#paradox.etcjournal

Ok since i've been thinking a lot about scarf/ties around the neck, and also the fact that i've been a ribbon choker enthusiast since back then—i think it's fair for me to wanna make this as a signature style/look of mine? IDK cuz I feel like only wearing necklaces wouldn't make it look very Seth without a neck choking accessory(?) LOL so that's why I really wanna get into buying more scarfs :33. Moreover, it reminds me of the time I was quite insecure of my 'long neck' said to me by a classmate of mine which I used to regard as 'that one pretty girl' so I got insecure about it. HOWEVER, it also inspired me to put more into my neck that amplifies it further, heh.

also me: i hate this sm... I HATE YALL

"Figure out who you are, what you want, what actually makes sense for the way you're wired."

"Listen, you blink and you're 50 and you're still thinking about where you were headed. You're still thinking about where you're going and life has passed you by. You haven't even lived a bit because your whole life was about where you were going, not where you are." - honestly, this quote reminds me of that one thought I had where I probably would feel so much free to make my decisions if I was closer to death. that i'd ironically feel more ALIVE when I'm close to death's door than knowing that I've got 60 or so more years to live on. it doesn't feel crucial yet to do something I deep down really want, because I can do it in another time; what matters right now is what could benefit me in the coming years.