint. When she’d applied coat after painstaking coat to cover its original unassuming amber. She’d thought and thought and thought, against her will but not really, about that time she was not known for driving an orange Saab.

She considered that she herself might have called Helena into being, here, now, by doing all that thinking. “It’s kind of your fault,” she was tempted to say to Steve... but she had to wait until after the wedding for that. By then, at least, it would be nothing but comedy, for by then, all this Helena business would be behind her.

This is what I’m supposed to want.

*****

Deep down, you couldn’t let him be out there. Sure Abbott and the others were but memories of him and his were still fresh in your mind.

******

Rubbing one of the tables in the corner you rolled your shoulders. Today, you had felt like you had slept on the wrong side of the bed. You had been dragging all day.

You saw something from the corner of your eye, you glanced. It was Lou, you believed. He shot you a broad winning smiled. He pushed himself off the wall and came over.

“Hi I’m Lou. Abbott gave you to Fred and us?”

You smiled. “Yup.”

“Fred doesn’t like distractions. You won’t be one will you?”

“Don’t plan on it.”

“You know I could use a fresh face at my dealership, if Fred is too much of a grump for you; you can come and be one of my office girls.”

You glanced over to where Fred was leaning against the back of the bar. Catching his eye, you smiled. He pressed his lips together and nodded.

With the glance, your heart twitched. What was about him, inwardly you shrugged.

You looked up at look as you grabbed the cloth. “Thank you but” You looked around. “I like it here.” You looked back at him.

“But we’re old and bastards half of the time.”

“I like the stories.” You shrugged. “Most of the men in my family are or were enlisted. I grew up hanging around them. I’m one of the few girls.”

He made a sound. “Alright.” He leaned in. “So we don’t scare you?”

You shook your head. “Nope.” And with that you went back to the bar.

You went over and dropped the cloth in bucket, where the soiled ones went. You caught Thomas as he eyed his empty beer glass. Grabbing it you pulled it to you. “Fresh one Thomas?”

He gave you a smile. “Yes, please.”

You nudged Fred gently, as the beer began to fill the mug. “How are you doing tonight?”

He glanced down at you. “I’m alright.” He moved his head in the direction of his friend. “What he want?”

You stopped the tap. “He offered me a job.”

Before he could respond, you fluttered back to Thomas.

“Lou, are you trying to steal the girl?” His mouth, dropped on the one side as he spoke.

The hairs on the back of your neck, tingled at Fred’s words.

“Here you go.” You smiled.

“Thank you.”

Turning looked between Fred and Lou, who shrugged smiling.

“I could always use a new office girl.”

You drew closer to the two of them. Fred, dropped a hand on your shoulder, he squeezed it. “Well, I don’t know. She’s added something.” He winked down at you. “Don’t give her any ideas.”

“Ehh.” Lou made a dismissive gesture. “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

You only grimaced. Vaguely you heard the steamer buzz. “I’ll be back.” And off you went to retrieve the freshly steamed glasses.

Opening the door, you pulled back to avoid the plume of steam that came out. You grabbed the removable shelf, turning you gasped as you found Fred in the doorway.

You gasped, the glasses clinked as you stopped suddenly. You couldn’t read his expression. “Fred?”

“You gonna let him steal you away from here?”

You shook his head. “Nah. If I had wanted to work at a stuffy dealership I would have.”

He moved so you could walk past him. “Good. It hasn’t been bad having you around.” He gave you a half smile.

“I’m glad. I like it here,” You smiled up at him as you stopped right in front of him. “and you’re not so bad either.”

You went back out into the bar with the glasses.

******

It stank of death. So much had gone down. He had not smelled death in so long. Why the fuck did it have to be in his bar. Why did it have to be his friends.

He watched as you began righting the chairs and tables. Damn, so many had been destroyed. But also as he watched you, he shook his head. He would have never guessed with the bubbly side you showed that you’d been this strong.

Fuck, he knew you came from a brave family but that could have skipped you. But there you were, you were fucking his now. He chewed the inside of his cheek. He was going to fucking do right by you.

“Thank you.” You thanked the girl sweetly. “We’re good.” You told her before she could ask and once again, she fluttered off.

You grabbed a strawberry, you slowly enjoyed it. Occasionally glancing over at Roman. He was being silent which you knew wasn’t good but you also began to feel the champagne, your drink and an earlier one. So you decided tonight you were going to play. The idea excited you immensely.

“Roman.” You pouted. “Are you not feeding me any more? Do I have to grab them all myself?”

He rose an eyebrow as his blue eyes went over to look at you. He shrugged. “They were a reward for my good girl. And you’ve already been bad.”

You huffed. “Fine.” You pouted more. “I suppose I’ll enjoy all these big strawberries by myself.”

