#parenting asks

Hey Nonny, Thanks for the ask. Let's look at couple by couple:

Tobias x Casey: They have the most children of any of my pairings, three little girls. Also, two of their three were not planned, so it would be easy to think it was the hardest/most chaotic for them. But it really wasn't. It wasn't always easy, of course, and they went through the normal adjustment periods, but they handled it pretty well. First, they're fortunate enough to have family/friends who help; second, they have the financial means to put things in place to allow them their own space and free time (for example, Tobias soundproofs their room... just sayin' 😏). But the other thing they had was a bright attitude and a lot of love that got them through everything. They just tend to roll with the punches together, and that's why I love them!

Ethan x Kaycee: They just have one daughter, Emma. They both realized that having more would have been a strain on their career, marriage, personal time, and lifestyle, so they made the smart choice of not doing that. I'm sure Alan, Naveen, and Kaycee's parents help where they can, but none of them are very old, so they still have jobs/lives of their own. They can rely on friends, also, but I think they'd have a very good nanny to boot. It makes sense with the type of careers they have. Also, while they love their time with Emma, they also love their time alone together. So they make sure to factor that in. Look, one of the best gifts parents can give their children? Having a happy marriage. They never lose sight of that.

Eli x Zoe: I have not solidified if they will have children - I believe they will - but how many, etc... still working on that. I plan on writing for them this year, and I don't want to give too much away, but one wants to have children, the other not so much, and both are not thrilled about bringing children into such a dangerous world. But once it happens, they do well. Olympus is like the ultimate community, so there are many hands to look after all the children. Also, these two are an excellent team that always have each other's back, and that's critical to successful parenting and coupling.

Trytan x Carolina: In my HC, they are not going to have children. It's not something either of them wants; they're quite happy with the life they have and see no reason to change that. There may be some children in their lives who they have special relationships with, but it's not nearly the same.

This is a cool question! Let's just rescue all the Afton kids like a week before the bite of '83! (In my version of events, Elizabeth was dead by then, but we'll ignore that!) Evan would be nine at this time, Elizabeth would be ten, and Michael would be fifteen.

-Overall, Henry would be the more involved parent. Joey likes kids, but when push comes to shove, Henry is the one that would do the tough stuff like giving Michael heck about skipping school again, or comforting Evan after Michael gave him hell again, or say no to Elizabeth when she's trying to go to a high schooler party held by a friend's big sibling again. Joey shows up for more of the fun stuff.

-That being said, even though Joey parents roughly as much as he feels like and not much more, that's still a lot more than William did. He wants to teach his kids that they can accomplish anything they put their minds to, and would tell them all kinds of stories and probably try to teach them about his Illusion of Living philosophy.

-Elizabeth could be. Interesting. She's willful and stubborn as heck and has got a bit of her father's ruthlessness in her, but she also has a decent conscience. Joey might be tempted to teach her a bit about the business world or even the Satanic world, but he'd be careful about letting her know too much, too quickly. Those two would be a pair, and would definitely have little secrets they keep from Henry- I'm just not sure whether those secrets would be on the level of, "I snuck her into a party when I said I was taking her to the movies," or the level of "I showed her how to draw a pentagram." Henry is nice and Elizabeth loves him, but she knows who the fun parent is.

-Henry doesn't play favourites. That being said, he is definitely Evan's favourite parent, and Henry definitely enjoyed seeing the little guy come out of his shell over time (Henry had found Evan’s initial timidity to be rather worrisome- the world was clearly not a friendly place in this kid’s eyes). Henry became his rock, and Evan even eventually told him What He Saw (a man dying due to a springlock failure). They're probably the closest pair in the family. Joey would try to push Evan to be bolder as well, since Joey has a thing about masculinity and a bigger thing about showing his kids that he believes in them.