When you were about to reach for one his gloved hand grabbed it and swirled it and then held it close. “Just be my good girl.”

“I can be.” You were walking a very thin line between the two of you. It’s making your heart beat harder. You gently held your hand over his and enjoyed the strawberry. “Thank you daddy.”

He offered you a few more and you enjoyed those but that was when you chose once again to be bad, oh this is going to be fun. You could do this since he was not angry. It wasn’t as if you had not pushed when he has been angry, but something about when he was in a good mood, you knew made him see all you were doing clearer.

You grabbed your drink.

“Remember what I said.” He reminded you.

“Of course daddy.” You looked over at him and nodded. But you did the opposite. With a sigh and more clinking of the ice you enjoyed all of the new drink. the force of the drink washed over you. His arm tightened around you, your glass jangled and his shimmied as he slammed his gloved hand down.

“What the fuck did I say?”

The first giggle, like the bubbles in the champagne came to the surface. His jaw tightened. “You told me to savor it.” Once again a giggle bubbled forth. “You do not want me to become giggly.” And once again, your turned to look at him. “Oops!” Your words had grown heavy in your mouth somewhere from first sipping and finishing your drink. His eyes were blue choppy seas.

Damn, how did you get that fucking lucky, you mused. He was so fucking hot. You had been sleeping with him for a few years now. You could suck on him, whenever you wanted. Oh! Your mouth watered at the idea, you swallowed.

Drawing close, you let a tiny giggle escape. That one you were sad escaped, at that moment you wanted to be sexy when you leaned in close. “Daddy?” You whispered close to his ear.

“What?” His voice was as sharp as the knives he carried sometimes.

You rubbed your legs together in your frustration. “I want to suck on your cock.” A low moan came from you as you verbalized the fantasy playing out in your head.

Right here at his table, while people partied, some of whom were toasting him since at his club one always had a good fucking time. And there you would be sucking away at him as he sat at his table, you under it. No one would be the wiser. You grasped, no you squeezed your thighs. The fantasy made you ache for him.

Your excitement grew as one side of his mouth twisted up into a smirk. He made an endearing sound. “You want my cock in your mouth, huh baby?”

You nodded.

He brought your hand over. The act made you grow wetter as he placed your hand over it.

“I would love that. I love having those beautiful lips around my cock. But I’m not sitting in the right place.”

You began to pout.

He drew close then as his hand pressed your hand harder against his growing hard on. “And I will never let anyone see you doing that. I would have to kill anyone that even whispers of you being a whore who slips under the table and just blows me.”

“But daddy.” You squeezed him.

“No.”

“Fine.” You slipped your hand from feeling him. The rest of you slipped from the booth. “Then I will see you later, Roman.”

Honestly, as you began moving through the dancing people, you didn’t know why you got up. It actually warmed your heels that he wanted to defend your honor but you were upset. You ached so hard for him. And you were determined for some kind of release.

Gloved fingers wrapped around your wrist. Before you had a moment to register it and wiggle free, he had pulled you smoothly against him. You could feel all of him.

“Where are you going?” He asked and moved a little with you. It was partially because you did love when he would move with you on the dance floor and another part so as to draw attention.

You wrapped an arm around him, you could enjoy the moment and relish the feel of his suit under your naked arm. “I needed to get off.” You said sweetly near his ear, pressing a kiss on his throat. The scent of his aftershave filled your nose making you even hungrier for him. Easily you slipped away again, just as a song ended.

Your heels, your desire somehow made it to the elevator that would take you to the penthouse. Pushing the button, you smiled as the doors opened.

You went in. As the doors began to close he caught up with you, but with a metallic thud the elevator began to make its climb to the penthouse. His look, his black hair falling into his eyes made you shiver.

Halfway with shaky hands, you reached under your dress and took off your panties. Not caring to be in your heels, you stepped free of them and went back to your own height of three inches shorter. Knowing you probably would never need to wear that particular pair of panties again, you stuffed them into one of your heels. They most certainly had been soaked with your desire for Roman.

With a ding, it announced its arrival at the penthouse.

Your breathing was shallow since your heart and desire were at their peak. You stepped out.

“Did you really think I’d stay down there?”Roman’s voice rasped as he stepped out of the shadows of their already rather darkened penthouse.

You had not expected him to take the stairs, and even less that he’d arrive around the same time.

You blinked looking up at him. You shook your head. “No.” You said, shocked you had not squeaked out your answer. Your desire mixed with the delightful unease as he towered over you.

“You are not going to fucking need these anymore.” He pulled and took ahold of your heels, you heard them crash as they finally landed after he threw them. “You wanted my cock, huh? Well, I will give you my cock. Now get down on your knees.”