I’m going to answer these for my very wacky SerSolAdaar baby being raised by the entire Inquisition (it’s complicated, and I will never publish any of it to AO3 in any logical format, but you can read something I threw away on a Thursday once for this completely cracked out world state in which my Sera-mancing Adaar ends up accidentally conceiving a baby in the Fade with Solas). This scenario was actually my first foray into writing fan fiction (or at least knowingly doing so), which was always meant to just be a thing I did by myself and never told anyone about, but like, then stuff happened and now I actually share my writing with people...weird.

11. Who has a harder time getting the baby to eat their food?

Solas is the worst at it. He doesn’t understand why the baby won’t just eat. He wonders if maybe the child has lost their will to live, being born separate from the Fade where it was conceived. And he worries it might be his fault, but he would never say so. Sera mostly just gives it cookies, so of course the baby noms those down. And Adaar has no problem giving the boob whenever her baby is hungry. During War Table meetings, while addressing the troops, during diplomatic visits...Josephine, Cullen, and Leliana all dare anyone to raise an eyebrow or say anything about it.

12. Who ends up having to hold whatever half-eaten snack the baby didn’t want anymore?

Dorian. If he’s around. He falls for it every time. Baby hands him something, and he just takes it. “Ew! What even is this?! And why is it so sticky?!” Cole will sometimes nibble a little bite off and tell him.

13. Who checks under the bed for monsters?

Coming right up!

6. Who has an easier time calming the baby when they’re upset?

Jane is invincible when she starts singing. She has a pretty good voice so in the end it was easier for her to calm the kids down. Lucas had his own ways too, that fortunately didn’t involve his voice because my baby isn’t the best singer out there. He took them for a smol walk around the block and it worked most of the time. But I must say that the real MVP here on the baby calming issue is definitely Buck hehehe. The kids couldn’t resist that silly dog!

9. Who does their kid gravitate towards more? Are there any quirks/mannerisms they picked up from being around this parent?

When Jude was a little kid, his life revolved around his dad. He admires him so much and he definitely copied everything Lucas did. They are both huge nerds, with a passion for dogs. As I said here, he’s become more reserved in time and he started being more on his own, but his admiration for Lucas is definitely still there. He’s taken Hathaway’s temper tho. He has Jane’s energy and humor. Lily was more balanced. She spent time with both Jane and Lucas. She is very calm and pensive like Lucas, but she is stubborn like Jane.

This is...this is interesting lol

I say that because Charlie is the more relaxed parent and Emma is the more strict one.

But I love this ship and I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole I made for it

Thank you for asking!☺️

packs the lunches?

Emma. If Charlie even tried, it would be a disaster. He’d probably just throw an entire candy bar and maybe some random piece of fruit in and call it a day.

blows raspberries while cuddling?

They both do occasionally, but whenever Charlie decides he wants more of his father’s personality to show in him, he’ll do it because he loves making his kids laugh.

is the tickle monster?

It depends on the day, and if they’re working with dragons or not. It can go either way, and sometimes they work together with it, tickling the child until they’re crying from laughter. They just don’t start the tickling game around the dragons on the reserve because some of the dragons aren’t that receptive to children running by them.

gives life lesson speeches?

Usually, Emma if it’s more serious matters, but sometimes Charlie will weigh in on them too. Charlie’s style is more telling the kids a silly story with a life lesson hidden in it. Charlie’s a great story teller, and almost always tells stories with dragons in them. Change my mind.

kisses the boo-boos?

The kids will run to whichever parent is closer, so both of them end up kissing the boo-boos.

breaks the bad news?

They both do it together, though Emma usually takes the lead with it. Sometimes, though it is a bit more rare, Charlie will take the lead.

joins the PTA?

Emma. Charlie’s too busy with the dragons, and Emma’s the more organized parent of the two so she’s more likely to join the PTA and become the President of it.

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories?

Charlie. And the stories always are told at the absolutely worst time. The kids groan about it in front of their friends, but secretly they love their dad just busting in and telling an embarrassing story.

gives the crazy nicknames?

BONUS! E. Are they honest with their children? Are there certain things they try to shield them from?

Morrigan prides herself on her sometimes-brutal honesty and attempting to shield Kieran from nothing...while at the same time devoting the past ten years of her life so far as a mother to keeping him away from Flemeth and anyone who might take an interest in the mystery of his conception. But the boy has lived in the wilderness, inside an Eluvian, travelling from place to place, at the Empress’ court in Orlais, and now at Skyhold with the Inquisition, so he’s seen a lot (and you know, has the soul of an Old God, soooo). Alistair is definitely far more of a coddler. He has spent much less time with Kieran, so he has to make up for that, I guess, and it’s a bit shocking whenever he realizes just how much of the “adult world” Kieran knows about or is aware of.

11. Who has a harder time getting the baby to eat their food?

I’ll start with the Fenhanders twins, Malcolm and Leand(e)ra...

1. Who do the kids enjoy playing with the most?

Definitely Anders when he joins the family,* because he lets them get away with the most. Then Fenris. Bonus if they get both of them at the same time. Hawke is...less patient when it comes to playing games with her children (“There should be rules...that make sense! And Leandera shouldn’t always just get to declare herself the winner!”), but Malcolm is very content just to be in the same room as her, playing or reading or practicing his magic.

2. Who gets carried away with the baby proofing?

Fenris. Anders frets over silly things like “what if the roof caves in or we run out of elfroot?” (they have soooo much elfroot), but Fenris gets out the power tools and installs the baby gates and the childproof locks and the bumpers on the coffee tables and makes sure all the furniture is attached to the walls (these are all things we never did for Spawn...because I am Hawke, who thinks babyproofing is some kind of birth control).

3. Who does the baby follow around more?

Leandera definitely follows Fenris around more, though she has always been rather independent (and gets in trouble for going off and doing things on her own that she isn’t supposed to…). Malcolm is like Hawke’s shadow (he spent the entire first year of his life strapped to her).

4. Who is the one the kids call out to when they’re looking for something?

Fenris. Lol. He’s the only real adult parent who knows where anything is.

5. Who’s constantly up checking on the baby in the middle of the night (even when the baby is sound asleep)? 

If Anders had been there when they were infants, he would’ve been up all night just staring at them, panicking if they made any kind of noise, then panicking if they weren’t making enough noise. But Fenris definitely was the wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-suddenly-wondering-if-your-children-are-okay type who would go in and check on Leandera. Hawke kept Malcolm with her co-sleeping until he was old enough to demand his own space.

6. Who has their kids’ favorite movie nearly memorized on account of how frequently they request to watch it?

Anders. Because it’s his favorite, too. ;)

7. Who trails behind the baby to make sure they don’t fall? (And then has to console them once they inevitably do.)

Fenris when they were younger, then Anders. Hawke usually just laughed if they fell, and then helped them up. She’s not a bad mom, I swear. But kids are funny, ok?

8. Who knows to cut off the crust from the sandwiches?

Fenris, definitely.

9. Who started taking photos of the baby as soon as they were born?

Bethany? Merrill? Neither Fenris nor Hawke strike me as the photo-taking type (I mean, theoretically…), plus, they were sort of like, fugitives at the time.

10. Who doesn’t let the kids go out in the cold until they’re bundled in layers?

Anders, definitely. Also, he enchants all their outerwear and shoves health potions in all their pockets.

*Anders was, errr...indisposed (presumed dead? chillin’ in the Fade...y’know, as one does after blowing up the Chantry) for the first few years of the twins’ lives until someone used their weird magical connection to the Fade to bring him back.

...

Now, for Morristair and Kieran...

I answered BONUS! E here.

6. Who has their kids’ favorite movie nearly memorized on account on how frequently they request to watch it?

Definitely Morrigan. And I bet Kieran’s favorite movie (or story? play?) as a little kid would be like, IDK, the Thedas equivalent of Some Like It Hot or something totally random and old…ok, now I need to figure this one out. It’d have to be some weird Orlesian fairy tale...

15. Who is better at comforting the kids when they’re scared?

Both of them...Morrigan usually keeps a more even head and calming presence while reassuring Kieran, but Alistair gives really great hugs.

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